


My Heart Speaks The Words I Never Could

by Taylor_EL



Series: My Heart Speaks The Words I Never Could [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-19 09:46:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 120,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4741748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taylor_EL/pseuds/Taylor_EL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brittany hasn't spoken since she was six years old and has a fear of being touched. What happens when she meets Santana Lopez? Will she finally be able to open up about her past?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been brought over from my fanfiction account under the name Taylor-EL (Previously EdenLeighanne163) but I decided to create an account on here so I've got them in two places. So if you do recognise the story that's why. If you've never read this story then I hope you enjoy it!

_She was running. She wasn't sure where she was going but she knew she had to get away. Away from the people and away from the situation. Everyone was laughing as she ran but she tuned them out as she had bigger things to worry about than their laughter. Bigger things than what they thought of her. She was scared and immediately thought of running so she was safe. Safe away from everyone laughing, judging and touching her. No one understood and they never would. No one ever had. She ran away from the school as fast as she could until she reached-_

Brittany's alarm went off. The song 'Moves like Jagger' was blasting out loudly around her room and as much as she loved the song, she had to start getting ready, so she reached over and switched it off. She groaned putting her face back into her pillow. She hated mornings where she had to get up early since it was always such a mission and no matter how much sleep she got, she still felt the struggle. She swore down to this very day that her body just couldn't handle the earliness. That is a word right? Remember to ask Lord Tubbington later. Brittany forced her body out of bed and to the bathroom. She had a certain way of doing things. She needed routine because without it she would forget to do something. Every morning she went to the toilet, washed her hands, brushed her teeth, washed her face, showered, dried her hair, straightened it then finally she got dressed. She did the same thing every morning and even though it might be boring for some, she liked it. Once this was all done then she could finally go downstairs to eat.

The blonde haired girl walked downstairs pondering over her dream. She had dreamt it the past week and it always ended in the same way. It confused her, but then again, a lot of things did. She walked into the kitchen and made herself some cereal along with a glass of orange juice then sat at the table. Her mom had left for work already just like every morning and her dad was away on business so she was by herself. Well, she was alone apart from Lord Tubbington. He always came down for breakfast and other meals unless he was out with his lady friend. Yes, Lord Tubbington was seeing another cat. Brittany heard him talk about her a lot so how could she not know about her? She was starting a new school today and she was terrified. It would be a place full of new people who wouldn't understand what she was going through. What she had gone through. It frustrated her that no one understood her apart from Rachel. Brittany was glad she had Rachel because she had trouble making friends, so at least she could say she had one true friend. Because of Rachel being there for her, she knew she didn't have to worry as much. Rachel would protect her like always. Brittany checked her phone and saw a new message from Rachel.

**From Rachel: Hey Britt! Excited about today? I can't wait to have you by my side everyday! Don't worry, by having me with you no one will dare touch you. I am on the football team after all :P I'll pick you up at 7:30. See you soon. Love you!**

Brittany smiled. She had been best friends with Rachel for as long as she could remember. It sucked how they went to separate high schools to begin with. Since she got – well let's leave it at since she left school, she convinced her parents to go to McKinley. She knew Rachel would look after her as she always did. Her parents weren't keen on the idea to begin with since they knew there weren't any specialized staff to work with her, well not many anyway, but she was able to convince them. Brittany hated being different. People always noticed that she wasn't like everyone else so they treated her differently, which she hated. She found out in her freshman year that she has a severe case of Dyslexia. It frustrated her because it made learning harder and she had to spend more time studying just to get a decent grade. With needing extra support with work people thought she was stupid, which hurt a lot. To add to that she also didn't talk. She hadn't spoken since she was six years old. Not even Rachel heard her speak anymore. If her brother was here he would make her feel better but since he wasn't, she had to cope on her own.

Brittany looked at the time and noticed that it was 7:25am already which meant five minutes before Rachel was due to arrive. She stood up and washed the dishes then walked into the living room to get her bag. Her mum had decided to pack it the night before so she couldn't forget anything. She was known to be forgetful. Hearing the doorbell she smiled knowing exactly who was on the other side, so she went to answer it. Brittany opened the door and there stood Rachel in her McKinley Letterman jacket, Converses, baggy jeans and a tight, red top. She grinned.

"Brittany!"

Brittany rarely missed anyone. When her parents were away she didn't miss them, and the friend she had at her old school she didn't miss either but when it came to Rachel, she always missed her no matter how long they were apart. Over the Christmas break Rachel had gone away with her dads since she didn't celebrate the holiday, due to the fact that she was Jewish. Was it Hanukkah she celebrated? She knew it was something like that. How was she meant to know? She wasn't Jewish. Brittany opened the door completely and let her in. It wasn't the warmest of weathers after all. Since Brittany didn't speak Rachel had taken it upon herself to learn sign language so they could communicate. They took a class – well she says they as Brittany turned up as well since she was the one doing all the signing. Anyway they took the class whilst they had been in middle school. It was definitely easier in Brittany's opinion than writing what she wanted to say all the time. Rachel just talked normally and she would just use sign language to reply. People thought it was weird that Rachel was friends with her but no one could separate them and Rachel made that clear. Brittany went to meet her once outside McKinley and people were whispering, but Rachel put them in their place and they shut up instantly. Brittany had never been so happy to be defended like that. She knew no one crossed her way in school because no one dared. She was looking forward to seeing how people treated her in school since Rachel was one of the most popular students there.

"So are you ready for your first day Britt?" Rachel asked turning to look at Brittany whilst she gathered her stuff together.

Brittany nodded putting her bag on her shoulder before walking out together. Rachel reminded her to lock the door behind her since she never remembered to do that before going out. She got into the car and Rachel drove towards McKinley. She didn't know whether to be more excited or nervous, so she settled for both. She never liked decisions. Whenever she was asked what her favourite colour is she tells them it's not fair on all the other colours to pick a favourite. But she knew what her favourite animal was. Well actually she had two. The first one is a unicorn and the second one is a duck. She loved ducks and even went to the duck pond in the park to feed them. Well, when it wasn't too cold to do so.

Brittany had heard a lot about Rachel's life, such as she knew she was on the football team as a wide receiver, that her best friends were Santana and Sam, then there was how Rachel had a girlfriend called Quinn. They have been dating for just over a year now and they definitely looked good together. She had seen pictures of the both of them and they looked adorable. She knew Rachel so well that she knew her like the back of her hand, but how well Rachel knew her was a completely different story. She hardly told Rachel anything as she was generally a private person in reality. She didn't like talking about her life since it was none of their business. She had quite big trust issues. It's not that she doesn't trust Rachel because she does. It's the fact that she didn't feel the need to tell her everything with them being best friends anyway. Another reason is because she doesn't talk and she has Dyslexia, so she doesn't want the school finding out if they overhear her telling someone. She has been down that road and she doesn't want to go down it again. Well, not the telling someone part but everyone finding out part. Make sense? She wished it did to her. Rachel pulled up at McKinley car park and parked the car in her reserved spot switching the engine off. All football players had them apparently.

"I know this is scary for you but just remember that you're not alone, okay?" Rachel reassured unbuckling her seat belt turning to look at her best friend. "You have me and once I introduce you to my friends, you will have them too."

Brittany smiled. She knew she was right as Rachel never lied to her even if it was painful to hear. She looked around seeing the students getting out of cars, buses and some had even walked in. They must be brave to do that since it was freezing outside! Whenever she wanted to be brave she turned to her unicorn as she knew all unicorns were brave. Plus they were magical and they never forget how special they are. Sometimes she forgets how special she is so she turns to her unicorn to help her remember. She was a unicorn herself after all. Brittany had been given it by Rachel when she had been going through a tough time at her old school; she had turned to it ever since. Brittany knew she had been a unicorn for a while and even though she had never told anyone, she knew Rachel had guessed herself. She unbuckled her seat belt just like Rachel had done and picked up her bag off the floor getting out the car. Being sat around made Brittany feel more nervous and she didn't need that. She watched as Rachel got out after her before locking it and walking towards her.

"Come on. Let's get this school day started. I know you'll love it!" Rachel said flashing a smile in her direction.

She smiled walking up to the school with Rachel wondering what the year would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I forgot to put the disclaimer at the start of the last chapter so here it is!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the characters!

She knew they were staring. Even without looking Brittany knew they were. It was nerve wrecking being the new kid at school seeing as no one knows you, so people either tried too hard to get to know you or they ignored you. Brittany hoped it would be the being ignored option because she hated drawing attention to herself. She didn't need it and she certainly didn't want it. All she wanted was to go to lesson without being bothered then meet Rachel on her breaks. Simple enough. Brittany saw all the students whilst walking through the corridor. It made her panic a little but she didn't make it noticeable to Rachel. She didn't want her worrying but Rachel knew not to baby her. They got into an argument over it at one point and stopped talking for a week. Rachel eventually apologised for treating her that way.

"Before I take you to Figgins office, I want to introduce you to my friends." Rachel said walking towards her locker.

As they walked towards Rachel's locker Brittany noticed the people stood in front of it. Brittany recognised one as Quinn since she had seen her in multiple pictures with Rachel. The other two were obviously Santana and Sam. By the looks of it Sam was part of the football team alongside Rachel. He looked tall and obviously worked out often. His hair was on the longish side but it wasn't too long and he had blonde hair just like her. She turned to look at Santana and her heart stopped. She was absolutely gorgeous. Breathtaking even. Her hair was black and it fell below her shoulders and even though she looked shorter than the rest of them, she was definitely the prettiest one there. Brittany saw her smile and could honestly say it was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. Santana turned and smiled at the pair of them whilst they walked towards them. Brittany gave her a small smile back then looked at the ground in embarrassment. She had obviously stared longer than intended.

They got to the trio and stopped. Rachel smiled kissing Quinn in greeting. She didn't know whether to stare or look away but she decided in the end that looking away was probably the politest option.

"Hey guys. I'd like to introduce you to Brittany." Rachel introduced standing beside her. Brittany didn't know where to go from there so she decided to smile.

"So you're Brittany?" Quinn asked curiously. Brittany guessed that she had wanted to meet her. It made her feel happy knowing that. "Rachel has told all of us so much about you!"

Brittany froze. How much had Rachel told them exactly? It was her life after all and now they knew about it? Well now she was worried. She knew Rachel though and she wouldn't go around telling them her private business. Rachel noticed the change in Brittany's demeanour and knew she had to do something to stop her panicking.

"I've told you about her but not as much as you are making out." Rachel declared putting the facts right. Brittany started to relax a bit. "But there are a couple of things you should know. Are you okay with me explaining the situation, Britt?"

Brittany turned towards Rachel and nodded. She knew Rachel trusted them so she trusted her judgement on telling all of them. Plus if something happened to her and Rachel wasn't available she could have one of these three help her. Rachel smiled towards her in comfort before turning to her friends and girlfriend. 

"Well as you have probably noticed, Brittany only responds by nodding her head. Well Brittany doesn't talk. She hasn't since she was six years old."

They all looked at her surprised. She wasn't like everyone else so they obviously thought it was weird that she doesn't talk. Yes, she uses sign language but she can only do that with Rachel since no one else understands it. Plus Brittany was only comfortable with Rachel. Santana looked at Brittany and saw the worry in her eyes. She was obviously worrying about their reaction and if she was being honest, she didn't blame her. They were all people she didn't know and heck, she would feel the same way.

"Brittany," Santana began getting the girls attention. The blonde looked up quite surprised that she was talking to her since she didn't expect her to. "We don't think any less of you because you don't talk."

Brittany smiled. No one had ever said that to her before and it actually made her feel wanted instead of feeling like an outcast, which is usually how she feels when people find out that she doesn't talk. It made her feel like she wasn't different, which is the one thing she always wanted. She decided to do something she hadn't done with anyone apart from Rachel before.

" _Thank you._ " Brittany signed to Santana. Rachel looked at her surprised as it was something new that she hadn't done before. Ever since they had both started sign language Brittany had never been comfortable enough to do it with anyone, apart from herself. But to see her sign to someone who wasn't her made Rachel smile.

"You're welcome." Santana responded smiling. Everyone looked at her surprised, which made Santana look back. "What?"

"You know sign language?" Rachel asked shocked. She couldn't recall a time where Santana mentioned knowing sign language. She was happy all the same seeing as Brittany could talk to someone else apart from her. She didn't mind Brittany talking to her obviously, but it would benefit Brittany more if she could have someone else to talk to so she could have someone else to hang out with and talk to.

"Yeah I do. My cousin is deaf so I became fluent in it since I talk to him quite often. He lives near me so I go and visit him occasionally and I have to know sign language or he would have to write everything down and that gets annoying after a while." Santana explained confessing her knowledge for sign language for the first time. Brittany smiled knowing how hard that must have been for her but she was glad she could understand her as it meant that she could talk to someone other than Rachel. Rachel saw Brittany's face light up at Santana's reply and she could see how happy that made her. Santana had made quite the impression on her.

"So coming away from that, Brittany also has Haphephobia and by the look on Sam's face I will have to explain it a bit more." Rachel explained whilst taking her gaze away from Sam. "It's the technical term for the fear of being touched. Not one person has touched her since she was seven years old."

Brittany watched everyone's reactions expecting them to back away or laugh but no one said a word. They all just looked at her smiling in reassurance which was something she definitely hasn't expecting to happen. She was expecting backing away and laughing but smiling was definitely not something she had expected. Brittany was in her own little world thinking about the way they were treating her and accepting her that she hadn't been listening to the conversation. She had never been accepted like this by anyone before. Even her parents acted weird around her as though they didn't know what to do or say. A jolt of excitement went through her since she now knew she had people looking out for her and it was an amazing feeling.

Santana couldn't help but look at Brittany and her facial expressions. When they had smiled at her she obviously felt accepted. It was obvious to her that Brittany's past wasn't the best and she couldn't help but want to know more and help her. Yes, she had been a bit shocked about the fact that she had a fear of being touched and that she didn't speak but why would that change how she thought about her? By just looking at her she could tell that this girl was sweet, innocent and carefree. Santana thought that more people should be like that. The world would definitely be a happier place to live in. As she looked at Brittany she could tell how scared and nervous she was and her fake smile was put on to keep Rachel at bay. Everyone was like it on their first day and Santana could tell that Rachel was rather protective over her. Who could blame her? Anyone who was best friends with Brittany should protect her because she was the type of person who you would want to protect. It wasn't like she couldn't defend herself or anything but it was more of the fact that she didn't look like the fighter type.

Santana had to admit that Brittany was incredibly pretty and her eyes were such a gorgeous shade of blue. Yeah she thought that after the first meeting but who cares? Got a problem with it then take it up with someone who gives a crap. She never cared what people thought of her as there were bigger and more interesting things to think about. Santana had never been that into boys. Whenever she saw a boy and a girl together she thought it was a little weird but when she watched Buffy and she saw Willow and Tara together, she couldn't help but be interested by it. She had started to notice in her Sophmore year that she was attracted to girls but she hid it by dating boys even though she hated it. but it was the only way to keep her secret hidden. So now she was in her Junior year and she was officially an out and proud lesbian. She had stopped dating boys just for the fact that she had a secret she wanted to hide and came out of the closet. No one ever made fun of her though as people were always scared of her as she was generally a scary person to everyone, so no one dared say a word to her.

Brittany couldn't help but look at Santana. Her skin looked so soft and smooth and she had the perfect skin tone. She noticed that she had a sort of glow about her that she couldn't put her finger on, but it made her even more beautiful. She saw her hair earlier when she was walking to them with Rachel but up close it was gorgeous. It flowed perfectly down her back and she loved it. As Brittany looked at her hair, her eyes started to move down her body. She was obviously part of some sort of squad at school because she was wearing the uniform for it and by god, it showed her curves perfectly. If this didn't show she was a unicorn then she didn't know what would. Brittany had to admit that Santana definitely looked hot in her uniform. It wasn't her fault for thinking that though as she probably has been with a ton of different boys. I mean who wouldn't want to date her? She would even date her if she could.

" _Woah, hold on a second! Did you really just think that?_ " Brittany asked herself in her head. " _Slow down a bit Brittany!_ "

She decided to look around at everyone else to make it seem like she was interested in the conversation instead of just ignoring everyone and just looking at Santana. She looked at Santana to see her smirking. Damn, she had seen her looking at her. She never could do that without the other person noticing. Well seeing as this is the first time this has happened where she has actually been close enough to a girl to see how hot she is up close, she hasn't got much to compare with. Right back to listening to the conversation instead of thinking of the gorgeous Latina.

"Anyway Britt I just remembered I have to talk to Coach about something so I can't take you to Principle Figgins office." Rachel explained turning to look at her.

Brittany couldn't help but be a little upset about this since that meant finding it by herself and most likely getting lost. She always did get lost no matter where she went. "But I'm sure Santana wouldn't mind taking you Britt." Brittany's heart started beating faster. Spending time alone with the Latina? Sounds perfect. Well apart from the fact that it could be embarrassing since she had seen her staring. She just had to hope that she wouldn't say anything.

"I would love to." Santana responded honestly. Brittany noticed her smile at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Great! So I'll see you later on. Good luck Britt. Text me if you need me." Rachel said giving Quinn a kiss goodbye before walking away down the corridor.

Brittany felt weird without Rachel here as these were her friends and she felt nervous since she was surrounded with different people. Brittany was quite nervous. Did the Principle even know about her problems? It was going to be difficult to explain if he didn't. She knew she'd need extra help with her work, even though she didn't want any, but without it she would fail. She didn't have to tell anyone anyway. Brittany watched as Santana said goodbye to her friends then they walked down the corridor together. They made their way towards the Principal's office and Brittany couldn't help but worry about what was going to happen. She didn't talk which meant that Santana would be translating what she says as she doubts the Principal would understand sign language. Not many people did, which was stupid in her opinion. What if a future president couldn't talk? Then only a few people in the world would understand them.

xxxxxxxxxx

They arrived at the Principal's office. It wasn't a large room, but it wasn't small either. The problem that Brittany had with it was that since it was surrounded by glass anyone could look in. Why have a Principal's office if you can see inside? Isn't it meant to be a private meeting place? They walked into the room and were asked to sit opposite him in the two chairs on the other side of the desk to him.

"So Miss Pierce, welcome to McKinley High. I am Principal Figgins the Principal of the school, so if you have any problems then come and find me and we will do our best to sort it out for you." Figgins greeted with a friendly smile.

Brittany smiled back to be polite. Why should she come to him about anything? It won't get sorted anyway as it never does. It happened at her old school and she knew it would be the same thing here. The amount of times she went to the Principal at her last school about bullying and getting told that they couldn't do anything without proof was unbelievable. After going through that once she wasn't going to go through it again. She was just going to keep to herself so no one gets bothered. Brittany decided to nod to show that she was listening. She waited as the Principal got a piece of paper pushing it in front of her.

"Here is your timetable." Figgins stated handing it to her. Brittany looked at it confused. She couldn't see a slot anywhere on it for her extra help which she did need due to her learning difficulties. Principal Figgins saw the confusion on her face. "Miss Pierce, is there a problem with your timetable?"

Brittany nodded. How can they not know about her Dyslexia? Unless her mom forgot to mention it on the application form but she's pretty sure she did put it down and her mom is the one who wants her having the extra help. She tried going to class without the help there and she fell behind so quickly since she couldn't keep up. She can't read without getting frustrated so because of that, she falls behind quickly.

"Well what is it? I can't help you if you don't tell me." Principal Figgins asked looking at her waiting for a reply.

"She doesn't speak." Santana says annoyed. Brittany was grateful to have someone with her, otherwise it would take twice as long. Brittany thought the school would know about the no speaking. "Britt, how about you sign and I'll tell him what you are saying?"

Brittany nods for a second time. She had to admit that it was a great idea since she was the only person apart from Rachel that understands her. Brittany began signing.

" _Yes, there is a problem. There is no slot on my timetable for the extra help I need with my school work. You should know already that I have a severe case of Dyslexia and I'm pretty sure mom wrote it down on the application form. I'll fall behind within a day without it._ "

Santana repeated to Principal Figgins what Brittany was saying and was quite surprised. She wouldn't know by just looking at her that she had learning difficulties. Well with most people you can't tell anyway. Principal Figgins nodded and wrote down something on a piece of paper. Brittany knew it was something to do with finding someone to give her extra help with her work even though he should have gotten that sorted already. She was going to have to go through the day struggling now.

"Okay, thank you for pointing that out. We'll sort that for you." Figgins assured looking back up at Brittany. "Just get yourself to home room and it will be all sorted by the time it's over."

" _But what about having someone in lessons with me? Won't I need that since I don't talk?_ " Brittany asked curiously listening to Santana tell him what she said. How could she talk to the teacher if she wants help when she doesn't talk? That's like telling a penguin to fly when it can't. It was impossible. Well, she uses sign language to communicate with specific people but obviously not everyone knows sign language. It makes it harder to communicate with people.

"Well, Miss Lopez is in all your classes today," Figgins observed looking at her timetable. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind telling the teachers what you are saying since she understands sign language."

Brittany shook her head instantly. She wasn't going to put that on Santana. It's bad enough that she is here with her now having to translate what she is saying, but to do that throughout the day was a completely different story. She probably has her own work to do without adding to it. Plus Santana was a cheerleader so she's probably just wants to go to lesson and learn. There was no chance she was letting Santana do that for her.

" _No. Santana has got other stuff to worry about without having to translate what I'm saying to the teachers!_ " Brittany exclaimed shocked he would even suggest adding that to her agenda. " _I'll just not talk in lessons; its fine._ "

Santana repeated what Brittany was saying to the Principal and why it was a bad idea. She was rather touched at the gesture since she obviously thought of her before herself which was sweet. She even told him she wouldn't talk in lessons just to keep off her back, but it really wasn't any trouble helping her so she didn't see the problem. It wasn't like she would be putting any pressure on her or anything.

"Brittany, its fine. I don't mind doing that for you." Santana told her honestly."You need help in lessons so I can be that help for you. I honestly don't mind."

Brittany smiled. She was glad that she had someone like Santana to help her just like Rachel did. She might be doing it because of Rachel but it was still nice of her to offer. She would argue but the way she saw the brunette she would argue back so there was no point in even trying.

" _Thank you, Santana._ " Brittany signed and saw Santana smile.

"Right, now that's settled you should both get yourselves to home room." Figgins stated standing up after looking at the time. "Have a wonderful day and I hope you like it here, Miss Pierce."

Brittany knew this place had to be better than her old school and was definitely sure of that by only being here half an hour. She left the office with Santana and noticed that no students were about. It was weird so she looked at Santana confused. "

Oh, everyone will be at home room now." Santana answered in reply to Brittany's facial expression. Santana took Brittany's timetable and looked at it then Brittany saw her grin. "You are actually in my home room so I can take you there. Just like Principal Figgins mentioned earlier I'm actually in all of your lessons today, so you get to spend the whole day with me. Lucky you, eh?"

Brittany was actually very happy that she got to spend the day with Santana since it meant that she got to know her better. Plus she had to be better than her friend from her previous school who just left her when they felt like it. She wanted to know her as she was drawn to the girl for some reason and she had no idea why. She knew she would find out at some point.

"Come on, we should get going. We're already late as it is." Santana told her as they walked towards home room.

Brittany had to admit that things were starting to look better for her and if Santana was there to help, then that was even better.


	3. Chapter 3

Brittany knew that McKinley was different to her last school instantly. For example, it was bigger so there were more students. Of course that worried her, but just because there were more people didn't mean they were all going to be mean. Well she hoped so since remembered that at least half of the people at her last school hated her which didn't matter since she wasn't fond of them either. They were mean and she never got along with those types of people seeing as she got bullied by them, so she only got along with people who were nice to her. People who were nice got the same treatment that they treated her and people like that she knew wouldn't laugh at her for who she was. It wasn't even her fault that she was the way she is now so they were making fun of her for something that wasn't up to her. She knew that if she saw anyone being mean at this school or anywhere she would avoid so that she could avoid trouble with them. She didn't want to get in the way of any footballers, unless it was Rachel or Sam, as well as the cheerleaders, unless it's Quinn or Santana. It was their school after all so she would be doing herself a favour to stay out of their way.

She was going towards home room at the moment since it was the first thing on her timetable. She was walking with Santana and they weren't really rushing there either. Santana told her that there was no point in rushing if they were already late, which was a very true point. She hadn't met any other students yet and she didn't particularly want to either so keeping a distance between them and her was the best thing to do. She knew one person would come up to her and try touching her which wouldn't end well even if someone was there to help. It wasn't anything personal to anyone but she couldn't handle people touching her. It freaked her out and Rachel understood that which is why she kept people from touching her when they go to town and has a go at people who bump into her. She understands her. Since Santana knew about it she would probably do the same thing but Brittany couldn't be sure as she hadn't even known her a day. She was only doing it for Rachel right? Or was she doing it because she wants to? She was definitely going to ask her at some point.

"Well here we are." Santana announced stopping at a door. "Just stick with me and don't talk to anyone you think is going to give you a hard time. Not that it will be a problem, but you get the picture."

Brittany nodded and followed Santana into the classroom. When she walked in she saw how crowded it was. Brittany knew that there must be at least thirty people in the room which was definitely too many people for one room. Could this room even sit thirty students? Probably not but it wasn't like she could do anything about it. She wasn't the Principal of the school. Brittany watched as the teacher came over to them. She was smiling which made Brittany feel a little more welcome.

"Good morning girls" the teacher greeted. Brittany was surprised that the teacher looked as happy since she was in a classroom like this. She knew she'd be going mad if it was her. She turned towards her. "You must be Brittany. My name is Mrs Allen and I'm your home room teacher. If you have any questions then I'd be happy to answer them."

Brittany nodded and smiled. It wasn't like she couldn't reply much to that anyway. Everyone was looking her way and it was very unnerving. It was the reason she hated being new so much. She felt like she was on display and everyone was having a good look at her. She always felt like it was rude to stare so she never stared at anyone but that was obviously different for these people. She turned to Santana and Mrs Allen listening as Santana told her about her not speaking and that she would stay behind with Brittany if she had any questions and she'd translate for her. She agreed to that then they both sat down next to an Asian boy who Santana obviously knew.

"Hey Santana!" The Asian greeted smiling at her. "Good Christmas?"

"Yeah it was alright thanks Mike." Santana replied turning her head to look at him. "Had abuela come over and yet again, she blanked me for my sexuality. Thought she'd be over it by now but obviously not."

Brittany listened as she spoke to this Mike guy. She had told him that her abuela, whoever that was, ignored her for her sexuality. Did that mean that Santana was a unicorn like her? It would be great if she was then she would finally feel at peace knowing she wasn't by herself in this situation. She had heard about Kurt from Rachel and he sounded like the biggest unicorn of them all, but she had never met him so she didn't know him which sucked as it would be nice to know someone who understands. Of course Rachel does, but she wanted someone different from Rachel to understand what she goes through.

As classes went, home room was boring. By the looks of it by sitting here for a few minutes all they did was sit and listen whilst the teacher told everyone the announcements that they needed to know. She got the class to be quiet for the announcements but that was about it until everyone began talking amongst themselves again. Why the teacher decided to become one at a high school confused Brittany as she didn't understand why they would put themselves through that.

"What you thinking about?" Santana asked interrupting her thoughts. "You seem deep in thought."

" _I just don't get why teachers become high school teachers._ " Brittany signed turning towards Santana. " _I mean why put yourself through that?_ "

"Because they're idiots." Santana replied grinning and Brittany couldn't help but grin back. "As they say, those who can't do, teach. So obviously their dreams didn't happen or they just didn't have a dream to begin with. Sad really."

Brittany nodded in agreement. It was sad how probably most teachers dreams didn't happen and now they were stuck at places like this. Who would want that? It definitely wasn't something she thought about doing in her twenties. She looked around the room at all the different types of people. There were jocks, cheerleaders, geeks then there were people who were generally quiet and kept to themselves. She didn't blame them in a classroom this size. I mean Brittany guessed that she could be considered one of the quiet ones seeing as she didn't talk. Did she not count as part of that group as she talked to Rachel and Santana even though it was through sign language? It was still talking though so she guessed it counted even though it wasn't talking with her lips.

"Alright everyone." Mrs Allen began as the lesson came to an end. "Have a good day and don't cause too much trouble. I'm talking to you Puckerman."

"I resent that miss!" Brittany saw the boy argue back with a smirk on his face. She noticed he had a Mohawk on his head which was definitely different from the hairstyles you usually see around Ohio. "I'm a very good boy!"

"In your dreams, Puckerman." Santana said smirking at the boy.

Santana obviously knew him and got on well enough to joke around with him. Wasn't he the type of person she told her to stay away from? It was confusing but she wasn't going to argue with her as for one she didn't want to and secondly she knew him better than she did so she couldn't judge him. He could be a nice person for all she knew but just not someone she would willingly hang around with.

Brittany gathered her things together, picked her bag up and left the classroom with everyone else. She kept away from big groups of people leaving then left the room alone. She thought that it was probably best to leave Santana to talk to him so they could catch up as she obviously hadn't seen him over Christmas so they would want to talk. Brittany couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Puckerman. He had known her longer than she had so he would obviously know her better than she did. Why would Santana want to know someone like her anyway? She didn't talk and she couldn't have anyone touch her. If she could go back to the day that changed her life for the worst and change it then she would, but unfortunately she couldn't do that. Brittany sighed and got her timetable out seeing what she had next. She looked at her timetable and saw that she had Maths in room 210 next. She looked at the room numbers on the floor she was on currently and noticed that they all had a number one at the start so the room she needed would be on the first floor, not the ground floor. Now just to find that room.

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Brittany finally made it to the floor she was supposed to be on. She walked through a door once she walked up the stairs and looked around seeing room 213 which meant that her room must be close by. Brittany hated finding rooms by herself because she usually got lost but today must be a good day as she hadn't gotten lost yet. There was definitely someone watching over her today and she couldn't thank them enough for that. Brittany walked to the room she would be in for Maths then walked inside. She noticed that not many people were here yet so she decided to sit down at the back of the classroom by herself and get her things out ready for the lesson. She wasn't going to bother anyone so she decided on sitting by herself. At least Santana wouldn't have to put up with her and she could concentrate on her own work.

Brittany had just finished getting her things out when a teacher walked towards her. She had brown eyes and brown hair that fell below her shoulders which was really straight. She was also quite tall as well. The clothes she was wearing were quite casual for a teacher and she also looked quite young. She was wearing jeans and a nice top along with a beige cardigan. She also wore a pair of red converses with her outfit. Were teachers even allowed to dress like that in school? The teacher smiled at her then walked towards her stopping in front of her desk. Brittany looked at her confused as to who this woman was.

"Hi there. You're Brittany right?" She asked looking at her name on her timetable. Brittany nodded in reply to her question whilst fiddling with her pen. She didn't know why this woman was talking to her but she seemed really nice and if she was her teacher then she was glad she had come to talk to her before class started. She hated being singled out and introduced to everyone since the class would stare at her like she was an alien or something.

"How about I introduce myself before you think I'm some sort of weirdo? My name is Sadie Holmes." The teacher introduced smiling. She sat down beside her so she was now at the same level as her. It was much easier to look at her whilst she spoke this way. "I wanted to introduce myself now before you come and see me after lesson. I'm the person you are going to see for help with your school work to help you understand things a bit better since, as I got told, you have Dyslexia."

Brittany nodded smiling. Principal Figgins hadn't been joking when he said he'd get it sorted by the time home room finished. She was quite impressed to say the least that her teacher had come to see her before her lesson. She got nervous around new people but she seemed nice enough. Sadie started speaking again so she got snapped out of her thoughts.

"We will have a lesson everyday when you have a free period. I'm part of the Special Education Needs Department in this school and I don't want you to be ashamed about your condition. You are special Brittany, okay? And since you have a free period next, today's session will be after this lesson. Is that okay?"

Brittany nodded again and she watched as Sadie wrote down in the free periods she had that she would have a session with her instead. She needed as much help as possible anyway so this would help a lot. It was better than struggling at home and not being able to do it at all. She had done that before and she hated it because it took her ages to do one piece of work.

"I also want you to know that I know sign language so we'll be able to communicate with one another." Sadie told her handing her timetable back to her. "I know I am a bit younger than most teachers, but that way I understand you more. I want you to see me as a person you can trust and a friend that's here to help you learn."

Brittany nodded in agreement and started signing to her happy that she'd be able to talk to her.

" _What room do I meet you in?_ "

"The room we'll be in is room 105 which is downstairs near the library." Sadie stated standing up. "I have to go as you have lesson, but I'll see you after your lesson anyway."

Brittany smiled and nodded. She looked towards the door the exact moment that Santana walked in. She looked towards her and smiled then walked towards her sitting down. Santana looked at Sadie confused as to who she was since she hadn't seen her before and now she was talking to Brittany. It didn't seem right to her.

"Excuse me but who are you? And why are you talking to Brittany?" Santana asked confronting her. She didn't do well with new people and Brittany was the only exception of that.

"Oh my name is Sadie Holmes and I'm Brittany's teacher to help with her work." Sadie explained. "I'll help her with any work she struggles with in lessons and I'll also be someone she can confine in. I know sign language so it won't be a problem to understand her."

" _Sadie, this is Santana. She's my new friend!_ " Brittany signed excitedly. She couldn't help being excited about the fact that she had someone like Santana to call a friend.

"Is she really? Well you can tell me all about her after lesson alright?" The teacher reasoned with her and Brittany nodded in agreement. "Well I have to go. Don't stress yourself out if you can't do something. We'll do any work you can't do after lesson. Don't forget to enjoy it too. Learning can be fun."

Sadie winked at her playfully and walked out of the classroom leaving Brittany with Santana. She didn't mind because she trusted her enough to sit by her in lesson. Plus she might be able to stop her stressing out if she can't do something. Whenever she got stressed with school work she would stop doing it as that was the only solution she could think of that was reasonable. Santana turned to Brittany after watching the teacher walk away. What kind of teacher winks at a student?

"Sorry about not walking you here," Santana apologised looking down then back up. "I just got talking and before I knew it, you were gone."

" _It's okay. You looked like you needed a catch up with him._ " Brittany said smiling showing her that she wasn't angry. " _You just got back from your Christmas break after all._ "

Santana nodded. "Yeah exactly. I guess I missed him. Well I missed everyone really. It was lonely this Christmas."

Brittany looked at the brunette surprised. How could someone feel lonely at Christmas? It was like impossible seeing as it was such a joyous occasion. Even with parents like hers that always worked she never felt lonely since they were home for Christmas. Her dad even had time for her instead of working. It was pretty special for her and they always gave her loads of presents to say sorry for working so much and hardly being around. She hardly saw her parents since they were always working and even in the evenings they always went to their studies and didn't like being disturbed. It was a little upsetting but she dealt with it. Brittany knew that they worked so much to avoid talking to her since they couldn't. They didn't know sign language and ever since she became like this, they never even tried talking to her. They just left notes for her to read when they weren't there even though they knew she had Dyslexia but they always made them as simple as possible. So how Santana was lonely on Christmas was weird to her but she didn't ask since it wasn't any of her business.

" _I'm sorry that you are lonely on Christmas._ " Brittany sympathised to her in understanding. " _I'm lonely a lot, so I know the feeling._ "

"Why are you lonely?" Santana asked her. Brittany didn't like talking about it that much but Santana did understand what she was going through.

" _My parents are never home._ " Brittany began looking up at Santana. " _They work all the time and when they are home they still continue to work. I think it's their way of avoiding talking to me since they know they can't. They don't even try but I'm used to it I guess._ "

She looked down at her notebook to avoid Santana's gaze as she knew it would be a look of sympathy in her eyes. She didn't need people feeling sorry for her and she didn't want that.

"You shouldn't be used to it," Santana said looking at the blonde, "so if they don't want to see you then it's their loss. They are missing out."

Brittany smiled. She heard a door open and close and watched the teacher come in getting his stuff together. For the first time today, it felt like a good day.

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Brittany got through the first few lessons with ease. Her lesson with Sadie turned out to be a lot of fun and she actually enjoyed herself without feeling like it was a lesson. She knew she was going to enjoy her lessons more than anyone else's. The last lesson before lunch had been History and it turned out to be quite an interesting lesson. They were currently learning about the Second World War and she found herself interested in what the teacher was saying. Now it was lunch and she got to spend it with her two favourite people.

"So how has your morning been Britt?" Rachel asked her whilst tucking into a Veggie burger. Yes, Rachel was a vegetarian.

" _It's been fun._ " Brittany signed smiling at Rachel. " _Maths was a struggle but Sadie, the teacher who I have to help me with my work, helped me understand it better. You'll have to meet her. She's amazing! And in History I actually found myself interested in what we are learning._ " 

"That's great Britt! I'm happy that you're settling in." Rachel told her smiling.

Brittany nodded and finished her lunch. She decided that taking a walk around the school by herself whilst everyone was at lunch was a good idea so she said bye to Rachel and Santana then set off out of the cafeteria. She walked down the corridor looking at room numbers when a room caught her eye. The room had chairs and a piano along with floor space which looked like a performing area. Brittany slowly walked inside the room noticing it was empty and had a look around. The chairs were all together facing the whiteboard and the piano. There was a cabinet near the door which seemed to have a couple of trophies in them. They were only small but anything is better than nothing, right? Brittany walked towards the cabinet and saw that one trophy read '1st Place Sectionals' and the other one read '1st Place Regionals.' What did they even mean?

Brittany walked to the middle of the room putting her bag down on the floor. She got her iPod out of her bag putting her earphones into her ears turning her music on. One thing Brittany loved was dancing but she hadn't danced in front of anyone in a long time since she always did it privately. Brittany started to dance once the music started playing just letting the music move her. Brittany was so into it that she didn't notice someone watching her with a smile on their face.


	4. Chapter 4

Brittany didn't know how long she had been dancing for, nor did she care. She loved dancing because it allowed her to let loose a little without worrying about anything. She had been dancing for most of her life which is why she loved it so much. She knew that if she was going to have any career in the future it would have to be a dancer, but she had other careers in mind too such as a police officer, for a reason she didn't want to share yet, or a detective, also for reasons she didn't want to share yet. She wasn't that good at schoolwork anyway but she did try her best. Plus since she had a passion for it she knew she wouldn't get bored of it. But before any of that happens she needed to graduate which was quite unlikely at the moment. She was so unfocused in lessons since she didn't understand what the teacher was on about. She didn't get why she even needed to learn stuff like History. It all happened in the past so why learn about it now? Pointless! But she had to admit, she did find it interesting.

The song on Brittany's iPod finished so she took her earphones out. After the morning she had, she needed to let off some steam. Brittany looked towards the door and saw Santana leaning against the door frame with her arms folded. She had a smile on her face which made Brittany smile back as she walked into the room. She couldn't help herself. Whilst Santana walked into the choir room she didn't seem as interested in her surroundings as she had been but she had probably been here a million times before.

"You can really move Britt. That dance was amazing!" Santana exclaimed grinning. Brittany couldn't help but blush at the complement. She never got compliments off anyone apart from Rachel so she wasn't used to it. She looked up at Santana.

" _Thank you._ "

Brittany turned and wrapped her iPod up putting it back into her bag. Not like she needed it right now anyway and she didn't want anyone stealing it. She turned back around to Santana.

"You have a real talent Britt." Santana told Brittany sitting down on one of the seats near where Brittany was. "Do you want to be a dancer when you graduate?"

" _It's one of the options yes._ " Brittany replied sitting down beside her. " _But that's not for a while yet so I don't need to think about it right now._ "

Santana nodded and watched as Brittany looked around the room. She had been in this room many times so nothing was new to her or anything but Brittany obviously found it a new and exciting place. She smiled as she watched her. Brittany was a very beautiful girl but behind that she could tell she hid her pain and no one noticed. She knew Rachel would know but that's different since they are best friends. Brittany's dancing was something special and she couldn't keep her eyes off her as she did. It was so graceful and perfect just like her and the way she moved was just breathtaking. She had never seen anyone dance like that before. The only person she knew who loved dancing was Mike and she only knew that as she was in Glee Club with him. Maybe she could convince Brittany to join before one of the other gleeks asked her. She didn't want anyone scaring her.

"So you like dancing right?" Santana asked and she saw Brittany nod. "Well how would you like to join Glee Club? It's a club where we sing and dance. I think you'd love it."

Brittany looked at Santana interested. She did love dancing after all but she never danced in front of people. She didn't like anyone commenting on her dancing as she couldn't take criticism very well. It's why she danced alone so no one could comment on the dancing she was doing so she didn't get judged. Maybe Glee Club would be good for her.

" _Can I think about it?_ "

Santana smiled at her. At least she was considering it which was the main thing. "Of course. You think about it then let me know, okay?"

Brittany knew it would be nice to dance somewhere other than her room after all. Her room was great but there wasn't a lot of space to dance. Well the living room was pretty big but her dancing was usually private so she didn't want to risk someone walking in. She turned to see Santana looking at her with a smile on her face. Brittany thought her smile was beautiful. She knew that if she could she would look at her smile all day but that wasn't possible without her looking like a weirdo or something. She stood up picking her bag up off the floor.

"Let's go."

Smiling, Brittany followed the Latina out of the choir room. This was definitely the best day so far.

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Brittany walked into her house after finishing school. For a first day it had been pretty awesome. To say she had made at least one friend was better than no one. She walked into the kitchen grabbing an apple then walked upstairs to her bedroom. Her parents never bothered her in her room, saying that they never did bother to talk to her anymore. She didn't blame them though as they had given up trying since they couldn't get her to talk. They always did prefer her brother. His name was Zack and they were quite close for a brother and sister but unfortunately once he died Brittany grieved worse than anyone else and it resulted in her decision to stop talking altogether. But to add to that, his death wasn't exactly the nicest death so she had to refrain from thinking about it or else she'd get upset. Her parents had tried everything to get her to talk to them but nothing worked, so they just gave up altogether. They didn't even bother to try and learn sign language when she did so they only communicated through written notes and they were only every once in a while. It was one thing that annoyed her about them. They had given up caring about her so now she had to fend for herself. Brittany sighed and decided to get on with the homework she got today to get her mind off it.

A few hours later Brittany heard a knock at the door. She wasn't expecting anyone so who would be visiting? She walked downstairs and opened the door to find Rachel stood there with dots and a big bag of Doritos in her hands. She always knew what to do after having a long and tiring day.

"I thought we could sit and watch The L Word whilst eating junk food." Rachel suggested smiling at her. "What do you think?"

Brittany nodded letting her best friend in. She loved nights with Rachel as they were always so much fun. She joined Rachel in the living room whilst she set up the DVD player. She sat down on the couch getting comfy then once Rachel had set it up, she joined her. She always had Rachel when her parents were away to keep her company. She hated being alone in the house in case she got robbed and then no one was there to help her so she always made sure Rachel stayed with her until she fell asleep. It might be childish but it could happen!

"So how was your first day?" Rachel asked opening the bag of Doritos. Hell yes, she even got her favorite flavor!

" _It was good. Santana helped me around school today which was nice of her._ " Brittany explained whilst eating some Doritos in the process. " _She even turned up when I was dancing after I left you guys at lunch._ "

"Yeah she does tend to turn up when you least expect her to," Rachel told her laughing, "but I can't believe she caught you dancing. You only ever do that in private."

" _I know but I didn't notice her or else I would have stopped. She asked me to join Glee Club earlier too._ "

Rachel looked at her curiously. Brittany had been different since the incident that happened when they were young and even though she stopped talking, she never left her side. She wasn't going to let anyone pick on her for being different. It was what made her special and unique. Yes, Brittany is gay like her and she likes to watch Disney movies and likes unicorns and all things magical, but it's what she loved about her. She always looked so happy even when things were getting bad for her. She had seen Brittany cry before and it was literally heartbreaking. She always made sure to look after her since her parents never bothered with her. But as she watched her talk about Santana she saw a glint in her eyes she had never seen before. She actually looked happy and excited to have met someone new. Rachel knew Santana was one person Brittany might get close to. She had to warn Santana about that since she didn't want her getting into something she might want to get into.

"Did she really? What did you say?"

" _I said I'd think about it. I mean I've never danced in front of anyone willingly but it could help me._ " Brittany explained to Rachel. She knew it could help her but it did scare her that she would be doing something completely different.

"I think it is up to you babe." Rachel told her truthfully. "I mean think about it. You can dance all you like in there and let people know of your talent or you could keep it to yourself. No one will be able to make that decision for you so it's all on you."

Brittany knew Rachel was right, but what did she want to do? Glee Club sounded great but would she be comfortable enough to dance in front of everyone? She definitely knew she wouldn't have the confidence just yet, but maybe with some help she could gain it then join. Brittany thought back to Santana and how she felt when she was with her. Even though she had seen her dance she hadn't gone all shy and not spoken to her like she thought she would have done. No, she smiled and continued talking to her. Maybe Santana could help her.

" _I think I need to just have a think about it first. Settle in and grow my confidence a bit first before joining any club._ " Rachel nodded in agreement. It was the best plan after all. Brittany wasn't the most confident person around and after everything that happened at her previous school, you can understand where she is coming from.

"I totally get it Britt and you're right. Growing your confidence is important and getting to know the school is a start." Rachel told her smiling. "Now enough about Glee Club. Let's get watching The L Word. I missed doing these nights with you over Christmas."

Brittany smiled and nodded. She did miss her whilst she was away as she didn't really talk to her parents and Rachel was the only one she really talked to. Brittany now had an aim for the next few weeks. Grow some confidence to join Glee Club.


	5. Chapter 5

After telling herself that she needed to grow her confidence she thought she could start by trying not to be in the background so much. She decided that since she enjoyed motocross so much she was going to join the team in Lima. Before her brother died he used to come and watch her as she played motocross on the course at the top of Lima when no one else was there. She wasn't a fan of people seeing things she might not be good at, even though she knew she was quite good. She had been playing for years but never gone above doing it alone, so now here she was at the try outs for the motocross team. It was a step beyond her comfort zone but she had to at least try. How were people going to see how good she was if she wasn't going to show anyone? She wanted to change that today.

Brittany stepped out onto the track and looked at it. This is what she would be racing on for her trial. She smiled looking at all of the bumps and turns so she would know what she was up against. She looked it up about the trials so she knew when to turn up. She brought her motorcycle with her to use since it was her favorite and her parents always bought her something expensive at Christmas to make up for not being able to communicate with her, even though she got a lot of other presents alongside that. It's better than nothing, right? Okay, it might not be better than nothing since she wishes she could have parents who tried, but she didn't blame them. She was difficult but she couldn't help that. She was dyslexic and had selective mutism. It was bad though since she didn't even speak to her family. How could she? No one could make her feel better. She saw someone come up to her with a smile on their face. She had got Rachel to phone up for her and request someone who knows sign language to come and greet her. She needed it or she would have no way of communicating.

"Hi there. Brittany right?" He asked and Brittany nodded. "My name is Tom. I'll be here to communicate with through the trial."

" _Thanks. Where do I go?_ "

"Right. Follow me and I'll show you to a tent where you can get changed. Is this your ride?" Tom asked pointing to the motorcycle.

Brittany smiled and nodded. " _It's my present from my parents but for the race I might use one of your bikes as it's not a bike to use for this type of sport._ " Brittany explained signing to Tom. He smiled and nodded and beckoned Brittany to follow him.

She parked her bike locking it up and followed Tom. He seemed like a decent enough man and he was helping her so she can't complain. He was the only one she could talk to since no one else knew sign language. He led Brittany to a tent and pointed to a bike.

"Here you go. That's your bike for today's race. The trial is in five minutes. You get yourself ready. I'll be out here." Tom smiled and walked out. 

Brittany looked around the tent. She had her bike there and her motocross outfit was there. She smiled and got dressed. She looked at her bike and even though it may not be the best, it was something at least. It was red with lightening marks on the side of it. To Brittany, it was decent enough to race in and as long as she won the race, she didn't care what it looked like. Once she was ready to go she got her helmet and bike then pushed it out of the tent. She rolled her bike to the track observing it from afar . She liked to know exactly what route she was supposed to be taking before racing. When she came here with her brother when he was alive she remembered walking around the track so she knew what route she was supposed to be taking so she didn't get lost. Brittany got her bike to the starting her helmet on then started her bike up. She watched the other racer do the same thing. She had been racing for a while now so it wasn't like this would be much of a challenge for her. The other racer next to her turned to look at her.

"Prepared to lose blondie?" He asked smirking. She rolled her eyes and looked ahead looking at the track. She watched as a man came to the side of the starting line.

"Alright you two this is a fair race meaning no trying to hurt one another whilst racing around. Whoever wins this will be joining us on the team and will start training with us. Right ,when you hear the gun go off then you go."

Brittany nodded to the man revving her bike up just wanting to get this race underway.She heard as the other racer did the same thing. She looked ahead and listened for the gun shot. She looked around glad no one else was really around. She heard the gun go off and she shot off down the track. She loved the adrenaline rush she got when racing. It was nothing like she had ever felt before and she loved it. Nothing else could compare to it. She knew the other racer wasn't far behind her so she sped up going around the track. It was quite bumpy and there were jumps she could see as she went around it but she didn't care as she loved racing. She came up to the hill and sped her bike up going up it jumping over the trench below her before she landed on the other side making a tight turn to go down the next part of the track. It was quite muddy too but that didn't bother her. She never cared about getting dirty anyway. She came up to another hill and jumped over that as well. She loved being in the air when on her bike. She had always been pretty good at landing from being in the air.

Brittany hadn't heard the other racer for a while but it didn't matter. She saw the finish line and she drove her bike ahead. She sped up and went over the finish line. It hadn't been a large track at all but she still loved it either way. Brittany smiled and got off her bike taking her helmet off. She watched as the other racer came behind her. She didn't think he looked too happy but that wasn't any of her concern since she had been the one to win the race. Tom walked up to her smiling.

"Brittany that was amazing! How long have you been racing for?"

" _Since I was around 4 or 5 years old probably. I used to go up to a track at the top of Lima._ " Brittany signed to him and he grinned.

"That's great. Instead of being in a team how would you like me to be your agent? I can sort all your races out and contact you when you have a race coming up, as well as training you. What do you say? Plus I understand sign language so I can communicate with you." Tom asked as Brittany got off of her bike. She had never had an agent before and she never thought she would, but it would be easier to have someone who understand what was going on with her so Brittany smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Great. So how about you get out of your motocross gear and we have a chat about what you can get from this? I'll meet you out here."

Brittany nodded again and walked into her tent to get her gear off. She got out of her motocross gear and smiled. She had actually won the race and not only that, but got herself an agent. She didn't really know what that meant but it must be a good thing. She wished her brother could have been there watching her. He always cheered her on when she raced and was always there when she got injured. She thought about the final time she had her brother watch her race.

**July 2003 **

_Brittany was walking up to the top of Lima with her brother Zack. Her parents were pretty lenient on where they went as Lima was a safe town to be in. Their parents were at the bottom of the hill that they went up sat by the lake enjoying the sun. Her parents had decided that a day at the lake would be good for them so now there they were. Her brother had suggested they take their bikes up there and race around the track. Well, she took hers anyway since Zack wasn't a fan of bikes. Her dad had bought her a small version of a motocross bike when she was younger. She had been able to ride it from the age of four so her dad just gave it to her. She was so happy when he did that she went in their garden and rode around in it. It was her brother's idea to come up to the track when they came to the lake as it gave Brittany the chance to race around somewhere that wasn't her back garden. They both got to the track. Brittany got her helmet on and was about to go when Zack spoke._

_"Britty?" Brittany looked towards her brother._

_"Yeah Zack?"_

_"You know when you become a grown up, you could become this big star who rides a motorcycle like that person you like on telly."_

_Brittany smiled at her brother. "Thanks. I would love to be like that one day. Be this big motocross star. Daddy sits there and watches it on telly and they look so cool."_

_"You know I'll be at every single race cheering you on." Zack tells her grinning._

_"I know you will and then we'll spend the money when I win on something amazing. Like a giant dinosaur!"_

_"That would be so awesome and we can put it in your giant house!"_

_Brittany smiled. She loved when her and her brother spoke about the future. Zack, without a doubt, was her best friend aside from Rachel of course. He knew everything about her and he never judged her. That was what was so great about their relationship. They looked after each other. Their parents worked a lot so they had a babysitter quite often which meant they usually just amused themselves in their room. Brittany always thought they were close as they were twins but she didn't care. They fought obviously like any other brother and sister, but not for long._

_"We'll be twins for life right?" Brittany asked and she saw Zack smile._

_"Don't worry Britty. Nothing will tear us apart. Now get on that bike and show me what you can do!"_

**January 2013**

Brittany smiled at the memory. Zack had been an amazing brother and he was so supportive of everything she did. He was her twin and it had been so hard to show up at his funeral and have people talk about him. She never wanted him to go but she remembered that he told her that nothing will tear them apart and she still believed that. She knew he was in her heart all the time but she just wished he was here with her now. It was hard going about without her twin brother since she had gotten used to him not being here, but that didn't mean she liked it.

Brittany stepped outside the tent looking out for Tom. She saw him leaning against a car looking through his phone. She walked over towards him. She couldn't believe she had an agent already. She knew she was good but she didn't realize she was good enough to have someone like an agent planning everything she did and where she was meant to go for races and training. It would be a lot of fun to her. He looked up from his phone at her and smiles.

"Okay Brittany I won't keep you too long as I'm sure you want to get home." Tom began. "I'll be the person, as you have probably guessed, who is going to be contacting you about training and your races and where you need to be and when. I know it sounds annoying but it won't be too bad." Brittany nodded in understanding whilst he spoke. "After each race you win you'll get money given to you. Don't worry I won't take any of that away from you. It will be all yours and you will also get a trophy."

Brittany smiled to herself. She was going to be getting paid to do something she loved doing and she would also get a trophy to take home with her. She used to watch motocross races with her dad and she always told him that she would be one of those races some day, and now she could show everyone that she was somebody and not just this awkward teenager who didn't speak to anyone and had to use sign language as a form of communication. She was happy now that she had a hobby that she can do outside of school.

"Well that's about everything. Here's my number. I've got yours from your application to try out so I'll let you know when you're first training session will be."

Brittany nods and thanks him then gets her bike and goes home. She never though thought she would have the confidence to do that but she did and she is proud of herself for doing it. Ever since her brother died she had lost the confidence she used to have and no she was starting to get that back again. She needed to really as she wanted to have that confidence to join Glee Club so she could dance in front of others. It was easier at home since no one saw her, but to have people sit and watch her was something completely different, and it was a totally different level for her that she couldn't overcome just yet. She knew she had time, so it was okay.

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At school the next day she was sat in lesson doodling. Sadie had always told her that if she was struggling with something then she shouldn't push herself. Santana was always at hand in lesson to help but sometimes, it was even hard for her to get her to concentrate since her mind acted differently to everyone else's. Sadie told her in her lessons that it wasn't a bad thing but it made her more special as it made her different. She never let Brittany call herself stupid either and it always made her feel good knowing Sadie knew it wasn't her fault. Brittany was called stupid more than once at her previous school and it hurt her a lot knowing people only called her that because they didn't know her. She only ever had one friend at that school since she was the one who needed extra help and to them, it instantly meant she was stupid. No one bothered to try and get to know her, and that included her friend, so everyone stayed away from her. She was glad she moved here now because everyone was nicer. Well not everyone, but the people she had met so far were nice. Brittany saw Santana lean over to her.

"Hey Britt I was wondering...do you...maybe...wanna do something...with me?" Santana asked her hesitantly. Brittany looked at her and noticed she looked nervous. She found it adorable. Brittany smiled and nodded. "Yeah I think that would be cool." Brittany signed smiling.

" _Are we going to your house?_ "

Santana sighed in relief as she agreed. "Yeah we can go to mine but I thought we could go to that new ice cream shop that just opened down town. You like ice cream right?"

Brittany nodded. She loved ice cream. She used to go a lot but then stopped when she started getting bullied at her old school and didn't like to be seen in public alone. She sometimes went with Rachel but not often since she preferred being at home than being in public but she felt like she needed to do this so she agreed. She had to start getting out of her comfort zone.

"Great. So we'll go straight after school. Is that okay?" Santana asked looking at her.

Brittany nodded again. After that was sorted, her and Santana got on with their work together. Well she should probably say she watched Santana do hers and she got notes from Santana to help her in Sadie's extra lesson later on so she knew what she was helping her with. Brittany always forgot what they did and the last lesson she had had tried taking notes Sadie didn't understand what she had written and neither did she, so she had asked her to ask Santana for the notes in the end. It didn't bother Santana in the slightest and they both recognized her writing too. Brittany loved watching Santana do her work. She didn't know why and she was surprised Santana hadn't told her to stop staring, but she never did so she just watched her. For someone who was popular she didn't get how she was so good at her work. Most popular students failed school work usually, but not Santana. She admired her for that since she was definitely different. And that was a good thing in Brittany's mind because different was definitely good.


	6. Chapter 6

Brittany and Santana were on their way to the ice cream shop. Brittany was excited as she had been waiting to go there with Santana all day. She didn't know why she liked spending time with her so much, but she wasn't going to question it as she hadn't felt this comfortable with someone that wasn't Rachel before. It was a thrilling experience to her and it might not seem like a big deal, but to her, it was. Brittany noticed Santana looking at her. " _What?_ " "Nothing" Santana shook her head and looked back at the road. Oh yeah, that's a part that she didn't mention. They were driving there in Santana's car. Brittany hadn't been in a car apart from Rachel's either. It was different to hers. Santana's car was red and it had leather seats in it but they were incredibly comfortable. Brittany didn't know why Rachel didn't have seats like these ones. Maybe she should suggest it to her. Yes, she'll put that on her list of things to do. She'll make her get them from the shop. " _Can you even get seats from the shop?_ " Brittany thought to herself. " _Yeah you must do. You can buy anything from a shop._ " Brittany shrugged and looked ahead looking out for the ice cream shop. She already knew what she was going to order as she didn't get anything different.

They walked into the shop with Brittany following behind. She watched Santana closely as she went and ordered. She stood beside her and pointed to what she wanted when Santana asked. She never got anything different since it was part of the fact that she didn't like anything different. It would take a lot for someone to change things for her because new scared her. Rachel had tried changing part of her daily routine at one point but it didn't work so Rachel left it after that. It takes her a while to try new foods too since she likes things that are familiar but even though it does take her longer than other people to try something new, she will eventually do it. She watched Santana pay for the ice cream and went to a table. Brittany followed and sat across from her. She liked to have her own space when sitting down. She was only like this because it meant that there was more chance of someone touching her and she hated that. The last person to touch her was in fact Rachel. It was a few months after her brother died...

**February 2004**

_Brittany was sat by herself at play time. She didn't particularly want to talk to anyone. Not since her brother got murdered. She didn't talk to anyone anymore. Literally. She had stopped talking once she had gone into her brothers room and found him dead and bleeding on his bedroom floor. Her parents had tried taking her to counselors, sitting down with her and asking what was going on and even tried getting Rachel to get her to talk, but nothing worked. Nothing had been the same since he had been gone. She had been distant from everybody. Her teachers were worried about her school work but that wasn't her fault. She had always struggled so it was nothing new to her. Then there was the fact that she couldn't speak to them. She was only seven after all but the teachers were used to her regular bubbly self but the school knew why she was acting the way she was and they understood why she was so distant and unhappy. I mean what person would be the same after finding their brother dead? Unless you are heartless then no one would be the same after. It was heart breaking and just downright horrible. She remembers the blood on the floor surrounding him and how he looked so weak and vulnerable but he was dead so what did she expect really? She didn't know until her parents had told her and she cried all day and was given permission to spend time off school but only for that day. Rachel had been totally understanding about it and knew why she was sad and didn't let anyone bother her. She really was an amazing friend to her. Brittany felt someone sit beside her and knew who it was._

_"Hey B. I got you a banana from the dinner hall. I thought you might be hungry"_

_Brittany looked up looking at the banana and took it. She smiled slightly at Rachel and started eating it. She really did love bananas since they were her favorite fruit which is why she decided to take it. It was the first thing she had eaten all day so she ate it quite quickly. Once it was gone she hugged Rachel tightly burying her face into her friend's neck and let tears fall from her eyes. Rachel hugged her rubbing her back as she did so._

_"It'll be okay Britty. He would want you to be happy. And guess what? I drew you something." Rachel told her happily. She pulled away and picked her picture up giving it to her. "There is me and then you and Zack. We're all playing since we used to do that a lot."_

_Brittany smiled as she looked at it. She was definitely going to save this. It was the first thing that ad made her happy and she couldn't be more thankful to her best friend. She smiled at her. "You're welcome. Now will you play with me?" Brittany nodded and got up going to play with her for the first time in a while._

**January 2013**

"So here's your ice cream. I'm guessing you'll like it as you seem to have gotten it before so."

Santana's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. It wouldn't be the first time someone did that. She wasn't very good when it came to her having flashbacks because she focused more on them than the person or people around her. She really needed to work on that and Rachel had even mentioned her doing it when she has been talking to her. Brittany smiled and nodded tasting the ice cream and... oh my god it tastes good! This is why she always got this ice cream. The ice cream starts at the bottom with rainbow colored ice cream which taste like bubblegum then the next flavor is strawberry with vanilla on top of that. The whipped cream goes on top of the ice cream with rainbow colored sprinkles covering the cream then to top the whole thing off, a wafer is placed in it as well. Let's just say it is a large ice cream but she likes sitting in here eating it. Plus it is very appealing and amazing to look at. Santana was looking at her with an amused look on her face but it was a gentle look all the same.

"I have to say Britt that is some ice cream you have there. Mine is tiny compared to yours"

" _But mine is more awesome than yours so it has to be bigger!_ " Brittany signed to her grinning and eating some more. " _Next time you should get it so you can have an awesome ice cream too!_ " Brittany watched as Santana laughed a little.

"Next time you're telling me what I need to buy." Brittany nodded in agreement eating her ice cream. You would think it would take her a while to eat it but it only took like half an hour at most. Okay that is a long time but she's not a slow eater or anything so it's okay. She took a bite out of the wafer and started dipping it into her ice cream. She loved how the rainbow ice cream was at the bottom as that was her favorite.

"So Britt, tell me about yourself. I know we only met like yesterday but I want to know you better." Santana began whilst she ate her own ice cream. "Or we could ask each other questions. You ask me a question then I'll do the same back. Sound good?"

Brittany nodded and started thinking of a question. Gosh there was loads of things she wanted to know but she had to make sure they were all friendly and not being too nosy into her life as no one likes that. And she didn't want to ask a question that might make it seem like she had a crush on her since she didn't want that either. She was happy secretly crushing on her without anyone knowing as it was always better that way since no one would be able to ask them out for you. She could ask about her family. Might be boring but least it wasn't being too nosy at least. Plus she did want to know about her family and where she came from. She looked at Santana.

" _Do you have any brothers or sisters?_ "

"I do." Santana begun. She wiped her face on the napkin beside her and wiped her hands. "I have a brother called Julian who is twenty. He's in college at the moment so I don't see him that often. He's my only brother but I love him to pieces. He was there for me when I came out as a lesbian and he helped my parents to understand a little better about what I was going through, but they accepted me so I'm happy." Santana finished smiling. "Okay ,so who is the one person you have known the longest apart from your parents as they don't count."

" _Rachel_." Brittany answered without any hesitation. " _She's my best friend and she's helped me through so much. She gets me better than anyone else and if she wasn't with Quinn, I'd totally date her_." She looked up at Santana who's face seemed to drop a little but she couldn't help but laugh at that. " _Just kidding. Rachel has been my friend forever and it'd be weird to date her since I've known her for so long. She's been my friend since I was in kindergarten_."

Santana smiled at her. She had a hunch that it might be Rachel but it was nice of her to hear Brittany laugh and talk about her so honorably. It was obvious to her that Rachel had done a lot for Brittany so she couldn't blame her for talking about her so respectfully. She knew where Brittany came from because she liked Rachel as soon as she met her. Plus she made her best friend happy which is a bonus so to her that was all she needed to see to respect her as a person. Then to add to that when she was struggling with her sexuality Rachel was there for her since she was already open about it and she knows she can talk to Rachel whenever she wants to talk to someone. Yeah so Rachel did mean a lot to her. She just wouldn't admit it to anyone.

" _Okay so it's my turn. What do you like to do in your free time?_ "

"I like to sing actually." Santana admitted having another spoonful of ice cream. "I'm in Glee Club as I told you so people know I like singing but what they don't know is that when I'm at home I sing all the time. I sing in the shower, when doing homework, heck even do it when I'm cooking. My parents don't care though since they're used to it."

Brittany couldn't help but think that it was adorable. She'd love to hear the girl sing as she knew by just looking at her and hearing her voice that she'll have a beautiful singing voice. She wasn't a very good singer herself as she preferred dancing but she did sing in the shower; then again, who doesn't? Probably all of the famous singers like Britney Spears and Michael Jackson...oh wait he's not around anymore. It's so sad to think about him not being around to make more songs. He is the king of pop after all. Well that's what everyone says about him anyway. Not like she paid attention to the news or anything because she usually ended up getting sleepy watching it. But anyway, all these pop stars probably started singing in the shower. She wouldn't be surprised if they still do.

"Do you play any sports?"

" _Well I did cheerleading in Middle School for a bit but that's only because Rachel encouraged me and I have also got back into Motocross again. I tried out for the team here in Lima and I got in so yeah those are my main two things I do. Oh and I enjoy swimming too._ " Brittany smiled eating her ice cream.

"You do motocross? Wow. I never thought by looking at you that you'd be into that." Santana told her surprised at the answer.

Brittany shrugged. " _People seem to think I'm just a dumb blonde so they think I would be a cheerleader but actually its only my dyslexia that stops me from being smart. I enjoy fixing up my motorbike as my dad taught me that so I don't need to go and get it repaired. Saves a lot of time and money_."

"So you do all this in your free time then?" Santana asked curiously wanting to know more. "And you're not dumb Brittany. You're far from it."

" _Thanks San I'm glad you don't think I am and pretty much yeah. I mean I have to study more than the general person without a learning disability but yeah I love swimming and motocross and I also go running too. Anyway it's my turn! You totally asked two questions!_ " Brittany stated pouting. " _You broke the rules!_ "

Santana laughed. This girl was seriously adorable and she didn't say that about many people. "Okay you can ask two then. My bad Britt."

Brittany grinned." _Okay that's fair. So what's your favorite type of movie to watch?_ "

"Horror movies. I love movies such as Scream, Saw, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-"

Brittany interrupted before she could continue." _You like horror movies?! And what is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre about exactly? It sounds scary_ "

Santana grins as she always loves talking about the movie as it was her favorite horror movie. The original is totally better than the remakes which is what makes her love it so much. "Oh god Britt, it's amazing! It's about these five teenagers who are on their way to visit their grandfathers grave but on the way they go past a slaughter house and end up going there for something to eat before they eventually get to the old family home but it happens that they meet a family of cannibals and it all goes bad from there pretty much but it's so amazing and I love it."

Brittany shivers at the thought. She hated horror movies and whenever anyone she was with wanted to watch one she had to convince them not to as she hated them ever since her brother died. Now they just freak her out too much. Plus she prefers nice films where people don't die all the time. Like romantic films for example.

"Sorry Britt, did I scare you?"

She shakes her head. " _No I just don't like horror movies as they freak me out. Whenever my parents watch them when they are at home I go upstairs and turn my music right up. I can't even listen to them._ "

Santana looked at her with sympathy. If she knew how bad she hated them then she wouldn't have even talked about it as she wanted her to be comfortable with her. She wanted to get to know the girl after all. They both sat there and ate their ice cream. Santana mentally kicked herself for making things awkward. She hated awkwardness. It's just so...awkward. Well yeah obviously but you get the picture. She finished her ice cream and was about to try and stop the awkwardness when Brittany signed to her and she couldn't help but smile.

" _Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?_ "

Santana smiled at the comment. She couldn't help herself around her. She just made her happy and that was definitely an emotion she knows she'll be feeling more regularly whilst Brittany was around. She just had this happy aura about her and even though she had obviously had a bad past with the whole not speaking and touching thing, she admired how well she seemed to be doing.

"Interesting." Santana replied smiling. "Well since we've finished do you want me to drop you off at home? I don't mind."

Brittany nodded so they got up and headed back to Santana's car. She had enjoyed spending time with someone who wasn't Rachel. I mean she is an interesting person and she loved her to pieces but she wanted to make a new friend and now she has and Santana was in some of her lessons so it helped since she wouldn't be by herself which usually gave people more reason to bully her. It was one of the reasons why bullying was so bad back at her old school but now she wouldn't have to worry about that so much. Well hopefully.

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Santana arrived at Brittany's house parking outside of it. She didn't want to leave her so soon but she knew her mum didn't like her being back so late. She sometimes wished she could live alone but Brittany does that now by the sounds of it and she doesn't look happy about it, so maybe she should feel privileged about having family to go home to. Not everyone gets that after all. But even if she told someone it would get Brittany's parents into trouble and the last thing she wanted to do was cause any trouble. Plus Rachel would have said something to someone if it was seriously bad, so it's best to just leave it. She stopped the car and turned to face Brittany.

"I had a great time with you. I hope you had fun."

Brittany nodded taking her seatbelt off. " _I did. I'm used to just hanging around with Rachel so having you as my friend is different, but it's a good kind of different if that makes sense._ "

Santana nodded. It made her feel good knowing she was comfortable enough around her to talk to her, well sign to her, so freely as she does and she does know a little bit about her now which is at least something to go on and its better than what she knew about her before."Yeah it makes sense and I'm glad you are hanging around with different people because Rachel might not always be available but I'm here and I won't let you down. Not saying Rach would, but you know what I mean"

" _Thank you for the ice cream. I had a great time._ " Brittany went to open the door then turned back. " _So I'll see you at school tomorrow, right?_ "

"Definitely. I'll be there." Santana nodded and smiled then smirked playfully. "Don't miss me too much will you?"

Brittany laughed a little. " _I'll try my best. I'll see you later._ " Brittany got out of the car and walked up to her house going inside. She smiled as she noticed Santana waiting for her to go on. She waved and closed the door leaning against it feeling a wave of happiness wash over her. Whatever this girl was doing to her, she liked it.


	7. Chapter 7

The past few weeks had been amazing. Brittany had started hanging out with Santana a lot more. Her feelings for the Latina were confusing her but luckily she didn't go on the feelings and decided on just remaining friends with her until she figured her feelings out. Why would Santana like someone like her anyway? She had only started the school a few weeks ago and she couldn't even talk to her. Yes, Santana had been helping her but what good would that do in all honestly? She had still enjoyed Santana's company since it meant that Rachel could spend more time with Quinn. She knew Rachel had been missing time with her girlfriend. It was hard for Rachel to balance her best friend and girlfriend and football and school work but she managed to do it which impressed Brittany. She could never do that. She wasn't good at juggling time with things like that. She'd end up seeing one person more and not the other or that she'd end up missing practice for someone. On a positive note the tutoring she was getting from Sadie was showing to be doing well as her grades weren't terrible which was always something. The only problem she did have was that her parents had returned from their business trip which meant terrible attempts at trying to talk to her even though they knew she couldn't talk.

Brittany was getting ready to go out. Rachel had invited her to a get together with the Glee Club. She was quite nervous as she hadn't really talked to everyone and big crowds creeped her out but it did sound like fun. No harm in going, right? She walked downstairs when she saw her mum and dad talking in the living room. Her eyes widened as she knew this meant they had come home for a reason. Her dad turned to her and smiled.

"Hey Britty. Come and join us for a few minutes. We want to talk to you."

Brittany sat down and looked up at her parents confused. They never wanted to talk to her as they usually just tried to avoid her at all costs and she was fine with that as it avoided situations like this.

"We know we've been bad parents ever since Zack died," Her mom began, looking at her. "but we want to change that. We want to help you as it is obvious that you've not accepted his death yet since you're still not talking."

"So we have been talking and we think that seeing a therapist would help." Her dad suggested smiling.

Brittany looked at him and she didn't understand what they were trying to say. How would a therapist help when she couldn't even talk? She knew it wouldn't help so she found herself shaking her head. Her parents looked at her.

"Brittany you can't get help if you won't allow it." Her mom says to her. "We love you, but you need to want help before we can help you."

As Brittany sat there not responding her dad moved towards her but Brittany backed away not wanting to be touched as she knew that's what her dad was planning on doing. She stood up from the sofa and backed away towards the door.

"Britty, don't be like this."

Before anyone could say another word she ran out the door. She was supposed to meet Rachel in half an hour but she knew she couldn't wait any longer to get out the house. She would just have to arrive early and even though she hated that she didn't want to be in that house any longer with her parents. She needed her best friend.

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She ran to Rachel's house and knocked on the door. She knew Quinn would be there but that didn't bother her right now. She needed Rachel to explain what just happened. She didn't understand why her parents were going to send her to a therapist when she couldn't talk. She needed Rachel to explain why her dad tried to touch her. Her mind was all over the place right now. She looked at the door and saw Rachel open it. She was smiling but her smile dropped when she saw Brittany in a panic.

"Britt? What's happened?" Rachel asked worried."Did something happen at home?"

Brittany nodded and walked past Rachel into her house. She saw Quinn there who was putting her earrings in her ears. She looked really pretty but she was sure that Santana would look prettier. Beautiful in fact. Rachel walked into the house and walked to Brittany looking at her.

"Britt? What's going on?" Rachel asked looking at her, but before Brittany could speak she spoke again. "And I know something is wrong as you are never early."

She did have a point there. " _My parents tried talking to me before I left_." Brittany began knowing Rachel wouldn't drop it until she explained, so it might as well start now. " _And they said they want me to go see a therapist_."

Rachel looked at her. It pissed Rachel off that her parents tried talking to her as she didn't like Brittany's parents at all. One minute they pretend to care and he next they go back to normal. It's happened before and she knew it would probably happen again and she didn't want Brittany getting confused as she knew she was confused right now. And to add to that she was never late to a party so she had to sort this so it wouldn't be suspicious.

"What else happened Britt? You wouldn't freak out over them just telling you to go see a therapist" Rachel asked as she knew Brittany was keeping something else from her.

" _Well after I said no, dad leaned in trying to touch me._ " Brittany admitted looking at her fingers. " _Dad should be able to touch me without me freaking out. I'm his daughter_."

"Hey" Rachel says looking at her. Rachel hated her putting herself down over this. She always had done it as she thought it was her fault but of course it wasn't. Who would like finding their brother dead on the floor? It would make anyone freak out. "This is not your fault okay? Your parents should know by now that you don't like being touched and you haven't since you were little. It's their fault for not trying to help you sooner."

Brittany nodded and looked at her fingers. She saw her fingers were shaking from fright. She shouldn't be scared of her parents but when someone tries touching her, she freaks out and runs. She wished she didn't so she could hug people and feel their body heat and be able to cuddle with someone, but she can't do that. She hates it as she knows she can't be in a real relationship until she does which isn't fun. She watched all the other couples in school holding hands wishing she could do that. She looked up and saw that Quinn had walked into the room. She smiled and waved at her.

"Hey Britt. You feeling better now?" Quinn asked sitting on Rachel's lap. " _God they are too cute!_ " Brittany thought to herself. She smiled and nodded in reply. Quinn was perfect for Rachel beyond belief and she loved how in love they were. You could tell just by the way they looked at one another.

"So now we are all here shall we get going?" Rachel asked standing up holding Quinn's hand. Brittany nodded and followed them to the car.

She thought that to be nice that she'd sit in the back since those two would want to hold hands and she was right. As they drove she watched as the both of them held each other's hands. Rachel was still able to drive though which amazed Brittany. She wished she could drive a car but she couldn't have lessons because of the whole not talking thing. She thought it was discrimination to do that but she knew they had a point. She couldn't just be quiet as she drove around but she also couldn't just let go of the steering wheel so she just gave up wanting to learn. She had her motocross so she was happy and she didn't need to talk for that. She was happy with her motocross as last week she won her first race. She had missed the thrill of doing the sport so she was glad she could get back into it. She needed something that she used to do with her brother to help her. It got her thinking about him and it made her smile. She knew he was watching down on her every time she raced and cheering her on. It's what made her want to win so much. Plus a medal is always nice too.

"So Rachel was telling me you're becoming quite close to Santana." Quinn stated looking back at her. Brittany nodded in reply smiling. She was about to start signing when she remembered that Quinn didn't know sign language. "No it's okay. I know a bit. Rachel has been teaching me."

Brittany smiled and started signing. " _Yes she's a great friend. She came to see me race_."

"Britt she knows that as she was there too. Remember?" Rachel told her smiling.

" _Oh yeah. Anyway yes she is a great friend to me. We hang out a lot and she took me to the aquarium after the race too!_ "

"Britt...me and Quinn were there too."

Brittany looked at Rachel confused. " _Are you sure? I can't remember seeing you there_."

Rachel laughed. "Because you were too focused on Santana to pay any attention to us."

Brittany blushed and looked out the window. She did have that problem around Santana. Someone could have come up to her and start poking her but if Santana was talking to her she wouldn't notice. That does not mean she likes her! She's only a friend. Yeah. Only a friend.

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They arrived at the party and got out the car. This is where her nerves started to come to the surface. She wasn't good with big crowds of people she didn't know as she was always worried someone would do something to her and embarrass her. She also hated being around a large group of people in public. She always got thought in her head about people laughing at her and that something will happen that will embarrass her and everyone will laugh and she hated it, but she couldn't stop it. She had been like that ever since she was little. She never knew what it was so she just thought it was normal for her. But now she had to deal with a group of people Rachel usually hung around with and she knew Santana hung around with them too, but she didn't which made her nervous. She had heard about them as Santana talked about them often and so did Rachel but that doesn't mean she knew them. She knew their names. Well, she thinks she does.

"You ready Britt?" Rachel asked her looking at her. She nodded and followed her inside. Everyone was already there and they looked like they were having fun. She didn't like the crowd of people too much. It scared her a little but then she saw Santana walking up to them. She smiled watching as she came up to her.

"Britt! So glad you could make it." She exclaimed smiling happily. "Hey Q. Hey Rach."

"What? We don't get a greeting like Britt?" Quinn asked smirking.

"As if. I never greet you guys like that."

Brittany watched as the three of them spoke. Okay maybe she was just watching Santana but she made it look like she was watching all of them. She was not going to be one of those creepy people who sat and watched people. She looked around and saw people dancing and drinking and talking to each other. It looked like fun. She never went to parties as she always got self conscious of what people thought about her but now she has friends with her she doesn't have to worry that much.

"So how about we go and get a drink?"

Brittany nodded and followed the girls going to the kitchen with them. This was all new to her. She had never even had an alcoholic drink before but she was sure she would enjoy it. I mean everyone else did it right? She was stood in the kitchen watching as Rachel got them all some drinks. Rachel handed her a bottle with blue liquid in it. It even looked like a blueberry drink which made it totally more awesome. Well unless someone was going to make a rainbow colored drink this would have to do. She drank it and even though it didn't taste of blueberry it still tasted awesome. God she loved it already! She continued drinking when someone pulled it away from her. She pouted and saw Santana smirking.

"Slow down Britt. We don't want you getting drunk just yet." Santana told her laughing as she pouted.

" _Give it back! I'm thirsty!_ " Brittany told her trying to get the drink back but Santana was not giving in.

"Nope. I will keep this for a while. You can still dance but no drinking." Santana stated looking at her. "Okay?"

Brittany sighed and nodded. It sucked but least she got to dance but how was she meant to do that when she didn't like anyone touching her? She wasn't that was the answer. She had to just sit and watch which made the party boring. Maybe she could just go and get another one. Yes that is what she'll do now Santana has gone. She wasn't her mom after all so she walked back into the kitchen and went looking for the drink she had earlier as now she wanted more. She felt like she was having a sugar rush like the one she usually has after eating lots of candy and she always ate more candy to make it worse which was exactly like now. She walked up to the counter when a drink was moved into her face just like the one she had earlier. Her face lit up and she look it grinning. She looked up seeing who it was from and smiled.

"Don't worry about it. You're not a child so you drink how much you want." The boy smiled and walked away.

She smiled and drank sitting on a stool in the kitchen. She smiled enjoying herself. It was her first party and it was pretty good so far. She looked around seeing people making out, dancing and just enjoying themselves. Just like she always wanted her life to be like. Maybe if what happened to her brother hadn't happened she might be one of these people. She smiled to herself taking another sip of her drink before downing it and finishing it. Suddenly her head was buzzing. She thought she would be worried but she couldn't care less. She loved it and she was going to enjoy tonight and forget what happened with her parents if it was the last thing she did.


	8. Chapter 8

Santana Lopez' life was pretty made up for her. Her father was a doctor so he did earn quite a lot of money which meant when she asked, she could pretty much get anything she wanted. Her dad was the reason she would be able to go to a good college when she finishes high school. He pretty much gave her anything she wanted as she was such a daddy's girl. Julian hated that growing up and Santana knew he did. Her brother never failed to mention how spoilt she was and how lucky she was to have a dad who would give her everything she wanted . Santana never believed him and just thought he was jealous as she got all the attention from her dad. It wasn't her fault that her dad didn't speak to her brother as much as he did her, but when he moved to college the arguing stopped and she heard her parents talking to Julian on the phone. Santana knew her dad wasn't happy that her brother decided to go to college on a football scholarship, because in his eyes football wouldn't get Julian a good job in the future. Santana did agree with him in some respect, but she wanted to go to college to sing so she couldn't really talk. As long as Santana could remember she wanted to be a singer since it was the one thing that made her happy, but if her dad found out she would be screwed. She knew it was wrong to keep it a secret, but as long as it made her dad happy then she would at least pretend to be happy too.

Santana was sat in Puck's living room listening to everyone talk about their Christmas holidays, but since she had nothing to say, she decided that she wasn't going to participate in the conversation. She had more important things to worry about than talk about how shit her holidays were. It's not like she even did anything anyway so she had nothing to say. What she was concerned about was how she hadn't seen Brittany in the past half an hour. Yes, it was a large house but that didn't mean she was able to get lost in it. She looked over to see Rachel was making out with Quinn on the sofa. Urgh. Not a sight she wanted to see. Santana decided to get up and search for her since someone had to look after her in a house full of drunken teenagers. Santana walked through the house looking for Brittany. She knew there were many blondes in the school but there was only one person who looked like Brittany. So it couldn't be too hard to find her...right? Santana walked into the garden and saw Sam. She knew Sam was pretty good at being responsible and he wasn't the type to get wasted like everyone else. Santana walked up to him and a girl who happened to look like Tina.

"Hey guys. Sorry to bother you but have you seen Britt?" Santana asked stopping in front of them.

Sam shook his head. "Sorry San I've not seen her. I usually stay out here during these parties and I've not seen any blonde girls walk out here."

Santana sighed running her fingers through her hair. "Alright. Thanks anyway." Santana went to walk off when she heard Tina stuttering.

"I..I think I s..saw a blonde haired g..girl walk into the g..games room about f..five minutes ago."

Santana turned around and smiled. "Thanks Tina."

Tina smiled back and replied. "You're w-welcome."

Santana made her way back inside towards the games room. She didn't know if Brittany was still going to be there but she needed to try. Someone had to look out for her and since she hated people touching her...damn she forgot about that! She knew she panicked when people tried touching her and at a party like this it would make it harder for Brittany to prevent people from touching her. She walked into the games room to see Brittany curled up in the corner rocking slightly. She saw Dave Karofsky laughing so she walked up to him and shoved him into the wall hard. No one messed with Brittany and she was going to make sure they understood that.

"Ow! What the hell Lopez?!" Karofsky asked looking at her angrily.

"Did you touch her?!"

"What has that got to do with you?" Santana saw him smirk so she knew what he had done instantly. She grabbed hold of the front of his letterman jacket and looked him straight in the eye. She could feel the fear radiating off him just by looking in his eyes.

"You listen and you listen good. No one, and I mean no one, touches Brittany." Santana stated glaring at him. "And if I find out one of your football jocks has I will make sure the rest of the year is a living hell for all of you. You got that?"

Karofsky nodded quickly and Santana smiled triumphantly. "Good. Now get out of my sight. And you tell your friends the same thing!"

Santana backed away hearing Karofsky scurry away. She walked over to Brittany kneeling down in front of her. She saw how Brittany was holding her legs to her chest rocking slightly with her face buried in her knees and Santana also noticed how pale she looked. It looked like she had seen a ghost she was so pale. She knew she had to get Brittany out of here so she was able to calm down.

"Brittany? Can you look at me? It's only me, Santana" She calmly spoke to her. She felt protective over her and she wanted to protect her to make sure she was safe. She was such a vulnerable person but after everything she went through she knew Brittany was strong hearted. She watched as Brittany kept rocking shaking her head obviously too scared to move .Santana looked at her and tried again.

"Britt I can get you out of here. I need to so you can calm down. Do you understand?"

Brittany nodded slowly lifting her head to look at Santana. She was just able to sign to Santana from her position " _He...he touched me San._ "

"I know sweetie, but I promise he won't do that again."

Brittany nodded and let Santana guide her. She was the only one she could trust right now, so she needed to work with her to get out of the house so she could calm down and relax. She had no idea where Rachel was but she trusted Santana. Why shouldn't she? She had been hanging out with her and with her crush on the Latina she was kind of glad she was the one to find her. It meant more time with her and that was always a positive. She stood up and looked at Santana. She couldn't help but notice how protective she was of her. She hadn't seen what Santana did to that boy but she heard it and that was enough. She thought it was sweet how she had defended her like that. If she was going to do that every time she knew she was going to like it.

"Come on. Let's get you out of here."

Santana and Brittany both walked together out of the games room towards the front door. Brittany was still shaking slightly as she was in a state of shock, but she still made it through the crowd without anyone bumping into her. She had Santana leading her though so as long as she had her, she knew she was going to be just fine. Well she had Rachel when Santana wasn't around and vice versa. She saw all of the Glee Club and other students from the school drunk but she really didn't see the appeal. She thought she had tried getting that way but when that boy touched her she suddenly got a sober mind again and she freaked out. She tried thinking about her brother at that moment hoping he was looking down on her and when that happened Santana walked into the room. She knew her brother was looking down on her and maybe, just maybe, her brother sent her Santana. To protect her. They both of them finally got out of the house and Brittany went up to a tree and sat down putting her face in her hands trying to calm herself down. All she could feel is his hand on her arm and she hated it. She needed a shower to get that feeling off of her. She hated the feeling of someone touching her because that even freaked her out. She heard footsteps coming towards her then she heard the soothing voice of Santana.

"How you feeling?" Santana asked kneeling down in front of her.

Brittany shrugs. She didn't know how she felt. It was mixed feelings from fear to relief but she didn't really know what to say about it " _I guess I'm still scared but I'm glad you saved me._ " Brittany responded signing the best she could with shaky hands. Santana smiled.

"Well I'll always be here to save you."

Brittany smiled knowing it was true. She couldn't help but stare at the Latina and enjoy the time they had alone but everyone knows it always gets ruined by someone. And this time it was Rachel. Brittany was staring at Santana when she heard Rachel's voice calling her name so she looked up and she saw Rachel running up to her. She couldn't blame her. If she found out this had happened to Rachel she'd be running as fast as a Cheetah to get to her. Well okay, maybe a cheetah is a bit of a hard animal to outrun so maybe just run as fast as she could. That probably sounds more realistic.

"Brittany!" Rachel exclaimed running up to her. "Are you okay? Someone told me you walked out of here and were shaking. I got worried that something might have happened to you."

Brittany nodded starting to sign to her getting more control over her hands. " _Yeah I'm fine. A boy grabbed me earlier and I freaked out. No big deal._ "

"Brittany it is a big deal. I shouldn't have brought you here." Rachel admits looking down. "This would never have happened if we had stayed at home."

Brittany shook her head at this. She knew the night hadn't gone to plan, but she did enjoy herself up to the point where someone did touch her. She got to drink for the first time and she even got invited to go to a party, so the party was a first too. So overall it was a pretty good night but it just ended on a bad note. Rachel looked at Brittany confused. She didn't get what her best friend was getting at. She had been touched which she hated but she didn't wish they had stayed at home. This girl was all kinds of confusing.

"What do you mean Britt-Britt?" Rachel asked curiously.

" _Well if you think about it this way, I don't think we should be focusing on the negatives of tonight._ " Brittany began signing happily now her shaking had decreased. " _I got to drink for the first time, which was awesome, and this was my very first party too. I had fun before that footballer touched me and that's what I'll remember._ "

Santana and Rachel were surprised. Brittany was taking the whole thing rather well given what happened. Rachel had always known Brittany to see the good in things but she had no idea how she was doing that right now but she was glad she was thinking of the positives and not the negatives as it would make her panic more. It was hard being different and being like this but in the same respect being different meant that you didn't need to be popular and fit in. She could be herself without the whole judging part since the friends she had now didn't judge her for being different. Brittany stood up and looked at them.

"You're ready to go I take it?" Rachel asked her for confirmation knowing the answer already. Brittany nodded, so she stood up and went to go get her jacket. Santana stood up too and faced Brittany. She noticed how beautiful she looked. From her blonde hair up tightly in a ponytail to her amazing blue, ocean eyes. If the blonde didn't have this fear of being touched then Santana knew she could be a cheerleader. She had the body for it for one and she knew she would've enjoyed it. She even remembers Brittany saying she was a cheerleader in middle school. Plus Quinn was on the Cheerio's so she could have looked after her. Just as Santana was about to say something Rachel returned with a drunk Quinn.

"Why are you making me leave?! I don't want to leave Rachel!" Quinn snapped at her angrily. "I knew you were jealous of me talking to Puck! Why do you have to be so clingy?! I can have friends you know!"

Brittany looked at Quinn confused. So she was fine earlier, and now she was yelling at Rachel for no reason. How odd was that? They needed to go and Quinn was acting like Rachel had just cheated on her or something . She knew now not to get on Quinn's bad side when she is drinking because she did not want to be accustomed to that. She looked at Santana who leaned in and whispered in her ear about Quinn being an angry drunk. Well that settles it. No going near Quinn when she is drunk. She looked at Rachel who didn't seem to be bothered by what Quinn was saying. She knew though that it was because she was used to it and that she loved her. Seriously, what Rachel did for love.

"Quinn we're going home. Shout at me all you want but it won't change anything. We're still leaving." Rachel told her with a firm voice. "And also I am not a clingy girlfriend since you already took that title."

They all got into the car with Quinn and Rachel in the front seats and Brittany and Santana in the back. Brittany just hoped that her parents weren't at home or they had gone to bed, as she really didn't want to go home to them yelling at her for walking off earlier or something She looked out of the window whilst Rachel drove. She loved how the scenery looked when you were in something like a bus or car and let's not forget a train. Brittany found that by travelling in one of them it makes the world outside look so beautiful, which is why she loved travelling so much. She felt Santana staring at her and she wasn't going to lie, she kind of liked it. She turned her head to the side to find she was right. Yes, it definitely made her stomach turn upside down as she saw Santana smiling.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked, looking at her curiously.

Brittany nodded smiling." _Yeah I was just thinking that's all._ "

"What about?" Santana asked curiously. She had noticed that since Brittany had gotten in the car she had been quiet. Well she knew that she didn't speak out loud so she was generally quiet all the time but she wasn't talking to her at all. Was she just worrying too much? Probably, but it still didn't stop her from asking Brittany what was going on. She'd looked like she had entered her own little world and even though Santana didn't mind that, she preferred her in this world. With her. She noticed Brittany nod.

" _It's just.._ " Brittany began then paused looking down at her hands then began again, " _it's just that my dad tried to touch me earlier on today and I'm worried my parents will be awake when I get home_." Brittany looked back down at her hands not knowing where else to look since she didn't want to look at Santana in case she thought she was being stupid. It wasn't the first time she had been called that. But then she heard her voice so she knew she didn't think any of those things which made her feel a lot better.

"You can stay at mine if you like," Santana offered watching Brittany looking for her reaction, "my parents won't mind and you know I won't."

Brittany smiled. She was hoping she would offer but she didn't want to invite herself to her house as that was rude and she would never do that. She always thought that you should treat people the way you want to be treated and yes this was a different situation, but it still meant the same. She wouldn't want someone inviting them self over to her house, so she doesn't invite herself to her friends houses. She looked at Santana. " _Thank you_."

Santana smiled and nodded secretly excited to be having her over. She'd never let Brittany know that though.

xxxxxxxxxx

Rachel finally arrived at Santana's house. Brittany was impressed as it looked like one of the better parts of Lima which she had never even seen before now. Heck, Santana's parents must be rich to live here. They got out of the car closing the doors behind them. Brittany walked to the pavement and looked up at the house. It was quite a large house which was painted white on the outside. It looked like there were two bedroom's facing the street as well as the living room. Well it looked like a living room from where she was standing anyway. Brittany didn't even notice Rachel leave or that Santana was standing right next to her.

"It's a nice house right?" Santana finally says looking up at the house too. "My dad is a doctor and my mom is a lawyer."

Brittany turned her head to look at her surprised. Wow, she really was brought into a wealthy family having parents with jobs like that. She saw Santana nod in agreement. Santana hated the life that she had as it may be glamorous but she never saw her parents as they were either sleeping or at work."Yeah I have parents with good jobs but it means that they work more and I hardly see them."

Brittany knew exactly how that felt as her parents were never home either and even when they were they didn't care about what she was doing. She looked at her with sympathy. " _I know how you feel San. It's hard_."

Santana smiled at her. "I know you do. Come on let's get inside and to bed."

Brittany nodded and followed her. They went inside the house and Brittany couldn't help but stop and stare. She had just walked in and it looked huge compared to the outside. She was staring at the stairs which were wide and went in a curve to the next floor. They had a red carpet in the middle where people walked up them with the edge of the stairs white, just like the house. They walked further into the house with Santana leading her into the living room. Brittany looked around seeing pictures of the family. She noticed pictures of Santana and her brother and of Santana and her parents. Just by looking at the pictures she could tell Santana was a daddy's girl. She looked just like her dad apart from she had her mom's hair as she was female.

"You've found my favorite picture."

Brittany turned around to see Santana walking toward her. Santana picked up the picture smiling at it, The picture was from when Santana was around six or seven years old. She was on her dad's shoulders smiling happily and her dad was looking up at her happily. Her mother had taken it when they were all walking to the carnival as it was Santana's first carnival. She remembered that as being one of the best days of her childhood since it was one of the times they had all gone out as a family which never happens now. She felt Brittany's eyes on her so she looked up seeing her looking at her curiously.

" _You're a daddy's girl aren't you?_ " Brittany asked smiling.

Santana laughed. "Guilty as charged. He gives me anything I want which I guess makes me spoilt right?"

Brittany shrugged. She never really got that kind of treatment. " _I guess it makes you lucky as your dad can give you all of that stuff_."

Santana nodded. She put the picture back and lead Brittany towards the stairs walking up them. She couldn't help but look at Brittany as she could tell she was excited to be in such a big house. She loved the house but it can be easy to get lost sometimes which is why when they had visitors they had to make sure they knew where their room was. Sometimes it can be lonely though having money but not living near your friends.

She walked into her bedroom shutting the door behind Brittany. Her room had black wallpaper and her bed sheets were black too. She had a rug on the floor which had the pattern of a zebra on it and she had black curtains too. Brittany looked around and she had to say, it was completely the opposite of her bedroom. She even noticed how the chest of drawers that were placed underneath the window were black. Okay, Santana must like black. She watched as Santana went to her drawers and got out some pajamas then walked back over to her handing them to her.

"I know you're tall but they are too big for me so they might fit you," Santana muttered to her, "sorry about the mess though. I'm not very tidy."

Brittany smiled at her. " _It's alright. My room isn't exactly clean either. So where can I get dressed?_ "

Santana walked to her bathroom and opened the door. "You can get dressed in here if you want or I can. It doesn't matter."

" _I will it's alright. Thank you_."

Santana watched Brittany go inside the bathroom then went to her bed picking up her pajamas getting into them. She decided to have a quick tidy round so it wasn't too messy as she wasn't exactly expecting any visitors. She knew Brittany would need to have the bed to herself so she set up another duvet and pillow on the floor for her to sleep on. She had just set it up once Brittany walked out of the bathroom. Just as she thought, they fit her perfectly. She smiled.

"I knew they would fit you. They look amazing on you." Santana complemented looking at her. She realized she was looking at her body a bit too long and Brittany had even noticed since she was smirking at her. Santana blushed and looked away getting under the duvet on the floor lying down. Brittany looked at her and frowned.

" _Why are you lying on the floor?_ " Brittany asked

"Well I thought you could take the bed. You're a guest and I wouldn't want you on the floor." Santana says looking at Brittany. "Plus the no touching aspect means we have to have separate beds."

Brittany knew it was true. She didn't want to risk sharing a bed in case they did touch her and she freaked out. Santana was smart in thinking that as she'd have never even thought about it then she'd have freaked out when she found Santana touching her. She wanted to touch Santana and she wanted to be able to touch other people but she's not at that stage yet. If she ever gets to that stage. Brittany just nodded accepting the answer and got into her bed. She watched as Santana turned the light off whilst cuddling into the pillow which she knew Santana used as it smelt just like her. She couldn't help but smile cuddling into it more. Brittany heard Santana say ,"Night Brittany" then closed her eyes knowing she couldn't say goodnight back since she couldn't sign in the dark and Santana wouldn't be able to see what she said even if she did. She smiled and slowly drifted off to sleep thinking about Santana.


	9. Chapter 9

Brittany started to wake up feeling the slight headache that was starting to form. She remembered a bit from last night such as when Santana wasn't looking she had been drinking, which probably explained the slight headache. She hated it when the jock had touched her and she hated it that she freaked out over it. She wished everyone would just leave her alone, but she knew that when girls were attractive they were bothered more by guys like that, and since she was fairly new she was a new toy for them. The thing was that she had never even had thought about having sex before. She didn't think she would ever get rid of what was wrong with her and even if she could somehow be cured, it would take a long time to be able to have a conversation with someone. The only people she really wanted to talk to was Santana and Rachel. Rachel had heard her speak before so she knew what her voice sounded like but Santana had never even heard her before, but Brittany wanted her to. It wasn't like she could just go up to her and speak to her, but she would at least put that as her goal. To talk to Santana. She felt the bed sheets she was lying in and they were definitely not her own which meant that she was at someone's house. Damn her memory. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in a room she didn't recognize. It wasn't Rachel's as it was too dark to be hers and it wasn't her own room as her room was more colorful, which meant that it could only be one other person's room. Santana's. She looked over the side of the bed to see Santana sleeping. She looked adorable sleeping. Brittany got out of bed when she saw Santana starting to wake up. She really needed to learn to be quiet.

"Britt?" Santana mumbled.

She had to admit, Santana had a sexy morning voice. She couldn't help but smile at the girl she had come to admire, as well as crush on. Couldn't forget that part. She watched the Latina slowly started to wake up. She look beautiful in the morning, and it wasn't a lie. The way her hair was messy from sleeping but it still looked perfect, plus the way her eyes slowly started opening to reveal her brown eyes. She had never seen someone look so perfect waking up, as she knew for a fact she looked awful when she was the one waking up.

Santana finally opened her eyes to see Brittany looking at her. It seemed as though Brittany had been admiring her for a while and for that, she was adorable. Well she always had been adorable but now it was even more so. Brittany was so perfect. She was always so happy and even though she had reason to believe she had been through a lot in her past, it didn't stop her loving life as it was now. Whenever she looked at Brittany she always looked like she was glowing, and that made her smile. She was completely different to anyone she had met before. Santana sat up and rubbed her eyes looking at Brittany and watched her start signing.

" _Morning San._ " Brittany greeted smiling.

"What time is it?"

" _It's just gone past 10. We slept for a while._ "

Santana nodded and yawned. She could easily sleep for another four hours but she really needed to get up since Brittany was here. She knew her parents were probably at work which was one less thing to worry about. She stood up and sat on the bed looking at Brittany. "How'd you sleep?" Santana asked whilst rubbing her eyes.

" _I slept good thank you. Your bed is really comfortable._ "

Santana smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I would prefer you to sleep on here than on the floor."

Brittany looked at her and pouted. But it meant that Santana had to sit on the floor which wasn't fair. " _But you had to sleep on the floor._ " She hated having this condition sometimes.

"Hey, it's completely fine. I would offer my bed to you any time."

Brittany smiled and signed " _Thank you_ " in reply. Santana could be so sweet sometimes and within the first few weeks she had heard people in class mention that Santana was a bitch, but she didn't believe them. When she looked at her she didn't look like a bitch at all and she definitely didn't act like one. She had a different perception of Santana and she wished people would see that, but a person can act differently towards different people so maybe Santana did act like that with other people, but just not with her and in her opinion, that was fine. "

Hey Britt?" Santana asked looking at the blonde.

Brittany looked up. " _Yeah San?_ "

Santana fiddled with her fingers. She wanted to bring up last night in the best way as possible as she felt awful for leaving her by herself because if she didn't, Karofsky wouldn't have touched her. "Umm...you know last night...in the games room?" Santana asked looking up at her.

" _Yeah I remember_." Brittany nodded. " _What about it?_ "

Santana looked down at her fingers again. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for leaving you by yourself." Santana apologized raising her head once more. "If I hadn't left you by yourself you wouldn't have been touched by Karofsky so I just wanted to apologize."

Brittany looked at her and shook her head. " _Santana, I don't want you to apologize_." She saw that Santana was going to reply again so she put her hand up to stop her. " _No, Santana, it wasn't your fault that I went in there. I was drinking when you told me to slow down, so that's how I ended up in there. I don't want you putting the blame on yourself, okay?_ "

Santana looked at Brittany and saw that she was serious, so she just nodded in reply. "Okay. I just-" Santana began but Brittany stopped before she could.

" _No buts. It wasn't your fault full stop. You got that?_ "

Santana had no choice but to agree and she had come to the conclusion that she definitely didn't want to get on the bad side of Brittany. Not that she would, but she seemed to be able to win an argument quite easily and that's even without talking. Not many people could do that so she definitely was impressed. "Okay you're right. Not that it was your fault but I shouldn't blame myself. I don't own you or anything."

She watched Brittany laugh and she could safely say, she had the best laugh. She couldn't wait to eventually hear her voice. Brittany smiled at her and nodded. " _Yes you're right. I'm not a dog._ "

Santana smiled and nodded. "Do you want to get some breakfast? I'm not a very good cook, but there is cereal and everyone knows how to make that."

Brittany nodded and got up out of the bed. " _I would love that_."

xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany and Santana were sat down eating their breakfast in the kitchen. Santana had made Brittany some toast and she even got the cutter to make it in the shape of a duck. The grin on Brittany's face when she did that made her heart beat faster. She knew that she wanted to see that smile on her face for as long as she could. Brittany was eating her duck shaped toast when her phone went off. She picked it up and saw Rachel had text her.

**From Rachel: Hey Britt. I'm sorry for what happened last night and even though you said you had a good time, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I won't blame myself since I know you hate that. Love you!**

Brittany smiled at the message. Rachel knew her so well sometimes it scared her but she was glad she did as she always knew what to say and what she needed. Brittany clicked on reply and started typing out a message back.

**To Rachel: Hey Rae :) I'm good thank you. No need to apologize. I stayed at Santana's last night so I was safe. It was weird waking up in a room I didn't recognize but I got over it. Thanks for inviting me to the party. I had an awesome time. And yes don't apologize. I had to tell San that this morning. Love you too!**

Brittany clicked send and continued eating her breakfast. She looked up and saw Santana looking at her. She smiled and ate her toast which tasted really good. She normally had Lucky Charms for breakfast when she wasn't at school but Santana didn't have any so toast would have to do. It did taste amazing and Santana was sweet enough to put it into the shape of a duck too. She was so sweet sometimes.

"Who was that?" Santana asked bringing Brittany out of her thoughts.

Brittany looked up. " _It was Rachel asking if I was okay._ " Brittany signed to her smiling. " _She worries about me a lot, so she just wanted to check on me since I came home with you and I didn't go home with her_."

Santana nodded smiling. "Rachel is a really good friend."

" _She is. One of the best_." Brittany agreed, finishing the last of her toast. " _Thanks for breakfast. I appreciate you making me some._ "

"You're welcome" Santana said and got up picking up Brittany's plate along with her plate washing them up. Saved her a job later after all. "So what did you wanna do?"

Brittany thought for a minute. She didn't do much on Saturday's and she didn't want to go home so she had to think of something. Maybe they could visit Rachel and Quinn. She knew Rachel didn't do much on Saturday's either which is why they often hung out so it stopped them being bored. " _Maybe we could go see Rachel and Quinn. I know they are probably together and it would stop us being bored_." Brittany suggested standing up.

Santana smiled. "That's a great idea. I'll text Quinn."

Brittany nodded and walked into the living room and sat down with the drink that Santana made her earlier. Santana followed and got her phone out texting Quinn.

**To Q: Hey do you mind me and Brittany coming to hang out with you and Rachel today? We're like mega bored!**

Santana sends the message and sits down beside Brittany. She looks at her and smiles. "How is your extra sessions with Sadie going?" Santana asked curiously.

" _It's going good!_ " Brittany began enthusiastically. " _Sadie is such a great teacher Santana. She understands the way I learn, so to her, I'm not just a student who is being slow. She is young so we can talk about the latest celebrity gossip and stuff, plus I can just open up to her so well_."

"I'm glad you like her, Britt. I know you got a D on your algebra test last week. Least it's not a fail right?" Santana smiled as she knew it was progress for Brittany with her being Dyslexic.

" _That's what Sadie said too. I know I could do better but she knows I'm not good at Math, so she helps me with it more_." Brittany admitted looking down. Her self esteem always went down when it came to her Dyslexia and she hated it. She wished she could be smart like the other people in her classes. They always laugh at her when the teacher asks her to read out loud and she has to admit to everyone that she can't because of her not being able to talk. Sadie is there though, so she gets help and speaks to the teacher when they ask her. She knows Santana will be there to use mean words against anyone who gets down on her too.

"It doesn't matter, you know that right?" Santana asks looking at the blonde. "Who cares if you need more help? You are going to do well after you graduate."

" _How would you know?_ " Brittany asks looking at Santana. " _You are the smartest person I know. You get like all A's in your classes and maybe a B if a teacher is in a bad mood or something. You are at the top of your classes Santana, as well as being a cheerleader. You have a 4.0 grade point average. I'm lucky if I can even get a C in a class_."

Santana looks at her as she tells her all of this. She had no idea Brittany was so down about her Dyslexia. She knew that she was down about it to some respect, but not as down as she was showing her now. "Brittany I had no idea that-" Santana began but Brittany interrupted her.

" _I know you didn't as I don't want anyone to know how I feel about it. Especially not Rachel_." Brittany told her looking at her. " _This isn't just about school work because sometimes it affects my dancing. Left and right they get all muddled up in my head and I can't do anything about it. I'll be lucky if I can even leave school with a 2.0 GPA_."

"Hey listen to me. You will leave school with at least a 2.0 GPA, as I will make sure of it." Santana says confidently. "You are so smart Britt, and it is only this Dyslexia holding you back but you know what? Having Dyslexia just shows me how tough you are. You have this and you still go on like it's nobody's business. You've shown me how well you can dance and you keep going into school every day and keep trying. That, to me, shows how brave you are."

Brittany smiles at her. She knew she could count on Santana to cheer her up. She had felt like this for a while but never told anyone. Why should she? It was her life, not theirs. But now she had told someone it was like there was a huge weight off her shoulders. She didn't have this secret about how down she felt. She heard a vibration and saw Santana's phone go off. She looked at her waiting for an answer. Santana looked at her phone reading the message.

**From Q: Hey S. Yeah that is fine. What time are you coming over? You might have to give me and Rachel at least ten minutes to get ourselves sorted.**

Brittany watched as Santana started smirking. She looked at her and started signing as Santana turned her way. " _What is it?_ "

Santana laughed looking at her. "I think our friends were getting it on this morning."

Brittany looked at her confused. What was she on about exactly? " _What do you mean getting it on? Getting what on?_ " Brittany asked confused. Maybe she could make it a bit clearer for her.

"Oh right. Sorry Britt. I mean I think they were having sex this morning." Santana clarified laughing and typed out a reply to her. Brittany watched her.

**To Q: As if you are Rach were having sex this morning! You better me decent by the time we get there!**

**From Q: Jealous S? ;)**

**To Q: Ha as if. You wish Fabray!**

**From Q: Whatever you say Lopez. And yes we will be. See you soon**

Santana put her phone away in her pocket and turned to Brittany. She looked at her and noticed how beautiful she looked in the mornings. Her hair didn't look messy like hers did and she just looked perfect. Her eyes were sparking like the ocean did when the sun was beaming down on it. Then there was her clothes. She was just in her clothes from last night but they didn't look like they had been slept in. How did she look so perfect? _Damn it Lopez, get a grip!_

Brittany looked at Santana and saw how she looked like she was having a battle with herself in her head. She giggled a little looking at her. She saw Santana turn her head to look at her and smiled. Okay so Santana has a killer smile. Why did she have to be so beautiful?

"Okay, so how about we get dressed then get ourselves over to Rachel's house?" Brittany nodded and signed " _That sounds like a plan_ " then stood up walking to the kitchen and rinsed her glass out putting it on the side. Santana walked through putting her glass down on the side once Brittany was done. Most people didn't care about washing up since they didn't use a lot of the cutlery so it was left for later, but it surprised her how Brittany had just gone up and done it.

"You didn't have to do that Britt," Santana told her rinsing her own glass out, "I could have done that later."

" _Well I just saved you a job._ " Brittany winked at her and walked out of the kitchen walking upstairs. Santana smirked and shook her head and ran after her following her up the stairs to her bedroom.

xxxxxxxxxx

Santana pulled up at Rachel's house. Since Quinn and Rachel's cars were parked in the driveway she had to settle for the edge of the pavement, but it didn't matter. She had been to Rachel's house before and there were always cars outside. Brittany looked at the car and was confused. Santana was driving but she was in her junior year. She knew Rachel had been driving since she was 16 because her dad's taught her so after a few lessons when she was 17, she was able to take the test and pass. But Santana was the same age as her and she was driving. That couldn't be right could it?

"You look deep in thought there." Santana's voice brought her out of her thought yet again. She looked at Santana and shook her head. She was probably being stupid about it. She didn't have to tell her anything anyway.

" _It's nothing don't worry about it_." Brittany assured her and gave her a smile.

"You sure? We're friends so you can ask what you want." Santana says and shuts the engine off. She turned to Brittany as she took her seat belt off too.

" _I was just wondering...you don't have to answer if you don't want to as it is totally fine and it is none of my business anyway, so just tell me to shut up if I go too far or something_." Brittany rambled to Santana but then blushed when she realized what she had done. " _I just rambled didn't I?_ "

Santana laughed a little. "It's okay don't worry about it. Lucky for you, you're cute when you ramble." Santana looked down afterwards realizing what she said and blushed. Did she really just say that?

Brittany smiled at her friend. " _Thank you. Anyway I was just wondering why you drive. I mean you're only 16, right?_ "

Santana looked at her when she asked her the question. It was bound to come up at some point so there was no point in hiding it. She just hated talking about it because, in her opinion, it was embarrassing and she was ashamed by it. She's had her friends tell her not to be but they hadn't gone through it so how would they know? She was the oldest in the year and technically she should be in the year above but she had to get held back for reasons. She had told Rachel, Sam and Quinn but that's it but she should probably tell Brittany too. She's her friend too after all and she wasn't going to lie about being able to drive. She just had to come right out with it. She was so deep in thought she didn't realize Brittany was trying to tell her something. She shook her head and looked at her.

" _Hey, you alright? You don't have to tell me, it's okay._ "

Santana shook her head. "No, I want to tell you. I was just thinking about how to tell you."

" _Well, take all the time you need_." Brittany assured her with a smile. " _I don't want you to rush or pressure you because all that will do is make it harder to tell me_."

Santana took a deep breath and nodded. She looked at Brittany and got the reassurance she needed and knew that now was the time to tell her. She didn't have many secrets but this was one she wanted to keep from certain people, due to the fact it would mean that they wouldn't respect her as much, and she didn't want that. Santana looked down then looked up at Brittany. "Okay so I have only told what I am about to say to about three other people so it would mean a lot to me if you could keep this to yourself."

" _Oh yes of course. I won't tell anyone don't worry. In case you haven't noticed I'm not exactly a person to gossip._ " Brittany laughed looking at her. " _You have nothing to worry about_. _"_

Santana nodded. "Okay, so I was in eighth grade when I got home my mami wanted to talk to me..."

**March 2007**

_Santana walked in after walking home with Quinn. Rachel had gone elsewhere that night so they decided to walk back and have a chat on their own. It turned out pretty funny as they rated the guys in the schools and how hot they were. It was pretty fun in that respect. She put her bag down on the side and walked into the kitchen grabbing a banana to eat. It was better than all the unhealthy stuff that was in the house anyway. She was about to walk back up to her bedroom when her mami was stood in the living room in front of the stairs. Well that was unusual since this morning her mami had told her that both her and papi were working. Now she's not suddenly?_

_"What are you doing home?" Santana asked curiously. "You said you were working."_

_Her mother looked upset which was a first. She never showed her emotions unless something terrible had happened which meant that this was a terrible thing and that worried her. The last time she had seen her mother cry was when she lost her baby a couple of years ago and she hadn't tried since. She knew she wouldn't be able to if that happened to her. She looked at her mami who moved to the couch, so she followed and sat beside her. Santana looked at her waiting for the news she had for her. It didn't look good._

_"Santana, honey, you know that your Abuela is in the hospital right now?" Maribel asked her daughter knowing she had to be careful at how to address the situation with her. She knew Santana had been close to her and she did go over there every weekend. How was she meant to tell her something like this? "_

_Yeah and she said she would be out before I knew it" Santana answered smiling. She remembered going to see her at the hospital last week and she told her to not be sad as she didn't want her wasting her tears on her as she didn't want to see her cry. She watched her mother who looked like she was about to cry herself. "Mami don't cry. Abuela told me not to cry, so you can't either." Santana put her hand on her mother's leg._

_Maribel looked up at Santana. "Honey I'm sorry to say but you won't see your Abuela anymore." She felt tears escape her eyes but she blinked them away knowing that now was not the time to cry. She knew Santana needed her._

_"What do you mean? She'll be out soon, right? She told me so."_

_Santana watched her mami shake her head. Why was she doing that? She was coming out; she knew she was. Her Abuela never lied to her and she was not going to believe that she did. She told her that she would be out of the hospital and she could visit her. Why would she say that if she wasn't?_

_"Hija I'm sorry but your Abuela...she passed away. She won't be coming back." Maribel whimpered then she finally let tears fall down her face in front of her daughter. She didn't like doing it but she couldn't hold it in any longer._

_Santana looked at her mother astounded. Her Abuela was gone for good? No...it couldn't be. She promised she was going to make it home and now she was gone? How could this happen? She stood up not knowing what else to do. She couldn't let her mother see her cry. She just couldn't. She backed away and ran upstairs. She heard her mother call her name but she couldn't deal with it. She needed to be alone. She needed her Abuela back without her being ill. Santana ran into her room and locked the door flinging herself onto the mattress crying into her pillow. She had never felt so upset in her life since no one had left her in this way before but now she knew that feeling, she really didn't want to feel it again._

**February 2013**

Santana had her hands on the steering wheel gripping it tight so she was at least holding something then she turned to look at Brittany. "Well after the death of my Abuela I couldn't concentrate in school. I caused trouble and got angry a lot then I started failing my classes so they held me back a year. I turned 18 in November. That's why I can drive as I am actually older than everyone else." Santana sighed and turned back to face the front again.

Brittany looked at her shocked. Her Abuela, whoever that was, died when she was in eighth grade? That must have been horrible. She couldn't even handle her goldfish dying when she was that age, which is why she got Lord Tubbington, her cat. Her parents felt that buying her a cat would cheer her up and it did. He was like her best friend but she had to keep Rachel out of conversation because he usually got jealous of their friendship. He needed to handle his jealousy issues. She knew Santana needed comforting but she hadn't touched someone in so long. She tried reaching over but couldn't do it so she just looked at her and signed as she looked back at her.

" _I'm sorry about your Abuela, Santana_."

Santana was surprised. Not about what she had said but Brittany had tried reaching out to touch her. That was a start right? It meant that she did want to even if she was scared to. She would definitely have to mention this to Rachel since she knew about Brittany more than she did. She would definitely take it as a good thing though. "It's okay Britt. It's over now. Thank you for listening." She looked at the blonde then opened her car door. "Ready to go inside? I'm sure they've finished now."

Brittany smirked getting out of the car closing the door walking to the pavement." _Well you better hope so or you'll be getting my memory erased to get the image out my head_."

Santana laughed and got out the car locking it."You got yourself a deal."


	10. Chapter 10

Brittany and Santana walked up to Rachel's front door and knocked. They both heard giggling from the inside so Brittany knew that they were having fun at least. Well with them being girlfriends she hopes that they are having fun since it wouldn't exactly be very good if they weren't enjoying themselves. Brittany knocked on the door and waited for an answer. She looked at Santana and smiled. She was glad that last night she had come to find her or else it could have gotten a lot worse than it did. She knows that she shouldn't exactly be thinking about that now but she can't help it. Literally, she could watch Santana all day. You know...in a totally none creepy way. Is that even possible? Well if it is, she could do that. She heard the door unlock and looked back at the door seeing Rachel standing there in her robe.

"Seriously? Couldn't even get dressed?" Santana asked smirking.

"Shut it Lopez. Jealous?"

"Ha you wish Berry. Now move your ass out the way and let me and Britt-Britt in"

Rachel laughed and moved out the way. Brittany signed a ' _thank you_ ' to her then walked in after Santana.

Brittany had become familiar to this house as she had been there so many times. It was another place that Brittany felt safe and that she could be herself. Her dads were never in which was sad, but it is why she goes over so much. To keep her company. She does that when Quinn is busy though because she doesn't want to have to look at the two kissing and ignoring her, which has happened before. Rachel apologized the day after but still. It wasn't very comfortable. She walked into the living room and sat down in the arm chair. She knew this was always best because of the no touching issue she had.

"Want a drink you two?" Rachel asked walking in leaning against the back of the sofa.

Brittany shook and looked at Santana whilst she took a seat in the other armchair next to her. She obviously didn't want to be near Quinn and Rachel kissing either. Brittany smiled then looked away. ' _Don't stare! She'll think you're weird_.' Brittany thought to herself and looked at a picture of the two of them on the wall from when they were in middle school.

"I'll have a banana milkshake. But I want two straws in it and I'll share with Brittany" Santana answered picking up a magazine from the side. Brittany smiled whilst Rachel walked into the kitchen. She noticed Santana staring so she turned and looked at her.

" _Why do you wanna share with me? I could steal all your drink for all you know_." Brittany asked smirking.

Santana chuckles. "I don't care. I wanna share with you. She always puts it in a big glass that I never finish. And this way, I get to share with you."

Brittany nods and smiles. She loved banana milkshake so she honestly didn't mind sharing with Santana. She felt her stomach churn when Santana looked at her. She had been feeling a lot of feelings lately that she never really could explain but she loved it. The Latina had made her a bit more confident that she had even considered joining Glee Club, but she knew she wasn't there yet. She needed a bit more time before joining.

Rachel came back with Santana's drink and sat down next to Quinn putting an arm around her. It was nice that all of them were together instead of just passing each other in school or being separate. What, with Quinn and Rachel around each other all the time and now Brittany and Santana, it was rare to hang out together. Brittany kind of felt bad as Sam was getting left out, but if she were in Sam's position would she want to hang around with four girls alone? Okay stupid question, course she would. I mean, hello? Four hot girls in one room? Who wouldn't?

"So Britt. How has school been?" Rachel began turning to her.

" _It has been alright._ " Brittany signed turning to Rachel. " _I mean compared to my last high school experience it is a lot better and people don't get close to me which is good. I'd like my condition to remain a secret_."

Quinn looked up at Brittany. "But...wouldn't you rather people know?"

Rachel turned to her girlfriend and shook her head. "Babe, the last time that happened everyone used it against her. They-" Rachel began but when she saw Brittany giving her a pleading look, she stopped and nodded her head then continued to try and cover up what she was saying. "Well...let's just say it didn't turn out very well."

Brittany sighed in relief. She wasn't ready for people to know just yet as it was her business and even Rachel didn't know the story. She just wanted a quiet life here at this school, without all of the drama that usually gets in the way. She had a lot of things happen at her old school from being pushed into lockers to being teased about not talking, and the worst was the incident that happened on the last day of her old school. When she left she knew that was it, she wasn't going to take it any more. She lost her best friend as she had her boyfriend to entertain her so she stopped caring at her. It was awful when you think about it, but it didn't bother her too much. She wasn't the best friend in the world. She didn't help her when people touched her like Santana did, or bring over treats when she was sad like Rachel did. All she really did was keep her company and even when they were together, they didn't talk much. She just kept her from being alone. Her name was Liz Gardener. She had long, brown hair and she was always seen wearing make-up, but it was always too much. She was usually seen wearing dangly earrings and her clothes were always tight. She wore black boots usually, either knee high ones or ankle boots. To be honest, Brittany never knew why they ended up being friends when she seemed like someone to be hanging around the popular people. The only reason she wasn't popular was because she didn't want to be. She kind of settled for her. Brittany accepted that, but she wished she would have been a better friend to her. She always said she had no friends though, because to her, Liz wasn't her friend. She didn't act like one so she wasn't. She noticed Santana waving in her face. She shook her head looking at her.

" _What's up?_ " Brittany asked, trying to forget about what was on her mind.

"You were deep in thought there Britt-Britt." Santana pointed out, smiling. "I just didn't want you to get stuck up there in a cage with no key to get out."

Brittany laughed. It was usually her that came up with things like that so it was nice to see someone else do it. She knew people thought it was weird but that was just who she was. Lucky for her, she only cared about what her friends thought. Well, in a way that was a lie but deep down, it was what she always thought . She looked at Santana. She wanted to move her hand onto her leg but he couldn't pluck up the courage to do so. Why did she have to be weak? So she just smirked at her.

" _Sorry, I'll try not to get into the cage next time_."

Santana smirked too then smiled softly. "Good because I'm selfish and I'd miss you."

Brittany nodded and looked down at her seat. No one, apart from Rachel, had ever said that to her and she had to admit, she liked being wanted. She felt her cheeks go red which was a little embarrassing.

"Aww Britt, you're blushing." Rachel teased smirking at her playing with her girlfriend's hair.

She looked up at Rachel and glared. She had a lot of embarrassing things she could say right now and even though she knew they were empty threats, it didn't mean she couldn't try.

" _If you don't shut up I will tell Quinn about the bathroom incident that happened over at my house when you were five._ " Brittany threatened looking at her glaring. She saw Rachel look down and nod. Brittany smirked proudly. Mission accomplished.

"Ha! You totally got owned by Britt!" Santana cheered laughing. She had never seen Rachel back down like that and it was very entertaining to see. She saw Brittany smirking back which she had to admit did make her smile.

"Brittttt," Rachel whined looking at her, "you're supposed to be defending me as I'm your best friend!"

Brittany smirked. " _I can have two best friends_."

"Oh no. She is not taking my place as your best friend. That is my job." Rachel told her straight up folding her arms. She knew Rachel was very defensive when it came to her friendship. She knew it was because she didn't want to lose her and even though she tried reassuring her that she wasn't going to lose her, she never listened and she still acted like...well...how she was now.

" _Rachie_ ," Brittany began looking at her, " _you're my best friend don't worry. I love you_." Brittany smiled trying to get her to calm down. It usually took longer but she knew that with her friends around, it would take less time. She saw Rachel smile and knew she had got through. She knew her best friend so well it was scary sometimes. She watched Rachel nod and smiled.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I love you too."

She took Santana's drink off the side and picked a straw to drink out of. God the milkshake tasted bloody amazing. She didn't like swearing that much as her dad was always against it, but there was literally no other word to use. She loved her milkshakes and she could easily just live off them. Hopefully that wasn't too much, but it was the truth.

"Hey! That's mine!" Santana says finally realizing her drink is gone. Brittany just sat there and smirked as she drank her drink. She put the drink between her knees and started moving her hands to reply.

" _So? It's your fault for sharing with me_ ," Brittany tells her calmly knowing she was right. Heck, she loved being right. " _Don't worry I'm almost done._ "

Brittany drank some more and put the glass down. She spun the straws around in the glass smirking at her friend so she couldn't pick easily which straw was hers. She loved messing with people sometimes. Santana looked up at her. She had never seen this side of Brittany and she had to admit, she loved it.

"You better not have any diseases, Pierce."

" _Oh I only have Herpes. That isn't a problem, right?_ " Brittany asked, enjoying the teasing she was doing to her friends. It was actually pretty fun to see a friend's face when you do.

Santana looked at her shocked, but she knew she was joking instantly when she saw her trying not to smile. She shook her head. "You're disgusting."

Brittany burst out laughing. " _I'm kidding. I think you'd know if I did San, don't worry._ "

Santana laughed and drank her milkshake. Half of it was gone due to Brittany drinking it but she didn't mind. Honesty, she liked sharing it with her as I made her feel close to her. Weird right? She hadn't felt like this before. Just the whole romantic concept of having the butterflies in your stomach, feeling your heart race when they are around you, sweaty palms as well as checking their Facebook every hour. Okay so maybe that was just her that did the last one, but she really enjoyed looking through her pictures and stuff. Don't judge.

Brittany stood up and started putting her shoes on. She didn't want to leave but with her homework load, she kind of had to. It was in for Monday and it needed doing. Even though she had thought about having a smart person do her work, it wouldn't do well for the future so doing it herself was the only option. Plus Sadie knew how she did her school work now and it would be strange if her style suddenly changed.

"Where you off Brittany?" Quinn asked curiously. "You haven't been here long."

" _Yeah, sorry, I have to go. I completely forgot about my homework and it takes me longer to get it done than you guys._ " Brittany explained standing up straight. " _But I will catch up with all of you later._ "

"Alright see you later, Britt."

Santana looked up. "Want me to drive you home?"

Brittany shook her head. " _No it's okay. I don't live far from here anyway so I'll just walk. Have fun though._ "

Brittany said goodbye to the three of them and walked out of the house. She enjoyed spending time with them but she had always told herself that school work came first. Dyslexia always got in the way but even though it did, she wouldn't change who she was for anyone. She loved who she was and no one was going to make her change her mind. Whenever she thought about the people at her other school, it made her angry because she always had to deal with how they treated her, and she always remembered the teachers even giving up whilst always referring to her as 'the stupid child' in the class. It hurt her and after a while she did start to believe them. Why shouldn't she? Everyone thought she was stupid so maybe she was. Before she moved to that school she had been diagnosed with Dyslexia and even though her old school knew about it, they did nothing extra to support her. They told her that she needed to keep up on her own without help since no one else gets it. She regrets not going to McKinley to start with, but she knew it was because she didn't want Rachel to have to stick up for her all the time. She wanted to be independent, but all that going to that school did was make her more insecure. She didn't like people seeing how insecure she was, so she hid it. From everyone. She couldn't allow them to see how she felt when she was in public. It would make her feel worse. Maybe seeing a Councillor who knew sign language wouldn't be such a bad idea. But right now, she just couldn't.

xxxxxxxxxx

Before she knew it, it was Monday and she was back at school. The classes were actually okay, especially in Spanish because Santana helped her. She had a lot of help from Santana, Rachel and Sadie plus Sam because he had Dyslexia too, so they could relate. They ended up having the same lessons together with Sadie so it helped them get closer. She really did enjoy his company since he was the only one who understand how frustrating it was. They talked about different things from football to motocross. He told her about how his parents could never afford to take him even though he really wanted to. It sucked when your parents couldn't afford something for you but Brittany knew she had to take him out. Not on a date! God no! Just out on the track. Anyway they had been left alone to do some maths work. They were actually in the same class but Brittany never noticed since she was always just doodling in her book because she didn't see the point when she had Sadie to explain it to her. Sadie always told Brittany to try her best but she couldn't even look at the numbers so how could she learn when they kept moving? It was like they were doing the tango on the paper. Brittany couldn't help but smile at that.

"What are you smiling at?" Sam asked bringing her out of her thoughts.

" _Oh sorry. I was just thinking that the numbers on the page look like they're doing the tango_." Brittany stated looking at them. It seriously looked like a dance. She heard Sam laugh and looked up at him. " _What's so funny?_ "

"You're right. It doesn't look like the numbers are dancing." Sam said smiling. "This is why I hate math."

" _Yeah, same here_ " Brittany agreed tapping her pencil on the desk. " _I would rather be at my locker doing nothing than be sat here_."

Sam nodded in agreement as their teacher walked in checking our work. It's not like they had done a lot but she did mark it anyway and gave them some more to do for homework. Brittany got up when she said they could go and walked out the door. She really wanted to just get out of there. She hated it at times as it wasn't exactly a big room and she preferred leg space when she was working, which she didn't get in there. Well at least she wasn't alone.

She walked to her locker and saw Santana at hers. She sighed as she walked. It had been frustrating for her as she really wanted to touch her but she knew she couldn't. She hadn't touched anyone or talked to anyone in years which is why sign language came into play. Nothing can stop people from touching her but she will live with that. But Santana...she was different. She made Brittany more confident and happier. She wanted to touch her and comfort her and talk to her but nothing came that easy. You had to work for things you wanted so she was going to work for it. She would have to think about this since it was a big deal for her. With someone with her condition you can't just go up to someone and touch them because the healing process doesn't just happen overnight. Ha, she wishes. She really just wanted to touch Santana and hug her and thank her for everything she had done for her but that wasn't going to happen unless she got help. She just wasn't ready yet. She couldn't. She didn't even know if she could still talk. What if she had forgotten?

She had been so lost in her own thoughts she had no idea Santana had walked up to her and had been trying to get her attention. What can she say? She's a thinker. Brittany finally came to and looked at her.

" _Hey San. Sorry, I was thinking to myself_." Brittany apologized picking up the bag that seemed to have dropped to the floor.

"Obviously." Santana replied looking at her whilst she picked her bag up. "Anyway how was your session with Sadie?"

" _It was good._ " Brittany told her nodding her head standing up straight. " _I was telling Sam about how the numbers look like they're doing the tango. It's nice to find someone who understands, you know?_ "

Santana looked at Brittany nodding. She knew exactly how she was feeling. "Yeah I get you. Fancy grabbing some food for lunch?"

" _Actually I can't,_ " Brittany declined looking at the floor feeling bad about it. She hated letting people down and saying no but she did already have plans. " _I...err...thought I could hang out with Sam today. He said he'd introduce me to his friends that aren't you guys_."

Santana felt something she had never felt before. She felt her body build up with rage slowly and all she wanted to do was find Sam and hit him for taking her Britt-Britt away, but she couldn't. She wouldn't stoop that low just because she was feeling angry. Was it...jealousy, maybe? No. As if she was jealous! Brittany was a friend. Yeah. Only a friend. Well...until she could convince herself otherwise.

"Oh yeah that is totally fine Britt. Don't worry about it. I'll go and find Rachel and Quinn." Santana assured her not wanting the blonde to feel bad about it.

" _Are you sure?_ " Brittany asked. She didn't want her friend having to sit with those two making out and feeling awkward. "Y _ou can come with us if you like. I wouldn't want you to have to put up with those two being all lovey dovey and sickeningly cute._ "

Santana smirked trying to hide her actual jealousy of Sam. She wasn't gonna show that. "Oh you care now do you, Pierce?"

Brittany laughed. " _Yes, I do care thank you very much. Now do you wanna come with me or not?_ "

Santana shook her head. She did trust Brittany and, funnily enough, she trusted Sam too. She wasn't going to act jealous and without seeing them together, no one would see it. She watched Brittany smile and sign a ' _see you later_ ' then watched her walk away seeing Sam in the distance. She knew that she would get close to Sam as he had Dyslexia too, but she did not want them being romantically involved. She would definitely not be able to hide her feelings away for the blonde then. The cute blonde, not trouty mouth. Santana sighed and walked back into school.

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Brittany and Sam walked away from school towards town. Sam didn't know sign language as well as the others so it took more time for him to understand. She had noticed when they were together in Sam's lessons. When she meets his friends she knows she'll have to get her notebook out which was really annoying . At least she'd meet new people but hopefully they wouldn't think she was weird. She hated people judging her. Sam lead her to a small cafe which looked really nice. It was a white cafe with a sign on the outside that said 'Mandy's Cafe'. The walls were white on the outside and inside it was really cute. It had booths near the window and there were stools at a bar type thing even though it wasn't really a bar. Brittany never really understood them that much. Sam walked up to a small group of people so Brittany followed and sat down next to Sam.

"Hey guys. This is my friend Brittany." Sam introduced her straight away as he sat down. "But she doesn't talk and please don't touch her as it freaks her out. Anyone says a bad word about her then you leave. Got it?"

Brittany waved and saw everyone smile. She sat with her hands on the table playing with her fingers. She looked up and saw Sam give her a comforting smile. She liked that he was able to make her feel safe.

"Hey Brittany, my name is Finn." A largish boy greeted. "Finn Hudson. You might have seen me on the football team."

Brittany nodded and looked at the person next to him. They all seemed to be boys apart from this one girl. She seemed friendly enough I guess even though she was on the big side. But who was she to judge?

"Mercedes Jones. I've seen you around." The black girl told her with a smile. Brittany smiled back to be polite. She seemed nice enough. She looked at the person next to her. She knew she had seen him before but where?

"Mike Chang." The Asian introduced with a smile. "We're actually in the same homeroom which is where you probably recognize me from."

Ah that's right. First day Mike was talking to Santana. A guy with a Mohawk started speaking after that and she knew he was in her homeroom too. He was the one that was kind of a flirt. "And my name is Puck. We have met as I remember seeing your sexy ass in homeroom when you first started."

She saw Sam hit the back of his head. She let out a giggle. "Do you have any respect for women, Puckerman?!"

"Of course I do Sammy boy!" Puck replied grinning. "I respect them to know that they will want to ride Puckasaurus here eventually, as every girl does." Brittany noticed him motioning towards his crotch. Okay, eww, never gonna happen. Not in this lifetime.

"You are disgusting, man." Finn frowned looking down at his food.

"As if dude. So Brittany, whenever you want to have a good time give me a call yeah?" Puck offered winking at her. Brittany looked at him and shook her head. She knew that he was not a person to get involved with. Nor would she ever get involved with. She heard Sam chuckle as she did.

"You got turned down dude." Sam smirked. Brittany couldn't help but wonder if Santana had slept with him. She felt her insides churn as she thought about it. She didn't want to think that the person she had been crushing on the past few weeks had slept with that thing. It made her feel sick but she tried ignoring it. After all, she was here to spend time with Sam and his friends. She would ask her that later.

"So Brittany." The girl called Mercedes began, "all of us were going to go to a bonfire tonight. There is a beach about an hour away from here. Would you fancy joining us? You're newish here so you can meet some new people."

"Yeah we're all going," Mike continued eating some fries off his plate, "we all get to dance and just have a good time. It will be great!"

Brittany thought about the offer. Last time she went to a party she had a jock touching her but with the party being at the beach, what could go wrong? There was a lot more space and less crowds which would make her less anxious. She had to try, right? She looked at Mercedes and typed out on her phone showing her the message.

**Mind me bringing a friend along?**

She looked at Mercedes waiting for a reply and once she saw her smile, she knew it wouldn't be a problem.

"Course, girl. Bring whoever you want. My uncle throws the party so any of my friends can go and he usually invites some of his friends." Mercedes explained taking a sip of her drink. "So, you in?"

Brittany nodded smiling. It did sound pretty cool after all.

"Great! So how about we swap phone numbers and I text you the address?"

Brittany nodded again and typed out Mercedes name into her phone passing it to her who did the same to Brittany. They swapped phone numbers and Brittany couldn't help but feel like this school that she is at would actually be pretty good. She felt more confident and she was trying new things. The next step now is joining Glee Club and then working on touching people and talking, but those things will take time. For the rest of the afternoon she sat and talked to Sam and his friends without worrying about anything else. She felt happy.

"You alright, B?" Sam asked turning to her as the others talked amongst themselves.

Brittany looked at Sam and smiled. " _Yeah, I actually am. It sounds like we'll have a lot of fun tonight. I can't wait!_ "

"We will don't worry. I'll keep you safe and I know Santana will. That's who you want to invite, right?"

Brittany blushed hearing Santana's name. She couldn't help it. Whenever she thought of her she thought about how beautiful, funny, smart, caring and cute she was. Did she mention sexy because, seriously, she had the most amazing body. She looked at Sam who she noticed was smirking. She gave him a confused look. Why was he smirking like that?

"Oh don't give me that confused look. You like her!"

" _I do not!" Brittany argued not wanting to admit it. She was always told that by admitting something out loud it made it real and she knew she didn't want people knowing about her crush._

"Hey, it's cool." Sam assured her smiling. "You're secret is safe with me."

Brittany nodded relieved. She wasn't ready for that type of public announcement just yet. She wanted to stay invisible for now so people wouldn't aim for her. It was better this way. She turned to the rest of the group and listened as they spoke about the bonfire that night. She was actually pretty excited. And for once, she wasn't nervous.


	11. Chapter 11

After Brittany had spent time with him and his friends they decided on going back to school. She wanted to invite Santana and Rachel to the bonfire that was happening tonight. She was glad that she had gone with Sam because, for the first time, no one questioned her about why she didn't talk. Whenever people found out that she didn't talk the first question that was asked was 'why?'. It was none of their business but they just enjoyed being nosy. But the fact that Sam's friends just accepted it was something new, and she loved it. She really wanted to go to the bonfire tonight because it meant she could meet new people. She knew that it wasn't exactly normal not to talk or not to want to be touched, but she couldn't just change. She wished it was that easy but it wasn't. Brittany was looking in the mirror at herself in the locker room. They were about to have gym and she was part through getting changed. She had her top off and was stood in her gym shorts and her bra. She knew she looked hot but she just needed to take that confidence and self esteem and put it into wanting to talk and wanting to be able to hug and hold people. She was so caught up she didn't hear Santana walk in.

"Britt, coach is wondering where...oh my god you're topless." Santana says shocked turning around. "I'm so sorry."

Brittany laughed. She put her gym top on and started doing her laces up on her shoes. She looked at Santana since she had her back to her. She couldn't help but move her eyes down to her ass noticing how firm it looked. She wondered how it would feel in her hands, but she took that idea out of her head when she notice her turning around. She looked up at her and smiled whilst she did her laces then stood up looking at her.

" _Santana it's fine. Seriously_." Brittany assured her, smiling. " _I know I'm hot and just so you know...I was wearing a bra._ "

Santana nodded looking up at her smiling. Brittany was right. She did look hot. She had always wondered what the blonde looked like under the clothes she wore and now she knew. It wasn't the ideal situation but it happened now so she can't change it. Not that she would anyway as now she didn't have to imagine. It was great.

"I didn't mean to walk in on you but Coach Beiste was wondering where you got to. I volunteered to come get you as I knew you'd be more comfortable with me than with anyone else."

Brittany smiled. Santana was so sweet sometimes.

" _Thank you for coming to get me_." Brittany appreciated standing up straight. " _Come on, let's go._ "

If there was one subject that Brittany could drop, it would be gym. It was the lesson that was the perfect opportunity for the popular kids in the school to bully the less popular ones. Especially when it came to dodge ball. That should be a sport that gets band, but it wouldn't happen since it is a popular sport to play in gym. At her last school she was one of the people that went home with bruises on her body due to people hitting her on purpose and throwing the balls at her hard. The teacher just left them to it as she had a crap teacher. Brittany didn't think she even knew what she was doing. She couldn't control the kids so she gave up and left everyone to it. She hated it. Brittany was so busy thinking what happened at her old school she didn't hear Santana calling her name.

"Brittany!" Santana shouted looking at her.

Brittany heard Santana's voice and turned her head. When did she start talking exactly?

"Sorry I was thinking to myself." Brittany blushed apologizing looking down. " _What were you saying?_ "

Santana smiled. "I was just asking if you were okay. You looked deep in thought and I was right."

Brittany smiled and looked up. She looked at everyone in the gym running around. She sighed and walked inside with Santana. She heard the teacher tell them to join everyone in running around the gym so she did. They both began running joining everyone else. Since Brittany did running and dancing to keep fit, she was one of the people who didn't get tired so this was nothing for her. She saw other people who she passed struggling to keep up. Seriously, some people should just work out more.

"Right girls come together once you've ran the perimeter of the hall." Coach Beiste announces watching us all run. She should get down and start running herself. She wasn't exactly skinny.

Brittany and Santana ran what they needed to and stood in the middle of the hall with everyone waiting for the slow ones who obviously needed to get into shape. She watched everyone come together then looked towards Coach Beiste. She really hoped dodge ball wasn't the sport they were doing. She would seriously find a way of getting out.

"Okay so now you are all here, we can start." Beiste began looking at the class. "We are going to be doing gymnastics. Now get into pairs and get to stretching."

Santana smiled and stood beside Brittany. She looked up at her. "Will you be my partner?"

Brittany beamed and smiled nodding. Everything was fine until one of the Cheerios walked up to Santana. Brittany knew instantly that it couldn't be good. She saw the smirk on her lips. Her name was Simone or something, and since she was one of the Cheerios it meant she was manipulative who was used to get her own way. One of the reasons Brittany hated them so much.

" _San, why are you working with that loser?_ " Simone asked moving closer to Santana putting a hand on her chest. "How about you work with me? I'm much sexier and I actually talk."

Brittany saw Rachel about to swing for her but she gave Rachel a look to get her to stand down so she did. She trusted Santana which meant that hopefully she would defend her and tell her to get lost. Well here's hoping.

"Okay there are two things in that sentence that are wrong." Santana snapped looking at the cheerio glaring at her pushing her away. "One. Brittany is not a loser. She is the coolest person I know which makes you the loser. Two. If you have a problem with Brittany not talking, then take that up with me! Frankly, not talking can say a lot more than words can at times. So you can just piss off and leave us alone, as I am Brittany's partner."

She saw everyone looking at Santana, shocked. No one expected it and she didn't either. Santana always seemed so calm and collected but now she saw this side of her, it was shocking. But it was so hot and she couldn't help but feel special knowing Santana had done that for her. Santana would rather work with her than a hot cheerleader. Okay, it made Brittany feel amazing and the butterflies in her stomach that were usually there when Santana was around got worse. She felt like more butterflies had just got added to her stomach but she couldn't help but grin at Santana. She looked back smiling. How was this girl so amazing? The both of them walked with Quinn and Rachel to the edge of the gym and stretched. Brittany couldn't stop herself from smiling.

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The next day, Brittany saw couples everywhere so she knew it was Valentine's Day. To her, Valentine's Day was just another day so she never celebrated it since she never had anyone to share it with. Last year Rachel and Quinn spent it together, but she spent it alone since she didn't fancy being a third wheel. Rachel ended up feeling bad and coming over after the date to spend time with her. She didn't mind her spending time with the one she loves because it was important to her with it being her first Valentine's Day with Quinn. Usually they spent it together and watched romantic films, but she knew it was important to Rachel to impress Quinn. It's not like she minded but Rachel was stubborn. This year though she has Santana. Well not has exactly, but she definitely enjoyed having someone to crush on. She realized how bad she had been. She had ended up stalking Santana's Facebook at night which consisted of looking through her friends to see if she was friends with any of her ex's and looking through her pictures. Not too bad, right? She was sat with Santana, Quinn and Rachel at the lunch table currently. She was with Santana mainly since Rachel and Quinn were in their own little world. Figures. She turned to Santana.

" _San? Can I ask you something?_ " Brittany asked shyly.

Santana turned to face her. "Course. What's up?"

" _Well, Mercedes invited me to a bonfire tonight_ ," Brittany began looking at Santana to make sure she wasn't going to freak out. Once she knew she wasn't going to she continued, " _and I was wondering if you wanted to join me_."

Santana looked at her friend and thought about it. She did want to spend time with Brittany and she knew she had been wanting to make new friends so what better way to spend time with her and look after her all in one? She could also make sure no one touches her. She didn't know why she was so protective but she liked the blonde. She was different to everyone else and she loved that since she wasn't a bitch like most girls around the town. She could even admit that she was a bitch at times, but just by looking at Brittany, she could tell that she wasn't like that. She smiled at the blonde and nodded.

"I would love to," Santana replied looking into her eyes. Damn, her eyes were beautiful. They were definitely going to be her weakness just like they had be lately. "What time is the bonfire?"

" _I'm not actually sure yet. Mercedes said she would text me and-_ " Brittany began then heard her phone. She opened her bag looking for her phone which she heard ringing at the bottom of her bag. She emptied it finally finding it and looked at the message.

**From Mercedes: Hey girl. Sorry about rearranging. My Uncle's idea. Come to the beach tonight at 9 :)**

She showed the message to Santana who read it. Now all they had to do is figure out how they would get there. Well they could take Santana's car since she couldn't drive but that was if she would be okay with that. She didn't want to ask though because she always thought that was rude, but they did need a way of getting there.

"Okay how about I pick you up tonight at 8 tonight?" Santana suggested looking at Brittany who smiled and nodded.

"Wait," Rachel interrupted finally pulling herself away from Quinn looking at the other two girls. "Where are you going tonight?"

" _Bonfire._ "

"Bonfire? No one told me about that." Rachel says looking at them. "Where is it?

" _The beach about an hour away_." Brittany states then plays with her food. She had to admit she was going to ask Rachel and Quinn too so they can all be together, but she had been focusing on talking to Santana. Hopefully that didn't sound too bad. It wasn't like she didn't care about the other two, she just cared about Santana more. "Mercedes invited me."

"Mercedes?" Quinn asked looking at her to confirm what she said. "As in the diva? Friend of Sam?"

Brittany nods. " _I met her when Sam took me to get some lunch yesterday_."

Rachel smiled at her friend. She was glad she was finally getting some friends because she had never been that good at forming relationships with people due to her not being able to talk or be able to be touched by anyone. The thing was that she was surprised that she had formed a close relationship with Santana. The blonde had only ever wanted to form a relationship with certain people even though she knew she never judged people, which was odd with how other people judged her. It really annoyed her the way people looked at her as all she wanted to do was something to make them stop staring at her. Brittany was against violence so she wouldn't do anything, but only for Brittany.

"I'm glad you met some new people Britt." Rachel says eating her food. "You've grown confidence since you came here. I'm proud of you." She added smiling at her.

Brittany smiles. " _Thanks Rach_."

Santana stood up and stretched. Brittany watched as her top rode up so her stomach was revealed. She couldn't help but see how toned her stomach was. Well Santana had seen her stood in the locker room standing in her gym shorts and bra. It wasn't like she wasn't doing anything bad...right? She was staring at the brunette when she jumped hearing Sam's voice in her ear.

"Don't make it too obvious Britt. She'll notice." Sam smirked from behind her.

Brittany jumped in surprised looking at him. She glared as he sat down beside her. She was not happy he had just done that. He was the reason she had to look away from Santana's hotness and now there was a chance they could have noticed her staring. She turned to Sam as he sat down beside her. She felt eyes on her from everyone on the table but she ignored them. She got her phone and typed out a message showing it to Sam.

**You better not tell anyone about my crush on Santana!**

Sam laughed and nodded. "Don't worry I won't say a word."

She nodded and turned round to face everyone. She looked at Santana who was smirking at her. Damn. She noticed her staring. She could easily go find a hole and bury herself into it. She had to be careful with her leering but seriously, she couldn't stop thinking about how sexy the Latina was. Not her fault in her opinion as she was in the way of where she was looking. If she didn't want her looking, she should have been stood somewhere else. Okay that was a terrible excuse. She'll probably know soon that she likes her if she isn't careful.

Santana was staring at Brittany since she was deep in thought. She had noticed the blonde checking her out as her top had ridden up her stomach slightly. It definitely made her feel good that she had been staring at her stomach. She did work out frequently such as going for a run every day along with other sports during the week such as kick boxing and swimming, which she usually did on Saturdays. It relaxed her after the week she had at school. She always noticed how beautiful the blonde was, but did that means she had a crush on her? Probably. But she was not ready to admit that to her right now. It was too early with only knowing her for a few weeks and even though she had often had sex way before a few weeks with girls before, Brittany was not like any other girl. She was special. Unique. She could literally imagine spending more time with her than just the usual ten minutes she did with other girls. Quinn, Rachel and Sam always said how unhealthy it was, but she never cared. It was her life and she wanted to live it the way she wanted. Plus, with her parents out all the time, she could have as many girls as she wanted in the house without them knowing. She never got to know the girl's name and usually forgot it by morning. She hated the reputation she had, but it was all on her. She didn't want to add Brittany to that. She wanted to make her feel special and like a princess. The way she deserves. Not just have sex and never see each other again. Plus it was kind of hard with the no touching, so it wasn't like she could do that anyway even if she tried. Not that she would! But...you know...just saying. She was going to go and work out but the blonde stopped her. She loved the attention she got from her. Santana felt like they were the only two people in the room when Brittany looked at her. She wished they were if she was being honest.

"Okay so to stop the staring competition between you and Britt, how about we all get to class?" Sam asked standing up. Santana snapped out of it and looked at him nodding.

"Alright but just so you know, you are so on my list Evans!" Santana glared and walked out of the cafeteria hearing Sam laughing behind her. She was definitely not happy about that. She would get him for that for interrupting the eye contact she was having with Brittany. Damn him and his big mouth which was actually true. He did have a big mouth. Santana stormed off towards lesson having images of the blonde going through her head.

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Santana walked into her house closing the door. As per usual, no one was in. Well that wasn't surprising since her parents always worked and they didn't ever seem to care about what she was doing. She swears they know about how much she sleeps around, but they never say anything. The both of them were accepting of the fact that she was a lesbian which was great. She had dreaded the day she had told them about it because she was so nervous. She remembers it as though it was only yesterday. She had been 14 years old and even though that was quite young to know who you was going to love for the rest of your life, she knew. She had never been interested in boys in school and always looked at girls. She even knew she was into blondes because she remembers having a teacher called Holly Holliday as her substitute in History. She remembers how she always used to stare at her ass when she walked down between the desks and when she turned around to write on the board. Don't judge. She was smoking hot. So when she knew she couldn't hide it any longer she went home to her parents to tell them how she felt and they had totally understood and told her how proud they were for telling them. Since then, they had always teased her about any girl that came into the house. And she means every girl. Once her mum teased her when she brought Rachel home for a sleep over. She still had Rachel laughing about it.

She walked upstairs throwing her bag down on the floor. Santana's room was a mess but if it was already messy, what would her bag do to the mess really? She knew she had to tidy it sooner or later but as per usual, she chose later. She stripped off the clothes she had on at school going to the closet picking out her running clothes and trainers. Without fail, she always went for a run after school and on weekends. She had to make people want her, and in Santana's opinion, being chubby wouldn't do that for her. She could totally fall for someone who was, but she couldn't be chubby herself. Self esteem issue. Plus whilst she grew up, her dad had always said that you had to look fit and healthy for people to like you. She found out in school that it wasn't exactly true. But she knew, for her, she had to be fit and healthy. So this is why she went for a run every day. She needed to. She grabbed her headphone and iPod putting the earphones in her ear. She walked downstairs having a drink of water then stretched. She was not going to have sore legs and muscles by not stretching. It had happened before and she hated it. She always made sure to stretch after that. Once she was all stretched and hydrated she went out locking the door then switched her music on starting to run down the street. The feeling of thewind in her hair was an amazing feeling whilst she ran. She just loved feeling her muscles at work and how what she had been eating was getting burnt off. It wasn't like she was anorexic or anything like that but she did like her figure. She was very strict on her diet. She doesn't eat junk food which meant no crisps, no chocolate and no take away's. Actually, she had never even had a take away before since her family was just as strict as she grew up. She enjoyed it though because they always worked out together as a family, but that stopped once they got more into their work. So now, she just did this herself.

Santana ran around the corner into the park when she bumped into someone. She ended up falling on her arm which hurt like hell. Whoever had done that would seriously be on her list! She stood up and turned to see the person she had bumped into, or in her opinion, bumped into her. But that all changed when she saw familiar sparking blue eyes looking at her. She looked down her body seeing Brittany in a crop top and shorts. Fuck, she was gorgeous. She looked at Brittany who was smirking at her. She shook her head smiling

"Sorry Britt. My fault completely." Santana apologized dusting herself off. "I didn't know you ran."

" _I didn't know you did either_." Brittany stated smiling. " _And it was my fault San, don't worry. I don't look where I'm going usually. It's not the first time its happened._ " The Latina nodded smiling. She knew it was her fault but she didn't want to blame her for it. She was too innocent and she liked that about her. Innocent and beautiful. She knew that if she got to know her more, she would be far than innocent. It made her curious and excited at the same time and want to know her more. She knew they were getting close and she also had a feeling that Brittany had a crush on her too, but she wasn't going to act on it as she knew it was too early for that. She wanted to be positive about it before she acted upon it.

"I'm still sorry Britt. How about we run together?" Santana suggested taking her earphones out. "I'd love to see if Miss Brittany Pierce can keep up with me."

Brittany smirked stepping forward standing close to her signing to her friend. " _I think the question is if you can keep up with me_." Brittany then ran ahead leaving a shocked Santana behind. She knew she had shocked the Latina just then as she ran but before she knew it, Santana had caught up with her. Wow. She definitely had competition now.

"Nice move Pierce. But let's see how fast you can run. Race you to the other end of the park. Ready?"

Brittany nodded. She got ready then ran as Santana said three. She had always loved running because it was soothing since it allowed her to clear her head about everything when Motocross couldn't. She hadn't raced in a while, but she seemed to be doing pretty well right now. Santana was slightly behind her so she picked up the pace running through the park jumping over the bench running through the playground dodging everyone. She saw Santana going around smirking at her. This was actually pretty fun running with her. Brittany finally got out the park jumping over the bushes in the way. She was pretty good at that in school but she didn't want to brag. High jump was one of the things she was actually good at. Brittany was now back on the path running to the finish line. She felt Santana behind her and she was not a person to lose so she sped up and made it to the other end of the park with the Latina just behind her. She was panting so she grabbed her bottle of water having some then handing it to Santana who was panting just as much.

Santana took the bottle having a drink. She had actually gotten beaten by her. She was impressed. "Woah, I didn't know you could run like that!"

Brittany smiled. " _Thanks. You are pretty fast yourself_."

Santana laughed. "Thanks. You run often?"

Brittany sat on the bench with Santana following her. " _I do. I run every morning usually but I forgot this morning, so I just decided to now. I didn't know you did though._ "

"My family are pretty big on fitness, so I do every day." Santana admitted taking another sip of the water before handing it back to Brittany. "We're pretty healthy."

" _That's really cool. You exercise a lot then?_ " Brittany asked taking a sip of water too. She put it on the side looking at Santana leaning her head on her fist. She saw her nod.

"I do. We don't have any junk food and it's all about keeping healthy. I agree though because I don't eat junk food either." Santana admits looking at the blonde. She looked shocked.

" _Wait, so you never have pizza? Or just decided to go to McDonalds?_ " Brittany asked surprised. How can she never have junk food?! Being healthy is important but eating junk food is important too. Such as eating ice cream when you're upset. Seriously, ice cream is her savor sometimes.

"No. Never."

Brittany stood up. She shook her head. This was definitely not acceptable. She had to introduce this woman to junk food so she did let her constant diet go occasionally. She knew it would be stressful being healthy all the time. You had to be careful about what you ate constantly and that was no fun at all. Santana looked at her questioningly.

" _Get up. We're going to McDonalds_."

Santana stood up and shook her head. "Brittany, do you know how many calories are in a McDonalds? No, I can't."

" _You can and you will. Live a little. There is more to life than dieting and exercising_."

Santana looked at her. She did have a point. It was tiring dieting all the time, but she knew she would feel awful if she did this. But then again, it was for Brittany. That was her excuse. She decided that if she was going to have to eat junk food then she would be doing something for her.

"Alright I will eat junk food, but on one condition." Santana concluded looking at her friend.

" _Okay that's fair_." Brittany replied nodding picking her water up again drinking some. " _What is it?_ "

Santana stepped up to her and smirked. "You have to admit you have a crush on me."


	12. Chapter 12

Was this a joke? She was shocked. Did she really have the confidence to tell her something like that? Of course she had a crush on her, but what exactly was she supposed to tell her? That she had liked her ever since she saw her? That sometimes she dreamt about kissing her and touching her? That all she wanted to do was hold her and touch her but knew she wouldn't be able to just yet? What exactly could she tell her? She looked at Santana who was waiting for an answer. Was she being serious or was she joking? She wanted more than anything to just tell her she liked her but it wasn't as easy as that. She was glad that she didn't talk or she was sure she would have embarrassed herself by now. She saw Santana begin to laugh so she knew it must have been a joke. Now she could breathe.

"Breathe Britt," Santana laughed looking at her, "I was only kidding."

Brittany nodded and smiled looking at her fingers then started moving her hands. " _So...can we go?_ "

Santana smiled and nodded. "Yeah lets go."

The both of them decided that they'd go home and change before meeting each other so they wasn't sitting in there, sweating or smelling. Brittany walked to her house walking inside. She walked upstairs stripping her clothes off getting into the shower. She wanted to smell and look nice when she met Santana. She just wanted to impress her. She turned the shower on and got in. Funnily enough it was true what people said about doing your thinking in the shower. It was exactly what she did. Whenever she needed to think about something she just got in the shower. If it was a problem she had or just to get away from everyone and think. It was very useful. And warm. She had to keep an eye on the time so she washed herself and her hair then got out walking to her room to get ready with the towel wrapped around her. She looked through her clothed ending up throwing a lot of them onto the floor. She didn't get why she was acting like this as it wasn't a date or anything, but she needed to look perfect. It was Santana and she always looked good. Okay she could do this. Maybe if she dried herself up she would spot something to wear. Brittany decided that was a better idea then walked away going to dry her hair.

After around half an hour she finally decided what to wear and was able to get ready and leave the house. Brittany decided on wearing a pair of skinny jeans, one of her favorite tops and a leather jacket. She looked pretty good in her opinion. She even decided to straighten her hair and actually try. When she finally gets a date with the brunette she would really have to up her game. Well...if she gets a date with the girl is what she meant to say. It's not like Santana likes her or anything. Brittany locked her house and made her way towards McDonalds. They had decided that it was best just to meet there so no one was rushing around to try and get to the others house quickly. It was only down the road anyway. Brittany put her earphones in her ears plugging them into her iPod. She flicked through her songs trying to find one she wants to listen to. The thing with the music she liked listening to was that not many people had heard of the bands or singers she did listen to. They weren't as popular as the artists you hear on the radio, so many people didn't know who they were. It was exactly how she felt sometimes. She wasn't part of the popular crowd and many people didn't know who she was. Brittany finally found a song to listen to clicking on it then putting her iPod in her pocket after locking the screen. She smiled listening to the lyrics.

_And if all the flowers faded away_

_And if all the storm clouds decided to stay_

_Then you would find me_

_Each hour the same_

_Cause she is tomorrow_

_And I am today_

_Cause if right is leaving_

_I'd rather be wrong_

_Cause she is the sunlight_

_The sun is gone_

Brittany listened to the lyrics carefully. She liked the tune in a song but she always paid extra attention to the lyrics because she loved figuring out what the song meant or what message the song was trying to put across. In this song, she thought that the singer might have been singing about his girlfriend or about someone he liked. She liked songs like this because it was easy relatable. If anything, she could relate it to Santana. Santana was exactly what the song said. Sunlight. She was the sunlight in her life. She made it better for her and even though before she had a reason to get up every day, now she had even more reason. She got to see her.

_And if loving her is_

_Is heartache for me_

_And if holding her means_

_That I have to bleed_

_Then I am the martyr_

_Love is to blame_

_Cause she is the healing_

_And I am the pain_

_She lives in a daydream_

_(She lives in a daydream)_

_Where I don't belong_

_Cause she is the sunlight_

_And the sun is gone_

Whoever was singing the song, she never did look that up, must have loved this person a lot. The lyrics were quite deep and about how the singer would do anything to be with her. It was sweet to think about. Whilst Brittany was walking she didn't know she was so close to McDonalds as she always got lost into her music. She liked it though. It allowed her to escape to a world she can control. One where anything is possible and how she can do anything she wants. She even imagines talking and singing in them. She continued walking listening to the song. It was one of her favorites and she knows her iPod must be getting quite annoyed with her for playing it so much. Well it would have to get over it really.

_And it will take this life of regret_

_For my heart to learn to forget_

_Tomorrow will be as it always has been_

_And I will fall to her again_

_For I know I have come too close_

_Cause if right is leaving_

_I'd rather be wrong_

_Cause she is the sunlight_

_And the sun is gone_

_She is the sunlight_

_And the sun is gone_

Brittany smiled as the song finished. Such a beautiful song and it had such a beautiful message. To her, the meaning of the song is about how a guy, or girl in her opinion, loves a girl but she doesn't love them as more than a friend. It is very sad when that happens. But this person loves this woman and even though it is 'right' as it says in the song to just give up, they would rather stay 'wrong' and stay by her side even though he will be going through heartache doing so. To the man, or woman, the woman brings sunlight into their life which is why he wants to stay. It is beautiful to her and she hopes that one day she can find a woman like that. Who just lights up the room when they walk in and brings sunlight into her life like the woman in the song does.

Brittany walks into McDonalds and sees Santana sat down waiting for her. She smiles as she does. She knows that Santana is that sun to her. The person who lights up her life. She walks up to her and sits down opposite her. Santana looked up and saw the blonde. Okay, she looked so beautiful right now.

" _Hey_ ," Brittany said in greeting smiling at her, " _I hope I'm not too late. I wanted a shower_."

Santana shook her head as she looked at the blonde. She look so...perfect. Her hair was straight with a little make-up on her face, but it was barely noticeable. She was wearing a black leather jacket with a red top underneath showing off her figure. She couldn't see below the waist but still. She was stunning. Brittany was looking at her smirking. She was now checking her out. Santana shook her head to stop her from staring looking at Brittany smiling.

"It's okay don't worry about it. You look amazing." Santana complimented pushing a drink in front of her. "I got you a small coke if that's okay."

Brittany nodded taking a sip of it through the straw. " _Thank you. So are you getting anything?_ " Brittany asked noticing nothing was in front of her.

"Well I've never eaten here so...what do you suggest?" Santana asked trusting the blonde's judgement. She'd probably been here a lot more than she has so she would know more about what there was.

Brittany grinned and motioned for her to get up going to the counter. She knew what they could have. They should probably share though since she didn't want to push Santana too much. "Okay how about you get a chicken burger?" Suggested Brittany to the Latina when she finally got to where she was. She usually had chicken nuggets but they could get a chicken burger meal between them. She didn't mind sharing.

"Umm...what do you usually have?" Santana asked shyly. "We can have what you usually have and share."

Brittany nodded in agreement. " _I usually get a chicken nugget medium meal with a strawberry milkshake._ "

Santana smiled getting her purse out. "Okay I'll order it and then you can sit down." Santana told her, but Brittany shook her head. She wanted to stay with her. Santana smiled and waited in line with her. She was glad Brittany wanted to get her out of her comfort zone. She had no idea how her parents would react but she didn't care. When were they home anyway? It was a shock when they were home to be honest so she never expected anything. Once she was at the counter she ordered their food what Brittany had told her then waited whilst they served it. She always kind of wanted to come in here but she was a little worried about her parents. She didn't know why she didn't care now but that wasn't an issue for her now. She was old enough to make her own decisions after all.

" _So are you excited for your first McDonalds?_ " Brittany asked happily grinning at her. How could she say no to that face? Santana nodded smiling.

"I am Britt-Britt," Santana replied as the cashier got their food ready, "I hope it is as good as you say."

" _It's going to be even better!_ " Brittany said walking to get the straw and tomato sauce. She walked back putting it on their tray seeing their food was done. She took the tray walking back to their seat putting it in the middle of the table. She watched as Santana sat across from her. She took a fry and put it in front of Santana's mouth. She was determined to break her healthy eating habit. Yes, it was important to eat healthy but there had to be a balance. She raised her eyebrow to Santana who opened her mouth and took a bite. She smiled and let go of it letting Santana hold it herself. She took a fry and dipped it in the tomato ketchup eating it. She watched for Santana's reaction not sure about how she would react.

" _So how is it?_ " Brittany asked curiously.

Santana nodded and smiled. "It's nice Britt. It's really nice actually. Can't believe my parents kept me from this for so long!"

Brittany grinned and ate another chip then reached for the drink having some of it. She always forgot how cold it was until she was drinking it. Like now. Damn it was cold! She was happy though as Santana was relaxing a little more and she even got to go to the bonfire tonight and have fun with her there. She had no idea was what happening but she was just glad she was going to be able to celebrate with her. She was special, different and unique and that was what she loved about her. She wasn't someone who was just in the background. She let herself be heard when she was talking with her friends. Maybe when she was in class too as she had seen the Latina on many occasions going against the teacher when she knew she was right. It was a good quality to have though. But one thing she couldn't picture was how her parents were. Santana never seemed to talk about them and the only time she really heard about them was when she told her about how they didn't like her eating junk food. She didn't want to pry as it was her life and it wasn't like she talked about her home life a lot either. Only because she hated her home life. She just wanted to know the girl in front of her. But she should probably let her do that at her own pace. Not just because she wanted to know about her. Brittany watched as Santana ate the food with her. She actually seemed happy about it.

"You're not going to drink all of that, are you?" Santana teased remembering what happened at Rachel's house. Brittany blushed and gave it to her letting her have some. Yeah, she forgot that she was sharing everything with Santana.

Santana chuckled taking the drink from the blonde. She was actually enjoying this meal and she had even forgotten how unhealthy it was since it tasted so good. She looked at the blonde smiling.

" _What?_ " Brittany asked eating one of the nuggets that had yet to be touched.

"How do you do it?" Santana asked putting the drink down on the table.

" _Do what?_ " Brittany asked curiously.

"You just go through life not caring about what people think of you," Santana answered looking at her, "I don't understand how you do it."

Brittany smiled. " _That's not true. I care more than what I let on_."

"But you just don't let things get to you. Like when Karofsky touched you, all you said was that you were happy before that since it was your first party. I don't get you." Santana explained seating another one of the fries.

Brittany smiled. " _That is part of the mystery. So you'll want to know more_." Brittany winked smirking.

"I will always want to know more." Santana whispered. Brittany couldn't help but smile. She was glad that Santana was interested in her and wanted to get to know her. It meant that they were on the same page which was always a good thing.

" _I want to get to know you too Santana_." Brittany admitted smiling.

Santana smiled and ate some more of the food that was in front of them. The both of them sat and ate quietly not needing anything else to be said. It was a comfortable silence and all the both of them could think was how perfect it was.

xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany and Santana arrived at the bonfire with Quinn and Rachel. After they had their meal at McDonalds earlier they spent some time at Santana's house before they had to go and pick Rachel up. It was a hassle because when they got there Rachel wasn't even ready then they had to wait for Quinn. Seriously, you would think they could at least be on time to something she invited them to, but no. So they ended up leaving half a hour later than they should have. They got out of the car and walked onto the beach. Everyone was chatting with one another and looked like they were having a good time. She remembered Mercedes saying something about her uncle having his friends too which made sense seeing as there were older women and men here. As they walked on Mercedes came up to them to greet them.

"Hey guys! Glad you could all make it." Mercedes greeted smiling. "Oh and Britt I told everyone about your no touching and no talking and everyone was cool with it. Hope that was okay."

Brittany nodded smiling. Thank god she wouldn't have to go around with people trying to speak to her. That was the last thing she needed.

" _It's okay. Sorry we are late Rachel and Quinn took ages to get ready so we left half an hour late_." Brittany signed forgetting that Mercedes probably didn't know sign language. She saw Mercedes smile sadly. Yeah, she didn't know it.

"Sorry Britt I don't know sign language," Mercedes said feeling bad that they couldn't talk.

"Don't worry about it. Britt said that it's okay and that she's sorry we're late." Santana said helping Brittany out at what she was trying to say. "Rachel and Quinn took ages to get ready so we left half an hour late. So blame them. I added that at the end because it is totally their fault."

"Hey!" Rachel protested crossing her arms. "Next time call us when you are coming to pick us up!"

"Britt text you, so you had no excuse." Santana argued smirking.

Mercedes laughed. "Alright well have fun. Booze is over there at the bar and I'm sure you'll know pretty much everyone here."

Brittany nodded and walked off onto the beach. She had never been here at night before and it looked beautiful. She had never been to the beach at night so it was awesome to see. Brittany decided to walk closer to the sea looking over it. She knew that she wouldn't be able to talk to many people because not many people knew sign language. It was difficult for her to have a social life with the way that she was. It was lucky that she could talk to Santana and Rachel in all honesty. Well, Rachel took sign language class with her but for Quinn and Sam to know what she is saying is different. She was surprised that they could but it made her smile. They had put the effort in so they could understand her. When people did that they had no idea what it meant to her. It made her feel good about herself because it was another person who understood her. Not even her own parents did that and they lived with her. It was difficult with parents like that and she knew that if it was her brother, he would have put the effort in. Zack was like that and that's why they got along so well. She always wondered what he would look like now. They would have looked similar with them being twins but she imagined him being tall with muscles and gelled up blonde hair. Brittany looked up at the sky and smiled. A part of her had always been missing but that was only because they were twins so she didn't expect any different. His room was still the way it was when they were kids and no one ever went in there. She couldn't even go in there and it had been 10 years now. It remained untouched but that was how the family coped. No one outside the family was to go into that room either. But everyone knew that.

Brittany was so caught up in her thought she had no idea Rachel had come up to her. She went up to Brittany and stood beside her watching her look up at the sky. She knew who she was thinking about so she left her to it without interrupting. She knew she needed moments like this to think about him. She didn't wait very long before Brittany lowered her head looking at her.

" _Zack would have understood_ ," Brittany began looking at her, " _he would never let anyone bully me or pick on me when we were in preschool. He was always there to protect me. I know that if I stopped speaking when he was alive he would have learnt sign language just so we could speak. Why won't my parents do the same?_ "

Rachel didn't have an answer for that. She couldn't give an answer that Brittany would like as it was true. She had no idea why they wouldn't do the same for her. Were they still hurting? Did they blame Brittany? She had no idea but whatever they were doing they were hurting Brittany in the process. Rachel shook her head and went for the honest answer. "I don't know, honey."

Brittany nodded looking over the ocean. She sighed knowing that Rachel was telling the truth. No one had any idea why her parents acted the way they did. " _I don't know either, Rach. I wish they would just try._ "

Rachel nodded in sympathy. She wished Brittany's parents would care more about their daughter. She needed the help and she needed them. It was Brittany's birthday in a week and she wanted to give her a birthday party as she never usually has one. She knows that Brittany never had any friends at her old school but she had plenty here. Maybe she could talk to everyone whilst she walked around. Brittany was private so she probably never even told anyone it was her birthday next week since she didn't think it was a big deal. She knew her friend hated it due to it being Zack's birthday too. They had always had a joint party but now they couldn't do that, Brittany spent the day mourning over the death of Zack. She wanted to get her out of that habit though. She deserved a good birthday this year.

"Britt?" Rachel asked cautiously. She knew she had to be careful bringing this up because if it came out wrong, Brittany would be upset for the rest of the night.

" _Yeah?_ " Brittany replied looking at her.

"Well it's your birthday next week and I know you usually spend it alone due to it being Zack's birthday too but I was wondering if you would think about having a party this year." Rachel suggested looking at her. That sounded alright thankfully.

" _Who would come exactly?_ " Brittany asked sighing. " _I'm not exactly popular, Rachel_."

"Of course they would. You're amazing." Rachel reassured not wanting her friend to be down over this. Many people did in fact like her and she could tell. "We can invite Quinn, Puck, Sam, Mercedes, Mike, Finn and I have a couple of other friends that I want to introduce you to tonight. Plus, there is Santana who would love to spend your birthday with you."

Brittany's face lit up. She had never had so many people like her before so she was definitely happy over it. Plus, hearing that Santana would want to spend her birthday with her made her happy. She didn't even think about telling her since she didn't think she'd care. She told Liz in the past and she just shrugged not caring. She didn't like telling people things anyway. The one thing she didn't tell people about was Zack. She hadn't even told Rachel about what happened to him. But since she has been at McKinley she has had a lot more friends. She knew it's what Zack would want.

" _Well...I guess we could_." Brittany agreed nodding. " _But you organize it as I can't do that. And no surprises!_ "

Rachel squealed happily and nodded. "Yes! Thanks Britt. And I swear there will be no surprises. I know you don't like them much. I'll go tell everyone. I'll come by later okay?"

Brittany laughed and ushered her away watching her run off. She smiled and looked up at the sky. She closes her eyes and took a deep breath. She sat down in the sand. It wasn't like the bonfire wasn't fun, but she just liked sitting by herself at stuff like this. She was enjoying herself though which was why you come to these parties. She felt someone come sit beside her. She turned her head and saw Santana there holding a drink in her hand. She smiled taking it. " _Thank you._ "

"You're welcome," Santana said in reply, "any reason why you're sat here by yourself looking at the sky?"

" _Yes, but I don't want to talk about it,_ " Brittany replied taking a sip of her drink once she had finished then putting it on the sand between her legs. " _It's private_."

"I understand. Are you okay?"

" _Yeah I'm good_."

"I'm glad, Britt. So...Rachel told me it's your birthday next week." Santana said with a smile on her face.

Brittany groaned in response. How had she told her so fast? " _That girl can talk to people so fast it is unbelievable. Yes, it is my birthday next week. Sorry I didn't tell you_."

Santana laughed nodding in agreement, Rachel was fast at talking to people when she had found something out or she was talking to people about something she was planning. She had seen that for herself.

"Oh believe me I know how fast she can talk to people. Witnessed it myself. And don't worry about it. But now I only have a week to find the perfect gift for you, so you will have to make do with what I find now." Santana stated smirking looking at her joking around. Of course she could find the perfect gift in a week, but she liked joking around with her.

" _I will be happy with just seeing you so I'm sure I'll cope_ ," Brittany replied smiling.

"Don't worry I'll be there."

Brittany smiled. She was glad she'd have her there as that's the one person she wanted to see. Santana. She had shown how good of a friend she can be, but there was also the fact that they did flirt. She had noticed this as well. She flirted with her when they were texting at night and it made more butterflies come alive in her stomach. She liked it but she didn't know how long it would take before she breaks and tells her how she feels. She wanted to tell her earlier that she liked her, but she couldn't. She wasn't going to do things too fast.

"How about we go mingle with this crowd of people? " Santana suggested standing up. "I'm sure they're all dying to see you."

Brittany laughed standing up. " _Okay, but I'm sure they're not dying to see me_."

"One day they will be when you become this famous Motocross racer."

" _Nah because they'll get free passes to come see me. I'll make sure of it._ " She says smiling. " _Well, the ones I want to see me anyway_."

Santana laughed in response and nodded. "Okay, you have an answer for everything. Let's just go find some people to talk to so you don't seem like a loner."

Brittany smirked. " _I think you just want to make yourself seem not so lonely_."

"As if Pierce!"

Brittany winked at her. "If you say so. You're secret is safe with me" Brittany then walked off into the distance looking for people to talk to. She heard Santana call her name and race after her. It was funny when she thinks about it. This girl was totally whipped and they weren't even dating. This was going to be a fun night.


	13. Chapter 13

Santana was laying in bed feeling awful. Ever since she had eaten that ice cream and McDonalds with Brittany, she had felt horrible. She had been throwing up all morning which meant she couldn't go into school. She had already text Brittany about her not feeling well so she knew that she wouldn't be there. She couldn't help but feel bad for leaving her though because they did hang out a lot during school hours so for her to just not go in was quite unusual. Her parents wanted her to attend school as much as possible since they were very big on her getting a job that paid a lot of money like a lawyer or a doctor. She didn't even want to be any of those. It took up too much time and with all of the studying she would be doing then where des her social life fall? She wouldn't even have one and she enjoyed socialising and hanging out with her friends. She wasn't going to allow her parents to choose her career for her though. It was her life and she was going to live it the way she wanted to and not the way they had planned it out. She had already been deprived of eating junk food and she didn't want to have her life taken away from her too. When she heard about Brittany and her motocross she was inspired by her. Just from looking at her she could tell she would be an amazing racer and even though she knew Brittany was a great racer now and looked happy where she was, Santana couldn't help but imagine her becoming a star with it. Well it was either that or dancing. She had caught the blonde dancing in the choir room and she was amazing. For someone so quiet, she showed off her personality through other things she does. For example when she can't do work she sits there and doodles in her book. She had seen the doodles she does and they're actually really good. She's done bubble writing before and she had to admit, it looked just like it should. Then she had drawn animals such as a cat and dog. She even shocked her when she saw her drawing a person. Santana could tell she could do art but she wasn't in her art class to do it. The only reason for that was because she couldn't draw at all. Literally, when she draws people she draws stick people.

When Santana looked at herself that morning in the mirror, she looked pale and ill. She was never usually ill due to her diet but today, she looked awful. She knew she looked awful without make up on anyway, but not usually as bad as now. She looked pale and she just felt sick in general. She hadn't told her parents about eating the ice cream and McDonalds since they would not be very happy with her but, in her opinion, it is her life so they can't say anything. Santana knew for a fact that her mami only started eating healthy after meeting her papi. Before that she ate junk food too. So, to be honest, how can her mami tell her not to eat it when she did herself? Santana was looking at a magazine when her phone went off. She reached over picking it up smiling after seeing who it is.

**From Britt-Britt: Hey San! I have a free period now and Sam has gone out the room so I decided to see how you were feeling. How is my favourite person? Shhh don't tell Rachel ;) xx**

Santana laughed a little. Brittany never failed to make her smile. It was just the way she is. Brittany was such a happy person she couldn't help but smile at when they were together. Or even just texting. It was as though Brittany had no reason to feel sad even though Santana knew that there was something she was hiding from her. She didn't want to butt in Brittany's life since it was none of her business but she just wanted her to feel like she can open up to her.

**To Britt-Britt: Hey Britt :) I'm glad you text me I am super bored and I feel awful. I have been sick at least 4 times today and I don't seem to be getting better. That's what I get for being nice and taking you out for ice cream :P xx**

**From Britt-Britt: San why did you take me out there if you can't eat it?! That was silly of you. We could have gone somewhere else you know. I hear Breadstix is good! xx**

**To Britt-Britt: Oh my god Breadstix is awesome! I shall take you there next time :D And well that's not my fault. I felt like being nice to you that day. My parents would kill me though so if you meet them don't say anything. It'll be our little secret :) xx**

**From Britt-Britt: Ooo I can totally keep that secret for you. I am a super dooper secret keeper! Well the not talking does help at keeping secrets :P xx**

**To Britt-Britt: Haha yes that is true :) xx**

**From Britt-Britt: Damn, Sam is back. Gotta go. I'll call round later, okay? xx**

**To Britt-Britt: Can't wait :) xx**

Santana put her phone down and sighed. She really liked the blonde but she didn't want to come on too strong. Plus, since she can't touch her she didn't want to freak her out. Santana really wanted to be able to hug Brittany and hold her hand but she knew that Brittany needed to work on that and, as much as she wanted to do those things, good things come to those that wait. She knew she wanted to talk to Brittany about getting help with her anxiety to touch people and speaking but if she just told Brittany to go and get help, it most likely wouldn't happen. It was always best to go at these things with caution because one thing that Santana didn't want was Brittany getting scared and getting further into her anxiety. Overall, Brittany was happy and Santana could tell that but one thing can always knock a person down. Santana heard her stomach rumble so she got up and walked down the stairs to the kitchen to get herself a sandwich. Santana heard the door and knew her mami was home. She decided to make her sandwich quickly so she could avoid conversation with her mother as it never turned out well. Her name was Maribel and she had been married to her husband for 20 years. They met when Maribel was 20 and got married when she was 25. It was love at first sight for her and she wouldn't ever regret it. The man made her life better. Santana saw her mother walk into the kitchen as she turned around putting the plate on the counter.

"What are you doing home?" Santana asked cutting her sandwich.

"I finished work early but why are you home?" Maribel asked walking into the kitchen putting her keys on the counter turning to her daughter. "You should be at school."

"I felt ill." Santana turned around not wanting to look at her mother; she felt like she was going to throw up. "But I told you that this morning that I felt ill so I shouldn't have to tell you again."

"I didn't think you were telling the truth Santana because you are never ill." Maribel confessed, because it was true. None of the family were ever ill since they always ate healthily and they didn't do anything to become ill. So for her daughter to stand there and say she's ill was a bit of a shock. "How did you get ill anyway?"

Santana shrugs making a drink drinking it slowly. She didn't want her mami to find out the real reason or she'd definitely be in the wrong with her parents and that wasn't what she wanted. "I don't know. I'm going to go lie down. When a blonde girl knocks on the door just let her in. She doesn't talk." With that, Santana walked upstairs to her bedroom. Maybe getting a couple of hours sleep would be better before Brittany got there since she would probably look better than she does now. Santana decided on that and got into bed and after a few minutes fell asleep. Maybe sleep was needed after all.

xxxxxxxxxx

Santana heard a faint buzzing in the background. She groaned opening her eyes looking around. Well she had fallen asleep for one but what was the noise that had woke her up? Santana yawned sitting up rubbing her eyes looking around to find her phone buzzing on the bedside table. She reached over and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Santana asked to hear the line go dead. She huffed putting the phone on the side when she heard the buzzing again. She picked her phone up looking at it to find a text from Brittany. Now she got why she had hung up. She phoned her to get her attention. Smart.

**From Britt-Britt: Hey San! Glad to see you are awake. Well I am sorry about waking you actually. I was just wondering what your address was because you never gave it to me so I tried texting you but you didn't reply so I had to ring you and when you answered I hung up since I don't talk and yeah. Sorry for waking you up if you were sleeping :( xx**

Santana couldn't help but laugh at the message. Brittany was so adorable at times which is why she was glad they were friends. She didn't know what she would do without her sometimes. She definitely made the day better when she was having a bad one. Santana shook her head in amusement and replied to the blonde.

**To Britt-Britt: Calm down and breathe. You are fine don't worry and I have to say it was smart of you to ring me. I was sleeping yes but I want to see you more so come on over. My address is 57 Charleston Road in Lima Heights. Know where that is? xx**

Santana sat up in bed feeling better. For some reason sleeping always made her feel better no matter how she was feeling before she fell asleep. Once she had a migraine and she felt awful but when she fell asleep she felt fine afterwards. She didn't get why her mother always told her that this family didn't get ill because she had been ill on a number of occasions but she always tried to keep that information away from her parents. The only reason for that was that they wanted a perfect family. Julian was off at college so there was just her and her parents in the house but they wanted everything perfect. Their house was the same. If someone was to walk into the Lopez house they would think it was just like a showing gallery or something like that. A house where you can look but can't touch. Yeah, that was what the house looked like. Santana heard her phone vibrate again. She smiled knowing who it was and read the message.

**From Britt-Britt: Oh thank god. I felt awful thinking I disturbed you from your dreams. I bet you have awesome dreams, right? Okay yes, I know where that is. So I shall see you soon! I missed you at school today you know. Not even Rachel could take your slot and she's my best friend. Anyway I will see you soon. I will go this time. Don't reply or I will stand here and text you. I have a problem with having to stop and text people. It's because I bump into things otherwise. There was this one time...okay no I will go now. I will tell you when I get there. See you soon! 3rd time's the charm ;) xx**

She put her phone down and got up going to her wardrobe. She didn't want to look bad when Brittany came over. She needed to look decent so she looked through her clothes to find some clothes to wear. It usually took Santana a while to find something to wear but luckily today wasn't one of those days. She picked a pair of skinny jeans, a tight, white top and a black jacket to go over the top. Well now she was dressed she didn't took terrible. Saying that Santana had gotten out of bed a few minutes ago, the clothes she had on made her look pretty hot. Always a bonus when trying to impress a girl. Well...was she trying to impress Brittany? Santana knew she was attracted to her but did she want to impress her? Well that was a stupid question. Of course she did. Brittany always looked hot so she wanted to do the same. To impress her. She smiled at herself in the mirror once she sorted her hair out so it looked decent. Before she knew it she heard the doorbell ring. She took one last look at herself before she heard her mother calling her to answer the door so she walked downstairs to the front door, takes a deep breath then opens it to see the blonde smiling at her with her school bag over her shoulder. Brittany looked beautiful.

" _Hey San. You look great_." Brittany blushed looking down after realising what she had said then got some books out of her bag handing them to the Latina. " _I brought you your Maths homework from lesson too plus some DVDs I watch when I'm ill so I thought we could watch them together_."

Santana took the books from the blonde and smiled. "Thanks Britt. Sorry, come on in."

Brittany walked into the house and looked around. She remembers it from the night she slept here when they came back from the party. It was a very big house and she remembered that which is how she knew it was the right one. The pair of them walked upstairs to Santana's bedroom so they didn't have to talk to Santana's mom. Not that Santana didn't love her, but seeing as Brittany was new to all of this she wanted to make sure it was kept as hassle free as possible.

" _I still can't get over how dark your room is_." Brittany commented looking around the room. " _Do you not get scared?_ "

She shook her head closing her bedroom door. Even as a child Santana wasn't scared of the dark. It just never bothered her since she liked dark colours anyway. Whenever a picture was drawn at school or playgroup, only dark colours like black, purple and dark blue were used. Her parents got used to it and started telling her how good the picture was and put them up on the fridge, but that was only after them getting used to the idea that their daughter didn't like using bright colours.

"Nope, I have never really liked bright colours. Which is why I am only really seen in dark colours. Unless you count red as bright then that is the only bright colour I wear because I look hot." Santana smirked walking to her bed laying down. "So you brought some DVDs with you?"

The blonde grinned and got them out of her bag putting them on the side. " _Yes I got Dear John, Marley And Me, Beauty And The Beast and also Aladdin. I like them all because I don't pick favourites since I don't think that is fair to all the other DVDs in my collection_."

Santana smiles. It was cute when she said things like that and she felt herself getting better already. Well that's the effect she had on her. She watched as the blonde got settled into her room looking at the DVDs she brought with her. Santana wanted to just go over there and hug her but she was not about to freak her out. It was hard having a crush on someone who didn't liked to be touched. She had to be careful about what she did and how she did things but the girl was worth it.

"How about we watch Aladdin? I haven't watched that in a while." Santana suggested whilst watching the blonde haired beauty try and choose a DVD without success. Okay, yes that was definitely her new name for Brittany. It suited her definitely. She saw her blue eyes light up and her head nod excitedly practically rushing to her DVD player. Luckily, her room was clean. Santana liked to be able to walk around her room without everything getting in the way. She watched as the blonde tried to figure out how to work the DVD player but without success. Santana shook her head and chuckled getting up and kneeling beside her turning on the DVD player. She didn't notice how close they were until she looked to the side after putting the DVD in. Brittany looked at the brunette. She looked so beautiful up close and all she wanted to do was kiss her. She wanted to get over the fear of not being able to have people touch her. She knew she could do it but she knew she would need a lot of support for this to happen. But looking at her now, she looked beautiful. She had never seen someone as beautiful as Santana before. She felt her heart begin to race. Why was she feeling like this? Her hands felt sweaty which usually meant that she was on the verge of having a panic attack, but it was different. Her mouth felt dry and she didn't want to look away from the woman in front of her. But suddenly fear started to overtake her. Santana was too close and she knew that if they went any further she would end up touching her. Brittany backed away and looked down signing. " _Sorry_."

Santana sighed. She thought that maybe they could have got somewhere but obviously not. They both got up and sat on the bed beside one another but with a gap big enough for Brittany to not freak out over it. Santana had to admit that this film was a classic. It was a classic Disney film and even though she would never admit it, she liked them. Santana turned her head and looked at Brittany as she watched the DVD that was on. It was obvious that the girl loved Disney films and even though foe many people it couldn't be seen as normal, she loved it as it showed her young side which isn't seen in a lot of people as they grow older. Brittany felt eyes on her so she turned to see Santana staring. She smiled.

" _What are you looking at?_ " Brittany asked putting the DVD case down on the bed.

"Nothing," Santana responded, "just at the view in front of me."

" _Oh yeah? What view is that?_ " Brittany asked her lips forming into a smirk.

Santana felt her heart beat faster and before she knew it she had already spoken what she wanted to say before she could stop herself. "You."

Brittany felt her heart beat faster . She was looking at her and was enjoying looking at her? Santana, who she had a crush on, was looking at her and was enjoying it? If Brittany hadn't been happy before, she certainly was now. She blushed and looked down at her hands smiling looking back up at Santana. She looked at Santana and moved to kneel looking at her. She looked at her not being able to look away.

" _Can you do me a favour?_ " Brittany asked curiously. She was going to do this. She had to now or she never would. She had to try.

Santana looked back looking at her curiously then smiled and nodded. "Of course. What do you want me to do?"

Brittany took a deep breath looking into her eyes. " _I want to try something. Just...stay still okay?_ "

Santana looked Brittany in the eyes then nodded wondering what she was going to do. Brittany had never been more nervous than she was right now. She had to do this though. For herself. If she could do this then she knew she would be able to go further on recovering and getting better. This was the first step that Brittany knew she had to take. She had to do this. For herself. And also for everyone around her who wanted her to get better. But the main person she wanted to do this for was Santana because she had seen the way she looked at her. Her eyes always showed how much she wanted to touch her. Brittany felt bad for Santana because she had to stop herself from touch her. Brittany wanted Santana to touch her but she knew she'd freak out so she knew starting to touch her was a first step. Baby steps was best. She knew after not touching anyone for 9 years she wasn't going to be able to go up to someone and hug them. It wasn't that simple. She saw Santana watching her curiously and that she had stayed still like she asked. Brittany took a deep breath and nodded and lifted her hand up moving it towards Santana. She saw Santana's eyes widen in shock and she knew she wasn't expecting this and, if she was being honest, she didn't either. Brittany focused on clearing her thoughts of fear and moved her hand towards Santana's cheek slowly. Slow was best so she didn't freak out even more and end up not doing it. She watched her hand and tried to only focus on herself. She had to. It might be selfish to do that but it was the only way she would be able to do this. Brittany watched her hand hover over Santana's cheek so she took the last step. She moved her fingertips slowly over the Latina's cheek moving them from her ear down to her jaw. She couldn't believe what she was doing but to be able to that with someone was incredible. Santana is the first person she had even thought about touching and now she was. Knelt next to her tracing her fingers over her cheek. She glanced at Santana's face to see her reaction. Santana had her eyes closed and she wasn't moving just like Brittany asked. She couldn't believe Brittany was touching her. She knew it must have taken a lot of courage to do what she was doing currently and Santana couldn't be more proud of her. Brittany smiled down at Santana and watched as she opened her eyes to look at her. Santana's brown eyes were looking into Brittany's blue ones whilst she caressed Santana's cheek. She loved the feeling of Santana's warm cheek under her fingers and Santana loved feeling Brittany's fingers move over her cheek. The both of them couldn't be happier over what was happening right now.

After a while Brittany finally extracted her hand from Santana's cheek. She smiled looking at her hand. She had done it. She had finally touched someone. It was only a small step to some people but to her, it was a big deal. She had touched someone. And on top of that, she had touched the one person she had a crush on. That made it much better in her opinion. She looked up to see Santana looking at her with a smile on her face. Santana was in as much shock and happiness as Brittany. She couldn't believe it had happened since she knew touching someone was a big deal for her. She smiled up at Brittany,

"You have no idea how proud I am of you for doing that." Santana praised smiling at her. "That was a big step and you took it."

Brittany blushed and smiled then looked up at Santana. " _I know. I just...after what you said to me about looking at me and enjoying what you were looking at, it just sparked something inside me. I knew it was now or never so I just...went for it_."

Santana smiled. "Well I am glad you did because now you have taken that step you can work on building on that. Is that what you want to do?"

She knew she wanted to. She wanted to do this for Santana. For everyone and especially herself. She wanted to get better because she knew that the way she was now wasn't the way she should be living. Brittany nodded. " _I want to get better but I can't do this alone. Will you support me through this? I need you._ "

Santana sat up and looked at her straight in the eyes. "I would never leave you, Brittany. I'll support you through it all, I promise. You can overcome this. I believe in you."

Being told someone believes in you is a huge deal since it shows that they do think you can do something. It makes you feel a lot better and that is how Brittany felt when she heard Santana tell her that. She knew she could do this and with Santana by her side and her other friends, she knew it would be easier to overcome the barrier that was built up at the moment. From now on, she was going to focus on knocking that barrier down. For Santana, her friends, and the main one. Herself.


	14. Chapter 14

The room she was sitting in was occupied with a bunch of other people. She was quite nervous but she knew she had to be here. Ever since she had touched Santana things had been definitely more intense between the both of them. Brittany found herself wanting to touch Santana more and she knew that Santana wanted the same but they had to take things slow. She didn't see why Santana stayed and didn't g and find someone else who can give her the things she wants but Brittany's glad she had her. Someone who understood her and could communicate with her. She even helped Brittany find a therapist who knew sign language to make things easier for her. Plus it was that or she would be sat in a room for ages not saying or doing anything and that option didn't sound too fun. She told Santana and Rachel not to come with her so she could do this herself since this was something she had to get over on her own without someone telling her what to do. It was the only way she would get over this.

"Brittany Pierce to room 18."

She stood up and walked through the doors walking into the therapists office. It was quite big and the walls were a nice shade a beige. There was a sofa against the wall with a table in front of it and another seat on the other side of the table where the therapist was sitting. She looked friendly at least.

" _Hi_." Brittany signed whilst walking into the room. " _I'm Brittany S. Pierce_."

"Hello, Brittany. I'm Dr Parker and I am your therapist." The therapist responded with a smile on his face. "Please. Take a seat." He added gesturing to the sofa in front of him. Brittany nodded and sat down across from him looking at her fingers.

"Okay Brittany, I know that it will be hard for you to talk about things. It is always hard when you go to your first therapy session, but I want you to know that no matter what you tell me, it won't leave this room. You can trust me." Dr Parker assured her. Brittany looked at him and nodded and took a deep breath.

" _Well I can't touch people and I can't talk_." Brittany began moving her hands looking down as she does so. " _I...I haven't since I was between six and seven_."

"Do your parents help you?"

Brittany shook her head. Ha, next joke. When did they ever do anything good for her? " _No. They have struggled with helping me so they just gave up. I replied a lot on my best friend growing up._ "

Dr Parker took down some notes whilst Brittany spoke. "You mean relied? And who is your best friend?"

" _Yeah, that_." Brittany nodded and smiled looking at the therapist. " _And my best friend is Rachel_."

"Why don't you tell me about her?" Dr Parker suggested. He wanted to ease the girl in front of him into therapy since it was her first time visiting him. It was the same for every patient and he understood how hard it was for people to come to therapy but if he could open her up enough to trust him, he could then find out what was actually going on in the blonde's head.

" _Well her name is Rachel Berry, she is kinda short and she is eighteen. She's loads of fun and I love spending time with her. She's on the football team at school and her girlfriend is Quinn Fabray. She's really smart too!_ " Brittany explained happily with her movements showing how happy she was. The therapist smiled at the girl's response.

"That's great. How long have you known her?"

" _Umm since I was in kindergarten I think_." Brittany said nodding. " _Yeah I think it was around that time_."

Dr Parker wrote down the things she was saying so he could get an overview of who she was as a person. It was important he knew who was important to her and who would possibly be supporting her.

"Is there anyone else who you look up to for support?"

" _Santana,_ " Brittany said without hesitation. " _She's my number one support right now since Rachel is with her girlfriend_."

The therapist smiled. "How does she support you?"

" _Well she spends time with me, doesn't make me talk and she just gives me confidence,_ " Brittany explained smiling, " _and..umm...the other day I touched her and I've not touched anyone since I was seven_."

"That must have been a big step for you." Dr Parker says. "What made you want to do that?"

" _I've always wanted to since I met her, but right then I knew that it was now or never so I went for it and even though I was terrified, I wanted to do it. I like her, a lot, and I wanted to feel her skin and see what it felt like_." Brittany admitted blushing looking down smiling into her lap.

Dr Parker smiled. "So you want her to be your girlfriend?"

Brittany nods. " _I do. She is just someone I really want to be with, but before I can do that I need to sort out my no talking and my Haphephobia_."

The therapist nodded in agreement. "That makes sense and you're right. Having a relationship now wouldn't be the best idea since you would feel bad over the fact that you can't touch them, hold their hand or kiss them. But I want you to know that I will; be here to help you. I'm not giving up on you and before you know it, you will be able to touch people again and speak to them." Dr Parker assured Brittany smiling.

She smiled back and nodded. " _Thank you. That's all I could ask for_."

"But just so you are aware this will be a hard process. Speaking after so long and being able to have someone touch you is hard but with the support of me and your friends I assure you, you will get through this." The therapist told her leaning forward slightly cupping his hands looking at the blonde. "If at any time you want to bring Rachel or Santana along, don't worry about asking me. Just bring them along and we will continue your session like usual."

Brittany nodded. " _You're not going to ask me about my past are you?_ "

"Not until you are ready to. It is on your terms."

Nodding in agreement, Brittany looked at the therapist. " _No pressure?_ "

"No pressure at all."

Brittany nodded and looked down at her hands. She was glad there was no pressure to talk because she wasn't in the mood to talk about what happened. It was hard enough when she had to go through it once but talking about it? No. She couldn't. Not yet.

" _Am I allowed to leave when I want to?_ " Brittany asked looking at her hands whilst she signed to the therapist.

"Of course. We are doing this by what you want." Dr Parker said looking at Brittany. "We won't talk about anything hard today. I don't want to overwhelm you."

The blonde nods and looks up. " _Can you tell me that my parents love me?_ "

The therapist looks at the blonde with a sad expression on his face. "I'm sure they do love you even if they don't show it."

" _Then tell me this. Why did they never attempt to learn sign language so they could communicate with me?_ " Brittany asked looking the therapist straight in the eye " _Why do they not bother to try most of the time but when they do try they just mess everything up? Why?_ "

Dr Parker kept silent not knowing how to respond. Brittany nodded her head.

" _Yeah. Just what I thought._ "

"How about we end the session today and I see you next week?" Dr Parker suggested sensing the blonde's anger. She nodded and got up picking her bag up.

" _When do I see you next?_ " Brittany asked after putting her bag over her shoulder.

"Next week. Same time and place."

Brittany nods and walks out of the room. She wiped her eyes as tears started to fall. She didn't even know why she was so close to crying but she never cried in public. She didn't like the fact that anyone can see you and she knew someone would try and comfort her which included them touching her and she didn't like that. Brittany walked out of the building and towards her house. She thought about stopping at the park to feed the ducks to calm herself but she didn't want to do that. Everyone else was at school anyway but when she told Sam about wanting to go to therapy she got permission from the head teacher to get the day off so she could. It was nice of her to do and she's glad she did because she couldn't face anyone right now.

Brittany walked into the house closing the door behind her. She felt physically and mentally exhausted from the session and all she wanted to do was lie down. She didn't want to talk about the sessions with anyone until she was fully ready. This was her decision because most of the things are private and she didn't want anyone knowing just yet. She walked up the stairs to her room locking the door behind her. She didn't want her parents walking in whilst she was sleeping is she always locked the door. Brittany fell right onto the bed face first and cuddled into her pillow and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.

**20th November 2003**

_Brittany had been awake for a while just laying in bed. It was unfair how her mum and dad had split the both her and Zack up but apparently they had to so they could get changed separately. Even though they didn't sleep in the same room anymore, she still liked sneaking in there sometimes to sleep next to him. They were twins so they had such an awesome connection which Brittany loved. Zack was her favourite person to play with and he always played what she wanted, but sometimes Brittany let him play what he wanted so it was fair. Brittany got up out of her bed and went to her door opening it slowly peaking out to see if her parents were around. Once she saw they weren't she tiptoed to Zack's room. She was so excited to tell stories with him. She opened his door quietly looking inside._

_"Zack?" Brittany whispered walking inside. "It's me, Brittany. I missed you so I thought I'd come and-"_

_Brittany couldn't finish what she was saying because on the floor, was her brother. He had red liquid around him which she guessed was blood. She walked up to his body in shock. Was he still breathing? He had to be. Zack wouldn't leave her by herself because they made a pinkie promise to be in each other's lives forever. Brittany knelt beside the body of her brother feeling tears roll down her face. She saw a baseball bat beside his body with blood on it and to Brittany, it looked like someone hit him over the head since his head was bleeding. Why didn't she hear him scream though? She looked at his body and saw a hole in his chest. Had someone hurt him? Why would someone do that? Brittany was actually quite smart when it came to other people which is how she knew something was wrong. He always responded to her._

_"Z-Zack?" Brittany whimpered trying to keep her tears in. "Are you awake? I want to tell you a story. P-Please talk to me."_

_When he didn't answer Brittany burst into tears. Someone had hurt him and she had no idea who it was. She looked down at him seeing blood everywhere and from watching the doctor shows when her mummy and daddy weren't looking, she could tell the hole in his chest was a knife hole. People weren't supposed to use them on people unless they were in hospital. Her mummy told her that. She heard the door open behind her and a soft voice coming from her dad._

_"Pumpkin? Come to daddy."_

_Brittany shook her head too upset to move. "He...he didn't...answer me daddy. Zack always answers me!"_

_She felt her dad pick her up and hug her. Brittany cuddled into him right away crying into his chest. What was wrong with her brother? She wanted to help him. She needed to. He needed to wake up and talk to her again. Why wasn't he talking to her? She didn't understand what was going on. She needed her twin brother to play with. Who was she going to play with if he wasn't around?_

_"Britty I know it's hard to do but we need to leave the room, okay? Some people are coming to get him to help him."_

_"No!" Brittany shouted crying. "I need to be with him! I need to look after him!"_

_"Ssh darling. It's okay. Come on. Come to mummy and daddy's room, okay?"_

_"No, I want to tell Zack a story! I came to see him to tell him a story and I want to tell him it!"_

_Brittany cried into her daddy's chest and stop struggling to get down after a while. All she could think about was her brother's body covered in blood. She wanted to make him better but she knew she couldn't. She might not see him ever again._

**February 2013**

Brittany shot up from the bed sweating and panting. She hadn't had that dream in a while and she hated it. She wiped her face and looked around the room happy that no one was there. She fell back and put her hand on her head. Why did she had to remember that memory so graphically? Who would want to see their brother's death over and over again? Brittany shook her head and got up. She clicked on her phone's screen to see the time and saw that Santana and Rachel had text her. She opened the messages first looking at the one from Santana.

**From Santana: Hey Britt I just wanted to see if therapy went well. I missed you today. Is it okay if we meet later? Xx**

She smiled then opened the one from Rachel.

**From Rachel: Hey. How was therapy today? I thought about you all day. I know that it must have been hard and you probably fell asleep when you got back so just text me when you can xx**

Brittany was glad she had friends like these. At her old school she didn't have anything like this which proved how much better her life is now than it was when she was back at the other school. She wiped the sweat off her face with a towel that was hanging on the side then replied to the messages.

**To Santana: Hey thanks for checking if I'm alright. Therapy was draining so I fell asleep when I got home. I'm all up for hanging out :) xx**

**To Rachel: Hey Rachie! Therapy was draining so you're right in saying I would have fallen asleep because I did. Thanks for thinking about me. I'm okay though xx**

Brittany sent the messages then stood up from the bed and went to get a shower. It was where she did all her thinking and plus, she couldn't get disturbed. She loved feeling the water hit her body after a stressful day like this one. She knew she'd have to catch up with her work but she didn't mind. She hated work but as long as she had someone to help her, she'd always be fine with doing it. She wasn't lazy in the slightest which was why teachers at this school liked her. She didn't give up.

Brittany got out of the shower feeling refreshed and not so sleepy anymore. She walked into the bedroom and dried her hair and body before picking some fresh clothes out to wear. She liked things new when she had a shower even if she had worn clothes the entire day then had a shower. It was because she liked the refreshed feeling it gave her. She put some clothes on then started to dry her hair when she heard her phone buzz signalling she had a message. She walked over to see Santana had text her.

**From Santana: I'm glad it went well. How about we meet at the park? Xx**

**To Santana: That would be great. See you in 15minutes :) xx**

**From Santana: Why so long? :( xx**

**To Santana: Just had a shower and I need to dry my hair :) xx**

**From Santana: The thoughts going through my head now ;) xx**

**To Santana: You perv! :P xx**

**From Santana: I resent that accusation. See you soon :) xx**

Brittany laughed and plugged her hair dryer in and dried her hair. She couldn't wait to see Santana but she knew she would want to know what happened but she told herself she wouldn't tell anyone. It was her life so it was her decision and since she wanted to keep this to herself for now, she was going to keep it that way. Brittany finished drying her hair making it presentable then grabbed her bag walking out going to see Santana. She was looking forward to seeing her since she hadn't seen her all day, so she walked to a bench and sat down. She helt the breath of someone whispering in her ear. She knew who it was instantly but it didn't mean the shiver that ran down her spine was less intense.

"I missed you today."

Brittany smiled watching Santana sit beside her turning to her crossing her legs on the bench.

"Hey you."

Brittany smiled turning her body to face Santana's. " _Hey San. How was school?_ "

"Urgh, don't get me started. It sucked. You are usually there to entertain me and you weren't." Santana groaned then pouted at Brittany. "I had to deal with Rachel being my entertainment and it didn't work because she was more interested in Quinn."

" _Well I'll try to get my next therapy sessions outside school_." She smiled in reply looking at her hands then back at Santana. " _Listen, I know you want to know what happened but I want to keep it to myself for now. It's hard enough having to go to therapy but I don't want to have to explain it to someone when I get home_."

The Latina nodded in understanding. Of course Brittany wouldn't want to talk about something as private as her therapy sessions, and she didn't expect her to. When she heard Brittany had gone to sleep for a bit she understood that it would have been draining. Brittany watched the Latina whilst she thought and she couldn't help but think she was cute. Adorable even.

"I totally get it. I don't expect you to either. I'll be here for you whenever you need me. I won't push you."

Brittany smiled gratefully. She was glad no one was going to push her to talk. She couldn't have that since she knows it wouldn't help her in the slightest.

" _I want to get better. I know I can and I have touched you just like I have always wanted to. I want to work on touching people first before I get to speaking. But I do want to tell you something._ " Brittany explained looking right into Santana's eyes.

Santana couldn't look away. Those eyes were so captivating and she made sure to keep eye contact. She usually sucked at it but today, she kept it. God, Brittany's eyes were gorgeous. She smiled. "Okay? What do you want to tell me?"

Brittany took a deep breath and looked at her. " _Santana, I want to be with you. Not right now because I know it's not practical with what's going on with me, but I do want to be with you eventually. I want to be able to hold your hand, kiss you, cuddle with you amongst other things, but first I need to get through this therapy. I know it's not going to be easy, but I do want that. That is...if you want that too_."

Santana was speechless. She couldn't believe what Brittany had just confessed and it was the one thing she had been wanting to hear from the blonde. She smiled and looked at Brittany happily. She knew nothing could take down her happiness when it was as high as it was now. Brittany wanted to be with her. As in girlfriends. She felt like right now was a dream, but she knew it wasn't. How did this girl in front of her make her feel so amazing so quickly?

"I want all of that too," Santana confessed looking down then back up, "I want that so much."

Brittany smiled. " _I'm glad. I know it won't be easy, and you know that too, but we can get through this. I'm going to work on not being afraid of touching you and vice versa. It's a start and even though it will take a while, we'll get there_."

Brittany smiled at the Latina knowing she had made her happy. She had no idea where the confidence came from to tell her but she'd glad she could finally admit it. At least from here on out they would both be able to see where they were going to end up. It was a good place for them to be too since they had something to work towards and that definitely applied to her more than Santana.

"I know we will. I can't wait to finally do all those things." Santana smiled standing up. "Okay so how about we go for a walk?"

Brittany nodded and stood up walking through the park with Santana. They didn't have to say anything, but both of them knew that the conversation was a step in the right direction. Plus, hearing the other say that they want to be with them too was pretty amazing to hear.

"So, your birthday is coming up in a couple of days..." Santana began looking at the blonde.

" _Yes, it is._ " Brittany said smirking knowing what she was going to ask. "What about it?"

"I haven't got a clue what to get you. What do you want?" Santana asked.

Brittany laughed in amusement. She knew Santana was going to ask this, but the thing is that she didn't actually know what she wanted.

" _I actually have no idea. There isn't anything that I want. I have everyone around me that I need and that in itself is good enough for me_."

Santana groaned and Brittany couldn't help but giggle in amusement. She was cute but she would be the same if roles were reversed.

"I will have to guess now," Santana admitted pouting.

" _Santana, I just want to see you on my birthday and that alone is good enough for me._ " Brittany told her with a smile on her face. " _Stop worrying. You'll get wrinkles_."

Santana looked at her and laughed. "You are adorable. Just amazing."

Brittany blushed and shrugged her shoulders. They continued to walk through the park until they came to a fountain. Brittany got excited and ran towards the fountain with Santana following behind her.

"What's so great about this, Britt?" Santana asked confused.

" _Santana, how can you not know?_ " Brittany asked, looking at her shocked. " _You make a wish and flip a coin into it and it will come true._ "

"Britt you do realise that-" Santana began but stopped herself when she saw how excited and happy the blonde was. She smiled shaking her head getting two coins out of her pocket giving one to Brittany before walking up to the fountain. Brittany smiled closing her eyes making a wish then flipped the coin into the water. She watched Santana do the same who then turned to look at her afterwards.

"What did you wish for?" Santana asked curiously.

Brittany shook her head. " _We can't tell each other! It won't come true and I made an awesome wish, which by the way, has to come true!_ "

Santana put her hands up in defence. "Okay. Come on."

Brittany nodded and walked away from the fountain. What neither of them knew is that both of them had made the exact same wish, whilst looking at each other with a smile.

_"I wish for Santana to be my girlfriend."_

_"I wish for Brittany to be my girlfriend."_


	15. Chapter 15

Therapy had been going well. Brittany liked talking with him and telling him what has been going on in the day and even though it was a struggle getting through the hard stuff when he mentioned it, she tried her best to answer. They hadn't come across the topic of her brother just yet and she was glad. She didn't want to talk about Zack just yet but they did talk about the relationship with her parents and with other friends and teachers. It was nice to talk to someone who didn't know her and even though in the back of her mind, she was worried about what they thought about her. She was glad she was talking to someone; talking without someone else telling her to or pushing her. It was all because she knew she needed to. Santana had been great throughout the whole process. She made sure she had someone to talk to when the sessions finished and if she wanted to Santana would just sit and listen to her whilst she talked. Well it wasn't quite at the talking stage, but she liked calling it talking because it sounded weird when she said signing. Talking sounded a lot better.

Unfortunately for Brittany, her parents had found out about her going to therapy and tried to get her to talk about it. She stopped going home as much as possible and usually stayed either at Santana's or Rachel's to avoid her parents. Since her first stay at Santana's, she had gotten another bed in her room so she could stay over without someone sleeping on the floor. Brittany found it convenient and even though she insisted on taking the single bed, Santana always gave her the double. They were currently sat on a wall facing the school on their lunch break. After Sam took her to the cafe during her lunch break a few weeks ago, Brittany found that she preferred being away from school so Santana went with her off school grounds. They never went far but it was far enough for them not to be on school grounds.

"You know I never realized how big the school was before sitting here." Santana observed looking at it with her hands on the wall beside her legs. "Just seems...bigger from here."

Brittany nodded in agreement. " _Things look different from different angles. So from the car park it probably doesn't look that big but from this angle where you can see the extra building behind the front of it, it will look bigger_."

Santana nodded and turned to Brittany with a smile on her face. "You are...so smart."

Brittany smiled back and shook her head. " _I just know things other people don't care about_."

"You know that is pretty awesome." Santana said looking at her with her hair falling to the side. "Knowing things that other people wouldn't know is like a gift from where I'm standing. Like the other week you told me when you look at stars it's like you are looking back in time because the light from the star takes millions of years to reach Earth. So when you look at any star, you are actually looking how it looked thousands of years ago. To me, that's interesting."

Brittany blushed looking at the floor. " _Well, I really like space. I think it's really interesting and people don't appreciate it enough or the planet we live on. If people stopped and looked around, they'd notice that life is a beautiful thing and it's a gift we shouldn't take for granted._ "

"See? That right there is why I like you so much. You have been through so much and you still see good in things. You believe and see things that other people don't, but that is what makes you so special."

Brittany smiled. It was true what Santana said. She did believe things like magic and she saw things like nature which others didn't but she liked it. She didn't want to be like everyone else. Why should she? Every person is unique and everyone has different things they believe in so if believing in magic and magical creatures makes her weird then so be it. She'd rather be a weirdo who believed things like unicorns than be someone who spent their time inside not noticing how beautiful the world actually is. It was a shame really but it happens.

"Well I just think that people need to get out more. Our generation stays mainly indoors and I think it's time that people got out an experienced the world." Brittany stated honestly standing up turning to face Santana. " _Will you explore the world with me, San? To see why it is so beautiful?_ "

Santana looked up at her and smiled. "I would love to, Britt."

The both of them looked at one another lovingly then blushed looking away smiling. They walked back to the school walking inside. By the looks of it they were just in time since they bell just rang whilst they walked to their lockers. Brittany liked it because she had finally settled in at the school. Santana and Rachel always sorted anyone out who got too close to her or touched her accidently even when she said it was fine. Quinn and Sam turned out to b really good friends. They all sat together in their free periods and it was nice to finally have some real friends. She mainly spoke to Santana and Rachel about her therapy sessions but when Quinn and Sam asked, she happily told them about what had been going on. The pair of them had gotten better at sign language but she still had to sign slowly for them to understand. Brittany got her things out of her locker whilst Santana waited when someone came up to her that she didn't know. She looked at her confused.

"Could you come with me please?" The lady asked her. She looked weird. She had ginger hair and her clothes looked like they had come from the century before this one. She looked at Santana and silently asking her to come with her. Santana nodded knowing what Brittany was asking and walked with her following the guidance councilor. Santana didn't like her too much, but she walked into her office anyway. Brittany walked in and felt her eyes widen as she saw her parents sitting there. She stood behind Santana not wanting to go near them.

"You don't have to hide behind your friend, honey. Come and sit down." Her mother told her, but Brittany shook her head staying behind Santana. She tried avoiding them as much as possible, but obviously they had other plans.

"Brittany, do you know why you are here?" The guidance councilor asked. She only knew she was the counselor since she had a certificate on the side for it.

"She can't speak." Santana told her, making sure not to move from where she was since she knew Brittany was staying behind her out of trust for her. "I'll tell you what she wants to say."

Brittany looked at Santana and smiled thanking her. She looked at the counselor and shook her head.

"They're worried about you. Apparently you haven't been going home."

Brittany shook her head. " _They keep bothering me about my counseling sessions when I don't want to tell them. I don't even know how they found out._ "

The counselor nodded whilst Santana repeated what she had said. "But don't you want to go back home to your parents and talk about it?" She asked smiling.

Brittany shook her head again. " _No. They haven't cared before now and the only reason they care is because they know that I'll be able to talk again through counseling_."

Her mom shook her head when Santana repeated what she had said. "That s not true. We care about you!"

"Brittany, of course we do. You're our daughter." Her dad insisted smiling looking at her. "We love you and we want to help."

" _Then help by not trying to touch me and force me to tell you what happened at my therapy sessions_." Brittany signed looking at them. "Y _ou're not helping me at all by doing that_."

Brittany's mom sighed looking at her. "We just want to help."

" _I know. Just give me space and time and I will tell you_." Brittany assured her parents. " _I won't tell you if you don't give me space_."

Her parents nodded which made her sigh in relief once Santana had told them what she wanted to say. It was great that Santana could be there for her like that and be happy to help her. She sometimes felt like she was bothering her but Santana always told her that she wasn't which was a relief so she stopped trying to feel guilty about it and just went on with it. She watched as her parents stood up but what surprised them was that they turned to Santana.

"I just want to thank you for looking after our daughter. I know Rachel does but to know that Brittany has someone that supports her and helps her as much as you do is a relief. Thank you." Brittany's mom said then walked out of the door followed by her dad. She was shocked to say the least but she was happy. Her parents were going to stop trying to force her to tell them what had been going on at therapy. She turned to Santana..

" _Thank you for doing that_."

Santana nodded turning to her. "It's alright. Come on, lets go. We have lesson to get to."

Brittany nodded in agreement walking out of the office. It was nice seeing as everyone else was in lesson so all they had to do was get to lesson without Brittany fearing of someone touching her. That was the problem with having a fear of touch. She couldn't let anyone touch her at all. She was surprised she could be around Santana so closely without freaking out, but Santana was different. She was the reason she wanted to do therapy and come out the other end being able to touch her. She wanted to be her girlfriend so bad but before she could do that, she had to get through the barriers first.

"What you thinking?" Santana asked, walking towards their classroom.

Brittany shrugged in reply. " _Just about how much I want to get through this therapy and be able to finally hug you and kiss you_."

"Yeah? I can't wait either, but you know I would wait forever if I had to, don't you?"

Brittany nodded smiling. " _Of course, but I want to do this for me. No one should live like this_."

Santana nodded in agreement. Brittany was right. No one should live the way she has been. No one deserves to live in fear and she knew Brittany had a past she didn't like talking about. It was understandable why she didn't like talking about it. Who would? Brittany looked at the Latina and smiled. She would get through this.

xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany, Santana and Rachel were currently sat in Lima Bean. School had finished so they decided to just hang out together. It was nice to hang out together and Brittany liked having the both of them around her so that she was able to talk about anything that she felt like. The both of them hadn't told Rachel about their attraction for one another but she didn't think it was any of her business. She didn't find out about Quinn until a couple of weeks into her relationship and before they even got together; Rachel hadn't even told her that she liked Quinn. So in her opinion, it was hers and Santana's business and it didn't need to involve anyone else.

"So how have things been?" Rachel asked taking a sip of her coffee.

" _Things have been alright. My parents appeared at school today._ " Brittany answered, looking at her cup of tea. " _They were apparently worried because I wasn't going home_."

"Are you kidding?" Rachel asked, snapping her head up. "What happened?"

"I translated what she wanted to say to her parents." Santana said looking at Rachel. "She asked me to go, so I did."

Rachel nodded. Even though she couldn't be there she was glad Santana was or god knows what would have happened. But she was glad that she could trust Santana to look after her best friend. She knew she always could, but reassurance and proof was always nice. Brittany looked at Rachel and smiled.

" _They understood and actually left, which they never usually do._ " Brittany continued from what Santana had been saying after putting her drink down. It was hard to sign and hold a cup at the same time without getting the drink everywhere. " _And I know it isn't related to that but therapy has been going well too. I mean I'm not at the talking stage yet but I will get there_."

"That's great, Britt. Do you think you will be able to talk and touch people soon?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her drink looking at her.

Brittany didn't know how to tell her. How was she meant to tell her best friend she had touched someone else and not her? Wasn't that like betrayal or something along those lines? She didn't want to disappoint her best friend but then again she hoped she would be able to be happy for her. Well she hopes so anyway. Brittany looked at Rachel and nodded.

" _I hope so_."

"Well I can't wait to see you finally be able to talk to people again." Rachel went on, with a smile on her face. "It will be nice for you to be able to speak instead of having to sign. I know it can be frustrating for you."

Brittany nodded in agreement. She was right. It was frustrating that people couldn't understand her and she had to rely on only certain people but she knew that those certain people would always be her friends no matter what happened throughout life. She knew the people she had now were the people she could count on and that meant the world to her. It didn't matter how long she had known a person. What mattered to her was who was there when she needed them and who wasn't. It was times like that when you find out who your real friends are and Brittany knew exactly who they were.

" _I know but the way I see it is the people who are around now are my real friends. Because it doesn't matter how long someone has been there; what matters is who was there when I needed them and I think I can safely say who I can trust and who I can't_." Brittany explained putting a smile upon her face. " _You can only trust a certain number of people and I know who those people are to me_."

Santana smiled taking a bite out of the cookie she had on the table. She offered some to Brittany but she declined not wanting any so Santana shrugged eating the rest of it. It was nice to be able to hang with her best friends without any interruptions.

"I agree. I go by the saying 'never trust anyone', but then it changed to 'never trust anyone, aside from the ones who can prove themselves'." Santana agreed finishing her cookie taking a sip of her drink. "It is a harsh life lesson to learn, but you've got to learn it at some point, so why not now?"

The girls both agreed nodding their heads, drinking the drinks they had in front of them. The three of them had become close lately and even though Brittany hadn't talked about what had happened in her therapy that much, Santana and Rachel understood and never put pressure on her to tell them. Brittany liked that about them and it was one of the reasons why she trusted them. She knew she relied on them a bit too much, but she would get over that. It was high school and she felt like the two of them protected her in more ways than one. She was grateful and she would pay them back somehow. She just had to figure out when and how she was going to do that.

"You okay Britt?" Rachel asked looking towards her. Brittany nodded in reply, snapping out of her thoughts.

" _Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking_."

"Britt, I told you to stop thinking about me." Santana smirked looking her way. The blonde blushed with a smile on her face looking at her drink.

" _Sorry, I couldn't help myself_." Brittany replied with a smirk on her face looking up at her. " _You are just floating through my mind constantly_."

Rachel looked between her two friends confused. Were they actually...flirting? She could tell that Brittany had a crush on Santana but she didn't know Santana felt the same. Did they? She knew Brittany wasn't going to take the next step until her therapy sessions had got further into the situation, but still. They were practically having eye sex across the table. Very uncomfortable.

"So..." Rachel began cautiously after clearing her throat, "have you both got something to tell me?"

The both of them looked at her surprised. They had completely forgotten about Rachel being with them but what were they meant to say? 'You should probably know Rachel that we both have a crush on one another and we intend to be girlfriends once I have got the ability to touch people and talk?' Yeah that would not go well at all. Rachel was protective for one so she didn't want her threatening Santana no to hurt her or something. Brittany shook her head drinking the rest of her drink until it was empty. Great, now she didn't have anything to do to distract herself from telling Rachel what was really going on. Rachel looked at the two of them.

"Okay, something is going on and I'd rather you told me instead of hiding it."

Santana sighed. "Okay fine. Brittany and I...we kind of like each other." Santana confessed looking down at the table.

Rachel looked at the both of them for a few minutes in shock. She knew Brittany liked Santana but now she liked her back? When did that happen? Could she really trust Santana to look after Brittany?

" _Rach, please don't do that_." Brittany pleaded looking at her.

"Don't do what?" Rachel asked even though she knew what Brittany was talking about. She did this even when people tried to be Brittany's friend. It was only because she was protective of her. She didn't want her getting hurt by anyone and she'd stop her getting hurt as much as possible.

" _You know what. You're thinking if Santana is good enough for me but she is. She's been supportive of me and you know it_." Brittany signed looking at her. " _You can't think of anything bad about her because there isn't anything bad to say_."

Rachel sighed nodding. She was right as per usual. Brittany didn't like her acting like this and even though she didn't either, she had to. Brittany had been hurt before and she hated seeing Brittany's face when people had pretend to be her friend just to embarrass her.

"I know I just care Britt. You know what happened in fifth grade." Rachel reminded looking at her. "I don't want that happening again."

Brittany smiled. " _I know, but you can't protect me from everything. I trust Santana and I know you do too. Deep down you know she won't hurt me_."

Santana smiled. "You trust me?"

" _Of course I do silly_." Brittany grinned. " _You've proved I can trust you and I know that I can. Rachel just needs to believe it now_."

Santana looked at the blonde smiling at her. She was glad that she did trust her. It was nice to know because she trusted her too. She enjoyed spending time with her and how much she was childlike. It was rear to see someone with such a love for childlike things such as the other day when they went to the pond and fed the ducks. It was something she wouldn't usually do but because it was Brittany, she did. The three of them looked at the time then decided to get up and leave the cafe since each of them had plans for the evening. They all left the cafe and went their separate ways to their own homes.

xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany was laying in bed doing her homework. Sadie had given her work to do to improve on her writing. She knew she didn't have very good writing since she was dyslexic, but she did try her best. Her parents had left her alone after talking briefly to her when she came in. They definitely seemed to be trying since they had told her they were planning on taking sign language classes so they could talk to her. It meant a lot to Brittany because sign language wasn't exactly easy to learn. They had learnt the basic hello and they knew what thank you was but that was it. Brittany knew it was a start but it didn't get the relationship between them very far. She looked at her work and sighed.

" _My writing still isn't that good_." Brittany thought to herself, putting her pen down.

"Need some help?" A voice asked. Brittany looked up and smiled seeing her dad there. It was nice for him to come up since they didn't usually speak. She nodded and let her father come into the room who sat on the edge of the bed looking at the work she was doing. "Still struggling with your writing?"

Brittany nodded getting a pen and paper out writing down and showing her dad. " _Yeah, but I am getting help at school_."

Her father nodded and looked at her work. "Well you seem to be doing well so far." Her dad observed reading through it. " But you have gotten better since I last saw your work. I'm glad you are getting help with it that me or your mother can't give you."

Brittany smiled and nodded writing something else down showing it to her dad. " _I know. I'm glad you are both trying though. That means a lot to me_." Brittany looked at him smiling then grabbed her paper writing something else down as she thought of it lifting it up. " _I love you both and things have been hard without you_."

Her father looked at her and smiled. "We love you both too and we are going to start being here for you more."

Smiling, she looked at her father. After her brother died her parents distanced themselves from her, but to know that they were trying was amazing. She was glad she would be able to finally get their support without them pushing her and by her seeing the way her dad was acting now, she could tell he wasn't lying to her.

"Thank you." Brittany said with a smile.

"You're welcome." Her dad answered looking at his daughter with happiness. "I know your mom and I need to work on a few things, but we are trying our best. We want you to be able to talk to us but since we know how you feel about your therapy sessions now, you can come to us when you are ready."

She nodded and wrote down in her notebook showing her dad. " _Don't worry, you'll know when I am ready_."

Her dad nodded. "Okay. Well I will leave you to do your homework. Me and your mom are always here for you."

Her dad walked out of the room closing the door which left Brittany with questions running through her head. Why were her parents trying so hard? Did they actually care or did they just want her to talk? Brittany knew they were just being genuine people, so why should she judge them? She didn't know how to think of it all from her therapy to the situation at home, but at least she was trying to get better and grow her confidence. She looked on her bedside table and looked at the picture of her brother. His full name was Zackary Daniel Pierce. Daniel came from their grandfather, which now she thought about it she really had to contact. He had been sending her messages to go and see him, but she was scared he would think she was weird or broken.

Brittany sighed and put down her book walking to the window looking outside. She looked up at the stairs then had an idea. She opened the window and climbed out walking onto the window sill climbing up onto the roof. It was a beautiful night and to Brittany, it allowed her to feel closer to nature and the night sky by actually being outside. How scientists were able to understand the night sky and nature without going out much was beyond her. She sat down and looked up.

" _Why is everything so complicated?_ " Brittany asked herself laying down looking at the sky. " _My parents are trying, but I doesn't know if they mean it. I haven't gotten any better since my therapy sessions and all I want to do is be with Santana, but I can't. Seriously, life sucks_."

Looking up at the stars and the sky made Brittany think. Her brother was up there and someday she would be able to join him. She knew right now wasn't the time for that but whenever she thought about him, she always remembered his smile. She was doing better though because she used to think about him all the time and it did upset her a lot, but now she had changed that sadness to happiness since Santana was the one who took over her thoughts. She sighed happily and put her arm underneath her head watching the stars shine. One day, if she can't do dance, she would love to study the sky. Physics, which this stuff fell under, was one of the classes she was passing at the moment since she was interested in it. She just found it so fascinating. She smiled and closed her eyes enjoying the night breeze. Tomorrow was another day but right now, she was going to enjoy this moment.


	16. Chapter 16

" _Why aren't I getting any better?_ " Brittany asked looking at her therapist.

She was getting frustrated. She didn't feel like she was making any progress at all. How was she meant to get better if she wasn't getting anywhere? Well that was her opinion. She wanted to make everyone proud, which included herself, but she wasn't even proud of herself right now. How could she be? She still had that barrier that was stopping her and she hated it.

"Brittany, it takes time." The therapist said looking at her over his notebook. "I know it is probably frustrating and it feels like you have gotten nowhere, but there is one thing we haven't spoken about; I told you we would only speak of it when you are fully ready. Don't force yourself."

" _I know_." Brittany sighed in reply looking down at her fingers whilst she signed to him. " _I just want to be better right now._ "

"I understand that. How have you been getting on with touching other people?" The therapist asked curiously.

Brittany shrugged. " _I have tried and I succeed once like you know, but I've touched Santana again since then._ "

It was true. She had tried. Just the other day when Santana fell asleep at her house when they were watching a DVD she reached over and traced her fingers over Santana's leg. It was okay since she was asleep and she had touched her before, but she was the only one she could touch. No one else. Rachel heard about Brittany touching Santana and she was so happy, but Brittany knew that deep down she was a little offended. It wasn't like she meant for it to happen or anything. She just felt like she could open up to her more than she could anyone else. Well, right now anyway.

"I do know yes, and I'm glad you have tried again since then. How did you feel when you did that?" Dr Parker asked whilst writing notes down. "What made you want to do that?"

Truth was, Brittany only did that because it was Santana. She wanted to feel her for once instead of being too scared. She thought it would be a step in the right direction and it was. She could now touch Santana a little bit and she could say she tried.

" _I felt...good. I wanted to try for Santana and I did. I can now touch her a little bit, but she can't touch me_."

Dr Parker nodded. "That's progress, Brittany. It might be a small step for some people, but from your point of view that is a huge deal."

" _I know_." Brittany agreed nodding her head. " _I just wish I could hug her and hold her hand, but it's a bit too much to ask for that I think_."

"It is right now but if you think about it, when you get to that stage you will be happy that you took the time to get to that stage. Just right now, it will take some time but you need to allow that so you can progress." He told Brittany putting his notebook down. "But for now, every time you touch someone I want you to write it down. Write down who you touched, for how long and how you felt. Okay?"

Brittany nodded looking at him. " _Okay, I can do that_."

"Great. Now let's talk about your other friends. Who else do you talk to apart from Santana and Rachel?"

Brittany smiled finally happy to be talking about something she liked talking about. " _Well I don't have many but I hang around with Rachel and Santana the most; also Sam, Quinn, Mercedes, Finn, Puck and Tina sometimes too_."

"Are you close to them?" Dr Parker asked curiously, picking his notebook back up writing more things down.

" _Well no, not really_." Brittany said shaking her head. " _But I could be and they respect that. I don't like people touching me and I don't talk. They are trying to understand me though_."

The therapist nodded looking at Brittany. "Okay so you could talk to them about things if you got closer?"

Brittany shook her head in response. " _Only Rachel and Santana can know things. I can have other friends, but none that I would trust as much as those two_."

"Do you ever think you are putting too much pressure on them?" The therapist asked looking at her. "Or do you think they are happy to listen and help you?"

Brittany looked at him. " _Do you think I am pressuring them too much? Should I not talk to them?_ "

"What? No, no, no Brittany. I wanted to know your opinion on the matter."

" _Oh_." Brittany said looking down. " _Well maybe I am. They aren't therapists but they always tell me they don't mind helping me because they are my friends. Well Santana is more than my friend so I think she tries to help me more than Rachel_."

"So you and Santana have talked about how you both feel?" He asked her looking up.

She nodded smiling. " _Yeah. We both like each other but we're waiting until I have progressed before getting together since we wouldn't be able to do any things that normal couples do, such as cuddle or hold hands_."

"Well how about you tell me about Santana?" Dr Parker suggested looking at her. "I'm sure you have a lot of things you can say."

" _Yes!_ " Brittany agreed grinning. " _Well she is smart, beautiful, a bit smaller than me, gorgeous brown eyes, beautiful black hair, her hands are small but perfect, she is so cute, she has an amazing voice and she can sing! God she can sing. I swear every time she sings my heart beats faster." Brittany explained looking at him. "And let's not forget how every time she goes out she makes sure to look her best and she does. She always does look perfect no matter what_."

Dr Parker chuckled in amusement. "I see you like her a lot."

Brittany blushed. " _Is it that obvious?_ "

"No, of course not." He said shaking her head. "Well okay, maybe you can tell, but I'm sure she loves that."

" _I hope so_." Brittany said looking at her hands as she signs.

Dr Parker closed his notebook. "Okay, so that is the end of the session. Is there anything you want to talk about before you leave?"

Brittany looked at him. " _Well there is one thing_."

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Santana walked into school tired. She hadn't got any sleep the night before because she was worrying about the massive test that she had today so she had decided to study to at least cram as much information as she could. She remembered Brittany telling her she would be late today because of her therapy session which the school had authorized because of her situation. Only fair really. She really wished she was having a Spanish test instead since she would ace that without studying but no. It had to be friggin' biology. She didn't even like the subject which made things worse. She got to her locker putting her books into her locker when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and smiled.

"Hey Rach. What's up?"

"You ready for this biology test?" Rachel asked leaning against the locker taking a bite into the apple she was holding. "I tried revising, but nothing went in."

Santana knew how Rachel felt. She nodded closing her locker turning to her friend. "I know the feeling. I tried revising last night, but nothing worked."

"How are things going with Brittany?" Rachel asked walking with Santana as they made their way to lesson. "Britt told me about her touching you. Big deal that is."

Nodding, Santana agreed walking with the brunette. It was a big deal but the pair of them never made it seem like a big deal just in case Brittany relapsed and freaked out. "I know but we try not to make it seem like a big deal. We just take every day as it goes to be honest. Know what I mean?"

"I get it. Don't want Brittany freaking out." Rachel replied nodding. "Know the feeling. It's hard as you don't want Brittany being treated like she's different, but you also don't want her going back to being scared."

They walked into lesson and sat down where there was a piece of paper on the desk. God this was it. It was an important test so if she failed that was it. Santana looked up at the clock wondering when Brittany would be finished with the therapy. Not like she would be able to do anything now. She wasn't even in her lesson.

"Exactly. She's at therapy now so I just hope she is okay."

Before Rachel could reply the teacher walked in telling them to put all books away and to stop talking. Santana looked up at the clock then began her test once the teacher said it was okay to start. She had to pass this exam so right now was not a good idea to have a blank memory. She sighed and leant her head on her hand working on her paper.

Santana finished her paper an hour later and handed it in walking out of the classroom. The corridor was empty which meant she could go to her locker without having to fight the crowd, which she usually had to do. Santana walked to her locker and sighed in exhaustion. She hoped she did alright but that was no guarantee. She just wanted to see Brittany now to find out how her therapy went. Just as she closed her locker she turned around and saw Brittany walking towards her. She smiled.

"Brittany!"

" _Hi Santana!_ " Brittany greeted with a smile on her face. " _How did your test go?_ "

"Awful. I hate biology. You can cheer me up though." Santana responded leaning against her locker. "How was therapy?"

" _It was alright. Nothing special. We did speak about you and Rachel and how I felt about relying on you both_."

Santana looked at her curiously. "And what did you say about it?"

" _I told them that you didn't mind and I asked if that was what he thought but he just said he was just asking how I felt. So I just accepted it and moved on_."

"Well as long as you are happy then that's a good thing." Santana told her smiling.

" _Yep. He wants me to keep record of who I touch and for how long. Like a diary type thing_." Brittany went on looking at Santana. " _Do you think that's weird?_ "

"No, I think that's a good idea actually." Santana agreed nodding. "I mean you will then be able to see your progress from now up to in a few months and beyond that."

Santana was right. She would be able to see how well she was doing and she did like knowing if she was improving because right now, she didn't think she was.

" _You're right as usual._ "

"Duh." Santana smirked. "But one thing that we can look forward to is your birthday tonight."

" _I think you and Rachel are more excited than I am._ " Brittany laughed looking at her. " _What did you get me?_ "

"Uh uh. I am not telling you that." Santana told her smiling."That is why they call it a surprise, Britt."

" _But...you want to tell me because we will be girlfriend's soon and then you'll have to tell me._ "

Santana shook her head. "I am not telling you. You will have to wait until tonight."

" _Urgh you suck._ " Brittany said then folded her arms pouting.

"Aww don't be like that. You'll find out soon enough." Santana then moved towards her and whispered in her ear. "And I can guarantee you will love it."

Brittany felt a shiver move down her spine and nodded in response. Santana looked at her and chuckled before pulling away. It was adorable to her how she could get to Brittany. She was excited for the party tonight though. All of their friends would be there to celebrate and she only invited people that knew about Brittany and about her phobia's so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable. She didn't want someone going up to Brittany and hugging her or something making her freak out.

" _Where's Rachel?_ " Brittany asked looking around the hallway. " _She still in the classroom?_ "

"Yeah I think so. She didn't follow me out."

She nodded and smiled shrugging her shoulders. " _Okay, well looks like it's just you and me. Can we go sit on the bleachers? It's a nice day today and I want to enjoy it._ "

Santana agreed and walked with Brittany down the corridor towards the field then went to sit on the bleachers. It was actually pretty nice just like Brittany said so they could sit out here without it getting wet. They even had entertainment with the football players on the field practicing for an upcoming match.

"I've been rude." Santana admitted, sitting down beside Brittany when the pair of them found somewhere to sit. Brittany turned to look at her with a confused expression.

" _How have you been rude?_ "

Santana looked at the blonde and smiled. "I haven't said happy birthday yet. Happy birthday!" She smiled when she saw the blonde giggle and nod before looking at the floor then looking back up at the brunette.

" _Thank you._ "

"Don't worry about it. You're excited about tonight though, right?" Santana asked nervously looking at the blonde who smiled at her.

" _Of course! It should be so much fun. And plus as long as you are there and Rachel, then it should be good._ "

Santana smiled and turned to look at the footballers practicing. She enjoyed the time that she could have with her and how she felt when they were together. Santana couldn't wait to spend time with Brittany at her party later on that night. She didn't know why but she felt as though it would be a step in the right direction for the both of them. Why? She wasn't sure yet. But she knew that she would find out at the party.


	17. Chapter 17

Brittany didn't know how she felt about the party that was happening in just a few hours. Rachel and Santana seemed to be really into getting it ready for her. Even though they were celebrating her birthday, it felt wrong. Zach doesn't get to celebrate it anymore, so why should she? It was hard to explain but since she was born a twin and now she didn't have one, it wasn't right. If you aren't a twin you wouldn't understand but they have a different connection compared to just brother and sister. It was special and she missed it a lot since now she just had to be by herself. Her parents would probably still talk to her and she would be able to talk back if nothing had happened that night. They say some things happen for a reason, but Brittany can't think of any possible reason why someone would want to hurt him or wanted to since it's now in the past. Brittany shook her head and looked at the outfit she was currently wearing. It was suitable for a party but since the pair of them hadn't told her anything extra such as what type of party it was, she didn't have much to go on.

She was officially turning seventeen and that is pretty exciting to think about. After seventeen she would be eighteen; officially an adult which is super exciting. Well not exactly super exciting since she can't do all the exciting stuff until she's twenty one, but with Santana and Rachel she would be able to drink alcohol anyway. She knew she wouldn't be drinking too much in case something happens and she doesn't want to be too unaware of what is going on around her. Yes, Brittany wasn't just a typical teenager that wanted to go out drinking all the time. No, she liked to stay in and do other things, but Rachel had always tried to get her out of her shell. Now it was time for Brittany to allow herself to be that person. She knew this entire problem she had with human touch and how she had never been able to speak but she knew tonight had to be different. Santana was the one person who deserved her and also the one person she deserved. Out of everyone, no one really tried to get to know her as much as Santana has. It made her feel great that someone in the school did care. Yes she had other friends that talked to her and who tried but it was different with Santana. Everything felt different to her.

Brittany heard a knock at the door so she walked downstairs and opened it to reveal Rachel standing there smiling.

"Hey." She greeted with a smile. "You excited?"

" _Little nervous but I'll be fine._ " Brittany replied with a smile back looking around the space around Rachel. " _No Quinn?_ "

"She felt bad about not getting you anything for your birthday so she's gone to the mall to get you something dragging Santana along since I said I was coming to see you so I couldn't go with her." Rachel explained laughing slightly. "Apparently she needed someone with expert opinions on what you would like which left me and Santana."

Brittany smiled. It was sweet for someone to care about her birthday that wasn't just Rachel. She knew the brunette would never forget her birthday and she was glad since it made her feel special even if she did think about Zack a lot today. She tried to go into his room and did succeed. Nothing had changed apart from the fact that the carpet was free from blood like it had been covered in all those years ago. The bed hadn't even been made which had made it even more real. It felt like he was still around because Brittany remembered that Zack hated making his bed and it was something they always did together to stop Zack getting into trouble with their mom. She had to leave after a while though since she began to get upset but she was proud of herself for going in there finally. Brittany came out of her thoughts knowing that she was supposed to reply to what Rachel said.

" _Well that makes sense since both of you know me best._ "

"Exactly, but I said she didn't need to get you anything because I know you're not big on your birthday." Rachel said sitting on the arm of the couch. "She insisted though so just be grateful."

" _When am I not?_ " Brittany asked with a smile. " _I like gifts as much as the next person but I'm just different to everyone else. I don't expect them. It's just a birthday Rach. I'll have loads more in years to come._ "

Rachel looked up at her best friend. "You are the sweetest person I know. I came round to see if you had found anything to wear."

Brittany smile and spun around on the spot signifying what she had found. She wasn't a fan of dresses so she always made sure to put on a cute outfit, preferably that had some sex appeal somewhat for Santana so she could impress her. It was a long shot since it wasn't like they could do anything, but she wanted Santana to see her as hot and not just this vulnerable girl who couldn't talk or have people touch her. She wanted Santana to see her as sexy and hot and someone that if she saw her in the hallways she would be proud to say that she was her girlfriend. She does dream a lot especially since they're not even girlfriends but they would hopefully get that someday. She felt like tonight was the night she would get to show Santana that she can be sexy.

" _I'm wearing this. I want to show Santana that I can be sexy instead of just this vulnerable girl she sees me as._ " Brittany explained. " _Is this sexy enough? I know it's only a pair of skinny jeans with a top, but I'm putting some boots with it too and probably a jacket._ "

Rachel looked at her and smirked. "You're trying to impress Santana now, are you?"

Brittany blushed and nodded. " _Yeah I really like her. It's just...I really want to kiss her. I can't get it out of my head and with therapy going well, I think tonight could be the night, you know? She's the one person I've been able to connect with and touch in a long time and that has got to mean something. She's really helping me Rach._ "

Rachel looked at the blonde. She hadn't seen her happy in such a long time and it was the first time she had seen some real progress from the blonde. If she could do what she said she wants to do tonight, then it will help her recovery a whole lot easier. She had first been jealous over the Latina for having that connection with her, but she knew it was stupid. Brittany is her best friend and she needs to be happy for her. It's not every day you find another lesbian in your town that wants you back. She smiled up at Brittany looking at her outfit. It was perfect.

"Your outfit is perfect Britt. I know you want to impress Santana and you will. You should curl your hair tonight and put a bit of make up on just to show her you can look sexy. Everyone will want you when you walk through the door."

Brittany grinned and nodded. " _Thank you so much! I really want this to work and I feel a lot better than I did a few months ago. I know it's only been around 2 months but I really want Santana. She's the one person I need around as much as you._ " Brittany explained looking at her best friend. " _Just so you know; you could never be replaced. You have been here for me for most of my life and without you I don't think I'd even be here, so thank you Rachel. I love you._ "

Rachel smiled and nodded. "I know and I love you too. But let's not get too emotional now. How about I help you get ready for your future wife?"

" _She's not my future wife._ " Brittany signed blushing.

"Whatever you say; now get your ass up those stairs to your bedroom and get your make up out. We have some work to do."

Brittany smiled and walked up the stairs with Brittany following. Santana was going to be in for a shock tonight and she couldn't wait to see her reaction.

xxxxxxxxxx

"What about this?"

Santana had been walking with Quinn for over an hour now and they still weren't any closer to buying her a gift. According to Quinn she wanted it specific and Brittany would have to like it. Thing is, Brittany was very easily pleased so Santana was pretty sure she'd be happy with whatever Quinn gets her. They were currently stood in the jewelers whilst Quinn looked at different jewellery.

"Quinn, she'll just be happy to get a gift from you." Santana said shrugging her shoulders.

"But it has to be perfect Santana! What did you get her?" Quinn asked turning her head to look at her. "You like her, don't you? You must have gotten her something good."

"It's a secret and you are not going to steal my idea."

"I wasn't going to." Quinn stated turning back to the jewellery counter. "I won't tell. I promise."

"Yeah and I wouldn't care if you were the world's best secret keeper. I'm not telling you."

Truth was she kept it a secret because it was personal. She had to think hard about what to get her and if she would actually like it or not. She hoped Brittany would and even though it did cost quite a bit, it was worth the money but now all she has to worry about is if Brittany would like it or not.

"Fine; we'll go over to the make-up store and see what they have. Sound alright?" Quinn asked walking to the door not bothering to wait for an answer from Santana.

The pair of them made their way through the shops around the mall whilst Quinn tried to find a gift Santana wasn't helping the blonde that much since she was thinking about another blonde and what she was going to wear that night. She gave her opinion on the gifts when Quinn asked but otherwise she was thinking to herself. Eventually they had made their way to a photo shop to look at different picture frames.

"I think I'll just get her a picture of our group of friends." Quinn said finally making a decision. "I mean I'm sure she doesn't have many pictures of friends after her last school experience."

"That's great Q. You got that picture we all took?" Santana asked looking through her phone to try and find the picture herself. "I don't think I have it; must've deleted it."

"Yeah, I have it on my phone." Quinn responded taking her sim card out taking it to a machine in the shop. "How about you choose a frame?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Santana said nodding her head walking towards the picture frame. "Small or large?"

"Small will do."

Santana walked to the picture frames and looked at the selection they had there. If it was going to be a gift to Brittany it had to be perfect even if it wasn't from her. Brittany deserved perfection so she had to choose something that suited her best. She saw frames that were the color gold, blue, red and some that were even orange. Really, who even has an orange photo frame? It looks really weird but beside the point. She scanned over the different frames walking down the aisle then she saw one that caught her eye. It had the word friends on it and the make of it was just impeccable. It was a silver frame with the word 'friends' at the top with a butterfly beside it in the right hand corner in gold then at the bottom was the quote 'the family we choose ourselves'. Santana smiled and picked it up walking to Quinn who just finished printing out the picture.

"Get this frame. I think Britt will love it." Santana said, giving the frame to Quinn looking at the picture that had just been printed out. She couldn't stop the smile that was forming on her face.

Quinn looked at the picture and smiled. "It's beautiful. Okay, I'll get that then we can get out of here. It feels like we've been here for hours."

After paying for the picture frame the girls walked out of the store and out of the mall completely. It was not a nice place to be when it was busy since you could never walk anywhere without someone getting in the way. Santana definitely hated that since all she wanted to do was push the person who got in her way, but if that person was a child she couldn't exactly just push them since she could get accused of hurting a child and she would rather not go through something like that.

The pair of them decided to sit on a bench outside at the park since they had some time to kill before they had to get ready for the party that night. Santana was excited, obviously, but she was still nervous over how Brittany would react over it.

"So…what's going on with you and Brittany?" Quinn asked, putting the bags on the bench between them.

"Nothing." Santana lied looking down at her fingers not knowing what to say. She knew they weren't an official couple and they liked each other, but what do you call that?

"As if Santana. You two are hanging around all the time. Do you like her?"

Santana stayed quiet before shrugging her shoulders and mumbling, "Kinda."

"Kinda? Santana, you either like her or you don't." Quinn commented looking at her friend turning her body to look at her. "Are you scared to admit it?"

Santana shook her head and sighed. "No but it is hard. She doesn't speak and she doesn't like people touching her or touching others so we decided to wait until she's more into her therapy. But she has touched me before."

"What?" Quinn questioned; not sure if she heard right. "She touched you? That's a big deal!"

"Well yeah course it is and I'm proud of her. I wish I could just kiss and hold her though." Santana admitted with a sigh running her fingers through her hair. "Imagine if Rachel didn't let you touch her or let you kiss her. How would you feel?"

Quinn stayed quiet for a few moments. Truth was she would hate it; the pair of them touched and kissed quite often. Plus they hold hands, so imagining not being able to do any of that is sort of impossible now. "I can't even imagine that."

"Exactly; I really like Brittany and I know because of me she is getting better. I love that." Santana said with a smile on her face.

"The question is, how long are you willing to wait before you realize you can't do it anymore?"

For the first time, Santana didn't know what she could say to answer that.

xxxxxxxxx

Brittany and Rachel were driving to the party that was a surprise for Brittany. She had her hair different and she was wearing make-up which wasn't usually the case with her since she didn't usually try to impress anyone, but tonight is different. Santana will be there which means she has to look her best and not dress like she usually does. Rachel hadn't given her any hints to where she was taking her or what they would be doing so Brittany was completely clueless. She looked out of the window whilst Rachel drove then turned to her and waited for her to look at her before signing.

" _Rachel, you know that you love me?_ " Brittany asked hoping to get something out of her.

"I do love you, but no. Stop trying to get it out of me. It won't work." Rachel replied with an amused look on her face then looking back at the road.

Brittany sighs louder than usual and waits for Rachel to look back before trying again. " _Keeping secrets between best friends is bad._ "

Rachel chuckled and shook her head looking back at the road to see where she was going. "Brittany, you can last five minutes without knowing where we are going."

Brittany huffed folding her arms looking out the window. It seemed like they were in the middle of town but she couldn't tell since it's not she came into town a lot. She mainly stayed at home unless she went out somewhere with Rachel or Santana. Her social life had gotten better lately but it wasn't exactly a social life of a cheerleader or footballer. Saying that Rachel was on the football team but Brittany knew she would rather just stay in with Quinn than go out and party all night. It was apparently their little secret.

Rachel pulled up and switched the engine off signifying they were at the venue where the party is. Brittany looked at the building in awe. It was a large building that looked something along the lines of a club, and it even had security outside. Brittany got out and walked onto the pavement standing next to Rachel still in shock over it. She hadn't ever had a party before since she never wanted one once Zach died and before he did they always wanted something other than a party, so this was the first one that was just for her. She had her eyes locked on the building in front of her and was in her own mind so deep she was startled when she heard Rachel's voice.

"What do you think?" Rachel asked hesitantly, looking at her best friend fiddling with her fingers nervously. "I wanted your first party to be something you remember."

Brittany turned her gaze to Rachel and smiled. " _This looks amazing Rachel!_ "

"Really? It's not too much, right?" Rachel asked playing with her fingers. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

" _I'll be just fine. I have you and San there to help me so I'm sure that will help me through it._ " Brittany assured, giving Rachel a smile to show her she would be okay no matter how nervous she was. " _Trust me._ "

Rachel sighed but nodded anyway knowing Brittany wanted to get through this. She had invited a few people to the party but since it was a large place she was worried other people from school had found out ad invited themselves. She couldn't do anything though since she knew Brittany wanted to do this; to get Santana to see how sexy she could be and to kiss her. She knew Brittany would have to find that courage but she believed in her.

The pair of them walked up to the doors and was given access inside. Brittany looked around the room and was shocked by what she saw. There were a lot more people than she had anticipated and it did scare her a little but she felt better knowing Rachel was stood beside her. One thing that did make it upsetting though was that none of these people knew the real reason for the party and were only there for the party. There were a lot of people dancing and talking and Brittany felt her heartbeat speed up and her palms were starting to sweat. She couldn't do this. Her anxiety started to kick in which caused her breathing to go uneven. Rachel seemed to know this and stood in front of her.

"We can leave. I know this is your party but obviously the school found out and came anyway." Rachel explained looking at Brittany with her eyes full of concern. "Don't force yourself if you're not ready."

Brittany was just about to turn and leave when she saw Santana walking up to them with a look of relief in her eyes. Brittany had no idea what she was doing or how she found the confidence but once Santana was close enough she flung her arms around Santana's neck gripping onto her tightly burying her face into her neck pressing her body against hers. She felt so scared and even though the fact that she was touching someone scared her, she needed Santana.

Santana was shocked to say the least. Brittany was hugging her and with the look of shock in Rachel's eyes, she knew it shocked her as well. Even though Santana knew it was because of fear, she was glad she could have her close to her after the conversation with Quinn she had earlier. Santana closed her eyes and moved her arms around Brittany hugging her back tightly. Having the blonde in her arms had never felt so nice and she knew Brittany could very much go back to the no touching afterwards, but Santana didn't care. She was just glad she could experience this, even if this was the one and only time. Santana moved her lips close to her ear.

"I can make everyone leave who wasn't invited. How about that?" Santana whispered holding the blonde close to her. "You deserve to feel comfortable at your own party."

Brittany shook her head not wanting to move right now. All she could concentrate on was Santana' arms around her and how safe she felt in her arms. Brittany hadn't felt anyone touching her since she became afraid of it but now she needed it. She needed Santana to keep holding her and to not let go so she could forget about all of the people. She needed to feel safe.

Santana help onto Brittany for a few minutes when she saw the rest of the school leaving the people she actually knew in the room. She turned to Quinn who had a warm smile on her face looking at the two of them. Quinn had gotten rid of them which she was utterly grateful for since Brittany would be able to calm down a little now. She moved her hands over her back focusing on Brittany instead of everyone else who was watching with shocked faces. She leaned up slightly to whisper into Brittany's ear.

"Hey, how about we go and sit down and see what presents you got?" Santana asked moving her hair over her shoulder. "I'm sure you'll love them but we can do whatever you want."

Brittany pulled away slightly to look at the brunette. She took a deep breath and nodded. " _We can open presents. Just…don't let go. Hold my hand?_ "

Santana smiled brushing the hair out of Brittany's face. "I'll hold your hand as much as you want. It's your birthday and I am so proud of you. I know touching is hard for you and even if it was out of fear, you still hugged me. Remember to write that down in your journal later for the therapist."

Brittany nodded moving her hand down to Santana's sliding her fingers slowly through the Latina's on her left hand. She looked at Santana who was watching her with pride in her face. She blushed under Santana's gaze secretly enjoying how she was looking at her but she wouldn't admit it to anyone.

"How about we go to the table at the far back?" Sam asked pointing towards the corner of the room. "It should fit us all in and also the gifts seem to be all over there."

"Great idea." Mercedes agreed making her way over to the table with everyone else.

The group all sat around the table with Brittany at the edge so she was only sitting next to one person since no one wanted her to feel anxious than she already had tonight. Santana let go of Brittany's hand and when Brittany was about to pull her hand back into hers she calmed down feeling her fingers trace the top of her back. Brittany felt her body relax again and looked at all of the gifts in front of her surprised she had so many. She hadn't had this many gifts since Zack was alive and they got loads of presents from their parents. Fat chance of that happening now so this was nice.

Brittany reached for a small one, but Santana shook her head putting it back down on the table. She looked at the Latina puzzled. Does she not want her opening her gift? She is excited to see her gift the most actually since she knew about Santana getting her one for a week or so now.

"Open mine last." Santana said, pulling the gift in front of her on the table. "It's special."

" _Okay._ " Brittany agreed and picked another one up. It was in wrapping paper so she tore it off and saw a CD with dance music on it. She looked at it and grinned.

"That's from me." Mercedes says taking a sip of her drink that was in her hand. "Rachel told me you liked to dance so you might as well be dancing to the best tunes of the year."

" _Thank you so much!_ " Brittany said putting it on the side after looking through the music. It had artists from Brittany Spears to Michael Jackson who she loved to dance to. Britney was definitely an idol of hers and she loved dancing to her. Brittany saw a present and saw Rachel pushing it towards her.

"That one is from me. Hope you like it Britt."

The blonde smiled and opened up the present to find a couple of boxes of dots and the DVD Lady and the Tramp. She grinned looking at Rachel.

" _You are amazing Rachel! I've been looking for this movie forever!_ "

Rachel chucked and nodded. "I looked through your movie collection, which is huge incase you are all wondering, and I saw that you didn't have it on DVD so I got it for you. Plus it's special edition so it has all kinds of extras on it."

Brittany nodded and smiled looking at the back of the DVD to see what was on it. She smiled and put it down along with the dots next to the CD Mercedes had gotten her and went to the next present. She saw it was from Quinn by reading the tag on it so she opened it and saw a picture frame with the entire group in the photo. She smiled and looked at Quinn.

" _Thank you. I finally have a picture with all my friends now._ "

Quinn nodded moving her hand to hold onto Rachel's. "I thought that might be the case and everyone needs pictures with their friends, so I thought you'd like it."

" _I do, it's great! I'll put it up in my room._ "

Quinn nodded her head leaning it against Rachel's shoulder. Brittany got through all of the other presents. She got a sketch pad and sketching pencils from Tina since, apparently, she looked like an artist. She wasn't wrong because Brittany did enjoy drawing and now she had the right things to do it with. From Sam she just got some chocolates which was nice because they were all her favorites meaning she could eat them later whilst doing her homework or something. She opened her present from Finn and laughed when she saw he had gotten her a tool kit.

"Rachel mentioned you enjoyed fixing your own motocross bike so I thought you should have the right tools for it." Finn says, looking at her with a goofy grin.

Brittany shook her head amused moving to the gifts she had left. Puck apparently is quite a thoughtful person because when she did open his present. she saw a book about social anxiety and how to overcome it. She looked over at Puck surprised since she didn't think it would be something she would think of getting her and she could definitely learn from it. She gave Puckerman a look to show she was grateful and put it to one side. Mike had gotten her a book on all the dance moves around the world. Heck she would be looking at this later.

Once she had opened everyone's gift it got to Santana's. Brittany looked at her watching her push the gift towards her on the table. Everyone was watching intensely to see what Santana had gotten Brittany since she had kept it a big secret and refused to tell anyone when they asked. Santana was watching Brittany since she wanted to know if she liked it or not. Brittany unwrapped the wrapping paper opening the box and gasped putting her hand over her mouth to see a golden locket. It was in the shape of an oval and it looked so beautiful. Brittany looked at Santana in shock wondering how the girl could afford something as expensive as this since it would not have been cheap. Santana motioned her hand to the locket.

"Open it."

Brittany looked back at the locket opening it up and couldn't believe what she saw. In the locket was a picture of her and her brother when they were around five years old. It was one of her favorite pictures, but she hadn't told Santana that. She felt her tears watering just by looking at it but not because she was upset. She was just so amazed that someone would go that far into a present to put personal meaning behind it. She turned to Santana and wrapped her arms around her neck hugging her tight with the pocket between her fingers. She knew she wouldn't take it off as she wanted to have a memory of her brother with her at all times. After about a minute she pulled away looking at Santana.

" _This gift is amazing Santana. I can't believe you went through all this trouble to get me this. I love it. Thank you so much for this._ "

Santana was glad that she liked the present since that was exactly what she was hoping for. She wanted Brittany to have something to show that she did have a brother and even though he wasn't around, she still thought about him. It's hard talking about someone with a friend who hasn't heard of the person. They don't understand so this at least gives Brittany the chance to carry around something of her brother at all times when she wears it.

"How about we all go and dance?" Rachel suggested motioning to the dance floor beside them.

"Heck yes! Let's have some fun!" Puck cheered standing up making his way out of the booth once everyone got up.

Brittany stood up and turned to Santana holding her hand out with an all new confidence she didn't know about. She beamed at Santana who was looking at her with a new found curiosity, looking from her hand to her face.

" _Will you dance with me?_ " Brittany asks, holding her hand back out after finishing signing.

Santana was surprised to say the least but she couldn't help the grin that came over her face. Brittany was willingly touching her and that was the best thing that could have happened tonight. She nodded her head and took her hand standing up. Brittany walked towards the dance floor into the middle of the room twirling Santana on the spot before pulling her into her. Santana didn't understand what was going on but she did like it.

" _How are you touching me without getting scared?_ " Santana asked curiously.

Brittany looked back and had been asking the same question herself. She pulled her hands away for a few seconds to reply. " _I'm not sure but what I do know is that ever since the fear of being touched earlier made me launch myself at you and be able to touch you, tonight has just gotten better. I know I'm not cured, but it's a start right?_ "

Santana smiled and nodded pulling Brittany back into her and got back to dancing. It was nice to just be able to feel Brittany instead of being scared to touch her just like Brittany had been and even though they had a long way to go, it was a start. Brittany looked at Santana then leaned her head on her shoulder enjoying the closeness between them and the dancing they were doing. She didn't usually dance either but tonight was different. She had to make changes and to move on from the past. She knew Zack wouldn't want the life she had for herself so she was going to take all that built up fear and use it to move forward. If she could touch Santana after around about two months of knowing the girl then who knows what she would be able to do in six months.

Brittany walked into her house later that night and sighed in happiness. Tonight had been a big step for her and yes technically it would have taken longer to touch Santana if she hadn't been so scared and in need of comfort, but she had enjoyed tonight nonetheless. She put all of the gifts down on the table and walked into the kitchen to get herself a drink of water. She was glad all of the extra people left since she didn't want them touching her in any way. Plus she didn't even know them so why should they be at her party if she doesn't know them?

Brittany rinsed her glass out after finishing with it then got all the gifts she received and took them up to her room. She didn't know where to put them yet so she decided to just put them in the corner of her room. Brittany decided to get herself ready for bed so she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face and went to the toilet since she didn't like leaving her bed until it was morning since it meant getting up in the dark. Finally she walked back to the bedroom and put her nightclothes on putting her other clothes into the dirty clothes hamper then got herself into bed. She heard her phone go off and couldn't help but feel her face light up when she saw who it was.

**From Santana: I hope you had a great night tonight because I definitely did. I know we said we would wait but I don't think I want that. I like you too much Brittany. How do you feel about going on a date with me? Xx**

A date? Brittany had never even been on one before, but she had heard of Rachel and Quinn going out on dates when they were getting to know each other. It made her stomach feel funny, but in a good way. Santana was asking her out? Oh my god, Santana was asking her out! Brittany's smile widened and the excitement filled her body. She could go on an actual date with someone she really likes. Santana had already given her the confidence to touch her so who knows what else they could do? Brittany typed out a reply not wanting to wait any longer.

**To Santana: I would love to go on a date with you Santana! Can't wait already :D xx**

After sending the message, she laid back down and closed her eyes smiling. How could one girl make her feel so good? She knew that things could easily go wrong but she didn't want to worry about that right now. She heard her phone go off so she picked it up reading it.

**From Santana: Great! This will be the best first date you have ever been on. It is your first date right? I assumed because of the whole not touching or speaking fiasco. Anyway I'm going to knock your socks off with it so get excited :P xx**

Brittany giggled. She didn't know how Santana knew that she hadn't been on a date before but it was right of her to assume. She hadn't been on a date before, but she hadn't ever liked anyone as much as she does Santana, so it made sense.

**To Santana: You are right in saying I've never been on a date before so your assumptions were correct and I have no idea how you will knock my socks off with me wearing them but I can't wait to find out :) Xx**

**From Santana: Good as I don't like making assumptions that are false and you will see how I knock your socks off Britt. Just wait and see ;) Anyway it's late so I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Xx**

**To Santana: Okay! I'm tired too so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thank you for the locket and the dance. I loved both of them. Night :) Xx**

Brittany laid her head down, closing her eyes. She couldn't believe how amazing tonight had gone, but at least it was a good memory she could remember. She felt herself drifting off with the last thought she had was Santana's arms around her and how safe she felt with her.


	18. Chapter 18

Last night had been very different for Brittany, and in some respect, scary. To think that she had been celebrating her birthday for the first time since Zack had died was overwhelming; there is also the fact she had touched someone for the first time in nine years. It was nice but she couldn't help but feel that it was a one-time thing. Since she had met Santana she had been the one person she could ease into touching so last night she launched herself at her out of fear, but what she didn't realise is the fear that she had around her at the time was a lot bigger since it meant more people could touch her. It was why she hugged Santana so she could protect her and have someone she trusts. What if Santana took it the wrong way and thought that they could go into touching all the time?

Brittany was laying in bed thinking through the night before whilst eating her breakfast. She didn't want to lead Santana on then crush her and disappoint her. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. It seemed that one minute she could openly touch her then the next she's going back to being afraid again. She didn't want it to be like this and she couldn't help but think things would be different if she was normal. Brittany closed the book in front of her which she used to write down her touching experiences for the therapist to look at. Maybe she should go and see him today at some point.

She walked into the living room after eating her breakfast to go and watch some TV when she saw a picture on the side f herself and Zack. They were only about two years old and by the looks of it, they had been at the beach that day. Brittany smiled sadly picking up the picture moving her hands over it. This picture was a great memory of the life she had when Zack was alive and if only she could see him one more time she might be able to stop grieving. Brittany had trouble getting over his death since they were twins, but one of the main reasons is that she had never gotten the chance to say goodbye. She also thought it was odd how the murderer had never been known to be caught too. She had looked online and stuff about the killer and Zack wasn't the only child he killed. There were a bunch of others around the block, but what was interesting is they all happened to be young boys around the same age he was. Had he been watching him? She didn't like to think about it but the fact is, if he was dying in hospital she could have said goodbye, but he didn't. Another thing was that it was strange how no one heard him scream, but then again the killer could have covered his mouth.

There was a reason she never celebrated her birthday alongside the fact that it was Zack's birthday too. Her parents didn't seem to celebrate it either because Brittany stopped being in the mood when she was a lot younger. You'd think they'd at least try to celebrate it but no. Brittany stood up and started pacing the kitchen. She shouldn't have celebrated last night then she wouldn't have gotten into all that she had but she does remember the present she got from Santana and she had never been touched before. She walked upstairs to her bedroom and went into the bag she came back with the night before getting the locket out and putting it on. She looked down at it opening it to see a picture of them. It brought tears to her eyes when, really, she shouldn't be getting as upset as she is. She walked back downstairs picking up her phone and calling the number she had saved. It took a couple of rings when there was an answer.

" _Hello and thank you for calling Lima General Therapy Centre. My name is Hannah, how can I help?_ " A person on the other side of the line asked. Brittany's eyes widened realising what she had done. She can't speak so how was she meant to talk to this person? Brittany was about to hang up when the woman spoke again.

" _Hello? Oh you must be one of our selective mutism patients. Hang on a second and I'll set up this device so you can text through your request. Can you put the keypad up on your phone for me?_ " The woman asked so Brittany put the woman on speaker and brought up the key pad on her phone and waited for a response from the woman on the other end of the line. She heard a lot of shuffling so it must be a fiddly device to set up.

Brittany waited for a few minutes silently listening to the noises from the phone when she heard her voice on the other end of the phone again.

" _Okay it's all set up so just text through your response and I'll see it on the screen in front of me_." Hannah explained.

Brittany picked her phone up and began to text through what she wanted to say.

" _Hi, my name is Brittany Pierce and I just wanted to know if Dr Parker was available for a therapy session today_."

" _Hello Brittany. Yes, Dr Parker has got a time this morning about 11 o'clock. Is that alright for you?_ " Hannah asked her. Brittany nodded her head but realised that she couldn't see so she texts back a 'yes' to her for confirmation which the woman seemed to get. " _Okay it's all booked in. I'll see you at eleven o'clock then_."

Brittany nodded and hung up the phone putting it on the side running her fingers through her hair. She looked at the clock and realised she had an hour before she had to go. Since she usually dresses before she leaves her room she had nothing left to do which would definitely make her feel worse. Just when she was about to leave the house her phone vibrated. She walked over to it to see that Santana had text her. Did she want to talk to her at the moment? Truth was, she really did, but she also didn't want to lead her on either. Sighing, Brittany picked up her phone sitting down on the sofa with one her foot propped up on the couch with the other one tucked beneath her. She opened the text from Santana reading it.

**From Santana: Hey B I was just wondering how you were :) Want to hang to for a bit today? Xx**

Brittany sighed again looking up at the ceiling tilting her head back. She groaned out loud in frustration then lifted her head back up looking back at the phone replying since it was the polite thing to do.

**From Brittany: Hey San. I'm sorry but I'm a little busy today. Maybe we could meet another day but thank you for last night. It meant a lot to me what you gave me :) xx**

She sends the message and sighs out loud lying on the couch looking up at the ceiling. So last night she hugged Santana and had her touch her for the majority of the night. She remembers that they even danced together and let's not forget the fact she gave her a locket with a picture of her and Zack in it. But the fact was that she actually had felt comfortable enough around Santana to do that. She wants to do all the things they talked about such as holding hands, cuddling and kissing each other, but it's as though their bodies are both magnets and they repel each other when they get close. That's how Brittany feels with her condition. She wants to touch Santana, but there is a force field stopping her and that's how her mind puts it across. She could put it in any other way but that's the best way to describe it. She sighed and continued her staring contest with the ceiling just hoping that the session would go alright.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Before she knew it, she was sat in the waiting room. Brittany always made sure she was sat away from everyone else and that no one could sit next to her. She didn't want anyone trying to touch her or talk to her. She looked around the room and saw the different sort of people that were here. There were children with their parents to adults who were way into their sixties. Brittany didn't know their stories, but no matter what it was nice that they were getting help. She was glad she was too because sometimes everyone needs a little help, even if they don't blatantly ask you.

"Brittany Pierce?"

Brittany looked over and saw someone standing in a doorway. She stood up walking towards her. " _I'm Brittany._ "

She smiles and motions Brittany to follow her. They walk through the door and down a corridor right to the end until they are standing in front of a door. The woman opens it and smiles reassuringly motioning her to go in. She nods and walks inside sitting down when she sees Dr Parker smiling at her from behind his desk. He takes off his glasses putting them down and entwines his fingers together putting them on the desk in front of him.

"Good morning, Brittany. How are you today?"

Brittany shrugs her shoulders. " _Not sure if I'm okay or not; both I guess._ "

Dr Parker nods and gets up from behind his desk walking to his chair with some paper and a clipboard looking at Brittany. "I see. Did you bring that book I asked you to fill out?"

Brittany nods and hands it over to him watching whilst he flicks through it. She notices that on some pages he stops and reads, but then continues nodding in approval. ' _It must be good right?_ ' Brittany thought watching him curiously awaiting his response which seemed to be taking longer than she thought. It made her anxious. It's not as though what she had written was bad but since he's the therapist, he could say she's not trying hard enough. It's not like he told her to go out and let someone touch her but he expects it. She knows he does even if he doesn't say it out loud.

Dr Parker nods his head and puts it on the table in front of Brittany. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes which worries Brittany but he gives her a bright smile in reassurance. "Brittany, you've done really well. Especially last night when you hugged Santana, held her hand and danced with her. How did that feel?"

" _I freaked out this morning because there was a big group of people that were there when I arrived last night. I looked around getting anxiety, so when I saw Santana I flung myself at her for safety. I think that's the reason I kept her close to me last night; for protection._ " Brittany explained looking at Dr Parker.

"That's understandable, but why exactly did you call to see me?" Dr Parker asked curiously. "You seem to be making fantastic progress."

" _I don't think it was me making progress. I think I just held onto her out of fear and I don't want her thinking that I'm going to be able to hold her hand and stuff like that like normal couples. Let's be honest here. I'm not a normal person._ " Brittany responded with a sigh looking at her fingers whilst she signs.

Dr Parker looked at Brittany in front of him. He had dealt with patients before with Haphephobia, but he had never seen a girl with the condition make such good progress in such a small amount of time with being in therapy. He knew the blonde was stressing out over the situation which he didn't blame her for. He can imagine how stressful it can be. He knew the symptoms to this condition which are things such as having anxiety which can cause panic attacks, doing everything you can possible to avoid being touched and some can even isolate themselves from everyone else. There are a majority of symptoms but those are the main ones. All of it was linked to anxiety so maybe it was time to start the medication with her.

"Brittany, I think the anxiety you have along with the fear of touching I can help with." Dr Parker began writing down a medication on a piece of paper. "I think we should start with the anti-anxiety medication to help you."

Brittany looks up at the therapist. " _What? I don't need medication. I'm fine._ "

Dr Parker writes out a prescription giving it to her. "I want you to take this for a week and no longer. It's only a low dosage so it won't harm you and I want you to see me next week to see how you are getting on. I don't want you relying on this and it is only a trial for this week since I don't believe medication is necessary for this fear. Just give it a go and if any of the symptoms get too bad, then stop taking it."

Brittany takes the piece of paper and nods. It couldn't hurt to try it at least. She put it into her pocket and looked down at her hands which started to move as she began to sign. " _I want to talk about Zack._ "

The therapist looked at her in surprise. She had made it clear that the subject of her brother was off limits until she was ready which he didn't think would be for a few months yet. When it comes to therapy he knows how everyone is different such as some people come in and need help for years whereas others come in and only need a couple of sessions. It depends on the person, but Brittany seemed to be just embracing the therapy but struggling outside of it. It was why he had to go about things differently.

"Okay, if you are sure. You talk about whatever you wish."

Brittany nodded her head and took a deep breath before starting to sign. " _Zack was my best friend. I grew up with him and he was one of the only people I know that understood me better than anyone. He was...he was more than just my twin in some way. I could imagine him being there for the rest of my life with him getting himself a wife and with me getting one too and our families being super close. I wanted that for us but now...now that can't happen obviously._ "

"Do you still think about him a lot?" The therapist asked writing down notes so he could look back at them later for a better understanding. He saw the blonde girl nod her head.

" _Yes. I think about him all the time and I haven't celebrated his birthday since he died...until last night._ " Brittany explained not looking at the man in front of her. "I shouldn't have celebrated our birthday since he wasn't here with me."

Dr Parker nodded his head watching Brittany to see how she reacted to the questions he asked. The last thing he wanted was to push her too far. "Okay so why don't you think you should be able to celebrate your birthday?" He asked watching her. "I mean, it's your birthday too."

Brittany shook her head quickly. " _No, it was our birthday, so now I can't celebrate it because he's not here. It doesn't feel right._ "

It was understandable how Brittany was acting since Zack was her twin brother. He knew that twins were a lot closer than regular brother and sister but something was keeping Brittany hanging onto her brother's death as though he died yesterday. He just had to figure out what that was but that would come with time.

"Okay, I won't begin to understand your connection to Zack since I'm sure it was very strong. Have you visited him since he died? Like gone to his grave?"

Brittany shook her head. " _No. I just can't go and do that. It makes it real that he's dead then._ " Brittany felt her eyes start to tear up at the thought of it. She knew where he was buried but going there? No, she just couldn't.

"I think visiting will help you Brittany. You can talk to him and let him know you miss him." Dr Parker suggested taking his glasses off putting them down. "Just think about it, okay?"

Brittany nodded her head wiping her eyes. She stood up not being able to take another second in the room. Dr Parker understood and stood up with his notebook closing it.

" _I'm sorry I just...I can't._ " Brittany said apologising to the therapist feeling guilty for making an appointment for a session that wasn't even that long. Dr Parker shook his head with a smile on his face.

"Don't apologise. It's a hard subject for you to talk about and believe me when I say; you have a lot more courage than most."

She shook her head in disagreement. " _I don't. My brother has been dead almost ten years and I'm still grieving._ "

"There is no limit to how long you grieve and one day you will accept it and be able to live on without him." The therapist assured walking to the door opening it to let her out. "Don't fret on this. You will get better and we will talk more about this next week."

The blonde sighed and nodded before waving and walking out. She wasn't sure where she was heading yet since she wasn't sure if home would be the best place to go at the present time, but where else would there be for her to go? She could go to Santana's but she didn't really want to see her at the moment. It wasn't that she was trying to avoid her, but after yesterday she couldn't face her. What could she say? 'Sorry that I touched you but I think I only did that because I was scared?' Brittany knew Santana would be disappointed and she didn't want to see that disappointed look on her face. But then again she hadn't tried to touch Santana since last night either. She just made an assumption that she wouldn't be able to.

Looking around she noticed there was a sign for the cemetery and couldn't help but let he mind drift back to her session. Her therapist had mentioned going to visit her brother's grave after all but the thing is; could she do it? She looked at the sign for the cemetery and paid attention to the way the sign looked old and worn then made a decision. She let her feet move towards the cemetery knowing that she had to do this.

Walking into a cemetery was never something that people enjoyed. She looked around and saw all of the gravestones with writing on the showing who was buried there. Some were newer than others and some graves looked like they hadn't been visited for many years. It was a fact that some people maybe didn't get to have that. They didn't get to have people visit them anymore due to their families moving away or not bothering. But then what did that say about her? She hadn't visited her brother even though she knew where he was buried and in the exact location. He was buried near the large tree between two gravestones. It was awful when you saw that a child had died and was buried into the earth amongst many other bodies that were buried. Children weren't meant to die. They were meant to be children and enjoy life, not die before they got the chance.

Walking through the graveyard wasn't a fun experience. It felt as though someone was following you and that ghosts were wondering around the place even though it was most unlikely. Brittany walked over the grass towards a marble gravestone that was a cream colour and knelt in front of it. Someone had been to the grave recently and she could bet she could guess who had visited. It had been their birthday not long ago so her parents most likely came to visit. They were the only people she could think of since all of the other family she had moved away. She didn't blame them since what happened to Zack was awful and if she could, she'd do the same.

Brittany moved her fingers over the top of the stone feeling the smoothness of the marble then down the lettering that was engraved onto the front of the stone. It read:

_Precious memories of_

_Zackary Daniel Pierce_

_20th February 1997-25th November 2003_

_A Wonderful Son & Twin Brother_

_Forever In Our Hearts_

_'Goodbyes Are Not Forever, Goodbyes Are Not The End,_

_They Simply Mean I'll Miss You Until We Meet Again'_

She smiled at the gravestone and the quote her parents had decided to put at the bottom of it. She remembers how she had shown that to them after he died even though she was at her lowest. She saw it in a magazine and pointed to it showing it to them which made them smile since most of the time she didn't mother communicating. She had no idea they had put it on the stone but apparently they decided to. She pulled her hand away from the stone and saw the picture of Zack that was engraved into the corner near his name. To see a picture of him that was recent before he died was nice since it showed others who looked what he would have looked like when he died.

Brittany looked up at the sky then back down and noticed the sun was beaming down onto Zack's gravestone. It was unusual, but for some reason she felt as though he was watching her; it made her feel a whole lot better about visiting. She knew that if Zack was watching over her, he would be excited to see her since they were like that as kids which made her happy that she decided to come along. She did miss him and was having trouble accepting his death even after him being gone for so long. She took a deep breath and did something that she hadn't done in ten years.

"Hey Zack"


	19. Chapter 19

Sitting at Zack's grave was definitely different. She had never been to the cemetery before let alone his grave and now that she was there, she felt mixed emotions. She remembered all the good times the both of them had up to his death and she still had the image stuck in her mind seeing him on the floor in a pool of his own blood. It still haunted her, but right now it wasn't something she wanted to think about.

For the first time since she was young she had spoken with words instead of using sign language. She knew that Zack couldn't see her hands moving to do sign language which was one reason why she wasn't using it, but the other reason was that she wanted Zack to hear her voice. Before he died she was speaking so she wanted him to hear the same voice he remembers. Yes, it was going to be different since she is older, but she's sure he'll recognise it anyway. Brittany was happy that she finally had that confidence to speak to someone, even if it was with her brother. She just felt that with her brother it was different. She could actually be herself.

She looked at the gravestone and smiled then looked up at the sky. She knew Zack was watching which was why there was a light shining down on the gravestone. It was why she spoke actually since she knew he was there with her. It made her feel a lot better and it gave her the confidence to find her voice again. Definitely progress to tell the therapist, but it was also something personal to her as well. It would be a personal achievement which definitely made her feel a bit better.

"I...umm...I don't know what to say actually," Brittany started looking at her fingers letting out a small chuckle. "I have so much to tell you, but it's getting it all out. I miss you a lot Zack and, to be honest, I've felt broken since you left. I know you didn't want to but...it doesn't make the pain any less."

Brittany fiddled with her fingers and sighed. What was she doing exactly? She was talking to a grave stone looking like a complete idiot was the answer to that. She knew exactly why she didn't come here before; she had no idea what to say. She felt guilty, sad but also glad that he wasn't in pain any longer because it wasn't like his death would have been painless. She sighed and looked up from her fingers looking at the gravestone.

"I know you know this but...you're the first person I've been able to talk to in years. I don't know what happened, but your death just had an effect on me so I couldn't speak. Luckily, my therapist knows sign language or we'd have a huge problem." She explained laughing a little. "Mom and dad don't get me but let's be honest, you were the only person to get me. You knew me better than myself which, in a way, I'm glad. You were my twin after all, but I didn't expect you to leave so soon."

She looked around to make sure no one was watching her feeling her anxiety start to come up. She didn't want other people looking at her talking to her brother. It was probably also due to the fact that she hadn't spoken to anyone in years and wanted to keep it that way with everyone else. She just wasn't ready and since that night when she found her brother dead, she felt empty; it was one of the reasons why she stopped speaking in the first place. She remembers how she spoke to him every day and even at night when they went to each other's rooms, after their parents made them get separate rooms, and talked when they couldn't sleep. It was hard which was why she went into a state of shock in a way which caused her selective mutism. After some time she began to hate crowds and people touching her since it was Zack who helped her with her confidence around other people. Without him there to help her, she had no one to convince her to go and play with other children, and also after finding her brother dead, it caused her to only trust people she knew well. Why should she trust strangers if one of them killed her brother?

"I'm sorry about what happened to you. I still feel guilty up to this day and I really wish I could have saved you. Maybe if I didn't fall asleep I would have heard you and I could have screamed so mom and dad heard and they could have stopped your killer." Brittany explained feeling her eyes start to water. "I have actually thought about something. I know I want to be a dancer or a motocross racer but maybe I could be a police officer. I could arrest all the bad people so they can't kill anyone else like someone did to you. No one deserves to be murdered even if they are a bad person. Well, maybe if they were a murderer they would deserve it, but otherwise, no."

Brittany looked up at the sky when she felt a drop of rain on her head and noticed that the sky was looking quite dark, but she didn't even want to move. She wanted to sit here and talk to her brother because she knew that if she didn't get it all out now what she wanted to say, she never would. It was hard enough getting here after her therapy session but to get up and leave and have the courage to come back was another story. Let's just say she had a lot to work on.

"I'm actually really proud of myself right now. I never thought I would ever have the confidence to talk to anyone again, but here I am talking to you. I guess it's because I am used to talking to you since we did that a lot when we were younger." Brittany said with a quiver in her voice. "I just wish I could talk to other people such as Rachel and Santana. They have been my rocks for the past few months and I just...I wish I could talk to them. Plus Santana hasn't ever heard my voice, but the thing is we're only getting into the touching part of our relationship, and to go straight into talking is too much for me. I think you would like her actually. She's amazing and I really want to be with her but the thing is I know she can do better than me."

It was true. Brittany looked at Santana and she couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Anyone in the school could have her and she spent her time with her? If she didn't have Haphephobia and selective mutism, Brittany knew she would have more of a chance than she does now. Generally all people thought of when they saw her was how weird she was. Well, that's what everyone thought at her old school and she ended up running out of school and not returning. She had people like Rachel, Santana, Sam, Quinn etc who didn't think she was weird but in the back of her mind she had thoughts that they were laughing behind her back or talking about her and she hated it. She hated feeling insecure and relying on people to help her through high school. She knew she was getting help at least but that wasn't the point. She wanted to do things by herself around school instead of having someone communicate for her. She knew talking to her brother was a huge step on her behalf but that wasn't talking to someone who was there in person. It was frustrating.

"I have a teacher at school that helps me with my work. Her name is Sadie Holmes and she helps me with my work because I'm Dyslexic," Brittany explains, looking up at the sky as though she would be able to see her brother then back down to look at the stone, "but it's not even a big deal since everyone has something they aren't good at, right? I mean yeah I hated it at first because I felt dumb, but now I'm learning to accept it. I still hate it because everyone else doesn't have to put nearly as much work in and they get a good grade, whereas there is me who works so hard and still only comes out with a C grade."

Brittany looked down at her fingers once again feeling tears roll down her face. "I want to tell you the story of why I left the school I was at before McKinley. I've not even told Rachel or my parents this story so you'll be the first. I know you probably saw what happened, but I need to get it out before it stays inside me even longer."

The blonde took a deep breath then breathed out again feeling nervous about announcing this to someone for the first time. She knew that once she had told Zack she could, maybe, think about telling Rachel too and then Santana. She was trying at least.

"Okay, so class had just ended and I got a text from an unknown number to go to the gym." Brittany began playing with her fingers to try and get through the pain of telling a story she had to go through. She was trying and that was the main thing. "I wasn't going to go but I was curious, which I really wished I wasn't. I walked to the gym and stood in the middle of the room looking around when most of the school turned up and they were smirking at me. I-I was terrified Zack. I knew that they must be up to something but I couldn't run away. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor and I had no way of escaping."

Brittany took a few breaths to calm herself down so she wouldn't break down in the middle of a graveyard. It wasn't the best move since everyone would be able to see who were visiting but lucky for her, no one was. It was a time she could be alone away from everyone. She was glad no one else was here since this was a private moment, and if someone was waiting for her, she felt the need to finish up what she is doing as fast as possible. She preferred doing things aloe so she didn't have that thought in the back of her mind. Her lip was quivering slightly but she knew saying this now was best.

"I...umm...I had everyone surround me getting into my personal space. Loads of people touched me and it freaked me out so much that I pushed everyone away and just ran down the street. It felt horrible and I had this recurring dream about it. How everyone was laughing at my face as I ran away. It was awful and even though they all knew I hated people touching me, they still freaked me out by doing it. It was a joke to them but to me, it's my life and I have this fear that they they thought I was making up." Brittany explained looking down into her lap with her tears rolling down her face.

Just thinking back to what happened was a hard thing to do but she wanted to get everything out whist she still could. At some point she would freeze up and stop most likely, and she wanted Zack to hear her for as long as possible before she had to go. She had felt her phone vibrate a number of times but since this was a personal moment, she wanted to be alone through it.

"I know it was stupid to run away but I had to so I wouldn't feel all their hands on me." Brittany said looking up at the stone. "Anyway I'm just glad I could tell someone even if you're not here physically. I love you Zack and no matter what, you'll always be with me because we can't be separated. We're twins forever remember? We said that when we were at the top of the hill in Lima. What I would give to have you here with me. I always wonder what you would look like now." The sound of thunder came from the sky which made Brittany look up in worry. She hated thunder and she definitely didn't want to get caught here in the rain or when it was dark. It already freaked her out by being here so she didn't want to get even more freaked out. Brittany looked back at the headstone then stood up moving her hand over the marble it was made out of. She would have to visit more often because, in all honesty, she was glad she came since it gave her the chance to talk to her brother for once and admit things to him that she couldn't with anyone else. It made her feel a lot better.

"Okay, I have to go because it looks like it's going to start raining. Plus I hate thunder so." Brittany stated with a sigh. She leant down and kissed the stone then stood up straight again. "I love you Zack and don't forget that. It's you and me forever."

Brittany looked at the stone one last time before walking out of the cemetery and out onto the street again. She took a deep breath and sighs breathing out actually relieved. She took a big step doing that and she knows she would be able to do that again since it would be easier the next time. Brittany walked back towards her house proud of herself for once.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany arrived at home and walked inside. Lucky for her, no one was in. She decided to grab something to eat quickly with a bottle of water and walked upstairs to her room. She closed the door lying down on her bed sighing happily. She had just spoken for the first time in years and it was definitely something she could tell her therapist. Maybe things were going to start going well for her after all. But some couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her someone had heard her. She couldn't remember seeing anyone there so she must have been alone. It was just a feeling that scared the hell out of her frankly. She went there to see Zack and ended up speaking to him but that didn't mean she wanted someone else to hear her.

The shock of remembering what she did was overwhelming. She was definitely shocked over what she did but even though she was, she was happy. She got to talk to her brother and tell him about what was going on which included the story of why she left her old school. She hadn't told anyone that story but she told him because it was due to his death she stopped speaking in the first place. She couldn't believe after so long she had actually spoken out loud and not through sign language. It was definitely easier, but at the end of the day she still had social anxiety. She was getting there but it wasn't completely gone or anything. It was just easier to deal with.

When she was younger and Zack was alive they did everything together. They woke up, brushed their teeth, had breakfast etc all together and all the activities they did such as building forts and playing tag outside they did together. It was hard to separate them actually, but she won't ever regret her time with her brother. She got six years of his life and that was better than nothing, right? She could have not had any at all if he died at birth or something which wouldn't have given them any time together. She really wishes she had more time and she had been grieving for so long but, for some reason, after the talk she had with him she feels better. She knows her therapist said it would, but she didn't want to admit it. Who wants to admit that someone is right? Brittany sighed and sat up then stood up leaning over her bed to grab a box from underneath it which was labelled 'Childhood Memories'. She lifted the box onto the bed looking at it for a few seconds before opening it up putting the lid on the bed. She smiled when she saw all of the pictures from when she was younger and most of them included Zack. There were pictures from when she was a baby up to when she was probably ten. Most of the older photos didn't really show her as a happy child, but she didn't blame her younger self. Who would be happy after their twin died?

She reached into the box and picked up a picture which was taken when she and Zack were around 4 years old. They looked happy and smiling along with their parents. She remembers that they had a baby sitter a lot when they were younger due to her parents working but it didn't stop them from having fun. They usually preferred to be alone actually and let the baby sitter do what they wanted and sat down when it was time to eat. They had been very energetic children and always loved running around. They were always together and Zack never made her feel stupid about anything. She could imagine him being the same now which was kind of sad to think about but she did think about that a lot. She couldn't help it. She did wish he was here but since she couldn't exactly go back in time and stop it, she had to start living in the present and accepting the fact that he was gone. It was going to take some time but in the back of her mind Brittany always knew that. She knew it wasn't right to grieve for years and yes people do grieve for a long time but she's never heard of someone grieving for nine years over a person. It didn't seem normal to her, but maybe the therapist could help her move on. It would certainly help a lot.

Brittany smiled looking at the different pictures when her phone went off. She saw Rachel had text her so she opened it reading the text.

**From Rachel: Hey Britt! I was wondering if I could come over. I remember you had your therapy session but I've not heard anything back so I got worried xx**

She liked how protective Rachel was over her. It was nice that even after so long she was here. She loved Rachel like her own sister since she definitely protected and loved her like one. She knew that the brunette would be there for her and accept her for who she was no matter what which was exactly what she had been doing most of her life. Isn't that what family was about? People loving and caring for you no matter what faults you have? She knew that Rachel was her family and she wouldn't deny it if someone asked either. She replied to the message.

**To Rachel: Hey Rae! Sorry that I didn't text you but I have something to tell you. Come on over. You know how to get in yourself anyway :P xx**

She was about to put her phone down when her text tone went off before she could showing a message from Rachel again.

**From Rachel: You are so right. I'll see you soon! Xx**

Brittany chuckled shaking her head in amusement putting her phone down before taking one look at the Christmas photo before putting it away with the rest. She puts the lid on top and slides it back under the bed hidden away from public viewing. She likes to keep some things a secret and that would be one of them. It was just personal to her that was all.

The blonde stood up stripping her clothes off from earlier dressing in a pair of shorts and a tank top before putting her phone in her back pocket of her shorts walking downstairs. She made a glass of water for herself to drink and went to the living room to sit down and wait for Rachel. Because of Brittany's disorder it wasn't the fact that she wasn't good looking that people teased her and made fun of her. She thought she was pretty damn hot when she looked in the mirror. She didn't even have to work out much apart from going running and making sure to keep her stomach toned up. She turned the TV on putting on a DVD before grabbing a popcorn bag to heat up in the microwave. As that was heating up, she heard the doorbell ring so she walked to the door opening it with a smile to see Rachel standing there.

"Hey Britt!"

Brittany opened the door wider allowing Rachel inside. She walked to the living room with her sitting on the arm of the couch with her feet on a cushion whilst Rachel sat leaning against the other arm of the couch facing Brittany. The blonde definitely looked happier to her than she thought she would be after a therapy session actually which was strange.

" _How was your therapy session?_ "

Brittany shrugged her shoulders then heard the microwave go off so she stood up walking to the kitchen to get the popcorn pouring it into a large bowl. She brought it back to the living room sitting back where she was putting the popcorn on the table, taking a few pieces popping them in her mouth.

"Well it might you know. It's something to think about." Brittany said in agreement looking at the DVD playing before turning back to the blonde. "What did you say?"

" _It was near the end and I told him that it would be too upsetting to go._ "

"I understand that but it's something to think about right?"

Brittany sighed and nodded. " _Yeah I guess. I have something to tell you though._ "

Rachel raised her eyebrow. "Oh yeah? What's that then?"

The blonde girl grinned eating some popcorn again before moving her hands excitedly. " _I spoke today!_ "

Rachel looked at Brittany in shock. She hadn't expected that at all. She hadn't spoke to anyone in ten years so it was definitely an improvement. First it was Brittany touching Santana and now it was her talking. She had never been so happy to hear these things happening to her best friend. She had wanted her to get better for so long and even though she accepted Brittany for who she was, she deserved a life without all of this. She seemed to be getting better and she was relieved that she was. Brittany deserved a life like the rest of them and one of the reasons she hadn't been because she had been grieving over her brother but now, it was totally different. She had spoken for crying out loud!

"Oh my god Brittany, that's fantastic!" Rachel said with a grin on her face. "Did you speak to the therapist?"

The blonde shook her head in response. " _No, but I went to Zack's grave and-_ "

"Woah hold on. You went to Zack's grave?" Rachel asked in shock, sitting up straight crossing her legs. "How did it go?"

" _It went fine. Anyway I went there and when I sat down I just...I ended up speaking. It was as though I was talking to Zack. Apart from you, he was my best friend as a child and we did everything together, and after he died it was such a shook that I stopped speaking. One of the reasons was shock and I also didn't get to say goodbye to him. Usually if a person dies you get to say goodbye, but I didn't. The last thing I said to him was goodnight and that was it._ " Brittany explained turning to look at the TV and smiling sadly seeing two characters hug on it before turning back to Rachel. " _No one will understand how I feel because he was my twin. When your twin dies it's as though a part of you dies with them. It's why I have grieved for so long, but I understand now that I can't do this forever._ "

Rachel listened whilst Brittany explained and she couldn't believe it. After so long she knew her best friend was starting to get better. She would never say that she wasn't 'normal' so to say before, but now she definitely was starting to get back into living her life again. It was nice to see Brittany happy about being able to talk and wanting to touch other people and she was just proud of her like never before. She wanted Brittany to live her life to the best of her ability and she was going to be able to do that. She helped her as much as she could but now she was moving forward instead of living in the past and she was so happy to hear that.

"Brittany, I'm so proud of you. You're moving forward now and I'm just so happy that you are. You deserve to live your life and I've never seen you so happy before. You're excited about speaking for the first time and before you were excited about wanting to touch Santana and kiss her." Rachel explained with a small smile on her face. She might be a little jealous about that part, the touching not the kissing, but she was still happy for her. "I'm just so happy for you!"

Brittany nodded and smiled. She was happy for herself. She was excited about moving forward and especially with Santana. She had been the main person who had caused her to want to move forward. It wasn't that Rachel hadn't caused her to want to move forward or anything, but everything seemed to change since she met Santana. She had stayed in the past before and now she was moving forward. She's pretty sure Santana was the one who suggested seeing a therapist and now look at her. She talked to Zack and she had hugged Santana. Well that was more out of fear and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to do that again but she was getting there. She had made a lot of progress and she knew before she knew it she would be living her life being able to talk and touch others.

She heard her phone vibrate on the table. She reached over and picked it up and smiled when she saw who had text her. Funny how she had been thinking about Santana and then she had decided to text her. She must have been thinking about her too. Well she hoped so anyway. She opened up the message reading it.

**From Santana: Hey Britt! I was thinking about coming over but you seem to want some space so I decided to text you instead. I just wanted to confirm our date on Friday. I was thinking about picking you up at around 7pm. Is that okay? :) Xxx**

She seemed as though she needed space? Had she come across that way? She didn't mean to if she had. Oh it must have been when she didn't want to talk to her because of being worried about not being able to touch her again. That must be it. Brittany bit her lip then text back.

**To Santana: Hey San! Yeah I'm sorry about being a little distant. It's just that after the party last night I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to touch you again and I was scared you wouldn't want to go on this date. I'm sorry for coming off as needing space. You're the one person I want to talk to. And 7pm is great :) xxx**

Rachel looked at her best friend curiously. Every time she got a text she got a huge smile on her face which, she assumed, was because of a certain Latina texting her. She was a bit hocked over the concept of the two of them potentially getting together but what Brittany had said to her was right. She couldn't think of a feasible excuse as to why they shouldn't date. Santana was a good person and she wasn't going to deny that. Santana would be perfect for Brittany actually, but it was the fact that it was her childhood best friend and one of her high school best friends being together that was just weird to her. She couldn't come up with a logical explanation but in her head, it seemed weird. Brittany's phone went off again signalling a new message. She could literally sit there and text the brunette all day but it was rude with Rachel in the room. She'd have to end the conversation as quick as possible.

**From Santana: Hey it's okay and if you can't touch me it's okay. I like your company and I would like it on the date too. If you can't touch me then you can't but I know you are getting better. You'll get there Britt. Okay, I'll pick you up at 7 then! Xxx**

Brittany smiled and put her phone down on the table. She couldn't wait for the date already and it was only Sunday. She had a whole five days, excluding today, which was a long time to wait for a date. She knew it'd be Friday before she knew it but for the entire week she could just annoy Santana until she told her where they were going. That was always fun. She looked at Rachel and noticed her staring at her. " _What?_ "

The brunette shook her head. "I've never seen you so happy before. Santana really makes you happy, doesn't she?"

" _Yeah she does and I know it's weird for you but please just accept it._ " Brittany said offering the popcorn to Rachel who politely declined. " _She's the reason I'm getting better because I want to be with her. She's special to me and I know we've only known each other around almost three months but she's amazing and I just...I really like her. Please just give her a chance? For me?_ "

Shocked was definitely a word Rachel would use right now. She hadn't known Santana that long but the way she spoke so passionately about her was sweet. She knew she couldn't be a bitch about this and even if she didn't like it she knew Santana would just ignore her and go out with Brittany anyway so she kind of didn't have a choice. She just wanted to protect her best friend, but with Santana she had a feeling she didn't need to. She was actually a decent person. Rachel thought it might be because she didn't like sharing Brittany since she's always had her to herself, but Brittany being happy was more important. She sighed then smiled nodding her head

"Alright, I'll give her a chance for you. I know you don't need my approval or anything anyway, but you should go out with Santana. If she's as special as you say then go for it. What do you have to lose really?"

Brittany looked at her confused. " _Am I supposed to lose something?_ "

Chuckling, Rachel shook her head amused. "No I mean...just go for it Brittany. Just keep trying to get better and before you know it you'll be holding Santana's hand down the street. I know she'll look after you and be the perfect girlfriend to you but if she hurts you, I'll kick her ass."

Brittany giggled nodding her head. " _Okay that's fair. How about we just have a traditional Pieberry day?_ " Brittany asked grinning.

"What? What the hell is Pieberry?"

" _It's Pierce and Berry put together, duh. So how about it?_ "

Rachel couldn't deny how much she had missed her best friends humour and nodded her head. The comments she came out with and the words she sometimes made up were just...so Brittany. She loved that about her. She was so unbelievably random which is why they got along so well. They always had a laugh together and even with their lives completely different they still found ways to chill out together just like best friends are supposed to. She didn't know where she would be without Brittany and she knew she felt the same way about her. Rachel just grinned and nodded her head.

"I would love that and that name is totally awesome too. Let's have a Pieberry day! But I'm picking the first topic of the night. When is your first date with Santana?" Rachel asked looking at her innocently.

Brittany's eyes widened and she shoved some pieces of popcorn into her mouth. Well, this would be an interesting night to say the least.


	20. Chapter 20

Clothes were currently scattered everywhere in Brittany's room. It was four o'clock on the Friday of her date with Santana and she had nothing to wear. Well that was what she thought anyway. Nothing seemed right which would mean the date wouldn't go right and the whole evening would be ruined! She needed to make herself look beautiful for Santana because she was always stunning whenever she saw her. She had been captivating from the moment they met and hadn't stopped, but that was most likely her own interpretation. She groaned in frustration throwing dresses front right and centre before turning around and looking at the floor. It was a mess and she still hadn't found anything to wear. She turned to the clock and noticed how she had been searching for a dress for over an hour now and she was even still in her towel from earlier since she showered.

Santana hadn't told her to dress up or anything but since it was a date she felt like she needed to It was a time for her to be able to look beautiful for a reason and on the plus side she would be able to finally connect with someone on a level she hadn't been able to before due to her condition. She was going on her first date and she was super excited. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about it either which was the great thing about it. She kept imagining what Santana had planned and how they would be together holding hands and stuff like that. She couldn't wait, but she wanted Santana to want it too and even though she knew she did, it didn't stop her curiosity. Walking to her drawers she got out some underwear putting it on before finally deciding on a pair of jeans that made her ass look good, well in her opinion, and a vest top along with a jacket. She looked at herself in the mirror and she did look pretty good if she did say so herself. Brittany picked up all of the rest of her dresses shoving them back in her closet and closing the door. Now just to dry her hair and do her makeup then she would be done. No harm done.

After getting ready Brittany looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She looked pretty amazing if she was being honest with herself and she even had half an hour to spare to just relax. All through the day she had been receiving text messages from Rachel trying to get her to talk but she wasn't going to do that. She wasn't going to seem as though she was freaking out or anything of the sort. She loved Rachel to pieces, she was her best friend after all, but sometimes she needed moments to herself and this was one she just wanted to share with Santana. She had told Rachel a few things such as how she was excited but that was it since she didn't know much herself. Santana had been very secretive about the entire thing and even though that was cute, it was bugging her to no end. She had tried to get it out of the Latina about where they were going, but she didn't let her convince her to say anything which was the annoying part. Santana was good at keeping things to herself, which was good in some respect, but not this time. Brittany just really wanted to know where they were going. As you can probably tell, she is not a very patient person. Never has been and never will be.

When Brittany heard the doorbell, as you can imagine, she rushed to the door. She had her outfit on along with a pair of black boots which had the legs of her skinny jeans inside them and she had decided to curl her hair too. Frankly, she looked amazing and she's sure Santana would think so too. Well...here's hoping, right? Brittany opened the door to reveal Santana standing there with a smile on her face and a bunch of flowers in her hand. She gave Santana a warm smile allowing her to step into the house. She was wearing a red dress with a black jacket on top of it with a pair of heals which definitely showed off her legs; it was a fact.

"Hey Britt, these are for you, but you probably already knew that." Santana said blushing handing them to her.

Brittany smiled nodding her head thanking her by sign before walking to put the flowers in a vase putting them in the window. How can someone be so adorable and super sexy all at the same time? She can answer that one for you; Santana can be all that at once. Walking back she noticed Santana looked nervous which isn't what Brittany wanted. Santana didn't need to be nervous around her. Walking up to her, Brittany stopped and slowly reached forward which got Santana's attention immediately making her look up at her date. Brittany bit her lip and placed her hand on the side of Santana's neck giving her a smile of reassurance. Santana smiled back and lifted her hand up to place it on Brittany's arm giving it a slightly squeeze. The both of them stood there for a few seconds like that before pulling away. Brittany picked up her phone putting it in her bag turning back to Santana who was staring at her with a look of adoration. She couldn't help blushing.

" _Stop staring San._ "

Santana smiled shaking her head. "I can't help but admire beautiful people; you are the most beautiful person I have ever met in, well, ever."

Brittany bit her lip once again motioning towards the door. Santana winked at her walking to the door stepping outside of the house with Brittany on her tail. She locked the door behind her and turned towards Santana who held her arm out for her. She smiled walking towards her putting her hands on the Latina's arm walking towards the car Santana had parked at the end of the driveway. This was something she had only ever seen in movies and it was lovely to be the one who got spoilt. She smiled when they got to the car and Santana held it open for her.

"Ladies first."

Brittany chuckled looking at her in amusement. " _You are a woman too, Santana._ "

"Shhh." Santana said waving her arm dismissing her comment. "Details don't matter."

Brittany smiled getting into the car whilst Santana closes her door behind her once she's inside. She puts her bag on her lap putting her seatbelt on and putting her keys in her bag before she forgot. She didn't want to lose them. Santana got into the car putting her own seatbelt on starting the car. She glanced at the blonde beside her.

"Ready to go on this awesome date?" She asked with a grin.

Brittany smiled nodding her head. " _I am. I can't wait to find out what you have planned!_ "

"Well it's a surprise, but I will say this..." Santana responded before lingering off and looking at the road heading to where she was planning on going. She could tell the blonde was frustrated but she couldn't help but giggle.

" _Don't do that!_ "

"What?" She asked looking all innocent looking back at the road. "I was going to say you look beautiful. I am not giving any part of the date away."

Brittany pouts sitting forward in her seat. She was actually glad Santana was keeping it from her since she wanted to be surprised but that didn't stop her being curious and wanting to know what she had planned. They had arrived in the center of town which was odd since Brittany tend to stay away from the center due to the amount of people that she could bump into which freaked her out. She saw everyone walking around in a rush which made the panic deep inside her come out. She clenched her fists together and kept her eyes forward when she felt a warm hand move up from her wrist to her hand putting her hand on top of her clenched fist. Brittany smiled at the gesture allowing her hand to unclench turning her palm up watching Santana move her fingers between her own. She was amazed how she was able to do this with Santana but she just felt a huge sense of safety around the Latina. She knew she didn't need to be afraid and it made her fight the fear. Plus, she had been talking to her therapist about different ways to not be afraid when someone did touch her. She knew they were working.

Brittany looked up and noticed Santana giving her a smile before turning her eyes back to the road but she never released her hand from her own. Brittany liked how Santana's touch was calming and how she didn't need to be embarrassed for feeling nervous around her since Santana knew exactly what she could handle and what she couldn't. Santana and the therapist were still working with her and they were both letting her go at her own pace but sometimes she needed that reassurance. She was brought out of her thoughts when Santana squeezed her hand lightly which made her look up.

"You don't need to be nervous. I'll be here the entire time. I promise."

Brittany nodded her head and gave her a small smile. " _Thank you. _"__

Santana drove up to the car park since she had planned to walk to the date with her. Santana planned for the both of them to go ice skating which was something very different actually since she couldn't actually ice skate herself. She just thought it would be fun and be a laugh instead of just sitting in a restaurant eating. Santana turned the engine off and the both of them got out of the car. Brittany got out of the car walking towards the front of it where Santana was standing looking around noticing the busyness of the town. It definitely made her nervous. Santana noticed the nerves come back and took a step towards her slowly moving her hand towards her chin looking at Brittany for permission which she nodded. She tensed a little when she touched her but relaxed after a few seconds. Santana tilted her head up so they were looking at one another.

"I know this is scary for you, I do, but I want you to slowly get used to being comfortable coming into town, without the fear of someone bumping into you because you're too tense. I see the way you look when you walk down the street and I want to help, but it has to go both ways, Britt."

Santana spoke softly looking at her stroking her chin with her thumb softly. They had been slowly getting into touching one another after Brittany touched her at the party so Brittany was used to her touch but sometimes she still got scared but she understood that. They were looking at one another and it took everything not to pull Brittany into a hug there and then. She noticed Brittany nod her head slowly then a bit faster for confirmation

" _Okay...okay I'll meet you half way._ "

Santana smiled pulling her fingers away from her chin and moving her hand to cup her cheek stroking it with a smile on her face. Brittany was hesitant but she moved her hand up to grip Santana's arm smiling at the Latina in front of her. How did she get her like this? She hadn't even started the date and she was already so happy and she wouldn't even care if they just stood there all night. Santana had a calming effect on her. It was nice.

"Thank you Britt. How about we get going? I don't want to be stood in the cold for too long."

Brittany nodded her head and they both pulled away from one another. They walked side by side towards the center of town when Brittany felt Santana's hand slide down her arm to her own hand moving her fingers between her own holding her hand. Brittany couldn't help but smile at the gesture. The pair of them walked down the street towards the ice skating rink. Brittany occasionally moved her body closer to Santana's when someone got too close, but overall she was doing well Santana knew it was hard and scary but she was glad she could be part of the support system Brittany clearly needed.

The ice skating rink came into view when she felt Brittany's excitement next to her with her starting to jump up and down excitedly and putting a spring in her step. She must have done a good job them since she was acting like that. Brittany grinned looking at Santana. She hadn't been ice skating in years and now she finally got to have that chance? She couldn't wait. The both of them walked into the ice skating rink and up to the reception to pay.

"Hello I'd like to pay for two. How much will that be?"

"Twenty dollars, ma'am." The cashier responded with a bored tone in his voice taking the money from Santana. "Size?"

"Excuse me?"

"Skate size. What sizes do you want?" He asked looking at the both of them.

Santana looked towards Brittany who was already conveniently looking at her. "You're about a size 8, right?"

Brittany smiled nodding her head in confirmation. Santana looked back at the cashier just wanting to get away from him as quick as possible. The rudeness of some people who work in some places was appalling. "Size 6.5 and size 8, please."

He nodded his head and got their skates taking theirs away from them. The pair of them walked over to the benches putting their skates on. Santana tied hers up before standing up on them looking at her date. Brittany gave her a smile taking hold of her hand standing up in front of her then walked with Santana towards the rink. They stopped in front of it where Brittany got onto the ice gliding forward with a smile turning around looking at Santana She giggled when she saw how nervous she looked. She skated towards her holding her hand out. Santana looked at her.

"I'll be right here; I promise I won't let you fall."

Santana took a deep breath before nodding and taking Brittany's hand gliding onto the ice slipping slightly but Brittany took hold of her pulling her towards her helping her maintain her balance. They looked at one another and for a change it was Santana who looked nervous. Brittany led the both of them towards the edge of the rink so Santana had something to hold onto to prevent her from falling on her ass. Once Santana was holding on and moving around the edge slowly Brittany skated beside her, poking her arm to get her attention. Santana looked at her.

" _Why take me skating if you can't skate yourself?_ " Brittany asked amused with a smirk on her face. " _Surely the thing you should be doing is taking me somewhere where you can show off your skills. Many people do that, you know._ "

Santana chuckled nervously, paying attention to how her feet were moving and her grip on the edge so she wouldn't fall as well as looking at Brittany. "Well I guess I'm not like everyone else. I would clearly prefer to make a fool out of myself in front of you instead."

" _Clearly that was your plan._ " Brittany said winking at her moving ahead turning around so she was skating backwards. Santana stared at her in shock. How the hell could she do that and not fall over? Brittany looked at her raising her eyebrow " _Yes?_ "

"How can you do that without falling on your ass? I mean, ice is slippery!"

Brittany looked at her pretending to be shocked putting a hand to her chest. " _Really? Ice is slippery? Lord thank you, I didn't know that! Learn something new every day you do._ "

Santana scowled at her."There is no need for sarcasm."

" _You're right, I'm sorry. I couldn't help teasing you but here. Take my hand and I'll help you._ " Brittany said with a sincere smile holding her hand out.

"I am not going anywhere with you. You'll do something like parents do. Say you'll hold me then let go or something." Santana grumbled holding onto the edge "I am fine here."

Brittany shrugged. " _Suit yourself. I'll be skating around. Have fun._ "

Brittany was about to skate off when a hand stopped her which made her smile. She entwined her fingers with Santana's turning sound pulling her slowly away from the ledge. She saw the fear in her eyes, but she was going to change that. Brittany didn't struggle because when she was struggling with her grief with Zack, her parents took her ice skating and she learnt pretty quickly since, to her, it was just dancing but on ice. She glided backwards pulling the Latina with her so she was moving forwards. The crowd still made Brittany nervous but with her focusing on Santana she was able to put them all to the back of her mind. She smiled seeing how Santana was looking at her feet. She stopped them in the middle of the ice rink putting Santana's hands to her shoulders.

" _You need to move your feet, San. Its pushing your feet to the side as your move so one foot moves out to the left then the other moves out to the right afterwards as you see everyone else doing._ " Brittany explained with a smile. " _Got it?_ "

"I think so. I'll give it a shot."

Brittany nodded her head and held onto the girl as she started to move her feet which was making her move forwards. Brittany smiled taking hold of her hands instead of her arms moving backwards a bit allowing Santana room to move forwards by herself without the assistance of her movements. She watched the movements of her before letting her go and allowing her to move freely by herself. She smiled when she did before she started to stumble but Brittany caught her before she could fall. She looked at her with a smile.

" _You did it._ "

Santana smiled and nodded looking into her eyes. "I did it. Thank you for helping me, even though you did let go when you said you wouldn't."

" _Without letting go you wouldn't have done it alone._ "

Brittany and Santana looked at one another standing in the middle of the ice rink before they looked away and decided to start skating again. Santana had paid for it after all so might as well get their money's worth so they went back to skating again with Brittany assisting Santana.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Walking through Lima at night was actually pretty nice. It was calm, quiet and just generally beautiful. It took her nerves away since not many people were out walking since it was dark so she got to hold Santana's hand whilst walking without the worry of someone nudging her. Even when it was busy though, Santana had helped her and she couldn't appreciate the girl more than that. They were currently walking through the park talking about each other's lives since dates were usually a way of getting to know one another.

"What do you see yourself doing after graduation? Still want to be a dancer?" Santana asked looking at Brittany putting her hands in her pockets so Brittany was able to sigh to her properly.

" _Actually I've changed my mind about that I think._ "

Santana looked up. "Yeah? What do you wanna be now?"

Brittany shrugged looking up at the sky then looking down again before smiling and turning to her date deciding to dismiss the question. " _Enough about me, I wanna know about you. You know loads about me but you, being the queen of secrecy, hasn't been fair, so your turn. Tell me something about yourself that I don't know._ "

Santana couldn't help but let a grin form on her face. "What do you wanna know?"

" _Hmm..._ " Brittany pondered tapping her chin with her finger before looking at Santana smiling. " _Tell me something you've never told anyone._ "

Santana continued to walk with Brittany whilst thinking of an answer to Brittany's request. What was one thing she had never told anyone before? Well she wasn't exactly the most open person in the world so she should be able to think of something. The both of them stopped in front of the duck pond sitting on the bench. Santana reached into her bag and got some bread out of it handing it to Brittany. She loved the way her eyes lit up when she was excited about something. Santana smiled watching as she began feeding the ducks.

"I've never been in love."

Brittany turned her head to look at her. " _What?_ "

"Something I've never told anyone? I've never been in love. Ever."

Looking at her surprised the blonde nodded her head and continued feeding the ducks. She held the bread out for her to take a piece which Santana did. The both of them fed the ducks in silence before Brittany decided to break it, well, by using sign language anyway.

" _My brother was murdered when I was six years old._ "

Santana looked at the blonde in shock. Her brother was murdered? Who would even consider killing a boy that young? No wonder Brittany has grieved for so long. She would too if her brother had gotten murdered at a young age. Santana watched the blonde for her next move but it didn't seem to happen, so what exactly could she do now? She wanted to comfort her so she put her hand on her leg giving it a slight squeeze which Brittany did seem to appreciate since she gave her a small smile and nodded her head

" _I don't need you pitying me, okay? I have grown up to realize what happened and I am only starting to recover, so I need you to be strong for me sometimes. Only you, Rachel and my parents know what happened so you can't tell anyone. I know you won't but...just don't._ "

"Course not, Britt. Your secret is safe with me, I promise."

Brittany smiled and nodded her head. " _I know. If we are going to be girlfriends soon then I just wanted you to know. I don't want to go into details at the moment, so it was just to tell you._ " Brittany explained turning to face Santana. " _You have to let me open up in my own time and not ask about it. If I want to talk about it, I will._ "

Santana nodded in understanding and they left the subject like that. Santana understood why Brittany didn't like talking about it and she respected that. She was surprised she even told her in the first place but she was glad she did so she knew the reasons behind what happened to her. She looked to the side to see Brittany looking at her. She couldn't help but smile back watching her feed the ducks deciding to lean her head on Brittany's shoulder sighing happily. Brittany smiled looking at the brunette with adoration. She nudged the brunette which caused her to look down at Brittany's hands knowing she wanted to say something.

" _Thank you for tonight. You really are amazing._ "

Santana chuckled. "It's not over yet Brittany. I want to show you somewhere after we've finished off here but I like it here too. It's calming and you look so relaxed and happy. I like it."

" _I like you_." Brittany responded before blushing noticing how cheesy that sounded. " _I apologise for that._ "

Santana looked up at Brittany shaking her head smiling. "Don't apologise. It was sweet. How about I show you the place I was talking about?"

" _Sure, but first I just want to point out that this is where we wished we would get to. Be able to hold hands and that I would be able to touch you. I know it took a bit of work this week to get here, and before that, but I don't care._ " Brittany explained with a warm smile taking Santana's hand in hers tracing her fingers over her palm before pulling her hand back. " _I never thought I would ever get here Santana, but you helped me so much and I am incredibly grateful to you. So, thank you for everything and being here for me when I needed you._ "

Santana let herself smile before taking Brittany's hand and lacing their fingers together before pulling her up so they were stood in front of one another. "You know you don't need to thank me. I'm always going to be here to help you, be it either as a girlfriend or friend. I'm always here."

Brittany nods her head and the two of them stand there just looking at one another before they decided to set off again walking through the park. Santana had somewhere she wanted to show the blonde which was definitely something that amazed her when she discovered it. Plus, it was better to see at night too so she decided to head there before it got too dark.

Brittany stepped on top of the hill that Santana had made her walk up. She had not been impressed to say the least but she was lucky that she enjoyed walking, just only when she was expecting it. Santana wasn't far behind her and took Brittany's hand leading her towards the edge of the cliff which did worry Brittany a bit, but when she saw the view, she gasped. The view of Lima from where they were standing was just...it was beautiful. Santana had really outdone herself by finding this place, even though she probably knew about it before the date. She could see all houses and shops that were in the town along with the ice skating rink. It all just looked amazing and it was definitely not what she imagined Santana showing her.

Santana watched the reaction on Brittany's face which showed that she had done a good job. She loved walking up to this spot and just thinking without anyone else around, especially when she was dealing with things such as school. She took her place next to Brittany and sat down on the grass leaning against the tree leaning back on her arms looking at the view. She didn't think she would be able to find a place more beautiful, and she was being honest about that too. She saw the shadow of Brittany move which made her look up to see that she was sitting down too but she moved to sit in front of Santana leaning back against her.

The blonde knew she was getting more comfortable with Santana as time went on and even though it seemed like she was getting used to things quite fast, she could break at any moment which is what worried her. She had Rachel, Santana and the therapist but what if they couldn't do anything? What if she became scared again? She felt Santana brush her hair out of her face which made her eyes flutter closed. Her touch was like heaven.

"What you thinking about?" Santana asked curiously.

Brittany shook her head in response. " _Nothing important; just about how beautiful this view is._ "

"It is pretty beautiful, isn't it? I just wandered down here one day and found it and I was blown away."

" _Yeah? Why were you wandering this far away from your house?_ " Brittany asked looking up at her.

Santana remembered it pretty clearly. She had been mad with school, her parents and just everything seemed to go wrong. She even got into an argument with Rachel that day and needed time to calm down. She had been trying to figure out who she was at the time and this was the only place that helped her do that. She didn't have anyone looking over her and judging her. She could just look over the city and let her thoughts fade. It was why she never told anyone about it in case she needed space but she trusted Brittany and wanted to share her spot with her. She had deserved the privilege of finding out, especially after she told her about her brother. It meant she could use it for herself too.

"I was finding myself at the time," Santana began running her fingers through Brittany's hair, "and I needed to get away from everything and I found this place. I always come here when I'm upset or need to be alone but I just wanted to share this with you in case you need to find me and I'm not talking to anyone or if you need to use it for space. Either way I'm sharing something special to me with you."

Brittany was surprised by her confession and by how she had shared something important to her with herself. She looked up at Santana and noticed the warm smile that was on her face and couldn't help but smile back. She slowly reached up and caressed her cheek before turning in her arms to put her legs on the other side of Santana's laying her head on Santana's chest. The Latina smiled at the gesture wrapping her arms around the blonde looking over the city as she did. The date had been perfect and she would remember it for a long time and to be able to hold Brittany was amazing. She had been hesitant at first since she wasn't sure if she would be able to hold her hand or anything but Brittany had begun to feel comfortable with her and as long as she kept feeling that way, they would be okay.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Santana parked in front of Brittany's driveway later on that night. After sitting and cuddling at the top of the hill they both decided that it was getting dark and that they needed to be getting back. She turned off the engine taking her seatbelt off and looking at Brittany. She was looking out the window and seemed upset that it was the end of the night but so was she. If she could she would stay alongside Brittany's side forever but unfortunately, at this moment, it wasn't possible. She reached over squeezing her leg in understanding which got Brittany's attention since she sat up and looked towards her. She looked at Santana for a few minutes before finally giving her a smile which made Santana smile back.

" _Thank you for tonight. It's been amazing._ " Brittany said unbuckling her seatbelt. " _You sure know how to impress a girl._ "

Santana chuckled. "Well, what can I say? I want you to remember this night for a long time."

" _I will because it has been with you._ "

The pair of them got out of the car, with Santana holding Brittany's door open of course, and walked up to the house hand in hand. Brittany was resistant in going and Santana didn't want to leave but this was how dates were. Santana knew she had family troubles as it were and she knew that staying with their daughter would be a terrible idea, even though they seemed to decide when to care about her which really pissed her off. They were in though because their car was in the driveway, so she should get going.

"Thank you for coming out with me, Brittany. I had an amazing time too and I shall see you soon." Santana said standing in front of the blonde moving her hands up to cup her neck stroking it slightly emitting a sigh of pleasure from her.

" _You're wonderful and I don't want you to go but you should because mom and dad are in._ " Brittany sighed moving her hands up and down Santana's forearms. She watched the Latina in front of her before pulling away walking back to her door. " _I'll see you on Monday, right?_ "

The brunette nodded her head and smiled. "You will indeed if not tomorrow or Sunday. I'll text you though."

Biting her lip slightly and nodding her head she agreed giving Santana a wave. She watched as the brunette walked towards the steps when she remembered something. Kissing. At the end of a date there was a kiss which was what Santana must have been thinking about. Before Santana could step down them Brittany walked towards her pulling her against her body. Santana gasped in surprise and, to be honest, she was even surprised by her behavior. She looked down at Santana's lips and how soft they looked. She moved her hand up to her face moving her thumb over the plump lips which made Santana let out a breath. She noticed Santana was looking at her as though pleading.

"Please Britt. Kiss me." She whispered and that was all the motivation she needed.

Brittany leaned forward slowly and tilted her head a little and let her eyes flutter closed when their lips met. She had never felt anything like this before, which is true since it's technically her first kiss. Even though she'd dreamt of this moment, nothing was better than the real thing. Santana's hands were gripping her waist and hers were on her neck stroking the skin there as their lips brushed together before they started to move in sync, as though they knew exactly what they were doing before either of them did. Santana's hand had moved from her waist up to the back of her neck running her fingers through her blonde locks.

Brittany smiled into the kiss allowing herself to enjoy the moment. Her lips felt amazing against her own. So soft and their lips just melded together as though they were supposed to. As though her lips were meant to kiss Santana's and yes that did sound weird but she knew what she meant. With them kissing slow and enjoying the moment they were in Brittany pulled away when she heard a thump at her door. She rolled her eyes knowing that her parents were probably watching. Way to ruin a moment. Brittany sighed in frustration but still smiled down at Santana moving her hand up to her cheek stroking it. She had just had the perfect kiss, with the perfect girl. She had been waiting for this for so long and she was so happy she was starting to get better. She deserved to be happy as much as everyone else did and now her life seemed to be heading in that direction. The pair of them heard another thump at the door which caused them both to sigh in disappointment.

"I should get going." Santana whispered moving her hands to grasp Brittany's jacket biting her lip smiling before leaning up capturing her lips again but she pulled away before Brittany had the chance to enjoy it.

" _Not fair._ " Brittany said pulling her hands away from her date to respond. " _I'll miss you._ "

Santana smiled letting her hands drop to her sides. "I'll miss you too. I'll text you."

Brittany nodded and pulled Santana into an embrace hugging her sighing happily, which shocked her too in case any of you are, then pulled away.

" _Okay you can go now. Text me._ "

Santana nodded walking back to her car. "I will do. Bye Britt."

" _Bye Santana."_

Watching the brunette leave in her car and drive down the street wasn't very nice but the date had to end at some point and even though she had nothing to compare it to, it had been the best date in her life and now all she had to do was wait for the next time they could do this again. With that in mind she smiled and walked inside closing the door behind her sighing happily. Santana Lopez is just perfect.


	21. Chapter 21

It had been a week since the date and things couldn't have been going more smoothly. Brittany and Santana kept up the talking, texting and hanging out with one another but made sure to make sure each other were comfortable, mostly Brittany, and that neither of them were having second thoughts. Neither Santana nor Brittany felt their feelings dissolve for one another, which told the pair that they still had strong feelings for each other. Brittany had never felt so happy with someone before and even though this was her first crush that actually went somewhere, she didn't let that bother her. Everything was new for her, but she was enjoying the journey that they were on. Other people at school noticed that they were becoming closer, but the one person who had noticed the most was Rachel.

She had been looking at the both of them and how close they had become and even though she cared for her best friend, she didn't like the fact that she was being ignored. Brittany had put her focus into Santana the past week and hardly spoken to her which was hardly fair when they were friends first. Yes that may sound pathetic, but it's the truth. Brittany wouldn't have even found the courage without her. Well maybe she would have but still. She still didn't like the whole friendship/relationship they have going on.

"I just don't think Santana is good for her! I mean Brittany can't even talk and she didn't touch people either but then Santana walks into her life then suddenly she can touch her? What is with that?! I was her friend way before Santana and now she's taking my place and I will not have that! Santana is not replacing me!" Rachel ranted pacing the floor of her living room before stopping to look at her girlfriend. "Are you even listening, Quinn?"

Quinn looked up and sighed. "Honey, of course I am listening, but I just think you are being a little irrational. As her best friend don't you think you should be happy for Brittany? I mean she's finally able to touch somebody and can have that physical contact that she's been missing, but scared to have."

"Oh so you are taking their side are you?!" Rachel snapped glaring at her girlfriend. "You are supposed to be on my side!"

"I am on your side and I always will be." Quinn assured standing up walking over to Rachel stopping in front of her, putting her hands on her cheeks. "Sweetie, you need to let this go. I mean for one they are going to be here in five minutes and two, I just think that you may be a little jealous of them. You should talk to Brittany."

"Jealous? Why would I need to be jealous of them? I am completely happy for Brittany to have other friends."

"I know you are but I know you don't like the fact that they hang out together, alone. It's what you and Brittany used to do and now you feel like she's doing that more with Santana than you." Quinn explained pulling away to pick up some magazines from the floor. "Rach, I know you and I also know you value yours and Brittany's friendship. There is no need to be jealous, especially when you aren't even together."

Rachel sighed nodding her head. "I know I'm being unfair babe. I just miss her, you know? Santana is a big part of her life now too and I guess I miss her coming to me. Now, it's more likely she'll go to Santana."

"Don't you think she felt the exact same way when we got together?" Quinn asked with a smile. "I'm sure she felt as though you would need me more than her, but she got over that. You should too."

Quinn did have a point in what she said and she knew she wasn't being fair to both Santana and Brittany but she couldn't help it. She didn't enjoy feeling excluded and now here she was feeling just like that. Due to being a football player, the only female one at that, she had everyone's attention a lot of the time so she was used to being noticed, but one thing she always liked was how Brittany saw past her being like that and she could go back to just being the way she was before football. It was why she enjoyed their time together so much; she could be just Rachel and that was enough for Brittany.

"You don't get it, Quinn."

"Then help me understand Rachel." Quinn says and was about to continue when the doorbell rang. "Do you want me to get it since you're upset?"

Rachel grumbled to herself nodding her head walking to the kitchen. Quinn sighed and went to the door opening it to see Brittany and Santana standing there holding hands. She couldn't help but smile at how cute they looked together and how Brittany looked completely comfortable touching another person. She would have to talk to Rachel at some point to help her accept the both of them.

"Hey guys, come on in."

Santana and Brittany walked in at the request. Brittany looked around and frowned taking her hand away from Santana before turning to Quinn making sure her signing was a bit slower than usual.

" _Where's Rachel?_ "

"She's...having some time to herself right now." Quinn said not enjoying the fact that she had to lie to her. "She's a little upset."

"I am not upset, Quinn Fabray!" Rachel shouted from the kitchen. Quinn rolled her eyes at the response. Of course she would choose to act immature now.

"If you aren't upset then come out here! Brittany and Santana have arrived."

"I will not thank you very much. I am happy where I am."

Quinn sighed in frustration giving up on her girlfriend and deciding to focus on the guests she had currently. Well technically the guests Rachel had, but since she was being rude she would be the one talking to them.

"How about we sit down?" Quinn asked motioning to the couch which they both agreed to. Quinn sat down in the armchair whilst Brittany and Santana sat on the couch. "Rachel will join us eventually when she's finished doing...whatever she is doing."

" _Is she okay?_ " Brittany asked concerned. " _Should I go talk to her?_ "

Quinn shook her head. "Brittany, don't take this the wrong way, and I don't mean to offend you, but I think you are actually the last person she wants to see right now."

Brittany looked from Quinn to the floor nodding her head. Santana glared at Quinn moving her hand over Brittany's back in comfort.

"Wow, way to be nice Fabray. How could she not be offended by that?" Santana snapped before focusing on the blonde girl beside her. "Hey, it's okay Britt. She'll come out and see us soon."

Brittany raised her head looking at Quinn which definitely made her feel awful about what she had just said. She had a look on her face that looked like someone just told her that her dog or cat had died. Now she definitely felt guilty.

" _Did I do something wrong?_ " Brittany asked moving her hands slowly showing Quinn how sad she was. " _Because Rachel hasn't said anything, but if I have, can you tell her I'm sorry? I don't want her to feel that she has to hide when I'm around._ "

Quinn shook her head and sighed. "We spoke before you got here and she was just upset that's all. I can't tell you what about though because she is my girlfriend and I think its best she talks to you herself."

Brittany nodded in understanding before turning to Santana. " _Maybe we should go. I don't want Rachel to feel that she has to hide in her own house._ "

"If you want to go Britt then we can go. We can go to the Aquarium you've been talking about all week." Santana says trying to make her smile, but all it did was get a forced smile out of her and a nod before she stood up. Santana followed her actions turning to Quinn whispering in her ear as Brittany made her way to the door. "Fix this somehow. I know it's not your fault but I do not want to go around with a Brittany who looks like Lord Tubbington has been in an accident."

"Excuse me, what?" Quinn asks out of confusion but Santana just ignores her walking to Brittany opening the door letting her out.

" _What did you say about Lord Tubbington?_ " Brittany questioned looking at the Latina whilst they walk out of the house. " _Is he okay? He's not mad at me too is he? Because I don't think I can handle two of my best friends being mad at me._ "

"What? Oh honey no of course not. We'll even facetime him at the aquarium if you like so we know."

Brittany frowned. " _He can't facetime San. I took his phone off of him, remember?_ "

Santana smiled and put her hand on Brittany's back nodding taking one last look at Quinn before walking out completely. "Of course you did, Britt. I apologise." Quinn sighed closing the door behind them leaning against it. She saw Rachel come out looking guilty after hearing the conversation. Quinn just shook her head and walked past Rachel towards the stairs.

"Quinn, wait!"

The blonde turned around and glared at her. "You fix this because you have just made me realise I do not want to see an upset Brittany on the day her cat dies. Because I know it will be ten times worse than what I just saw!"

Allowing Rachel to ponder that, Quinn walked up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door not letting Rachel get a word in edge ways. Sighing she lies on the bed burying her face in the pillow. She would seriously have to find a way to make it up to Brittany after today.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany and Santana were sat in Brittany's room on her bed cuddling. Brittany had been cuddled up to her ever since they got back to hers after the Aquarium. They had gone there for a while but after Santana noticed how upset she was, she decided that it was best for the both of them to just come back. They had been lying in the bed ever since.

"How're you feeling?" Santana asked stroking Brittany's hair looking down at her. "You've been very quiet."

Brittany shrugged her shoulders. " _I'm okay._ "

"You sure?"

" _Yeah I'm good, San._ " Brittany responded with a shrug of her shoulders. " _Just feeling sad._ "

Santana sighed stroking over the blonde's back. She knew this was hard for her, but it didn't make it any easier. Brittany was quite a happy person most of the time, but when her friends weren't around, which she had just found out, she just seem to turn...horribly sad. She was quieter than usual and it made Santana upset just watching how down she looked, and it was not nice to look at.

"Do you want me to call Rachel? Maybe I could get you two talking again."

Brittany shook her head sighing. " _You can't make two people talk, it just doesn't work. That's like trying to force a cat and a mouse to talk. It'll end up with someone getting eaten...well not in that sense with people, but you get what I mean._ "

Santana was about to say something when her phone went off beside her on the bedside table. She reached over picking up her phone looking at it to see a message from Quinn. Thank the lord! Santana had been thinking about doing the same thing. Maybe between them they could sort this mess out. She opened the message.

**From Q: How's Brittany doing? Rachel is just acting like she was earlier only she's not speaking to me either now. Xx**

Santana scoffed. Of course Rachel would make this all about her wouldn't she?

**To Q: Of course Rachel would act upset when it's her that has upset Brittany! You think Rachel is quiet? Brittany has hardly spoken, well not in the literal sense, since we to back and her face is just so...sad. It's making me sad just looking at her. I have run out of ideas in conversation! Xx**

Running her fingers through Brittany's hair was all Santana could think about doing at the current moment. It kept Brittany calm, which was strange since before she could hardly touch the girl. She knew the girl trusted her though which was nice. Maybe that was why Rachel was acting so strange. She noticed her phone light up so she picked her phone up once again.

**From Q: I know Santana believe me. I yelled at her after you left and we hardly ever argue. She's seeing things from the wrong perspective. I just need to convince her to see things from the right one. Give me time and I'll get Rachel to talk to Brittany xx**

Quinn obviously knew what was wrong with Rachel but pushing her wasn't going to help things. Santana knew all about not pushing people since she met Brittany and it actually helped her friendships. She didn't push for information unless she knew the person wanted to tell whatever was bothering them. She had definitely seen a change in herself since she met the blonde and she was glad. She liked it.

**To Q: Okay but don't wait too long. I don't want Brittany going round all depressed. She's been doing so well lately. Let me know how things go xx**

She put her phone down and started to hear steady breathing. She looked down and noticed Brittany was curled up against her, arm over her stomach, sleeping with her head on her shoulder. She looked so peaceful and knew she didn't have the heart to wake the girl so she left her to sleep.

What Santana didn't understand is how someone can go from being friends one minute then the next minute they are completely ignoring you? Seriously, the brunette must have some awful hormonal changes going on in her body or something. Who changes their mind just like that about whether to talk to someone or not? It's a lot harder for Brittany too since she didn't exactly stay close to a lot of people. She seemed to be doing better at McKinley but she knew she struggled at her old one. She wanted to know what happened, but she didn't want to push Brittany. She said she wouldn't and she meant it. If she wanted to talk then she would. Until then she would just be here for her.

Looking down at the blonde she had never seen someone look so beautiful whilst they slept. She just looks so peaceful not having to think about what happened earlier that day. She looked around the blonde's bedroom noticing her cat perched on the end of the bed just sat there. By just looking at the cat Santana could tell that he certainly needed to go on a diet. It always amused her all the stories Brittany told her about the cat but she knew Brittany thought they were true, so she wasn't going to argue. But the way Brittany spoke about the cat it was as though Brittany was his mother instead of owner, such as how she grounded him taking his phone away. Can cats even use phones? There's also how Lord Tubbington has an apparent drug addiction and when he is missing he's too busy seeing the cat across the street. Another male cat funnily enough meaning the cat was gay. She was all for stories and she found them interesting, but how Brittany knows all this was beyond her. But then again, he was Brittany's other best friend so she wasn't going to judge.

Santana reached over to pick up her glass of water to notice it was empty so as smoothly as she could possibly do it, she moved Brittany onto her bed watching her wrap her arms around her pillow hugging it in her sleep. She got up slowly, picked up her glass making her way over to the door. She turned back to check that Brittany was still sleeping when she saw Lord Tubbington had moved into her spot curled up beside her. It was obviously a frequent position he was in since Brittany didn't even wake up when he brushed his fur against her. Santana glared at the cat not liking the fact she had her space taken by a cat before walking out leaving the door ajar making her way downstairs.

Walking into the kitchen she was surprised to see Mrs Pierce sat at the table. She walked to the sink to get a glass of water filling it up and was about to walk away again when she heard her voice behind her.

"Santana?"

The Latina turned around curiously. "Yeah?

Mrs Pierce stared at her daughter's friend curiously. "How is she? I mean, I know our relationship with Brittany is unhinged right now but I do still care about her. Even though many of you don't think we do."

Santana was about to walk away but decided to walk towards the woman and sit down across from her. She looked broken if she was going to be honest. She guessed that it wasn't just Brittany that had been struggling but her parents too. Who would find having a daughter who couldn't talk, easy? Of course it wasn't, but Santana knew that they could have tried harder too.

"She's good, Mrs Pierce. She's sleeping upstairs at the moment. She had a falling out with Rachel and it upset her." Santana explained taking a sip of her water. "But I'm sure she'll feel better once she's woken up."

"Susan."

"Excuse me?" Santana asked confused.

"I'd prefer it if you called me Susan. Mrs Pierce makes me feel old if I'm being honest." Susan stated chuckling quietly looking down at her cup of coffee holding it. "I know many of your friends don't like me or Brittany's father, but what you all need to understand is that Brittany didn't just lose her twin brother that night; we lost a son and it was very hard. Brittany refused to celebrate their birthday after that, so all we were able to do is give her a gift every year. We aren't bad parents. We could have tried harder, yes, but we struggled too."

Santana nodded her head in understanding. It was always right to listen to every aspect of the story, no matter whether it hurt or not. She had learnt that growing up and since the only version of the story everyone had heard was Brittany's, everyone believed it not having any other part to compare it too. Sighing she stood up nodding her head.

"Susan, I know it wasn't your fault. None of this was your fault since it seems, to me, Brittany just retracted after her brother died. She lost her best friend, her brother, her everything and it was difficult for her. She wanted him back which, of course, wasn't possible. I think she just wishes you tried harder, but I know Brittany doesn't believe it's your fault that none of you have a good relationship. She just didn't want to let anyone in."

"But what about now?" Susan asks curiously. "Is she getting better? I have noticed she's been a lot happier lately with you around, so I just wanted to say, thank you."

Santana smiled nodding her head. "Brittany is doing a lot better. I can't say how better because she wants to tell you when she's ready but you should be proud of her. I know Brittany didn't tell you this, but she's got a motocross race next week. She told me a few days ago and wants me to go. You and Mr Pierce should come along and see her."

Susan looked up and smiled nodding her head. "We'd really like that. My husband, Pierce, would love to see her racing again."

"Wait. Your husband is called Pierce Pierce?" Santana asked in surprise. "As in...his forename and surname are exactly the same?"

"Oh believe me, on our first date I was completely surprised. I only got his first name when I first met him but when he said his full name I was shocked too. But apparently each family within the Pierce family name has someone with an odd name. He has a cousin called Jackson Jackson and I think one of his nieces is called Snow, as in what you call the stuff that falls from the sky."

Santana raises her eyebrow in surprise. She really feels for these people who had their parents give them an odd name, especially these people who have the name first name and last name. She shakes her head lifting her head giving her a smile.

"I'll write down the details to give you before I leave." Santana tells the woman walking to the doorway before turning back looking at her with another smile on her face. "You're a great mother, Susan. As long as you actually care and you are trying, Brittany will start to trust you."

The blonde woman nods her head. "Thank you Santana. And thank you for looking out for my little girl."

"Anytime."

Santana walks up the stairs to see Brittany still sleeping and, thankfully, her spot was clear. She walked back putting her glass of water on the side lying down on the bed again pulling Brittany back onto her which the blonde seemed to get into straight away since she wrapped her arm tight around Santana cuddling up to her.

She was glad she got the chance to talk to Brittany's mother. She just showed her how she did actually care and that she wasn't just making things up. She genuinely did care about her daughter and that was all Brittany wanted. She just wanted her parents love and for them to try and communicate with her. Santana sighed happily leaning down kissing Brittany's head softly leaning her head back on the pillow looking at the ceiling.

Ever since the date the blonde was all she thought about. She didn't know what this made them or anything like that. She remembered the date, how much fun they had and especially the way Brittany kissed her at the end of the night, which definitely surprised her like it would anybody. She wanted more but maybe Brittany wasn't ready and there was the fact that they had only gone on one date. It probably wasn't even the right time to start dating but if there was one thing she was certain of, it was how much she wanted to be Brittany's girlfriend. She wanted to walk through the hallway holding her hand so everyone knew they were together, to kiss her before class and after class, to spend their lunch times together and stuff like that. She wanted it all. She just didn't know where to go from here. Where do you usually go after one date? Just continue the way you are or go further?

Santana had never really had a girlfriend before. Yeah she'd had boyfriends when she was pretending to be straight, but that was basically just sex with dating on the side, Brittany was different. She wanted to go slow and show her how much she cared about her. She wanted to hold hands, kiss, and cuddle in bed or on the sofa watching TV whilst their parents and friends were around, but she knew Brittany had issues to work out. She didn't want to interfere with her getting better. But she wasn't going to complain. She would support her throughout no matter what.

Santana closed her eyes sighing happily feeling Brittany move her leg over both of hers locking her in place. Smiling, she felt herself starting to nod off since she knew going anywhere wasn't an option. Might as well get some rest whilst she's at it, right?

Xxxxxxxxxx

After spending the weekend together Brittany and Santana were happy, well, until it got to having to return to school on Monday morning and to be honest, things weren't much better for Brittany. She usually was pretty good at studying but with what was going on with Rachel it put her mood down which meant she couldn't focus in her school work which then went on to her not even attempting her homework which was due that morning. Brittany was just glad she had Santana to cheer her up when she felt down. On Saturday morning she had woken up to the Latina holding her whilst she slept. She looked absolutely adorable sleeping so she decided to wake up and try to make her breakfast, but it went terribly wrong, so they went to a cafe and had breakfast. It was nice and the food wasn't bad either.

Brittany and Santana were at their lockers whilst Brittany was putting her books slowly into her bag. She didn't particularly want to see Sadie but her weekend hadn't been great but still. That was no excuse for her not doing he homework. Sighing she closed her locker.

"Britt, don't worry. Just explain what happened."

" _What? Tell her I fell out with a friend and that's why my homework isn't done? She'll think I'm stupid._ " Brittany stated with a sigh putting her bag on her shoulder.

Santana gave her a small smile leaning in kissing her cheek. "You'll be okay and if not just text me. I've got Spanish now."

" _I don't see why you even take Spanish when you know the language_ Brittany says, grinning at feeling her skin tingle at the spot where Santana's lips were just moments ago. " _It just doesn't make any sense. You must get bored._ "

Santana gives Brittany a wink. "Easy A, Britt. Okay, good luck with your support and I'll see you later. And by the way we have to..." Santana began to say, but shook her head reminding herself not to bring up the conversation of their relationship.

" _What is it?_ " Brittany asked curiously. " _You can tell me._ "

Santana smiled. "We have to meet up at lunch, of course."

" _Oh! We totally will, Santana! Meet you here?_ "

"Definitely. See you soon."

Santana smiled then walked to her lesson. Brittany was just so adorable sometimes she couldn't take it. Plus, she knew Brittany loved that kiss on her cheek by the way she reacted. Maybe talking about things wouldn't be such a bad idea, but right now, she would leave it. If Brittany wanted to talk, she would.

Santana made it to her lesson and sat down getting her stuff out when she realised who was sitting next to her. Crap. Santana totally forgot she sat next to Rachel during Spanish. Sighing she just tried to ignore her but, of course Rachel being Rachel, had to say something. Why was it that she couldn't keep her mouth shut for one lesson? Just this once whilst they were arguing Santana wished she would shut up but of course that wasn't going to happen.

"Santana, can we talk?" Rachel whispered whilst Mr Schue started putting the lesson plan on the board.

"And why would I want to do that? Don't you think you've annoyed me enough already by hurting Brittany?"

The Latina glared at the brunette but noticed how upset she actually looked. Her head was down looking at her book and she was fiddling with her pen with both hands. It wasn't a look Santana saw lot of unless she had done something she really did regret, like when she ended up kissing another girl drunk at a party. Santana made sure to never let Quinn find out about it, not that it was a big deal, but Rachel was so upset and since she had helped her with coming out, she owed it to her at the time. Quinn still didn't know.

"Santana, I don't want to hurt her, trust me. She's my best friend and the last thing I want to do is hurt her." Rachel says in a weak voice sounding as though she was about to burst into tears or something. "I just...it was a misunderstanding I guess."

"What possible misunderstanding could cause you to not talk to Brittany?" Santana snapped in a hushed voice so Mr Schue didn't hear them. "Tell me that."

Rachel let out a sigh not knowing how to explain but she knew she had to. Santana was going to be Brittany's girlfriend soon so they had to get along; even though Brittany was her friend first but still. Damn it, jealousy was still coming out of her.

"I guess it all started when I saw Brittany touch you first." Rachel began fiddling with her pen. "Brittany has been my best friend since pre-school, so when I found out that you were the one she touched first, I got jealous. I thought that I would be the one who she would touch first since she trusts me and has known me longer but...she went to you."

Santana now understood. Rachel got jealous of the both of them about how close they were which Santana understood. It wasn't as though she came in and swooped Brittany away or anything, Brittany just grew on her and she knew she had grown on the blonde. They just started hanging out and she knew that, in a way, Brittany hated bothering Rachel all the time. Sighing she looked at Rachel.

"Brittany is still your best friend and always will be Rachel. Me getting to touch her first is nothing from what I can see. She just gravitated towards me out of fear and the whole touching regime just stuck." Santana explained giving Rachel a comforting smile. "She's been miserable without you. Can you please talk to her? I've tried everything."

"Course I will," Rachel responded with a smile before turning serious, "but I want you to tell me something."

"Anything you want Rachel."

"Look after her. I know you care and I was planning on interrogating you but I have better things to do than give you a pep talk on how to treat Brittany." Rachel explained with a chuckle. "And frankly, I can't be bothered."

Santana laughed nodding her head. They received a stern look from Mr Schue telling them to be quiet so they did. It was nice that she understood where Rachel was coming from. Santana looked up at Mr Schue before writing something down handing it to Rachel who opened it instantly.

_Keep your hopes up. One day she will be like her old self again and you'll be able to hug her and touch her like before :)_

After a few minutes Santana received a note back. She looked up at the board making sure Mr Schue wasn't watching before opening it. She saw three words that just broke her heart. Rachel was really upset about this. Maybe more than she has told Brittany about. It was possible she was handling this all on her own which was a hard thing to do. Not touching your best friend must be horrible. She couldn't even imagine it.

Santana looked down staring at the three words on the piece of paper.

_I hope so._


	22. Twenty-Two

Lunch was something Brittany had been looking forward to. She had been going through each lesson not being able to stop herself from glancing at the clock. She wanted to see Santana again and hopefully be able to talk to Rachel. She had been going over and over in her head about what was wrong with her and she could only think of one thing, she had forgotten something. That had to be it. What else could it be? Her memory wasn't perfect so Rachel had to understand, right? The bell had gone off already so she gathered her stuff together and made her way to her locker. She was meeting Santana in front of it anyway and might possibly be able to catch Rachel whilst she was at it.

Once she was there she looked around waiting for Santana, but it wasn't long until she came walking around the corner. Smiling, Brittany embraced her as soon as she got to where she was.

"That's a nice surprise." Santana said with a smile pulling away. "Missed me didn't you?"

" _I always miss you._ " Brittany stated blushing looking down not being able to get the feeling of her stomach churning inside her, but in a good way of course, away. " _I kept looking at the clock wanting it to be lunch time._ "

"Well now you don't have to."

Brittany nodded her head when she noticed a figure beside the Latina who she noticed was Rachel. Thank god, she wasn't still angry was she? Her mind was racing at the thought, but she blocked them out and decided on talking to her instead. It would stop her worrying and she needed that.

" _I'm sorry for whatever I did._ " Brittany blurted out looking at the brunette moving her hands in a fast motion. " _Look, if I forgot something I apologise because sometimes my mind just goes into a haze, like the time Lord Tubbington snuck back in after he did his first all nighter. That day he was not the same._ "

Rachel chuckled nodding her head. "It's not you Brittany, well, it's not you intentionally."

" _I don't get it._ " Brittany responded with a frown. " _Did I do something or not?_ "

"No, Britt, what she means is that what is going on isn't your fault. As in even though you are hurting her currently, you're not doing it on purpose." Santana explains looking from Brittany back to Rachel. "You said you'd talk to her."

" _What? I'm hurting Rachel?_ " Brittany asked worried. " _Ididn't mean to hurt you._ "

"No, honey, you're not hurting me. It's completely my fault. I mean I am hurt but not...you don't know you're hurting me but you're not...hurting me." Rachel rambles looking at the floor. "Okay, that didn't make any sense."

"You're right, it didn't. So how about you explain this to her without the words 'you hurt me'?" Santana suggests annoyed. "She feels bad enough, Rachel."

"Right. Look Brittany, I was jealous. I will stand here and admit that right now. It's been ever since the party we had for you." Rachel began to explain. "You're my best friend and you have been since we were young girls and that takes a lot to keep a friendship going as long as that. It's just, when I saw you touch Santana I got jealous because I thought that out of everyone I would be the first person you touched, not Santana."

Brittany frowned. " _What, so, because I touched Santana you don't want to be my friend anymore?_ "

"No! No, Brittany, that is not what I mean." Rachel said shaking her head trying to figure out a way to explain without hurting Brittany. "Okay, I was hurting because you touched Santana first. I apologise for not speaking to you and acting like a bitch towards you. You didn't deserve that. I just miss touching you Brittany. We were so close and I get that we still are, but I wish we could just hug like we used to. I know physical contact is hard for you so I never say anything, but I miss all of that."

" _You don't think I do?_ " Brittany asks after a small pause. " _I miss hugging you too Rachel, but after everything that happened I just find all those things difficult now. I have no idea why after Zack's death I refrained from physical contact, but I thought that out of everyone you would be the one who would be proud of me._ "

"I am proud of you!" Rachel exclaimed trying to defend herself but Brittany cut her off.

" _I don't want to hear it. You know how hard this has been for me. For the first time in, like, forever, I am able to touch another human being and all you care about is the fact that it's not you._ " Brittany responded getting angry, which was definitely not an emotion she felt very often. " _Instead of being jealous, you should be happy that I am able to touch someone again. It may not be you, but it is someone._ "

"I know that Britt, I do. I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me."

Shaking her head, Brittany held onto her bag strap stepping forward from the locker. " _I don't get mad often Rachel, but I just can't believe you right now. I need to go._ "

Before Rachel could respond, Brittany walked away leaving Santana and Rachel alone. Santana looked at her as though saying 'what did you expect?' but she understood why Rachel acted the way she did and she couldn't fault the girl for that. She was about to follow the blonde down the corridor when she saw her coming back towards her. Brittany stopped in front of the two people she had just left looking at Santana who looked back looking amused.

" _I need you to come with me. I can't go in there alone. Too many people._ "

Santana smiled and nodded moving to stand beside Brittany looking at Rachel. "I said I was having lunch with her, Rachel, so I should go. Catch up later?"

"Sure, see you later." Rachel responded nodding her head. "I have to meet Quinn anyway."

Brittany and Santana turned around making their way towards the cafeteria. Walking in, Santana understood what Brittany meant. It was definitely a lot more crowded than usual. There were a lot more people lining up for hot food and the tables were full. There was definitely no way they were eating here today. Santana looked at Brittany and motioned for them to leave which Brittany agreed to, so they made their way out of the cafeteria and back down the hallway.

" _Why is it so crowded?_ " Brittany asked looking at the Latina beside her. " _It seems very busy in there._ "

"I don't know." Santana responds shrugging her shoulders stopping and turning to the blonde. "Different reasons can make the cafeteria busy Britt, but if you want we can go out of school and to a cafe with Rachel and Quinn."

" _I'm mad at her._ " Brittany said sighing. " _I'm not usually._ "

Santana moved closer moving some hair out of Brittany's face. She kept her hand still when she saw Brittany flinch not wanting to freak her out. After a few minutes she saw her start to relax so she continued, tucking her hair behind her ear with a smile.

"You're allowed to be mad. She's your best friend so you expect her to be happy for you." Santana responded moving her thumb over her cheek slowly. "Don't feel bad about this. But I also think you should give her a chance. She's important to you even when you're mad at her."

Sighing, Brittany nodded her head knowing Santana was right, no matter how much she wished she wasn't. Rachel is her best friend and she hated being mad at her. She thought Rachel would understand but all she was doing was showing jealousy over her progression. Why would someone who is supposed to be on her side care more about who she was having physical contact with over the fact that she was able to have physical contact with someone? She knew she was probably being upset over nothing but she couldn't help it. But Santana did want to meet with Rachel and Quinn and since she would do anything for her, she knew agreeing was what she was going to do.

" _Okay, we'll meet Rachel and Quinn._ " Brittany finally replied nodding her head. " _You're right, she is important to me._ "

Smiling, Santana squeezed her arm in comfort before pulling her hand away. She was about to walk away when Brittany gripped her wrist pulling her back towards her.

Brittany felt her heart racing knowing how nervous she was. She pulled Santana towards her gripping her forearms and couldn't help but smile at the surprised look on her face. Brittany cupped her cheeks stroking her thumbs over Santana's cheeks before leaning in kissing her. As their lips met Brittany realised how much she had missed her lips on her own. She had never been so grateful to her therapist and Santana than now.

Brittany never thought that this would ever happen to her. She had only ever dreamt of being able to stand with someone, with their arms wrapped around her, whilst they kissed or hugged. She had never been so happy that she could do this now. She may not have speech currently, but she knew she would. She would be able to speak at some point because it was something she was determined to happen. She might need the therapist help, but it would happen eventually. Right now though, all she wanted to focus on was Santana.

She felt Santana press her body against her own wrapping her arms around her neck. Smiling into the kiss, Brittany tiled her head slightly moving her lips with hers enjoying the softness of her lips. All she could focus on was the kiss and the way her heart was pounding in her chest. She had never felt like this before and she loved the feeling of it. Brittany knew Santana cared a lot about her and she felt the same towards her. This feeling was exactly what she wanted with someone and to now have that, it was wonderful.

Santana pulled away slowly looking up at the blonde with a smile forming on her face. It was the second kiss they had shared and it felt as nice as the first one, even better in fact. The way Brittany was now getting the confidence to kiss her was knowledge to her of how she was progressing and that meant the world to her. It showed that they were going to be able to move on and hopefully be able to talk to each other eventually which she knew Brittany wanted.

"Brittany, that was just...wonderful."

Brittany blushed and nodded her head. " _I wanted that. I know being with me isn't like being with someone who can do all of this with no thought, but this is the best I can do for now. I want to give you a normal relationship Santana, I really do, and I'm trying. I maybe just starting to touch you, but that is a huge progression for me._ "

"Hey, I know that. I don't expect anything more from you, okay? You are special to me and we do this at your pace. I would do all of this over again if it meant I got to spend time with you. Also there is no such thing as a normal relationship, so don't you worry about that." Santana assured the blonde taking her hands in her own. "All I care about is how we are together and that we are happy. Now, how about we go and find Quinn and Rachel and grab some food?"

Smiling, Brittany nodded her head. " _Okay._ "

The two of them made their way down the hallway looking to see if they could spot Rachel and Quinn. They knew that they would most likely find them in a compromising position but Santana would have great pleasure in interrupting that. Plus, Rachel did want to make it up to Brittany after all so, really, Santana was just doing them a favour by interrupting. Well by them she means Rachel. Quinn was on good terms with Brittany anyway, so it would only just annoy her.

The both of them walked out onto the field to see two figured making out under the bleachers. A brunette and blonde to be exact which fit the profiles of Rachel and Quinn. Santana was about to walk over to them when she felt a hand on her wrist. She turned her head to look and noticed that it was Brittany holding her back. She looked at her curiously.

" _What is it?_ " Santana asked curiously. " _It's only Quinn and Rachel making out._ "

"They're having time alone, Santana. We should leave them to it and go to lunch alone." Brittany said explaining the hold back. "We will be just fine without them."

Santana shook her head. "No, you can't just stay mad at Rachel forever, Brittany. We'll go over there and invite them to come to lunch with us. You can't avoid her forever."

Sighing, Brittany nodded her head making her way over to the couple with Santana. She wasn't happy but she would have to get over it. She would have to get over being mad at her best friend at some point so she should probably start now. Well she will start when they are having their lunch at wherever they are going. A cafe Santana said, right? Something like that anyway.

When they both got to the couple Santana cleared her throat loudly to get their attention which seemed to work since they seemed to jump about a foot apart looking at the two girls shocked. Santana chuckled before smirking with her arms folded whilst Brittany just looked at the couple amused. She was just glad it was those two being caught and not the both of them. Not that they would since they were more into kissing privately, not including the hallway kiss earlier on of course.

"Sorry about that." Rachel said apologetically looking down. "We don't usually get found."

"Well we came to find you to invite you to come to lunch with us. It's too crowded in the cafeteria for us to sit down so we were going to a cafe outside school and wanted you to join us."

Rachel raised her eyebrow. "Even Brittany?"

Brittany looked down not wanting to respond since it was Santana that wanted Rachel to come to lunch after all but she knew it was the right thing to do, even if she was having a hard time understanding why Rachel was acting the way she was. She looked up at Rachel nodding her head.

" _Even me_."

The brunette looked at her before nodding her own head in agreement. She could handle this and by the look on Quinn's face, she was happy to join them too which was something. If her girlfriend was happy, she would try to be, even if her best friend didn't want to be around her.

"Great! We were going to go to a cafe so let's get going."

Brittany walked alongside Santana with Rachel and Quinn walking behind them. She would refrain from arguing since she didn't want to argue with Rachel. All she wanted was to understand why Rachel acted the way she did when she was supposed to be supporting her. Brittany didn't understand, but she knew Rachel had her reasons. She always did.

Xxxxxxxxxx

The lunch at the cafe was going surprisingly well. Brittany decided to temporarily forget about the way had reacted and enjoy the lunch instead. She didn't like being mad at people, so when she did get mad it upset her even though she was supposed to be mad. It made sense in her head but it probably wouldn't to other people. Brittany was actually quite excited. It was coming up to Easter break which meant no school, of course, but it also meant chocolate. She loved chocolate. Her parents always got her at least one Easter egg, even when she didn't talk to them. She also got one sent to her from her Uncle Jonathan. He wasn't someone she saw on a regular basis, but when she did see him she really enjoyed it. He was without a doubt her favourite Uncle.

When she thought about her family, it was upsetting to think that she hardly got to see anyone but she understood too. Since the death of Zack, the family was torn apart and they hadn't been the same since. Sure, reunions happened but it wasn't like they happened often, and even when they did everyone just seemed so awkward to even mention Zack that they didn't really have anything to talk about. Brittany hated them especially because she wasn't comfortable being so close to anyone and since she didn't talk it made it even more of a struggle.

"How is your support with Sadie going?" Rachel asked turning her head to her best friend with a smile. "You seem to be doing a lot better."

" _She helps me a lot. I mean, I still struggle with a lot of things and I get mixed up a lot, but the main thing is that I'm moving forward and that I have someone to help me understand, and if worst comes to worst, Santana is there to help me_." Brittany explains sending a smile in Santana's direction, which she was given back. " _School isn't as bad as what it used to be and I'm so grateful for that._ "

"You seem to be a lot happier. Has Santana got something to do with that?" Quinn asks with a smirk plastered on her face. "You hang out a lot."

Santana decides to interrupt at that moment to give Brittany a break. "Yes we hang out a lot, but it's not any of your business. We went on a date last week and things couldn't be better. Right Brittany?"

Brittany nods her head with a smile. " _Santana and my therapist are helping me. I've kissed Santana twice now. Once alone and once in the hallway today. I know it's a bit...maybe a bit rushed as it seems, but as long as I feel comfortable that's what matters, right? Plus I don't know if I'll end up relapsing and if I do, I'm back to where I started._ "

It was actually one of Brittany's fears that she had currently. That she would wake up and not be able to touch anyone again and be back where she was before she started the school. Her therapist had told her that it was possible and she had even had a couple of nightmares too but she wouldn't tell anyone that. More than anything she just wanted to be a normal teenage girl, one that didn't need therapy and who wasn't scared of human contact, but that was who she was now. She had been like this for years but now that she had someone to touch and hold, she didn't want that feeling to go away. She really just wanted the feeling to stick but she had no idea if it would. The dreaded feeling she felt came over her and it made her shiver.

"But she's doing great!" Santana praised taking Brittany's hand under the table entwining their fingers which made both their hearts flutter at the contact. "Like Brittany just said, she's doing great and we are working alongside her therapist. But on another note; Brittany has a Motocross race this Saturday."

"You're racing this weekend?" Rachel asked in surprise, but she was definitely happy about it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Brittany blushed. " _It actually crossed my mind. I've been so excited about it but you should both totally come and watch me. It's just going to be Santana there so she'll need company._ "

"Actually..." Santana began feeling her face heat up. "I invited your parents too. I thought that they would want to be there at the race t watch you since you've not raced like this before."

The blonde turned to her in surprise. " _You invited my parents?_ "

"I hope that's okay. I knew you wouldn't so I thought that I would. They should be there Brittany." Santana tried explaining in a panic thinking that Brittany would be mad but when she saw a smile form on her face, Santana knew it wasn't a bad type of shock which eased her mind a little.

"Susan and Pierce will be there?" Rachel asked in surprise. "That's great!"

"Am I the only one who is shocked by Pierce having the same first and last name?" Quinn asked after picking up on what Rachel said. "Pierce Pierce?"

Shaking her head, Santana let out a small laugh. "When I spoke to Susan I was shocked too but she said it kind of runs in his family of having children with weird names."

" _It's true. He has a cousin called Jackson Jackson, an uncle called Rover, a niece called Snow and my grandfather has the weirdest name being called Knowledge_." Brittany explained and when she saw the looks on her friends faces, she knew she had to explain a little more. " _I'm serious here. It's on his birth certificate and everything. Grandpa tells me his parents wanted him to be smart and that the only way he was going to be able to do that is by calling him knowledge itself. He's a very smart man though so I guess they got something right_."

Santana stared at the blonde beauty before snapping out of it and shaking her head. She would definitely have to meet the man who goes by the name Knowledge and ask him why the heck didn't he change his name when he could. It was awful but if it ran in the family then it wasn't seen as unusual to them. It was a good thing Pierce had Susan to convince him to name their children correctly which, thinking about Brittany and Zack's benefit, was a good thing indeed.

"Well your dad's side of the family will be interesting to meet at some stage." Santana finally said speaking up after being quiet for a while.

Rachel looked between the two girls in front of her on the other side of the table before blurting out. "Are you two dating?"

Santana and Brittany both turned to the brunette both surprised by her outburst. It was definitely not something either of them were expecting her to say but also at the same time they were expecting her to say it eventually with how much they had been hanging out and what not. They were both happy what they were doing and their dynamic may not be exactly normal, well normal didn't exist from what Santana said but it was what Brittany would say, but they didn't care. They liked it and even if they only kissed and touched when Brittany was comfortable, it was what got them by. But dating? They hadn't even spoken about that particular part yet so what was the answer? Well they didn't have one, obviously.

"Well I would say-"

" _I mean we are just-_ "

The two girls looked at each other and blushed when they noticed they had tried explaining at the same time. The both of them just laughed it off shaking their heads in amusement but deep down they both knew what they wanted. But it was a conversation to do in private.

" _We haven't spoken about it_." Brittany confessed with a shrug of her shoulders as though it wasn't a big concern for her. " _We will though, just not right now in front of you both_."

Santana nodded her head in agreement. "We know we need to talk about it but right now? No. We'll talk about it later."

Before they could say anything more Rachel and Quinn stood up getting out from the table they were sharing with them. Santana and Brittany looked at them confused. Lunch wasn't even over yet and they were leaving? Odd was a word that came to mind.

" _Where are you two off to?_ " Brittany asked confused as to why they were standing up.

"Oh we are going back to school to let you two talk."

Rachel winked at the both of them before walking out of the cafe with Quinn on her arm. Brittany looked at Santana confused and noticed that Santana was wearing the same expression on her face as she was. Neither of them knew what they were on about but they decided on enjoying their lunch anyway. Why waste food that they had bought already?

"Well that was odd."

Brittany chuckled in agreement nodding her head. " _Very, but then again it's Rachel; I don't expect anything else._ "

"So so true. Looking at the time we better get back to school anyway. You done?"

Brittany nodded her head and they both paid and made their way back to school. Santana got up the courage to take Brittany's hand entwining their fingers which Brittany happily accepted after tensing first. They walked in silence but neither girl minded since they were just content on being together.


	23. Twenty-Three

The week went by and before Brittany knew it, she was in her tent getting ready for her race. Her agent, Tom, had sorted it all out for her and it was just a standard race that they had sometimes, but the reward for winning was $500 which would definitely come in handy. She had practice every day at 5am so they could get her used to the track and also so Tom could time her at how fast she was, but time wasn't an issue. It never was since she loved speed and the feeling of being out there on the track. Plus, after Santana gave her the necklace she always wore it when racing to feel him with her. He said he would be at every race cheering her on and she always felt it. It always made her feel better.

She was standing in her suit that she wore for races holding her helmet underneath her arm before making her way to the entrance and exit of the tent to only find Santana walking in. She smiled putting her helmet down.

" _Santana? What are you doing here?_ "

Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Well I thought I'd just come and see how you were. Plus Rachel, Quinn and your parents were getting on my nerves."

" _Oh god, has mom started going on about how she has waited for this day since Zack passed?_ "

"No actually, but they are staring at the track as though it's going to get up and run away." Santana said with a chuckle."How are you feeling?"

Brittany nodded her head letting a smile form on her face. " _I'm ready for this. It's something I love to do and I also feel Zack here with me because of the necklace you gave me for my birthday._ "

Santana let's a smile form on her face knowing she made the right decision on the gift she purchased for the blonde. It was nice knowing she was wearing the necklace which was what she wanted when she bought the present. She wanted to get something she would either wear or use and a necklace fit straight into that category. To see her wearing it just made Santana's heart swoon and to know she felt as though her brother was close by meant even more. She had never met Zack, but she can imagine what he would look like at Brittany's age. She imagined the twins being inseparable, laughing together and chatting. She knew Brittany's life would be so much different if Zack didn't die, which might have meant not knowing her. But as she thought about it she'd do anything to make Brittany happy and if she could make it so her twin was alive she would but unfortunately she couldn't do that so the best she could do was stand by her side and support her.

"I'm glad you feel like that, Brittany." Santana said with a smile. "I know Zack would be very proud of you and I also know he'll be right in the stands watching you race today."

When Brittany doesn't think she can feel for Santana more than she already does, Santana proves her wrong. How can someone be so sweet and innocent but also at the same time have guts too? It's a very unlikely combination when she thinks about it but it doesn't bother her. Santana is just amazing and perfect so in a sense she's amazingly perfect. That's the right phrase to use at this moment.

Turning around Brittany moved towards the wall of the tent and took down her motocross gear which was hung up on the side waiting for her to put on. Her helmet on the other hand was with all of her other protective gear on the side. She looked up at the clock noticing that it wasn't long until she was due out so she stripped down to her underwear, not noticing an eye wide Santana behind her staring, before slipping on a top over her head putting on her chest and elbow protection. She always put a top on so that the chest protection didn't hurt her skin. It had never happened but she didn't particularly want it to either. She slipped her knee pads on and got her motocross pants and jacket on putting them over the top of her protective gear she already had on. Zipping up her jacket, she finally putting on her neck brace. A lot of the riders she knew didn't wear one but Brittany knew it was better to be safe than sorry and having to end up in a hospital bed for focusing more on looking cool than being safe. She wasn't stupid so she kept with the safe option.

Santana, on the other hand, was in her own little world standing there watching her. Brittany looked, honest to god, friggin sexy as hell. She hadn't seen her in her motocross gear before so to see her now standing right in front of her wearing it was a dream come true that she didn't even wish for. How can someone who looks so innocent turn hot in a matter of seconds? She watched as Brittany put on her boots walking over to where she was standing previously looking at me with a smile. That smile...I won't ever get tired of seeing it.

" _You know I'm glad I'm doing this. It's the one thing that makes me happy more than anything and it lets me be free out there._ " Brittany explains with a smile before putting her gloves on starting to sign again. " _And what's more is that my parents are here because of you. You're amazing you are._ "

"I just want to make you happy." Santana said honestly. "You mean everything and when you're happy I am so it's a win win."

" _In your favor?_ " Brittany asks raising her eyebrow smirking.

"Duh." Santana laughed then walked over to the side picking up Brittany's helmet and goggles before standing in front of her with a loving smile. "You beat those idiots out there and show them what you're made of."

Brittany nodded smiling at the Latina taking them from her before Tom walks into the tent.

"You ready, Britt? The race is about to begin."

Brittany nods kissing Santana's cheek before walking away with Tom. She felt even more determination to beat everyone at the track today since her parents and friends were watching. She looked at the bike she was using and smiled. Wait, it can't be.

" _This isn't...this is the Honda CRF 450R! This only came out this year!_ " Brittany exclaimed moving her hands over the bike looking up at Tom. " _How the hell did you get this?!_ "

"It's yours Brittany." Tom said with a smile. "Have a seat and I'll show you all the controls."

Brittany smiled and was in complete awe. She had been looking at bikes online recently when she was about to go to sleep after texting Santana and she had seen this model and wished she could ride it with all its new features. It's the first motocross bike that has an engine mode select button so you could choose an engine based on the track conditions. It also has a new head and piston cylinder which helps the engine deliver more top-end power and rev as well as having piston heat treatment to help with durability. She hasn't even paying attention since she knew exactly what the controls were. She just couldn't believe she was sat on top of one right now. She felt as though she was dreaming and was going to wake up in her bedroom. She moved her hands over the body of the bike grinning.

"You get all that?" Tom asked with a smirk. "Do you need to be alone?"

" _Shut up._ " Brittany smirked pulling back putting her goggles and helmet on. " _I'll definitely win on this. Thank you so so much Tom! I owe you one._ "

"You owe me by winning. Go!"

Brittany grinned walking up to the track with her bike. She got into position and smirked to herself when she noticed all the other racers looking at the bike she was on. She looked over the track turning the engine to standard since it wasn't that bad of a track then revved the engine enjoying the sound of the engine. She looked ahead with determination just wanting to get going but not before glancing at all of the other racers. There were ten racing today and she knew there was no way she was losing. She saw the guy at the side with a gun that was going to start the race. It wasn't a professional race so they didn't have the big starts like you see on TV and this is the best you can get, but Brittany didn't mind. She loves any race no matter what stage so she revved the engine once more and twisted the throttle once the gun went off shooting forward on the bike with everyone else around her. This is the feeling she had missed and she was going to enjoy it.

Even though they were only in Ohio she could hear the commentary going off in the background, but that was not her initial focus at the moment. She was just glad everyone would hear who won at the end. She moved around the first corner smoothly picking up some more speed before going over a few bumps on the track which caused her to go up in the air a few times before landing and going down the track picking up speed but Brittany made sure to be going at a speed where she could slow down if needed. In this sport you needed a lot of focus and you had to know how to control your bike which, lucky for her, she knew how.

Brittany pulled the clutch down and moved her foot to change the gear before releasing the clutch again. She heard all of the other racers not far behind her but there was always that one racer when you're in the lead that you're up against and she was up against this guy who she knew had tried every year but never won, which made his determination to win just as much as Brittany's , maybe even more. She wasn't going to let him get to her though. She had Santana, Quinn, Rachel, her parents and she was sure Zack was watching too and there was no way she was going to allow some guy to beat her. Not today. She was going to qualify and get through to the next race. She changed down a gear so she wouldn't move off of the track and went around the corner straightening up as she came off of it moving up a gear again speeding forward. She saw a hill in front and sped up even more going up in the air spinning the bike and herself in mid air before landing and shooting forward hearing cheers from the crowd.

She went around another corner and another straight afterwards keeping full control of the bike not wanting to fall down. She had enough practice through the years about what to do and what not to do so she knew she should be fine anyway It wasn't as though she was a beginner. She had at least ten years experience after all. It was actually a lot harder than what it looks like since you have to keep control, go around each corner without falling off the bike as well as coming down from jumps without falling too. It was quite difficult but she loved the challenge. When she was at school she had to suffer with school work due to her Dyslexia, but out on the track she has skill and knew exactly what to do, and she knew very well that most people at school wouldn't even dare to try what she does on a regular basis. It made her proud of herself knowing she could do something not many other teenagers could.

Brittany made her way around the corners maneuvering through the track very easily. She had driven on harder tracks before since she remembers her dad took her when she was around eleven to one of the big race tracks and by god she loved it. Big hills, tight corners and it really made her try even harder to complete the track. By going on the track it helped her control too. They may not have spoken but she remembers hearing her dad cheer her on and Brittany think it's why she is kind of closer to her dad. He may not have tried speaking sign language, but he still tried his damn hardest to be a dad. He had come into her room multiple times and tried to communicate and she couldn't be more grateful to the man for trying. Shaking her head out of her thoughts she heard another racer coming up close behind her. Seriously? Invading personal space much? Brittany picked up speed to widen the space between the two of them riding towards another hill. Brittany picks up speed changing to a higher gear jumping up into the air getting off of the bike holding onto the handles making people cheer again. She gets back on the bike before it hits the ground driving off.

She goes around a corner and drives ahead finishing a lap having two more to go. The drivers were quite far behind apart from one which was closing on her but that didn't bother her. She loved the competition so she kicked it up a notch going faster. The cheers she heard just made her want to finish first more than anything. Well, some cheers might not be for her but still. She can pretend that they were. She felt the guy behind her coming closer but she made sure he couldn't pass whilst turning the corner and driving ahead once more. She knew the driver behind her must be getting pissed with her but she didn't care. A race has a winner and the whole point of it is for someone to get to the finish line first and win the race. She smiled to herself then drove fast ahead leaving the other driver behind.

The rest of the race went by so fast that she was already on the last lap driving towards the finish line. She had been overtaken once already and she was not about to let that happen again. She looked ahead already seeing it and revved her engine going faster towards the finish. There were now two people catching up to her with one almost overtaking but she went around the two corners that were there before taking off forwards fast speeding towards the finish. A mile to go. Half a mile. She was almost there...almost...there! She sped over the finish line hearing a loud cheer from the stands. She turned around the bike coming to a stop taking the helmet off letting her hair free taking her goggles off too putting them onto a handle. She put the stand on the bike letting it stand alone once she had gotten off of it. She smiled when she heard the commentator call that she had won the race. She looked up and saw her parents along with Quinn and Rachel but Santana wasn't there. She was about to look around when a pair of arms flung around her neck hugging her tight. It shocked Brittany a little but when she noticed the body that was hugging her was Santana she wrapped her arms around her hugging her back lifting her off the ground spinning them around. She had always wondered what it was like to have someone do this with after a race and now she knew what it felt like she would have to do it more often.

Looking up at the stands, she swore she saw a figure that looked like a young Zack Pierce but she shook it off as her imagination. Ghosts aren't real so why would she see him exactly? Brittany put down Santana looking at her noticing the look of adoration on her face. It made the butterflies in her stomach start to move.

"Brittany, you were amazing!" Santana exclaimed grinning at her. "All through the race you were just spectacular and I didn't know what to expect I mean I had researched it but I didn't know you were that good!"

" _I have been doing motocross since I was four, San._ " Brittany said with a smirk. " _I did tell you, well, I think I did. Did I tell you?_ "

"Hmm." Santana said thinking if she had or not and ended up shaking her head. "Nope, you just told me that you did motocross."

" _Oh, I thought I told you. Oh well, you know now._ " Brittany chuckled shrugging her shoulders. " _Thank you for all the support you've given me._ "

"I'll always support you. I care about you and I happen to really like you."

Brittany looks at the brunette. What were they doing? They were practically girlfriend's, but neither of them had asked the other out. What were they playing at? They were both gorgeous and either one of them could get a girlfriend or boyfriend so what was the hold up? Brittany knew Santana wanted to go at her pace so maybe she was waiting for her to ask. Maybe that was the reason behind not talking about it. It wouldn't surprise her since she was one to be quite dim-witted when it comes to noticing things. Should she be the one who asks?

" _Santana, we have been kind of dancing around our feelings haven't we?_ " Brittany asks with a smile. " _Don't you think we should just talk?_ "

"Is that your way of asking me out?" Santana asks with a raise of her eyebrow and a smirk.. "Are you asking me out Brittany Pierce?

" _I don't need to because we are technically already dating. I am asking you if you would like to...officially...become my girlfriend._ " Brittany responds with a grin." _I mean, we both like each other, have been on a date and it's obvious we have chemistry._ "

"We do, I agree with that." Santana responds nodding her head with a smile. "I would love to be your girlfriend."

Grinning, Brittany leant down kissing Santana not being able to stop herself. She heard a lot of people surrounding them, but she didn't care. She protectively pulled Santana closer holding her close whilst they shared a kiss together. She didn't know why but winning a race just gave her a rush of confidence she wouldn't normally feel. She pulled back and smiled at her girlfriend before pulling back and pulling her into her side. She felt Santana cuddle into her side and looked up to see camera's taking pictures of the two of them. She wasn't exactly happy about Santana getting brought into the pictures but she was happy she was by her side.

Tom walked up to the both of them and grinned at his client. He had never seen such good motocross racing before and it made him smile. He knew she was destined for greatness as cheesy as that sounded. He stopped next to the two girls after motioning the photographers to go elsewhere.

"Brittany, that was fantastic!" Tom beamed clapping his hands together. "You qualify for the next race in a few months time. It's still not very big but its bigger than this one in Ohio."

" _Where is it?_ " Brittany asks curiously pulling her arm away from Santana to sign. " _Anywhere far?_ "

"It's still in the state of Ohio. This championship is all around the state of Ohio so it's not that far from home then if you win this championship you move up. Next race is in Columbus. Just over an hour and a half drive but since you're my client I'll set up the transport for you so you can bring whoever you want. Which I assume will be including your lovely lady friend here."

"Girlfriend actually." Santana corrected beaming happily. "I'm the girlfriend who is very proud of her."

"And you should be. Right , you'll be called up in a few minutes to get your money and trophy so listen out for that. I'll still be contacting you about practices too but apart from that, congratulations and enjoy the rest of your day. You deserve this." Tom said with a smile before walking off putting his phone to his ear.

Brittany was ecstatic and the net few hours were such a blur for her she could only remember glimpses. She remembered standing on the podium being given the winner's trophy and being given a check for five hundred dollars but after that it was just a big rush. She had photographers taking pictures, some people wanting a picture signed of her, which she did find rather odd since she wasn't famous or anything, as well as having someone try and interview her who looked like someone from the news, until they figured out she only spoke through sign. She didn't think the race was that big of a deal but apparently it must have been with the amount of people there were. Before she knew it her new bike was in a trailer being pulled by the car and they were on their way back to Brittany's house.

Xxxxxxxxxx

It's actually surprising how many people notice you when you do something they didn't think you would. Brittany had noticed people looking at her and smiling all day. It had been a few days since the race and students around school were acting like she had won an award or something. They didn't try and talk to her or come near her but she was glad that they didn't. She didn't want that and everyone knew by now how she reacted when people got too close. But the difference now was that they respected that. Santana nor Rachel had to say anything either. It was great to know she had people on her side and that they would stick up for her if needed. Santana especially wasn't shy on giving people a glare if they stood too close to them but Brittany just looked at her and secretly told her that it wasn't needed. Frankly ever since the race everything had been looking up.

Santana and Brittany's relationship had blossomed quite spectacularly. They walked one another to class, held hands and cuddled up to one another when they weren't in class and Brittany had even been comfortable kissing her in public a lot more. Brittany could tell she had been getting a lot better and she knew that it wouldn't be long until she could speak again. She wasn't rushing, of course, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't eager. Brittany loved the times where they were alone at each other's houses though. She hadn't exactly 'met' Santana's parents and family but she had heard them from downstairs. Santana had told them how she wanted the meeting to be perfect and not by her just staying over so she refused her parents to introduce themselves. She thought Santana was actually really sweet with the gesture. She did love just laying in bed with Santana cuddling though. They didn't even have to say anything and Brittany would instantly feel relaxed just by feeling Santana trailing her finger over her arm. She couldn't ask for a better girlfriend and even if there was one on offer she wouldn't want them. Santana was her perfect girlfriend and she was all she wanted too.

Therapy had picked back up again too since she hadn't been that much over the past few weeks due to practices and school work but there was one she was going to today and she knew she couldn't miss it. Plus Santana and her parents knew about it and so did Rachel and Quinn so if she tried to skip they were there to tell her that she had to go. Of course, Brittany was still trying to change Santana's mind.

" _But babe! I could spend the time with you. We could go get ice cream or go feed the ducks!_ "

Chuckling, Santana kissed Brittany's nose. "As awesome as those things sound, you have therapy. We'll do those things after, okay? You haven't really been going much and I think going will help you."

" _I have been going._ " Brittany signed looking at her girlfriend who raised her eyebrow at her as though silently asking, 'really? ' so Brittany shook her head in defeat. " _Fine, I haven't. The last time I went was when I spoke to him about Zack and he helped me._ "

"Any reason why you haven't been?" Santana asked curiously. "You've always told me going is the best thing to do."

" _You help me. What more do I need? You've helped me loads so maybe I don't need the therapist after all._ "

Sighing, she shrugged her shoulders moving her blonde hair to one side laying on one shoulder. She didn't really know why she hadn't been going actually since Dr Parker had done so much for her. She honestly thought that maybe it was just Santana making her feel better but, of course, she knew it wasn't. She had the therapist help her with decisions she was struggling with and he explained things to her as well. She was probably drawn back after the Zack fiasco the sessions just came to a stop which wasn't exactly good.

"You do need the therapist babe. I'm only part of the equation and your therapist is the other half."

" _I just don't like the atmosphere in the room when I do go into the room. I don't like all the questions and the therapist asking all about my life. I just don't like that._ " Brittany explained, sighing in frustration. " _And on top of therapy I have all the work that Sadie gives me to do that I still have yet to do. She's understanding to a certain extent, but if I don't do enough she can still get pissed at me for it._ "

Santana smirked at her girlfriend. It wasn't often that Brittany did swear, well, at least in front of her but when she did it still shocked her due to the fact that it wasn't expected. When she looked at her she just didn't expect to see her sign swear words. She smiled at her shaking her head in amusement at that before looking up to see Brittany actually looking upset. She knew she could help by maybe going to therapy with her but was that really logical? They had only been dating a few days and now that they were official didn't mean she was supposed to be with her all the time, as much as she wanted to be. Maybe she could suggest it though. No harm, right?

"Babe, just calm down and listen to me, alright?" Santana requested. She waited for Brittany to nod her head before taking a breath and continuing. "Okay, so I know we haven't been dating long, and therapy is a big deal for you since you have to talk about personal things, but what if I came along? I mean, I could even just wait outside until you finish if you don't want me in the room, but it could help, you know?"

Brittany nodded her head and thought about the concept. Santana had been on her side since the beginning; helping her and being her friend as well as understanding the way she was as a person. Apart from Rachel, there was no one she trusted more. She didn't know exactly what she thought about Santana coming along but there was one thing she did know. She felt safe around Santana and it had crossed her mind before. Why should she say no?

But then again there was the fact that yes it was a big deal because it was therapy. Was she ready to have Santana join her in therapy? She knows that Santana wouldn't judge her but she's pretty sure Rachel would have something to say about it for definite. She didn't know what to think but Santana did say she wouldn't mind sitting in the waiting room. Maybe that was an option.

" _Can you come along...but like...wait in the waiting room?_ " Brittany asked. " _I'm still going by what I wanted and doing the therapy alone, but it would be nice knowing you are on the other side of the door if I need you._ "

"Brittany, I told you after you touched me for the first time that I would support you through it all and I'm not breaking that promise." Santana said with a smile on her lips. "By the way I am shocked that you know swear words in sign language."

Brittany just smirked at Santana. " _Well what can I say? I'm not as innocent as you might think._ "

Santana eyes widened feeling her core tingle. Wait, why was she even thinking like that?! Brittany might be her girlfriend but of course she didn't mean not as innocent in that perspective. Christ, what was she thinking? Santana just blushed and looked down before she heard Brittany laugh and it sent warmth through her body. She loved Brittany's laugh and her smile as well as, well, everything. She has yet to find a fault in Brittany. Most likely because she doesn't have any faults since she is the definition of perfection as anyone a mile away could see. She might be biased due to the fact that they were dating but she didn't think that was the reason. She just thought the blonde was perfect.

She felt Brittany tilt her head up and was met with bright blue ocean eyes. She loved her eyes the most since she got to look at them all the time without needing a reason. Who would need a reason to look into those eyes if Brittany gave them permission?

" _Stop thinking so much. I miss your voice when you think._ " Brittany stated honestly with a smile. " _I like your voice._ "

Santana smiles. "I'm sure I will like yours when I eventually hear it too."

Looking back, Brittany gives her a sad smile. " _You think I'll be able to talk to you for real one day?_ "

"I believe you will, babe." Santana responded smiling before giving her a small kiss on the cheek. "Do you believe that? Because you should."

" _I do!_ " The blonde insisted. " _I just...I wish I didn't have this problem._ "

"Okay, you listen to me Brittany Pierce. What you have isn't a 'problem' as you so call it. Your selective mutism happened from a shock because you saw your brother after he was killed. That is not your fault. It is the person who caused your brother to be found like that!" Santana snapped raising her voice a little but lets out a breath noticing Brittany's reaction. She had never raised her voice at Brittany before but hearing her say that about herself just...it got to her. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you."

" _No, you shouldn't have._ " Brittany agrees nodding her head watching Santana's face form a guilty look. " _But I understand why you said it and I'm sorry for calling my mutism a problem. It's just...you don't understand what it's like, San. Not being able to communicate with a lot of people is hard. You don't realize how hard it is until you go through it like I have for the past ten or so years. I'm seventeen now and I haven't spoken since I was six so that's a long time to not talk to anyone._ "

Santana nods her head. She wasn't able to understand Brittany because she was able to communicate with whoever she wanted but Brittany wasn't. She couldn't just go up to whoever she wanted and start a conversation so she could only imagine what frustrations it must bring out of Brittany. She wanted to understand, of course she did, but the fact of the matter was that she couldn't understand and she never would. What she could do, however, was be there for her and like she had promised her, she would be there every step of the way no matter how hard it was. She could never just leave her alone. She cared about her too much and was now in too deep to quit or to want to quit for that matter. She wouldn't even if she wanted to because Brittany needed support from everyone around her.

"Brittany, I will admit I don't understand what you are going through. How can I when I am able to talk to others and I have never had the problem of being afraid to go out in public places? But what I can tell you is that by just being around you I can sort of understand why you feel the way you do. You get upset and frustrated because communication is difficult for you. You can't just go out and talk to others and you can't make friends easily but I want you to understand something and listen to me, okay?"

Brittany looked at the girl in front of her and nodded her head. " _I'm listening._ "

"You have a reason for being the way you are. You have had a tough past and yes, I will never feel what you did and I can't even begin to imagine how you felt at that time or at any time where it was difficult." Santana began to explain before taking Brittany's hand into her own. "But what I can do is promise you that I will be here by your side from now on. I want to be there to help and support you. You mean the world to me and nothing anyone says will make me change my opinion of you."

Brittany felt her lip quiver as she started to feel her eyes water. " _You really mean that?_ "

"I mean every single word I say to you. Unless we get into an argument and I say something I regret then feel free to ignore that." Santana responded with a cheesy grin. "So...are we good?"

" _Yeah, we're good._ "

Brittany lets out a breath nodding finishing her signing before moving her arms around Santana burying her face into her neck. She knew she had a way to go yet but she didn't mind. Santana was everything to her which also included her girlfriend. She finally had a girlfriend and yes, she hadn't dated before but she was enjoying the company Santana gave her. She knew Santana had probably dated others in the past too, but she didn't think about that. Santana was now hers and if she could, she would. She definitely would saying that, but for now they were just content on being together and enjoying each other's company.

Saying how much she could touch Santana now, it had gotten to a point where she didn't even need to think about it and it was one of the reasons she didn't want to go to therapy since she knows he'll say something about it being temporary and freak her out. She doesn't want that. She just wants to be happy and move forward instead of looking into the past like she had been doing for years. It was time she moved forward from everything and Brittany knew that was what Zack would want. He would want her to be happy with Santana, so maybe it's time she did what she had to do to move on.


	24. Twenty-Four

Brittany's relationship with Santana has only just blossomed from the moment it began. Days together turned into weeks and it seemed as though they had been together for a lot longer than they had been. Brittany had been continuing her therapy with Santana occasionally reminding her what good it would do in the long run. Brittany may be way off from talking to Santana in conversation but she did, thankfully, still have the ability to talk to Zack when she went to see him. It started out with just the one time but after that it started to feel nice being able to talk to him. It was as though he was right there with her and that gave her comfort. Zack had always been the one who understood her better than anyone and even though she still missed him, she was getting to the point where she knew that she had to move on and be happy. Staying in the past wasn't healthy, according to Dr Parker anyway, and if she wanted to live her life she had to let go and stop feeling responsible for his death. Brittany wasn't sure if Santana knew how she felt, but at the same time it was better left unknown.

The truth was, Brittany spoke about a lot of things with her brother; she never forgot when he visited to bring some flowers either since, according to Santana, everyone brought flowers. Since the pair of them didn't like to be traditional growing up, Brittany tried to take chocolate to the grave so Zack could maybe take it to heaven with him, but it was a long way and the bar was gone by the time she got there.

"Hey Zack. Um...I have a letter here and if it's okay I wanted to read it to you." Brittany started off when she sat down on the grass in front of the gravestone. "I wrote it ages ago so I apologize for the grammar errors. Not that you can read it..."

Brittany looked at the tombstone for a few seconds before getting the letter out. She remembers when she was in class around a year after Zack had been found; all she wanted was to talk to her brother so she wrote him the letter in her hand currently, hoping that she could somehow get it to him. She remembers the insane ideas that had come to mind, such as making a huge ladder to heaven so she could give it to him personally or sending it up in a balloon so it could float up to him. She was laughing about them now, but at the time they were very serious ideas. Brittany cleared her throat nervously before starting to read it out loud the best she could.

_"To Zack Attack ,_

_I realy miss you. You is my brover and I is now sad becoz you is not arond anymor. I love you a lot and mommy and daddy is now sad too which makes me sad. Scool is no fun wivout you wiv me and I now has noone to share my sweeties wiv. I has loads of ideas to get this leter to you but they is all hard and I don't fink mommy or daddy would let me. I miss you and I will find a way to get this leter to you and find out who hurted you so bad!_

_Luv Britt-Britt"_

Brittany's hands were shaking by the time she finished the letter. She hadn't read it since she wrote it and even now it still pained her, but she had made a list of things she had to do to start moving on and this was one of them. She hadn't told Santana or her therapist since it was something she wanted to keep private, but now she had read it out loud, she knew she had stepped over one of the hurdles that was in her way. She rolled the letter up and put it in one of the holes where the flowers were supposed to go. She had made sure to leave one hole spare to slide the letter into. She could just give the extra flower to Santana later.

Looking up at the sky, Brittany could tell it was about to rain, so she stood up putting the hood up on her coat saying her goodbye's before walking out of the cemetery putting her hands in her pockets. She walked towards her house when she felt a familiar hand on her arm. She turned around to see Santana. She was a lot more casual today. She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans along with a football jersey on and she even had a cap on that she was wearing backwards. Okay let's just be honest here; she looked totally sexy.

"Hey. Were you just visiting Zack?" Santana asks; one of her adorable smiles plastered on her face. "I was thinking we could go see a movie. What do you say? Crap, I know that is, like, so insensitive after you were just seeing your brother, but I thought you could use a distraction and-"

Brittany doesn't let her finish before pulling her into a kiss. She wraps her arms around Santana's neck moving her lips along with hers. Every time they had kissed Brittany had seen fireworks, which she loved. Every time the pair of them spent time together she still got a little nervous and it was amazing because self consciously it still showed that the feelings for her were just growing stronger. But usually after a while the nerves disappeared which showed how much at ease she was with the girl standing in front of her. Brittany gasped when she felt Santana's tongue peek out to run along her bottom lip asking permission for entrance. Her tongue felt amazing on her lip which made her want more, so she opened her mouth allowing access feeling Santana slide her tongue into her mouth to move with hers. The kiss felt amazing. It wasn't passionate enough to want to rip each other's clothes off, but it was enough to want more. To need more. Brittany moved her hand up to play with the hairs at the back of Santana's neck smiling when she feels her shiver slightly. Shiver in pleasure at her touch. She loved that she made her feel that way and for the first time, she wasn't going to deny it, she felt different. She had never had this feeling from a kiss before. She felt...aroused. The kiss made her want, no, need more of Santana. Made her want to explore the spectacle that is Santana Lopez.

Pulling all Brittany could do is look at Santana. She moved her lips wanting to talk but no sound was coming out. Santana seemed to notice and put her hand on Brittany's shoulder giving her a comforting smile.

"Hey. When you're ready to talk to me, you'll know." Santana assures her girlfriend. Brittany looks at her questionably.

" _How do you know?_ "

Santana puts her hand over Brittany's heart. "Because you will feel it here. You can't focus so much on what your head wants you to do. Your heart is the one thing you need to listen to because if you don't feel it here, you aren't going to get very far."

" _But what if I do feel it there?_ " Brittany asks pouting. " _I mean...my heart wants you._ "

"Your heart may want me, but that doesn't mean your heart is ready to let your voice come out yet." Santana responds calmly. "I can't wait to hear your voice Brittany, but wait until you are ready completely."

Beaming at her girlfriend, Brittany embraces her enjoying the feel of Santana's body warmth. She wasn't thinking about anyone else at this point aside from Santana. It was hard to think of anything else when she was around her as a matter of fact. Her parents, Rachel and Zack seemed to just slip her mind. She did feel awful, of course, but Santana just made her so...relaxed. At ease. Even now she was helping her with her speech insecurity without even realizing. That was how good Santana was. Dr Parker had even agreed that Santana was helping her get better. Well it wasn't said in those words but that was the gist of it. She pulled away before smiling.

"So what movie were you thinking of?"

Santana smiled and was about to answer when Brittany reached up taking her hat off of her putting it on her own head. She chuckled reaching forward to fix it before taking her hand walking down the street with her slowly sliding her fingers through Brittany's who felt her whole body warm up at that moment. Brittany couldn't help but smile whilst they walked through the street together. No words were said, not that Brittany could say anything anyway, but still. All her life she had imagined this. Imagined holding hands with her girlfriend down the street with them being proud of her. Having them just look her way and smile, which she knows Santana does from time to time. Nothing in her life had gone right until she moved to McKinley and everything seemed to be going for her. Therapy, meeting Santana, seeing Rachel more, making new friends and also getting help with her studies. She also seemed to be getting a better relationship with her parents since they were trying harder to be in her life. Everything was going for her and she loved it.

"Well, well, well, look who it is." A voice teased behind them making Brittany turn around. She knew who it was instantly. "Brittany Pierce. Wow, it is you."

Brittany looked down at the floor. She hated the girl who was standing before her and Santana. She was the one who started the whole bullying when she joined the school and after that she wasn't left alone. Her name is Taylor Brown. She's a cheerleader and the HBIC at her old school. She despised her with a passion and had no intention of lying about it. Taylor made her life a living hell and had never forgiven her for it. Apparently she was still trying to terrorize her life.

"Who the fuck are you?" Santana snapped glaring at the girl.

"Taylor Brown. I go to West Ohio High School. The very school Brittany used to attend. We know each other." Taylor explained with a smirk on her face. "But I see she still has that problem of hers even after transferring months ago."

Tightening her grip on Santana's arm, she kept her distance from the girl. Just because she trusted Santana and could touch her didn't mean she wanted anyone else in that position. Especially not Taylor. Brittany was about to pull away when she felt Santana's arm move around her waist pulling her body into her side protectively. What was Santana doing exactly?

"What the fuck did you just say?" Santana snarled grinding her teeth together. "You think it's funny to pick on someone who is struggling with something that happened in their past? Or are you just a bitch who enjoys bullying people who are vulnerable to make yourself look like a big shot?"

That seemed to shut Taylor up completely. Brittany watched the way Santana had shot down her attitude in one go which definitely made her feel proud to be her girlfriend. The girl didn't say anything for a few moments and when it seemed like Taylor was about to go for her Brittany was about to back away but Santana was right there as though she knew what her plan was. She had a tight grip on Taylor's arm glaring at her.

"Get off me!"

"You go anywhere near my girlfriend again and I will ends you." Santana threatened with a stone cold look towards Taylor before letting go. "And yes that is a promise."

As soon as Santana let go, Taylor backed away. Brittany's arms were wrapped tight around Santana's waist resting her head on her shoulder feeling her girlfriend wrap her arm around her shoulders feeling protected again instantly. She watched Taylor's reaction until she turned to her with the same glare Santana had given her just moments ago.

"You can't hide behind your girlfriend forever and when that happens, I'll get you."

With that, the black haired girl stormed off in anger after being defeated by someone for once. Santana turned to her and smiled kissing her softly on the lips before making their way to the movies. She was enjoying the comfortable silence before it was broke by Santana.

"Was she the reason you left?"

Sighing, Brittany nodded. She knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later but she was hoping for the latter. She had no idea Taylor would find her seeing as she doesn't even live in the same area so it was weird seeing her. Why was she even around? Shaking her head, Brittany pulled back stopping in her tracks, which made her girlfriend do the same.

" _Taylor made my life a living hell Santana_." Brittany began. " _It started with just teasing but when she realized I never spoke up, she used that to her advantage. She then found out about my haphephobia and used that too. She bullied me for fun because she knew I could never do anything about it. She even found out about my brother being dead and teased me about that. She is a horrible person and I don't want you to retaliate. Protect me? Sure. But don't go after her. You are better than that girl_."

"I've never seen you so angry." Santana said in shock.

" _Please Santana. She's not worth it, so leave her be. I can tell you are thinking about going after her_."

Santana bit her lip nodding before sighing in defeat. "She hurt you! She bullied you and picked on you making you feel like crap. You're perfect and you don't deserve what she did! How can someone even pick on someone who is beautiful in every way like you? I don't get it!"

" _And you know why that is?_ " Brittany asked with a small smile moving the back of her fingers gently down the Latina's cheek. " _Because you are a better person than she is. Taylor doesn't care, San, but you do which just instantly shows how different you both are. She wants popularity and shows it through her actions. You, however, care more about others than any other person I've met_."

Santana smiled at Brittany's words leaning in kissing her softly before pulling back taking her hand.

"Looks like I'm dating a genius."

Brittany shrugged her shoulders giving her a playful smile. " _Of course you are. Now are we actually going to the movies or are we going to stand around talking about someone I really don't care for?_ "

Chuckling , Santana nodded her head finally walking down the street with Brittany's hand in her own making their way to the movies. After all, where else can you pretend to watch a movie whilst actually kissing your girlfriend?

xxxxxxxxxx

Brittany had been worrying about what Taylor said since their unfortunate meeting with Santana earlier on that day. Yes, she had told Santana not to go after her because Santana is better than that. Better than her altogether. Taylor was a horrible person who shouldn't even be around Lima. Brittany wasn't even sure why she was so far from where she lived and that was the suspicious part. She knew for a fact she loved West Lima so why was she in the North part of it? Shaking her head Brittany let herself lay back onto the bed. Santana was currently sleeping since the movie that they finally got to see finished later than expected so after pleading with her mom, she was allowed to stay. Plus it wasn't as though they did much anyway since their relationship was still quite new.

The door creaked open and she saw her mother pop her head around the door. The past few days they had figured out a way to talk that made it possible to have a conversation. Yes, it was only Brittany writing on a white board but for now it was a start.

"Hey honey. Are you both okay?"

Brittany smiled nodding her head getting the whiteboard from her draw writing a response before holding it up. Brittany's writing wasn't the best of course due to her dyslexia, it really wasn't, but she tried her best to spell out what she was trying to say.

" _We're good. Santana fell asleep about ten minutes ago, but I'm not feeling tired yet._ "

Brittany watched her walk in and sit on the edge of the bed. She really wished she could hug her mother. She wanted more than anything to be able to embrace her and feel her hug back but she knew it was only early stages and Santana was literally the only one she could touch. Plus, she still felt that the relationship with her parents was rocky and she needed to be able to trust them completely. To feel that she could just open up to them but she couldn't. Not yet.

"You know I love you, don't you?" Brittany nodded her head in response. "I do. I love you so much and I know things haven't been easy for this family but your father and I...we're trying. We really are. It's just so hard because all I want is to hug my little girl again, but I can't because she's got a fear of touching. But we are trying our best."

Brittany looked at her mother. She knew about the frustration but she couldn't imagine not being able to touch your own child because they are scared to be touched. To have that physical connection that most parents have. She really wants to make her mom feel better but what was she supposed to say? 'Sorry I don't trust you enough to touch you?' Brittany wasn't sure what she was supposed to say and she knew actions usually spoke louder than words but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She wanted to reach over and embrace her mom so bad, but she couldn't. She felt as though there was a brick wall between them and she wasn't strong enough to knock it down. She wasn't tall enough to climb it to reach her. The only thing she could do was write.

" _I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you imagined, but I'm trying too. I even go to therapy in hopes I'll get better._ " Brittany explains with a sigh. " _But I do hope that one day we can have hugs again and be able to have a real conversation_."

Susan smiled at her daughter before nodding making her way towards the door. Brittany watched her turn back in her direction to see her holding the white board up with something else written on it. She knew talking to Santana about this was just not possible without potentially embarrassing herself but she was sure her mother would understand. She had probably been through it before.

" _What does being in love feel like?_ " Brittany asked biting her lip nervously.

Raising her eyebrow, Susan walked to the bed and sat down again. "Well it feels different for every person, sweetheart. I'll try and explain using your father and I as an example. When I'm with your father, I love everything about him. We both know your father is a little crazy, but I'd rather have his craziness than have him any different. I love how every morning he makes me a cup of tea with extra sugar, because he knows I don't like coffee really early in the day. When he is going to be home late, he always texts me to tell me just so I know and I don't start worrying, like I do a lot. Brittany, love isn't really something you can explain. You feel it when you around that person."

Biting her lip, Brittany nods her head in response. She glanced at her girlfriend before writing on the white board again. After listening to what her mother said, she knew they all sounded familiar. Things she might have felt at one time or another. It wasn't the first time she had this suspicion. However, it was the first time she had properly thought about it. She was just trying to understand what she was feeling.

" _I think I might be falling in love with Santana._ "

"Well, how do you feel when you are around her?" Susan asks which made Brittany smile instantly. What didn't she feel around Santana? She knew her hand was going to hurt after this but it would totally be worth it. She could write a book about Santana if she was asked.

" _Well, she's been there for me since we met. She never judges me and has never once made fun of me for the way I am. She accepts me. My heart pounds around her but then it slows down because it knows that I don't need to be nervous around her. She relaxes me_." Brittany explained showing her mother before erasing it and writing some more. " _She makes me laugh, smile. happy and protects me too. She's my best friend but she's also the person that I love to be around all the time. I see fireworks when we kiss and she never rushes me into getting me to talk. I don't even need to be around her to feel like her girlfriend. We can just lay there together and be ourselves. She's my favorite person and I just want to be around her constantly. I want to know everything about her, even if it is bad_."

Susan nodded her head after reading it all before smiling at her daughter. "That's a lot of things, Brittany."

Brittany nodded before starting to write again. " _I want her to be happy even if it means I won't be. When she doesn't think she's perfect I always will because, to me, she is. I love her smile, her laugh, the way she always shows her softer side to me even though at school she acts completely different. I love that she knows me and she's into exercise as much as I am. She's basically perfect for me. I think I'm starting to fall in love with her, but that scares me_."

"Honey, falling in love is scary." Susan states honestly. "When you love someone you are allowing them to be close to you and allowing them to see you vulnerable and that is the scary thing. But, you haven't been dating long. Are you sure?"

" _We may have not been together long but we have known each other longer. I'm not even sure I do which is why I asked you. I'm no expert on the subject, of course, but you have loved dad for years. You definitely know more than I do_."

Pressing her lips together in thought, Susan finally nodded her head in understanding . "You have a point. It actually doesn't matter how long you have known the person. All that matters is whether they make you happy or not, and Santana seems to do that."

" _She does_." Brittany wrote with a smile. " _She_ _makes me really happy, mom._ "

"Then you know your answer. If you feel that you love her, then you don't need me to tell you otherwise." Susan explained before standing up walking to the door before glancing back at Brittany. "You'll know when you fall in love and by the looks of it, you already do. "

Brittany watched her mother walk out. She had given her a lot to think about actually but right now wasn't the time for it. She looked at the time and noticed it was midnight. It was the weekend so it didn't particularly matter too much. Brittany turned onto her side putting her hand onto Santana's arm moving her hand up and down her bare arm. She smiled when she saw Santana's move onto her back groggily opening her eyes rubbing one of them.

"What time is it?" Santana mumbled before yawning.

" _It's midnight. Go back to sleep_." Brittany said softly before kissing her head. " _It's still early._ "

Santana nodded her head turning back onto her side. Brittany couldn't help herself and scooted forward wrapping her arm around Santana pulling her body against hers. She was still used to the whole bodily contact thing but she was working on it. It was pretty nice having Santana against her actually. She smiled when she felt Santana entwine their fingers holding their hands close to her. Brittany rested her head on the pillow before closing her eyes starting to fall asleep. She could honestly start to get used to this. She was just about to finally fall asleep when she heard a phone ring. She sat up to see if it was her phone and, lucky for her, it wasn't. She laid back down nudging Santana handing her the phone who sat up.

"Why do you do this to me?" Santana asked looking at Brittany who shrugged.

" _Your phone. I'm not listening to it ring when I am trying to sleep_." Brittany said letting her hands finally rest, tucking one under her pillow. She had actually not realized how tired she was until now.

"Now you're tired?" Santana laughed before rejecting the call laying back down pulling Brittany into her. "Night Britt-Britt."

Brittany would respond but she was always three quarters of the way towards dream land and she didn't want to stop so she just nodded her head and let herself drift off. She could talk to Santana in the morning.

xxxxxxxxxx

"So she actually spoke to you last night?"

Brittany was leant against the couch alongside Rachel having one of their girly days. The both of them had sent their girlfriends off to spend the day together so the pair of them could catch up. Yes, they could have with them in the room but it would have been distracting. The blonde nodded her head putting a grape into her mouth.

" _She said that the both of them are trying and they're telling the truth too. I've got a whiteboard in my room that I can write on when I'm talking to them. It's not sign language, but it' a start. Mom even knows what 'I love you' is in sign language, which is impressive._ " Brittany explained with a smile." _My relationship with them is improving_."

"I'm happy for you, Britt." Rachel responded honestly. "How are things with you and Santana?"

" _Better than ever. We do everything that I thought I would only imagine. We hold hands, cuddle, kiss and, my favorite, she holds me from behind when we're looking at something. She's the best girlfriend I could ask for. Things aren't perfect of course, but that doesn't make it anything less than amazing_." Brittany explained before turning to her best friend. " _But enough about me. How are you and Quinn?_ "

Rachel bit her lip nervously which Brittany picked upon. She did it a lot when she was worried about what she was supposed to say or when she was around Santana. But Rachel wasn't around Quinn which meant that she was nervous. The blonde looked at her friend with concern and waited for her to talk. She knew that was what she would want if she was nervous to say something.

"Well Quinn and I are...well...kind of on a break right now."Rachel finally admitted quietly looking at her fingers. "It was my doing though. I'm the one who wanted the break."

" _But why? You two are so awesome! Like two unicorns travelling over a giant rainbow together_."

Sighing, Rachel shook her head. "I thought we were but it turns out...we weren't."

" _What happened?_ " Brittany asked curiously. " _Is everything okay?_ "

"Quinn cheated on me."

Brittany was speechless. How could someone do that to the person they claim to love? Brittany forgot all about her fear. even though in the back of her mind she was terrified, and wrapped her best friend up in her arms for the first time in years. Her body wanted to pull away so bad, but she had to get through this. Rachel needed her and she was not about to pull away. She began to hear her best friend sobbing and it killed her. Rachel had always been so strong and now here she was in tears because the girl who claimed to be in love with her went off with someone else. She could totally slap Quinn right now.

The pair of them just sat there together with Rachel crying into Brittany's chest. So many questions were going through the blonde's mind. Why? What could possess a person to cheat? Who did she cheat on her with? What was going on in their relationship that caused Quinn to do such a thing? Did Santana know about this? She moved her hand up and down Rachel's back before the brunette pulled away wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this." Rachel mumbled wiping her eyes upset. "I don't usually get like this."

" _Don't be ashamed of crying. What happened exactly?_ "

Rachel was about to respond when the door opened and in walked Quinn and Santana. Brittany was ecstatic to see Santana. Quinn on the other hand.

"Sorry, I forgot my purse." Quinn mumbled going towards the kitchen but Brittany stood up.

"Britt, just leave it." Rachel pleaded, which made Santana look at them both questioningly whilst she waited for Quinn.

Brittany looked down at her friend shaking her head. " _No. She needs to know what she did was wrong! No one hurts my precious unicorn!_ "

The room went silent when Quinn walked back into the room. She was giving Rachel a guilty look who was now looking at the floor as though to find something interesting about it. Brittany was furious and she didn't get angry often. She was against violence but she could easily hurt Quinn for hurting her best friend. Why would she do this to her? Why would Quinn even think about cheating on her girlfriend? No one hurts her friends.

" _Why did you do it?_ " Brittany asked glaring at the other blonde in the room.

Quinn looked at Brittany in surprise. She knew. "Britt..."

" _Don't call me Britt. My friends call me Britt and you are not my friend. How could you?!_ " Brittany asked signing angrily at Quinn who was just trying to keep up with the fast signing. " _Rachel is a wonderful person who you have just broke!_ "

Quinn shook her head. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry I hurt her Brittany. It was a mistake."

Santana looked at everyone in the room completely confused. Okay, seeing her girlfriend angry was totally hot and it definitely turned her on, but it was also confusing. Brittany never got angry, so what could have happened to make her so mad?

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Santana finally asked. "Babe, you are totally rocking the whole angry thing and I'm totally turned on by it, but why are you like this? You never get angry."

Brittany would have been flattered by that but now was not the time to be. She was pissed and it took a lot to get her like this. The last time she had been this angry was when she was grieving for Zack. She must have injured around five kids by pushing them over and what not.

" _Quinn cheated on Rachel!_ "

Santana snapped her head towards Quinn. "You did what? What is wrong with you?!"

"I didn't mean to. I was drunk and-" Quinn stuttered but was cut off by Rachel.

"Don't guys. We've spoken about it and we're just taking a breather from each other before we decide what to do next." Rachel explained rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry Quinn. I didn't mean to tell Brittany. She just asked about us and-"

Brittany interrupted instantly. " _Don't apologize! She cheated on you!_ "

Santana walked over to her girlfriend putting her hands on her shoulders trying to calm her, but Brittany just pushed her arms away glaring at the other blonde in the room. Santana was quite concerned. She had never seen Brittany so angry, aside from the time with Taylor, but even then she had never been this angry. Brittany wasn't just angry. She was fuming with Quinn.

" _How can you even consider giving her a second chance?!_ " Brittany asked turning to Rachel. " _You have never once agreed to cheating and now it's happened to you, you think it's okay because you love each other? How can you even trust her?! No! No, that is not the way it works!"_

Before Brittany could say or do anything else Santana pulled her to the side looking at her giving Rachel and Quinn a look to leave the room which they did. Quite happily as a matter of fact. Brittany tried to pull away but Santana wasn't having it. She walked them over to the chairs and pushed Brittany down to sit in the armchair which she did with her arms folded looking pissed. Well, she looked better than a few seconds ago.

"Okay, you need to calm down. Right now." Santana told her sternly. "I get that you are upset, I am too, but what happened between them is their business and they do not need you getting involved."

" _Quinn cheated on her, San! Rachel would do anything for that girl and she went and broke that trust! Why should I calm down?! She is my best friend and it's my job as her best friend to defend her!_ " Brittany argued before noticing the expression on Santana's face and sighing. " _I just thought Quinn would look after her. Cheating was the last thing I thought Quinn would do. She seemed trustworthy when I met her._ "

Santana knelt down in front of Brittany taking one of her hands kissing her knuckles lovingly. "I agree. Quinn shouldn't have done that. But if we were in their shoes do you really think you'd want Rachel yelling and screaming at me for cheating?"

Sighing, Brittany shook her head. Santana had a point. If one of them had cheated on the other, not that it would happen, she wouldn't want either Quinn or Rachel screaming at them for it. It would just make things more difficult. She knew she shouldn't get involved but she wanted to be there for Rachel and yelling at Quinn was being there for her...right? Brittany sat up looking at her girlfriend with a smile.

" _You are amazing._ "

Santana shook her head kneeling on the floor putting her hands on Brittany's thighs. "No, I believe you already took the amazing spot in this relationship. To add to that you also took the beautiful spot as well as the smart."

Biting her lip, Brittany couldn't help but lean forward grazing her lips over Santana's. How did she make her go from extremely pissed off to calm in a matter of seconds? Was that even possible? Well in their relationship, apparently it was. She officially had the best girlfriend ever.

" _You don't think I'm capable enough to be the cheater?_ " Brittany asked pulling away with a small smirk on her face. _"I mean, I could get something on the side if I wanted._ "

Chuckling Santana looked down before looking up with the smile Brittany knew was reserved for her. She loved that.

"Oh I know you're capable. I'm just lucky that you chose me."

" _I chose you._ " Brittany repeated nodding her head; running her fingers through Santana's hair, signing with her other hand. " _I will always choose you_."

"I will always choose you too."

They both leaned in this time kissing one another until a person behind them cleared their throat. Pulling away they noticed a blushing Rachel. Didn't she leave the room?

"Sorry to interrupt but I didn't know if we were continuing our day or if you wanted to go with Santana." Rachel mumbled looking at the floor. "I could really use some Pieberry time."

Santana raised her eyebrow. "Pieberry?"

Brittany giggled kissing Santana's cheek standing up. " _Pierce and Berry mashed up together, honey. Keep up!_ "

Chuckling, Santana shook her head. "I get it. No girlfriends allowed. I'm going to talk to Quinn about this whole situation." Santana walked up behind Brittany hugging her from behind whispering in her ear. "I want you to cheer her up. Rachel being depressed isn't normal and I don't like it."

Brittany nodded kissing Santana's cheek before pulling away walking with Rachel towards the living room again. No matter how hard she tries, Santana will never understand Brittany completely. She doesn't mind that. She enjoys learning new things about her every day and if she knew everything about the blonde, there would be nothing new to learn. She walked towards Quinn with a cold look.

"You are going to tell me exactly what happened."

With a nod of Quinn's head, they both walked out of the house leaving Brittany and Rachel alone once again to enjoy their day. Quinn and Santana, however, had a lot of talking to do.


	25. Twenty-Five

Santana and Quinn were sat in the park looking over the pond where six or seven ducks were swimming. Santana hadn't said a word to Quinn because she just couldn't believe it. There had to be a reason behind the infidelity or the world just didn't make sense. Santana knew Quinn loved Rachel so what could have possibly happened that could make her best friend do something so idiotic? She had gone through so many scenarios in her head whilst they had made their way here but none of them made sense, and they especially didn't seem logical either. Santana kept her eyes on the ducks swimming in the pond noticing how excited they got when a young girl ran over with some bread to feed them. She was with her father who knelt down helping her so she didn't give the ducks too much at once. Tearing her gaze off of the parent and child Santana finally looked at Quinn who was looking at her hands looking especially guilty, which she should. Cheating was never okay no matter the circumstance.

"Okay so I think you should explain yourself." Santana began as calmly as possible. "I definitely don't condone you hurting Rachel, but I also know you love each other. What possible reason could you have for cheating on her?"

Sighing Quinn looked up. "I was drunk Santana and let's not forget she's cheated on me in the past."

"When that happened, you weren't properly a couple and you know it. You have been together for over a year this time and definitely in a relationship. What happened Quinn?" Santana asked putting her hand on Quinn's hand taking it in her own. "I know you better than anyone and this is definitely not you."

"I know it's not me," Quinn began talking quietly before leaning her head-on Santana's shoulder, "and I couldn't even tell Rachel the real reason because I'm not ready to get into it."

Running her fingers through Quinn's hair, Santana nodded her head in understanding. She knew there was a reason behind it and Quinn practically just proved to her that there was, even though she didn't know what it was yet. Quinn had been there for her through a lot and now it was her turn. Quinn usually went to Rachel since the brunette was her best friend's rock but this time it was different. This was something Quinn felt like she couldn't tell her girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend now. It must be serious.

"Okay, well just tell me then. Rachel isn't here, it's just us."

"I know, it's what makes it easier to tell you." Quinn admitted sitting up looking at her best friend. "My parents are getting separated officially."

Looking at Quinn in shock, Santana leant her arm on the back of the bench. "What? Your parents seemed so solid."

"Exactly, they were always solid which is what made it easier for me to think that Rachel and I would be happy together, but now..."Quinn eased off shaking her head. "Relationships don't last, Santana. Someone always hurts the other person which is why I got drunk and cheated on Rachel. Someone kissed me and I didn't pull away because I knew it was only a matter of time before I hurt her properly."

"Wait. Someone kissed you?" Santana asked for confirmation watching Quinn nod her head. "Oh my god, I thought you went out and cheated on her or something! This is definitely not as bad as I thought, which is a relief."

"I do love her Santana, I'm not an idiot." Quinn responded sighing. "I just now don't believe that someone can love you forever. They give up on you, or get bored. That's why I didn't stop them from kissing me. I knew something bad was bound to happen so why not let it happen now instead of after I had fallen for her even more and could get even more hurt."

Santana looked from Quinn to the pond. "Quinn, why do you think I waited for Brittany to be ready?"

"What?" The blonde asked turning her head to look at her best friend.

"Why do you think I waited for Brittany when I could have gone out and found someone without everything that she had going on?" Santana asked looking back at Quinn. "Why do you think I took the time to help Brittany?"

"Because you began to like her more than a friend."

"There is that, yes, but no." Santana responded giving Quinn a smile. "Brittany isn't just anyone to me, she's more than that. She's everything. When I started to get to know her, I knew that she was worth it. I knew that I would rather make the effort, try and have it hard with her than have it easy with someone else that I would probably like for about a month before getting bored. The best relationships you have in life aren't the easiest ones. They are the ones where you need to make a choice whether to have it easy or make the effort. It just depends which you would rather do."

Looking away from Santana, Quinn looked back down at her lap. "Santana, what are you trying to say exactly?"

"I'm trying to say that sometimes the best relationships require work." Santana explained lifting her best friend's head. "You can't expect a perfect relationship, we're not in a fairytale. If Rachel is worth it to you then work at it. Yes, your parents relationship didn't work out in the end, but I can guarantee they worked at it every day. Wouldn't you rather have that love now than stay single and always wonder what could have happened?"

"I don't want to end up hurting her worse in the future. She deserves everything." Quinn said sighing.

"No, Quinn. What Rachel deserves is you and deep down you know it too."

Quinn nodded her head before the both of them sat in silence together whilst she pondered over what was just said. She knew Santana was right, of course she did, but she was just having a hard time believing it. She knew talking to Rachel would help but she wasn't sure she was ready for that either.

"I know you're right, Santana."

"Of course I'm right, Quinn." Santana said smirking. "I'm always right. But the question you really need to be asking yourself is, what are you going to do about it?"

Nodding her head, Quinn looked at the pond where the ducks were swimming around together before turning her head to look at Santana.

"Well I guess we need to get back to Rachel's house so I can talk to her and explain."

Santana smiled before getting up holding her hand out helping Quinn up. "Then let's get going."

The both of them were about to go before Quinn put her hand on Santana's chest stopping her from walking. Santana fused her eyebrows together in confusion trying to figure out the reason behind them stopping at a halt. She looked around as though the reason was around them but with nothing there she had no idea why they had stopped. Unless Quinn had changed her mind...

"Don't tell me you have changed your mind, Quinn." Santana said with a sigh folding her arms looking at her best friend. "You have to-"

"We aren't stopping because I've changed my mind, Santana. We have a subject we need to address."

Raising her eyebrow, the Latina looked at Quinn in confusion. "And what matter could we possibly need to address at this second?"

"The fact that you are in love with Brittany Pierce."

Santana's eyes widened. How could she possibly know that? Heck, she didn't even know if she loved Brittany or not. Yes, she cared about Brittany deeply but since when did that mean she loved her? Yes, Brittany was funny, kind, caring, a great dancer, had the best personality she had ever met, a great kisser, gave the best hugs in the world and let's not forget that her eyes were such a beautiful ocean blue she could look into them for ages, however, since when did that mean that she was in love with her?

"I am not in love with Brittany." Santana mumbled folding her arms. "I like her, yes, but that doesn't mean I love her."

Quinn smirked. "Who is the first person you think of when you wake up?"

"Brittany."

"Okay, and who is the last person you think of when you go to bed at night?" Quinn asked, even though she knew the answer already. She just wanted Santana to finally admit it.

"Brittany. What are these questions even about?" Santana asked

"Do you think long term?"

Santana sighed in frustration. "Yes, of course I think long term because Brittany is the one thing this year that has made every day going to school so much easier. Everything is easier because she is right there beside me. I don't get why you are talking about Brittany and I when we have to fix you and Rachel."

Quinn smiled before nodding her head. "Okay, you're right. Let's get back and fix things."

xxxxxxxxxx

"You know I've actually really missed this."

Rachel and Brittany were sat watching The L Word eating popcorn together as well as a majority of other drinks and snacks. Since they were young they had always enjoyed their best friend time together and since Rachel was having a terrible time with what happened with Quinn, Brittany wanted to make sure they did everything Rachel loved doing. She had even tried to not bring anything couple related into it but, obviously, there were couples in TV shows so she couldn't eliminate everything.

"I've missed this too, Rachel. I'm glad that even after all we've been through we are still best friends."

Rachel nodded in agreement. "I'm glad we are too. You are a lot better off now than you were when you first moved schools and I am so proud of you."

Brittany smiled looking at her best friend before pulling Rachel in for a hug. She chuckled when she heard Rachel gasp in surprise and she didn't blame her. She was in shock herself but recently it was as though she wasn't as scared anymore. Yes, something bad in the past happened to her brother and she would never forget that, however, life does move on and recently she has only come to terms with it. If Zack was the one who was still alive she would want him to continue living so maybe it was about time she did. Brittany smiled at her accomplishment before pulling away seeing the shocked look on Rachel's face before she was pulled back in for another hug. It was about time she started hugging her best friend again.

"God, I have missed this so much, Brittany." Rachel cried before actually bursting into tears; crying into her chest whilst she stroked her hair. Brittany knew Rachel had waited to do this for so long and now Brittany was so happy she could actually comfort her friends again. She wanted to be a better friend so now maybe she could be. Pulling away Brittany wiped Rachel's tears away.

"You will be okay, Rachel." Brittany assured the brunette with a smile. "You are a strong person and even though things are bad now they won't stay bad forever. They will get better."

Nodding her head, Rachel wiped her tears away. "I know I just...why would she do this?"

"You cheated on her though." Brittany reminded her friend who tensed at the mention of it. Crap, she must have forgotten that part. "I'm guessing you forgot that part."

"We weren't even properly together when I did that. I mean we were seeing each other I guess but we weren't dating or anything like that."

"That doesn't make it okay. Quinn is clearly going through something right now." Brittany said.

Rachel looked at her in surprise. "No less than an hour ago, you were yelling at her for cheating on me and let's not forget me for defending her. Now here you are defending her actions yourself."

Sighing Brittany nodded in agreement. It was true, she was now defending Quinn's actions but after calming down it allowed her to think logically and there was no way Quinn would cheat on her best friend without a logical reason. Heck, it might not even be that big of a deal since she highly doubted Quinn went out and slept with someone else.

"I know but I've gotten to know Quinn and she really does love you. Something must be going on that made her do something like that."

Rachel sighed in frustration. Brittany was her best friend meaning she was supposed to be on her side of things but there she was defending her ex-girlfriend. That definitely couldn't be right. She rolled her eyes looking back at the TV before deciding to stand up from the sofa completely. A drink of water might help her.

"Where are you going?" Brittany sighed to her standing up too.

Turning to face Brittany, Rachel had a look of annoyance upon her face. "You do realize as my best friend it is your job to be on my side, right?"

"Of course, I know that, Rachel. I will always be on your side!" Brittany responded defending herself.

"Then be on my side instead of defending her!" Rachel snapped before walking out of the room. Brittany sighed before sitting down again looking at the TV.

"Knowing her is so hard sometimes." Brittany mumbled out loud to herself without realizing shaking her head.

Brittany was just about to get up when she felt hands on her shoulders pulling her back against the couch and soft lips against hers. She couldn't help but smile knowing exactly who that was before moving a hand to the back of her girlfriend's neck kissing the girl back.

"Guys get a room at least." Quinn groaned before sitting in the armchair. "Where's Rachel?"

Shrugging Brittany moved kneeling on the couch wrapping her arms around Santana's neck kissing her deeper pulling as close as she could with the couch in the way. She shivered when she felt Santana's fingers go up and down her spine with a feeling she had never felt before. Arousal, was it? She had never been turned on by another person before. She smiled into the kiss before pulling away to look at her gorgeous girlfriend. Yeah, she was pretty lucky.

"What?" Santana asked with a shy smile on her face.

Brittany smiled back. "I'm the luckiest person alive to have a girlfriend like you."

Santana's eyes widened as did Quinn's. Brittany looked at the both of them confused not realizing, yet again, what she had just done. It was as though all the anxiety she had felt had just disappeared and her voice didn't want to be hidden anymore. Brittany didn't realize she had just spoken for the second time, but it was as though it was natural like it was for anyone else. Was she actually better now? Brittany knew she still had a while to go yet.

"Say that again." Santana requested looking at her with a grin upon her face.

Brittany raised her eyebrow at Santana in confusion. "What? That I'm the luckiest person alive to have you as a girlfriend? Were you not looking at my hands the first time? Because that is kind of rude, baby."

Santana's face lit up again when she heard Brittany's voice. She had never heard it before and even though she had imagined what she sounded like it could never beat the real thing. She had the most angelic voice she had ever heard. It was soft, warm and sexy all at the same time. Did Brittany not realize she was speaking?

"Honey, look at your hands when you speak. This is you. You are actually speaking out loud for the first time in so long!" Santana exclaimed holding Brittany's wrists in excitement.

Shaking her head Brittany decided to test it out. "Okay I guess I can look at my hands as I speak to you, however..." Brittany faded off when she saw her hands weren't in fact moving. Santana was holding them gently in her hands and she had been speaking with her voice. How could she not have realized?

Before Brittany could stop herself, she took hold of Santana's jacket pulling her into a passionate kiss. She had never been so thankful to have someone in her life that had helped her as much as Santana had. She could now touch others and her voice had come out of hiding. She felt tears on her face and even though she couldn't tell if they were hers or Santana's, it didn't matter. She moved her lips along with Santana's deepening the kiss sliding her tongue into her girlfriend's mouth moving it with hers. She never wanted to let this girl go; she would definitely make sure this relationship went the distance.

"Guys, you aren't alone in here so pack it in." Rachel said when she saw what was going on in the living room.

Quinn sighed shaking her head. "There's no point, they'll be like that for ages. Brittany just spoke for the first time in years and apparently, the only way to celebrate is to make out with one another."

"What?" Rachel asked looking at her ex-girlfriend in shock. "Brittany spoke?"

Nodding her head, Quinn smiled. "Yeah, she did. For some reason, she didn't realize though. It was as though her voice escaped the cage it had been in for years and it didn't want to be hidden any longer. She really does have a lovely voice."

Folding her arms watching her best friend celebrate with her girlfriend, Rachel smiled. "Santana really has made her better. All this progress in a few months should be impossible, but somehow Brittany managed it."

"Yeah. She really did." Quinn agreed nodding her head. "Well I don't particularly want to sit here watching them make out, so did you wanna go somewhere and talk? I want to explain myself and yes there is an actual reason behind what I did."

Rachel looked down at her girlfriend before nodding her head. "Whatever you say won't change the fact that you cheated but so did I in the past so it counteracts itself anyway. I love you and nothing will change that."

Smiling, Quinn nods her head. "I know but it was still wrong."

"Then let's talk."

xxxxxxxxxx

The sun was setting in Ohio; Brittany and Santana had decided to take a walk through the park before it got too dark. It had been an amazing afternoon for the both of them. They had the longest conversation either of them had ever had in their lives just talking about anything. They just wanted to talk for hours without any interruption, so that's what they decided to do. Of course, they both had the fear that this talking Brittany was only temporary, however, they said that about her not being able to touch other people and she did that with Rachel earlier on that day so who knew? Did they really want to know? No. They were going to enjoy it whilst it lasted whether it was temporary or permanent.

"You have a beautiful voice." Santana said resting her head against Brittany's arm whilst they walked. "Have I mentioned that?"

Brittany chuckled. "Only about five or six times. It's okay, I like hearing it."

"I just can't believe what kind of day this has been. I've been imagining this day for a long time and now it's here I don't know what to do with myself." Santana responded with a contented sigh.

"Me too." Brittany whispered looking down at her girlfriend before stopping and turning to look at Santana. "If this doesn't last though...you will still want to be with me, right?"

"Well I certainly didn't fall for you because of your voice, Britt." Santana reminded her with a chuckle which made Brittany nod her head in response. "Look, even if this day is only going to happen today, then so be it. I will still want to be with you whether you are mute, blind, deaf, heck I'm pretty sure I'd still want to be with you even if you were insane."

Brittany raised her eyebrow with a smirk on her face. "In a crazy house and everything?"

"With a straitjacket."

The blonde nodded her head, putting her hands in her pockets biting her lip struggling to contain the smile. "I think I'd look pretty good in one of them."

"You would look better than good. You'd look hot." Santana corrected her pulling her girlfriend towards her. "Do you feel better now?"

"I do feel a bit better but a kiss might make me feel a lot better." Brittany said with a small smile.

Santana laughed before kissing her softly. "Don't you want to go and talk to your parents, babe?"

The blonde's body stiffened. "I don't know if I want to go and talk to them just yet. They'll be so happy that I've been talking but what if it doesn't last? They'll stop trying again and it'll go back to the way it was before."

"You don't know that." Santana said trying to sympathize.

"I know I don't but neither do you. I could wake up and have the ability to talk taken just as quickly. Just because I can talk today and feel happy about it doesn't mean it'll happen for the rest of my life."

Santana didn't know what to say. Sure, she was happy that her girlfriend was able to talk today but maybe Brittany was right. Maybe this wouldn't last forever and they would go back to signing to each other once again. It wouldn't be the end of the world or anything but still. She liked being able to talk face to face with her girlfriend; sitting and hearing her voice was the best thing she had experienced. If she was being honest, Brittany was her first ever girlfriend. Yes, she had slept with girls before but never dated any. It actually made her nervous even thinking about dating anyone but for some reason Brittany made her feel calm. Content. She made her feel like she could do anything and she had never felt that way about any other person before. Was it scary? Yes. But it just made Santana want to try with Brittany even more.

"I'm going to come with you to tell your parents."

Brittany pulled back and sighed. "Santana, you just aren't hearing me. I said-"

Santana put her hand up to stop the blonde. "I heard what you said and I'm telling you I'm coming with you to tell your parents. If we don't go now, you won't ever tell them because you're too scared that they'll give up trying if this is permanent."

"That is literally what I said but that doesn't have anything to do with-"

"Yes, it does." Santana butted in. "You have to tell them because they are your parents and they love you to pieces. I have heard the way your mother talks about you and she adores you, Brittany. You are telling your parents. They deserve to see this miracle as much as me or Rachel. As a matter of fact, they deserve to see this way more than Rachel and I."

Sighing Brittany nodded knowing her girlfriend was right. Santana made good points and she believed them too. Her parents had lived their whole lives trying to help her after Zack died without any thought to themselves and how they would grieve and now since she was talking again she should go and tell her parents about it. She knew they would be extremely happy about it, but she was worried that would be all they were excited about. That she could talk and be 'normal' again. She didn't want to think that way but what other way was she meant to think? Her relationship with her parents hadn't exactly been the best over the years.

"Fine, we'll go and see my parents." Brittany sighed again, giving into her girlfriend's points. "But we aren't staying long."

"That's completely fine by me." Santana spoke grinning before pecking Brittany on the lips happily. "You won't regret it, baby, I swear."

Brittany gave her girlfriend an amused look before folding her arms. "You didn't think that was it, did you? That you got what you wanted and you won? No, that isn't the way it works."

Looking at her girlfriend, Santana knew she had something planned and that kind of scared her a little. "What do you want exactly? Kisses? Dates? Hugs? Make out sessions?"

"I get those as your girlfriend anyway." Brittany responded with a laugh pulling Santana against her. "No, I want to meet your parents."

Whoa okay, that was unexpected. Santana knew this would happen at some point, but right now? No, she did not want them going over and her parents embarrassing her, which they would. They had a million baby pictures of her and a lot of embarrassing stories. She didn't want that happening.

"Maybe we could go another time? Like, you know, in five years’ time?" Santana suggested with a smile. "Yeah, that sounds perfect because you will know everything about me by that point and I can't get embarrassed because you'll already know everything. A very good plan, if I do say so myself."

Brittany couldn't help but giggle at the way Santana was acting. It was clear that she didn't want to be embarrassed by her parents since she was her girlfriend after all but don't all parents embarrass their kids? It was a fact of life pretty much but it was a lovely sentiment that Santana believed they would be together five years from now. It actually made her whole body warm up.

"I'm your girlfriend so yes, I might be shown some baby pictures and told embarrassing stories about you, but at some point, in our lives I will know everything embarrassing about you anyway. We've known each other for months and I've not once met your parents so, as your girlfriend, I want to meet them." Brittany explained brushing hair out of Santana's face before kissing her cheek. "We don't need to be there any longer than an hour."

"Britt...I don't know..."

Brittany wasn't usually a bond person, as a matter of fact she was never a bold person due to her mutism throughout the years, but today was different. Just by talking Brittany had a new-found confidence within herself. She liked it very much actually which was why she really hoped this was permanent. She didn't feel scared anymore; she knew her brother was watching over her and would want this for her so why shouldn't she be enjoying the life she had? She had a beautiful girlfriend, great friends and a family that...well that needs improvement obviously, but still. An idea popped into Brittany's head making her smirk. She moved her arms around Santana's waist resting them on her lower back before kissing her a soft kiss. Hard enough for her to feel it but soft enough to make Santana want more. Her lips travelled to her cheek before beginning a trail of kisses towards her ear. She smiled when she felt Santana shiver against her. Opening her eyes, she saw a woman looking at the both of them but all it did was make her smirk before stopping at Santana's ear to whisper into it.

"Earlier when you came to Rachel's with Quinn and we kissed you turned me on so much."

She felt Santana's grip on her arms tighten. "It did?"

"Oh yeah. The more we kissed, the wetter I got." Brittany continued tracing her lips over Santana's ear hearing the change in Santana's breathing. "I can continue and then pull away once you're all worked up or you can just say yes to going to your parents and I'll stop."

"Okay! Okay, we can go." Santana breathed pulling back from Brittany hitting her in the chest. "That was an awful way to convince me."

Brittany laughed kissing Santana's cheek. " I knew you would say yes."

"Where did that come from?" Santana asked running her fingers through her hair. "I have never once even seen you interested in dirty talk."

Shrugging, Brittany didn't have a clue. She didn't even mean to talk dirty, it just came out. To be fair as a mute you don't have a lot of opportunity to talk dirty but since being with Santana, she had looked up dirty talk in hope that one day she could use it. Clearly, she had done well with what she had read.

"I haven't spoken in years, baby. I haven't had the chance to use it until today. It gives me ideas for the future though." Brittany teased winking at the Latina. "So, my house then yours?"

Santana laughed before nodding her head. "What other choice do I have?"

"Well you have as many choices as you want. We could go back to mine, cuddle in bed for a bit until my parents get home, then tell them before going round to yours." Brittany suggested taking Santana's hand whilst they began walking again. "Or we can go straight to your house, talk to your parents for a bit then go to mine. Or we could even go back to mine to hang out and wait until tomorrow to deal with our parents. Maybe we could even-"

Santana threw her hand over Brittany's mouth, laughing. "Okay, I get it sweetie. I have a lot of choices. I say we go back to yours to hang out before your parents come home."

"Then go to your parents."

Sighing Santana nodded removing her hand from Brittany's mouth. "Then we go to my parents, yes."

So, it's sorted. We can go make out in my room." Brittany teased winking before making their way towards her house.

Santana chuckled before nodding her head. "Yeah, why not? We can even stick a movie on in the background so if your parents hear us they'll think we're just watching a movie."

"I'm dating a genius!"

Shaking her head, Santana smiled leaning her head against Brittany's shoulder. "No. I'm the one dating a genius."

Brittany beamed without realizing whilst they continued to walk. Santana sure did know how to make a girl feel better about herself. She was definitely a lucky girl to be the girlfriend of Santana Lopez.


	26. Twenty-Six

Standing in front of her parents with Santana beside her made her speechless. She knew this would be difficult but she could never have predicted the difficulty until this very moment. Brittany had hoped that when they got back that she would have had a few hours with Santana but when they walked in to see her parents sitting on the couch it made things more difficult. She knew it was best to do this now rather than later. She had so much she wanted to say to them but why was it now she was stood in the doorway all she wanted to do was run. She was terrified. She didn't want to go through all the same emotions again. Maybe it was best that they didn't know. She could just go back to signing with them and using the white board, but that wasn't practical. She took Santana's hand entwining their fingers together with her eyes on her parents. They were sat watching some cooking show they both loved which probably mean they would be in a good mood. Damn, she was acting like she had gotten arrested or something when all she wanted to do was talk to them. That had been all she wanted for so long and now the moment was here she just...couldn't. It was as though her voice was trapped again and she hoped it wasn't permanent. She took a deep breath before closing the door.

"Brittany?" Her mother spoke up turning her head around before smiling. "Hey sweetheart. Santana! What a delight to see you too."

"Hi Mrs Pierce." Santana responded holding her hand out for the woman to take who chuckled before pulling her into a hug surprising the Latina. "It's nice to see you again." She added once the hug had finished.

Susan smiled. "It's lovely to see you too. Going up to Brittany's room? Can I get either of you anything? Tea? Coffee? Water?"

Brittany shook her head in response whereas Santana took the opposite approach asking for a glass of water. When Susan went into the kitchen Brittany turned to her girlfriend smiling before kissing her softly and stroking her cheek making Santana shiver a little. The blonde just had that kind of effect on her. The both of them went to sit on the arm chair with Brittany in the actual armchair with Santana sitting on her lap with her legs over the arm of the chair. It wasn't long until the older female Pierce came back handing Santana a glass of water before joining her husband on the couch. Brittany wrapped an arm around her girlfriend with her hand resting on her leg whilst Santana made the decision to lean her body into her girlfriend's, wrapping her arm around Brittany's shoulders.

"How was your day, girls? Anything exciting happen?" Pierce asked the two girls looking away from the TV.

Brittany bit her lip looking at Santana who gave her an encouraging smile. Brittany took a deep breath nodding her head looking at her parents with a smile. "I – um - my voice came out today."

The look on her parents faces made Brittany smile once again. The look of joy on their faces was something she hadn't seen Zack was alive and that, in itself, was a reason to make her smile. She had always thought she was disappointing them by being the person that she was but at the end of the day she couldn't just change who she was overnight. It had taken months of work and years of being afraid before she could even think about wanting help and now she was at this point she was proud. She had made it this far and even if this was only for today she had gotten this far She made it to the point where she was comfortable talking amongst other people even if it was only the people she cared most about. She hadn't tried talking in school just yet so she may not be able to but it was a start.

"When...When did this happen?" Susan asked in shock at hearing her daughter talk for the first time since she was a young girl. Her eyes had even began to water at how happy she was. "Was this just today or...have you spoken before today?"

Brittany shook her head. "No, which is why I want to warn you that this could be just for today. I may not be able to talk tomorrow so I don't want you getting your hopes up to anything."

Watching her parents happy was one thing but getting their hopes up on something they wished was permanent wasn't something she was willing to do. She watched the both of them talk amongst themselves which left her to go deep into her own thoughts. What would happen if it wasn't permanent? Would she disappoint her parents once again? Surprisingly, Brittany felt lips on her own and fingers running through her hair slightly before tracing down the side of her face. The blonde's eyes fluttered closed and when they opened again she was met with a pair of brown eyes she had grown to love over the past few months.

"Hey there." Santana whispered against her lips before pulling back a little more.

"Hi." Brittany whispered in return, tracing her fingertips up the side of Santana's body. "That was a nice surprise."

"I couldn't help myself you just looked adorable." Santana said, chuckling. "It was totally selfish really."

"You can do that anytime."

Susan and Pierce looked at their daughter and smiled. Seeing Brittany with an actual girl wasn't something surprising to them. They would never tell her but they had actually seen her kiss Rachel at a sleepover when they were younger. The two girls said it was only practice, but they both knew it wasn't. To see the way their daughter's eyes lit up around Santana was something they had wished for all their lives. Once Zack was gone the light went from Brittany and turned dark but Santana had somehow managed to bring it out of her again and they could never be more grateful for someone to enter Brittany's life and give her that light back. She deserved it more than anyone.

"We aren't going to give up, you know."

Brittany turned to look at her mother. "Excuse me?"

"Your mother is right, honey." Her father said with a smile. "We won't give up on you ever again. Even though you are talking we are going to continue taking the sign language classes just in case you fall back into the mutism again. We screwed up once but we won't for a second time."

Brittany narrowed her eyes upon her parents. "Promise me. And don't just say you promise because it's easy to do that. For years, our relationship was broken because neither of you tried. You just gave up because I wasn't responsive. Who does that to their own child? You both gave up on me when I needed you the most."

"We promise." The two adults promised simultaneously.

"Honey, we never meant to give up on you." Pierce began looking at his daughter with a guilty look upon his face. "We tried everything to get you to talk and then when you just continued to be miserable we had no idea what to do. We couldn't just bring Zack back and it was so hard because you actually saw him on the floor bleeding the say he got killed. But there is something you don't know that we kept from you."

"What's that?" Brittany asked curiously.

"We hired an investigator to track down who it was because a lot of kids were going missing around that time and they actually found who it was." Susan said with a smile before going into a drawer handing Brittany an article. "It explains everything in there."

Looking at the article Brittany saw a man who she remembered was local at the time on the front page. It read; 'LOCAL MAN KIDNAPPED AND KILLED OVER 20 KIDS". So, that opened up even more questions. Had Zack left the house that night to go to this man's house? She would have to read this article and at some point, go and see this man in prison. She was not about to let this guy live without giving him a piece of her mind. She folded the paper up putting it on the side.

"You know, being mute as well as having the issue of not wanting others to touch you was extremely difficult. " Brittany began looking at her parents, tearing her eyes away from the article. "I struggled every single day and it's only recently that I finally found the courage to fight it. Going to school, being out in public or even just being around my friends was a very difficult task for me. I was afraid of others touching me, asking me questions I couldn't answer as well as the fear of being bullied. When I transferred, my life got a whole lot better. When I was at the other school I was in fear constantly, and that wasn't good for me. This change was a good choice and I want to thank you for giving me that opportunity because if it didn't happen, I think I would never have got to this point."

"You're welcome. We are glad we could help in some way." Susan responded.

Pierce put his arm around his wife. "We are both very proud of you, Brittany. And if you need any money for the medication just come to us and ask."

"Medication?" Santana questioned looking at her girlfriend. "What medication?"

Brittany bit her lip and nodded. "Thanks dad, I appreciate it."

"You didn't tell Santana?" Susan asked looking from one girl to the other. "I thought you would have mentioned it."

Looking away from her parents, Brittany looked at her girlfriend. "The doctor prescribed me medication, that's all."

"How come you didn't mention it?"

Brittany shrugged. "I didn't think it was necessary."

The tension in the room was thick enough to be sliced through with a knife after the conversation ended. Susan and Pierce excused themselves since they apparently had dinner reservations but Brittany knew it was just so the both of them could talk. Santana had lifted herself off of her lap moving to the couch which wasn't even necessary, but what did she know? It was her decision and Santana was making a big deal out of nothing. She leant her head on her propped-up hand watching the TV which had been left on. It didn't take long before Santana was talking to her again.

"It's a big deal, Brittany." Santana began. "I'm your girlfriend, so don't you think I should know stuff like that?"

"No because you aren't the one taking them." Brittany said in her defense. She just wanted this to be over and done with so they could move past it. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"The big deal is that you should have at least mentioned it to me." Santana argued sitting up looking in her direction. "I thought you trusted me."

Brittany sighed. "Santana, I don't like arguing. Look, I didn't tell you because, in my personal opinion, it was not a big deal, however, if you want me to tell you in the future if I'm taking medication or not then I will. Okay?"

Santana smiled reaching over holding her hand out in which Brittany smiled in return taking her girlfriend's hand.

"You are amazingly wonderful." Brittany said with a smile, standing up whilst pulling Santana up with her in the process before cupping her cheeks. "You got me to talk to my parents, gave me the confidence to be able to touch other people without being scared, and because you pushed me to see a therapist, I'm now able to talk again. I can never repay you, Santana. You have done so much for me."

"I don't want you to repay me, baby. I did all of this because I wanted to so you have no reason to feel like you need to repay me for any of it." Santana responded. "How about we just go upstairs and cuddle for a bit before visiting my parents?"

"That sounds lovely."

The pair of them walked up the stairs to Brittany's room laying on the bed together cuddled up. Since Brittany preferred background noise, she decided to turn the TV on, wrapping her arms around Santana as soon as she had. She loved holding Santana in her arms; the feeling of her soft skin felt amazing against her fingertips. She couldn't help but look down and admire her body without her looking. The way her hair flowed past her shoulders, her legs that just seemed to be never ending as well as the fact that her skin was flawless. Well, Santana herself was flawless so it made sense. For some reason, she couldn't understand all she wanted to do was kiss this girl, feel her body against hers and forget about the world. Was that normal in a relationship? Probably. She always had these feelings inside her head and now she was able to actually do something about it, it made it easier. A hell lot easier actually. Plus, she had begun to get turned on around her the last few times they had been together. If that wasn't a sign that this girl was hot, she didn't know what was. However, it wasn't just Santana's body that Brittany was attracted to, it was everything about her. The smile she gave her when they saw one another, the way she always had to tuck her hair behind her ears when she was studying so it wasn't in her face and when she made a cup of tea or coffee she always had to stir the drink 3 times exactly to make it perfect. There was much more she could name but she would be talking for hours on end.

Brittany moved her hand to tilt Santana's towards hers but before she could even do that she was on her back being drawn into the most passionate kiss she had ever experience. Literally. She didn't have that much experience as it was. Smiling she wrapped her arms around Santana's when the door was pushed open making the girls pull apart. Brittany groaned when she saw her father standing there with a smirk on his face.

"Can we help you at all?" Brittany asked annoyed that their make out session had ended before it even began.

"The door stays open." Pierce instructed folding his arms. "Since you are now able to touch your girlfriend it means you can do other stuff with her and that is, and I will say this again if need be, not happening on my watch. The door stays open when Santana is over. Is that understood?"

Brittany groaned. "Dad just because I can touch Santana it doesn't mean we are going to jump into bed together."

Looking at their position, Pierce raised his eyebrow. "Uh-huh. The door stays open, Brittany."

"But dad-"

"The door stays open."

"But dad you don't get it. I-"

"The. Door. Stays. Open."

Sighing in frustration, Brittany nodded her head finally giving in. "Fine. So, what, I get no privacy with my girlfriend in this house?"

Laughing, Pierce nodded. "Well if you would like to look at the position you are both currently in, then try and give me a reason to give you privacy, then go ahead. Try it."

The two girls looked at one another noticing where they had ended up. One of Santana's hands were currently resting on Brittany's breast and Brittany's hands were on Santana's lower back. The two girls were looking at each other surprised but neither of them looked guilty whatsoever. Brittany pressed her lips together.

"Give me a hand here, babe." Brittany requested. "Why should we be given privacy?"

Santana looked from Brittany to Mr Pierce then back again before shrugging her shoulders. "I got nothing." Santana admitted before lowering her voice a little. "Plus, your dad is kind of glaring at me so I feel as though I should be agreeing with him right now."

Laughing, Brittany looked at her father. "We've got nothing. Door open it is."

"Good. Now if you would like to, Santana, we would love for you to stay for dinner. We know you but we haven't gotten to know you properly."

Smiling, Santana nodded. "I would love to, Mr Pierce."

Pierce smiled back. "Great. I'll see you both in forty-five minutes."

The two girls looked at each other for a few seconds before laughing at what had just happened. Santana rolled off of her girlfriend cuddling into her side. What was the likelihood of that happening to anyone else?

"Weren't we meant to be going to your parents’ house?" Brittany asked raising her eyebrow. "You are not getting out of this."

Moving her hand to rest on her girlfriend's stomach, Santana nodded her head in understanding. "I know but I want to have dinner with your family. Your dad is right; we know of each other but we don't really know one another. I think it's about time we got to know each other, don't you?"

"I guess so, but they already know you." Brittany said. "It's not as though you are strangers."

"I know but it's nice to hear that they want to get to know me." Santana admitted smiling. "They just want to know what kind of person I am."

Brittany couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, they already know what kind of person you are. You never gave up on me and they love you for that."

"I never would give up on you, just like you wouldn't give up on me." Santana said, but not before kissing Brittany softly.

Brittany nodded her head in agreement. "Awesome."

"So now let's finish this movie, whatever it is that you put on, then go downstairs and just enjoy dinner." Santana suggested. "Oh, don't let me forget to call Quinn. I want to know how her talk with Rachel went."

"Don't let you forget? Don't let me forget! I want to know what happened too!

Santana laughed nodding her head. "We'll remind each other."

"Sounds like the perfect plan."

xxxxxxxxxx

"I don't understand."

Quinn looked at the girl in front of her. "It's true. I just...what makes you think this love will go the distance? My parents thought it was going to and look what happened."

Rachel didn't know what to say. The pair of them had always had a thing for each other since they met, yes, they had even admitted it to one another, and now Quinn was second-guessing everything? How was that even possible? Her parents were getting separated but what did that have to do with them? They weren't Quinn's parents and Rachel was having a hard time believing everything right now. First Quinn was telling her that the cheating was hardly anything, which it wasn't at the end of the day, then she turned around and said that she didn't think they were going to work out as a couple. Rachel had never been so confused and that was saying something since Brittany Pierce was her best friend.

"Quinn, I'm going to say something and I want you to listen very carefully." Rachel said putting her hands up to her lips for a second before pulling them away again. "We are not your parents. Our relationship is completely different to theirs. I don't see why you are comparing us to them."

"Why shouldn't I?" Quinn asked sighing. "They were married for years, Rachel. What if we were to stay together and end up like that? I don't want that."

"And I don't want this." Rachel told her leaning back in the chair she was sat in. "You are blowing this whole situation out of proportion because you are hurt over what your parents are going through. Friggin hell I swear I have said parents so much in the last two minutes I'm sick of it already."

"I just don't want us both to end up getting hurt which is why we should break up, officially."

Rachel swore her heart just broke. Quinn was the first person she had opened up to, fallen for after she said she wouldn't and gotten with. How could this be happening right now? She couldn't let her see how much she was hurt though. Rachel was stronger than that. Biting her lip, she nodded without saying anything else.

"Don't you have anything you want to say?" Quinn asked sitting on the coffee table in front of Rachel putting a hand on her leg. "I'm sorry for hurting you, but you deserve everything and I just don't believe I can give that to you. I promise you'll thank me one day."

Rachel put a hard look upon her face looking at the girl in front of her. She had loved this girl for as long as she can remember but, for the first time since they met, she didn't recognise the girl who was sat in front of her. She was different. Yes, parents separating can be tough but then you got over it. Would Quinn ever get over it or would she just hang onto the hope that they will both get together again? Should she fight right now?

"You're going to regret this, Quinn. That isn't me threatening you; I'm telling you the truth." Rachel said before standing up walking towards the stairs before turning back and looking at the blonde. "We have always been so strong, Quinn. No matter what life threw at us we always fought together, but I understand this is a fight you need to be alone for."

"Rachel, I don't mean to hurt you." Quinn tried to explain standing up. "I just don't want to hurt you even more than I am right now. I know that if we carried on and we hurt each other in a few years’ time, it would be worse since we would have fallen more in love."

"We are meant to be together, Quinn. I believed that when we first got together and I still do. If you want to break up then fine, but I will never stop loving you. I've fallen too hard."

Sighing, Quinn ran her fingers through her hair. "That's the problem. If we continued and you fell even harder, it would have broken you."

"No. You've broken me already."

Rachel left Quinn standing alone in the living room before going upstairs to her room closing the door before finally allowing herself to break down. She didn't usually cry but now her heart was hurting so bad. At least before they were just on a break but this time it was official. Quinn made it official and there was nothing Rachel could have done to change her mind. Her hands were over her eyes and mouth whilst she cried into them. She was fine crying in her room, however, she knew her ex-girlfriend was still downstairs and she did not want her knowing she had crushed her. Rachel knew it had been a bad idea to get into a relationship and now look at the outcome. Making yourself completely vulnerable to someone has its consequences, and this was it. Having your heart broken was the outcome.

Rachel heard her cell ringing and even though she didn't want to answer, she didn't like not answering calls. She picked up her phone realizing it was Brittany before answering. If it was Quinn she definitely would not have answered. Yes, it had been known for Quinn to call her even from downstairs.

"H-Hello?" Rachel whimpered into the phone not even bothering to hide her emotions from her best friend since she'd find out anyway.

"Rachel? Hey, what's wrong? Did things not go well with Quinn?"

Hiccupping, Rachel shook her head. "No, it didn't go well at all. She broke up with me officially."

"What?"

"She broke up with me, Britt. Can you come over?" Rachel pleaded. "I need you right now."

"Of course, I will. Santana and I have just finished dinner so we'll just wash up then come over. Well I will; she will find Quinn."

"Thank you." Rachel whispered before hanging up the phone. She buried her face back into her legs. Why did things have to go bad now? It wasn't long until summer and they both had plans to spend time together now look where they were. They definitely weren't going to be spending any time together after they had just broken up. Her heart had just been broken in two and she could feel it. It hurt so much and even though logically she knew she would get over it eventfully, she knew in her heart it would definitely take more than a few months. Heck, she knew she wouldn't get into a relationship she loved as much as this one. She had lost so much in the space of a few minutes.

Around ten minutes had gone by without her moving but a knock at the door meant she had to. Standing up Rachel opened her bedroom door to see Brittany there with a sympathetic look on her face. Rachel allowed her into her room before closing the door once again.

"Santana is downstairs with Quinn." Brittany pointed out. "And I'm not leaving your side, okay? Santana understands."

Rachel nodded before moving towards her bed laying down and looking at the ceiling whereas Brittany stood up watching her best friend. How could Quinn do this to her? They were on a break, sure, but that didn't mean they had to break up officially. What was going on with Quinn that would make her want to end the relationship completely.

"You are allowed to cry, Rachel." Brittany said moving to sit next to her on the bed. "It's okay, it's only me."

"I just stopped crying and now I feel like I am just lost." Rachel admitted keeping her eyes on the ceiling. "Britt, Quinn was my life. I did everything with her. Aside from you, she was basically my best friend. I loved her so much and she turned all of that over in one second. She ended everything based on one stupid prospect."

"What's that?"

Rachel sighed. "Quinn's parents are getting separated and she thinks that by breaking up now it will save us heartache in the future. Well, she's practically broken me. Why did I allow myself to get vulnerable? The people you get vulnerable for just hurt you in the end."

"It's a risk everyone has to take to be with the person they love the most." Brittany said, stroking Rachel's hair. "Don't you think I'm scared with Santana?"

Shaking her head, Rachel looked up at her best friend. "No. You don't seem scared at all and you haven't since you met her."

Well, that just boosted her ego a little bit. She had hidden it well. "Well I've hidden it well then because every day I am terrified. I have opened up so much to her that it scares me. I don't know why, but what I do know is I would do anything for that girl. I love Santana. She is everything to me."

"Wait." Rachel spoke out sitting up abruptly. "You love Santana? As in, you are in love with her?"

Brittany smiled, nodding. "I do love her; she just doesn't know yet. I don't want to come off as creepy."

"I can assure you I don't think Santana would see it that way." Rachel responded with a smile. "I can tell she loves you just by the way she looks at you. She adores you."

"Just because she adores me doesn't mean they love me, Rachel." Brittany said, chuckling a little. "We're dating so she kind of has to adore me."

"You should tell her you love her!"

Brittany looked at her best friend raising her eyebrow. "I'm meant to be making you feel better."

"You are! You just told me you love Santana!" Rachel exclaimed, grinning. "How are you going to tell her?"

"To be honest I hadn't thought about it. I'll just tell her like I would say anything else romantic to her." Brittany said honestly shrugging her shoulders. "Is this distracting you?"

"Yes." Brittany answered nodding her head. "Can we continue because I really don't want to think about Quinn right now."

Sighing, Brittany nodded smiling. "Okay. Maybe I could take her out to dinner or something."

"Or you could sing and dance for her."

Brittany looked at Rachel in shock. "Me? Sing? You have got to be out of your mind. I can dance, yes, but can I sing? No."

"Everyone can sing, Brittany." Rachel said laughing. "Some are just better than others."

Brittany laughed smiling when she saw Rachel stand up to get her song book out with a list of her favorite songs. Not that any of them were to her vocal range or anything but it was a nice sentiment. Being honest, Brittany hadn't even thought about telling Santana that she loved her. It was a very daunting thing actually. She had thought about it many times, but it was just hard. They definitely hadn't been together longer than two months. It had been 7 weeks and 4 days to be exact. Not that she had been counting the number of days or anything. Who does that? She just knows that they went on their first date on 27th February, exactly a week after her birthday, and made things official between them on 16th March. Since the date today was, okay she just had to look at Rachel's calendar for the answer, 8th May that sounded about right. Yes, 7 weeks and 4 days. Did couples really do this or was it just her doing the counting? Shaking her head, Brittany watched Rachel go through her song book before actually tuning back into what she was saying.

"So, as you can see there are a number of songs you could do really. Which one do you think you are going to do?"

Smiling, Brittany shook her head. "Neither. San and I don't need to sing to one another to know how the other feels. When the time is right I'll tell her."

"Well if you're sure then okay." Rachel accepted nodding her head. "I think you two would sing well together though."

"I'm sure we would." Brittany agreed chuckling. "But right now, we're just loving being around one another. I love just being in her company."

Rachel nodded her head putting her book away. "It's the best part."

Brittany stroked Rachel's back in comfort. "Quinn will come around, Rach. You'll see."

Even though Rachel didn't believe it, she still nodded her head for her friend's benefit before laying back down again. Would the pain ever go away? She hoped so.

xxxxxxxxxx

Later on, that night around 10pm, Santana and Brittany left Rachel's house with a sigh escaping their lips. It had been a rough afternoon. Both girls were looking after one of their friends to help them through the separation and it had been tiring. Rachel had cried for hours only giving Brittany the option to hold her until she stopped and fell asleep. Quinn on the other hand just kept arguing with Santana on how she had made the right decision for them both, even though Santana didn't believe a word that had come out of her mouth. Brittany sat on the doorstep running her fingers through her hair before being joined by her girlfriend with the same facial expression at hers.

"Exhausted?" Brittany asked, with a chuckle

Santana nodded her head. "Definitely. Quinn is very argumentative when it comes down to it."

Brittany leant her head against Santana's shoulder. "Rachel didn't stop crying for hours. I had to give in and just hold her until she fell asleep. I have never seen her so distraught before. Quinn broke her I think, and before you jump to Quinn's defense, I know it's not her fault. Her parents are going through a tough time so she is too. I just wish she had thought more into this before breaking Rachel completely."

Santana moved her arm to rub her girlfriend's back. "I agree with you. I heard Rachel crying when I went to the bathroom and it was horrible. I wish Quinn had thought about her decision more too, but there's nothing we can do. All we can do is help."

Nodding her head, Brittany looked up at the stars. It was odd since there wasn't usually stars on show in Ohio but it was nice to see. They were sparkling beautifully which made this moment a whole lot better. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's arm enjoying just being with her girlfriend. She kept her eyes on the stars but there was one thing that she kept thinking about. When was the right time to say 'I love you'? She had wanted to for a while now so maybe she should just wait until Santana said it. She definitely didn't want to come across as one of those creepy girlfriends who jumps into saying 'I love you' too quickly. Plus, there was the fact that she could wake up tomorrow with her ability to speak gone. Still. Whether she signed the words or spoke them, they still meant the same thing. That was the important thing and she had to remember that. Brittany sighed happily.

"Isn't the sky beautiful tonight?" Brittany pointed put to her girlfriend smiling. "The stars are shining so bright."

"They are. It's quite rare to be honest."

Brittany nodded in agreement before sitting up looking at Santana. She was beautiful. Stunning actually. If she didn't meet her through Rachel she didn't think she would have ever found the courage to talk to her. Heck, she knew Santana was too good for her but she was glad that they were together. She would definitely not be at this point in her life without her. She made her better and more confident and that was something she could never thank her enough for.

"What is it, babe?" Santana asked smiling.

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am to have you." Brittany said before kissing Santana softly. "Come on. I'll walk you home."

The pair of them stood up making their way to Santana's house together. Brittany knew she could just meet her girlfriend's parents tomorrow and even though it was supposed to be a nervous experience, she couldn't wait.


	27. Twenty-Seven

It was weird being home alone but her parents had gone out to dinner and Santana already had plans since her brother was visiting which only happens once every few months. The only thing she really had to do was her homework which she was attempting at the current moment. Sadie always checked it after it had been marked so she knew where she had gone wrong. She had actually gotten pretty good at her writing even though it still needed improvement. She could call Rachel but with what she was going through with Quinn she didn't tend to answer her phone. It had been three days since the break up and she had only just gotten worse from when it happened. Not that she blamed the girl or anything because if she had been in that situation it would have broken her too. She felt really bad for Rachel considering what she had been through. Santana had been assuring her that everything would turn out okay so, for the time being anyway, she would listen to her girlfriend.

Looking up something caught Brittany's eye from the shelf, causing her to stand up and walk towards it. Taking the object from the shelf she smiled when she was holding the photo frame Quinn had bought her for her birthday with a picture of all her friends inside it. Just looking at the picture made her smile just because she had never had friends before starting the school. Everything always came back to it which made her grateful for the decision she made. One she knew she couldn't regret no matter how hard she tried. The fact was even at school she was doing well too. She was able to talk to teachers, have them help her in class if she needed it as well as answer questions when she felt up for it. As you can imagine everyone was shocked by who she had transformed into but she liked it. Yes, she had girls and guys not being shy about checking her out now with this new-found confidence she had but she didn't mind. Well, she didn't. Santana on the other hand had a huge problem with it, but once Brittany reminded her who was there when she needed someone the most, it usually calmed her down.

The ring of the doorbell brought her out of her thoughts surprising her. Who could that be when everyone she knew was busy? Still, Brittany walked downstairs unlocking the door to reveal Sam standing there. Well this was a surprise seeing as she doesn't remember showing him where she lived but still.

"Hey Sam." Brittany greeted with a smile. "What's up?"

"So, it is true. You have gotten over your fear of talking." Sam said with a smile. "Sorry I've just been off sick the past few days and I only just got a message about the news so I had to come and see you."

Chuckling Brittany nodded opening the door wider to let Sam inside. "Yeah it's true. It's been an experience just using my voice again. I find myself just wanting to stop talking but I push myself through it and rest my voice at night. Well, after years of not using it I guess it doesn't really need resting."

Sam nodded sitting down in the armchair allowing Brittany to close the door behind them before joining him in the living room.

"I bet it's great being able to talk to others again."

"It is! You wouldn't believe how hard it is to communicate by being terrified of the thought of talking so to be able to actually communicate properly with others is great." Brittany explained. "I mean, I'm not perfect since I still suffer with dyslexia but aside from that I feel pretty good. Everyone has something they are ashamed about. No one is perfect."

"Very true. So, I assume you have an actual reason for being here."

Sam nodded his head. "Yes actually. Can you help me with my Glee performance? I've heard you're a good dancer and that's what I need help with. I have the song but I'm just no good with the dancing part."

"How'd you know I was good at dancing?" Brittany asked. "Did I tell you?"

Sam shook his head. "Nah Quinn mentioned that you're a good dancer who got told by Santana. So - can you help me?"

Brittany was quite flattered at the thought of being asked since she knew he could have asked someone like Mike who she knew was in Glee Club already. Yes, she was a good dancer but she never expected someone to come to her about it. Plus, by helping him it may be her way of joining Glee Club. Santana and Rachel were part of the club so maybe it was time she joined too. She knew it would be fun and she could dance as much as she wanted with the added points of getting appreciated for doing it by other people. Not that she needed it or anything, it would just be nice. There was also the fact that she was basically friends with everyone in there already so it would be like having a class with your friends. What better way to spend an hour or two a day?

"Okay sure even though I've never really danced in front of people before." Brittany stated truthfully with a small smile. "When is your performance?"

"Tomorrow. I know it's late notice but I just really want to make it good." Sam said. "And when I heard you were a good dancer I thought I'd ask you. You can even watch me if you want?"

"I'd love to! Okay we have a lot of work to do, so what song have you picked?"

Sam smiled. "Thanks so much! Okay, so I picked Stevie Wonder's 'I Wish'. It's kind of why I need help. I usually just play my guitar but I want to do something different this time. I want to impress everyone."

"That's actually perfect because it's such an upbeat song to dance to. However, I want you to know that I worked hard to get to the point where I am due to the fact that I have dyslexia but the good thing is I know how to teach you to make it easier for you." Brittany explained. "There is a dance studio I like to go to which is down the road from here so how about we go there now and practice? Unless you have other plans of course."

Sam shook his head standing up. "Let's go. I want Glee Club to see me for more than just a guy with a guitar who does awesome impressions."

"Then it's sorted. Let's get a move on."

Brittany and Sam made their way out of the house walking to the studio. If she was being honest with herself, Brittany was nervous. She had never danced in front of anyone, aside from that time Santana saw her, so she didn't know if she was going to impress Sam or show him she was bad. Okay, she was good but he might not think so. She still got nervous and scared when it came to her dancing in case she wasn't good enough. It was one thing she was scared of. Not being as good as she personally thinks she is. Since growing up she hated being around other people she learnt all her moves from just watching videos on the internet and music videos. The fact that everything she knew she taught herself was saying something. One thing she didn't want to do is let Sam down so she would do her best to make it the best damn routine she had ever done. She wanted everyone to be impressed with him and that was what was going to happen. They had until tomorrow so it was best to get started straight away.

Walking inside the studio Brittany got her iPod docking station, which she only kept at the studio since she didn't need it at home, out from the cupboard plugging her iPod in before changing into some suitable clothes for dancing and throwing some at Sam.

"You can't dance like that today." Brittany stated after seeing the confused look on Sam's face. "We are going to be here for a while which means getting sweaty and you don't want your good clothes smelling of sweat."

Sam bit his lip nervously. "You can definitely teach me, right?"

"Just trust me, okay?" Brittany said with a smile. "I taught myself from the age of three and if I can teach myself then I can teach someone else, especially since things usually confuse me easily."

"Okay, let's get started." Sam replied changing his clothes before putting his casual clothes on the floor beside the wall. "I'm ready."

Smiling, Brittany nodded turning the song on moving into the middle of the room to start.

xxxxxxxxxx

When Brittany began dancing she started to become invested in it so it was a surprise to her when her phone began ringing. Looking at the time she had noticed that they had been at the studio for longer than six hours, however, Sam was doing very well. The first two hours or so were terrible since Sam had trouble distinguishing his lefts from his rights, which Brittany understood since she was the same, but from around the third hour Sam started to pick up the moves better. He still struggled a little bit but he was getting there.

"Okay take five. You deserve it." Brittany said patting his shoulder before jogging to answer her phone. "Hello?"

"Hey babe! I haven't heard from you so I thought I'd call to check that you're okay."

Brittany couldn't stop a smile creeping up on her face. "Hey baby. I'm good thank you. I've just been dancing. You know how I get."

"I do, yes. Sorry we couldn't hang out today. I've just been catching up with my brother."

Picking up a bottle of water, Brittany drank half a bottle in one go before throwing one to Sam. "Oh no don't apologize. I've been kind of busy myself anyway and I don't think I'll be able to see you tomorrow morning either. But I'll definitely see you at school."

"That's fine I think Julian is taking me anyway. Are you free after school? I mean, I have Glee Club at three for an hour but aside from that I'm free."

"Sure, I'll see you then, babe. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams to you too. Goodnight beautiful."

"Night gorgeous." Brittany ended before hanging up turning back to Sam. "Want to keep going for another hour or do you want to go home and pick up where we left off tomorrow?"

"I want to keep going." Sam said with confidence. "I need to get this right for tomorrow. I know Glee Club isn't until three, but we have lessons most of the day tomorrow. Plus, I'm not even sure if we'll have space to practice in private there."

Brittany walked up to Sam putting her hands on his shoulders. "You can do this. When you believe in something enough you can do it. I believe in you and you know I'm going to be there to watch you. You are doing so well."

Sam raised his head slightly. "You think?"

"I know because I've been the one teaching you." Brittany said in response before turning the song back on. "As long as you remember left, right, left, right, turn then you have the whole routine under wraps. It's only the beginning you seem to be struggling with."

"Lefts and rights." Sam chuckled shrugging his shoulders. "They confuse me."

"I'm not judging you. You ready? We have an hour left in here before we're kicked out."

Sam nodded his head. "Let's do this."

xxxxxxxxxx

It had been weird walking into school without Santana, however, Sam had messaged her saying he wanted to put extra practice in so they met up early to practice in the choir room. It allowed Brittany to assess how much space he actually had to dance in. Luckily it was a reasonable amount which made the routine fit perfectly. They had gone through the routine a couple of times that morning just so Sam knew what he was going to be doing by himself in front of the Glee Club. She left her parents a message to warn them about being late since she wasn't going to be leaving the school until at least quarter past four at the earliest. She was planning on congratulating Sam whether it went well or bad. Everyone needed to hear that when they had learnt something just so they didn't lose their confidence. Brittany agreed with that theory.

Since the bell went off a couple of minutes ago, everyone was making their way to their lessons however since Sadie was sick she didn't have that. Sam had another lesson so he went to that which left Brittany by herself. She was sat in the choir room on one of the back seats looking around the room. It seemed like a safe space actually and it was a reasonable size too. Peaceful was a word she would definitely use too. She remembered the first time she entered this room. She hadn't been at the school long and she had decided to be brave and dance around the room since she didn't think anyone was watching. She took everything in from the piano to the trophies in the cabinets. The whole room was family like. You could feel it when you walked in. Standing up, Brittany walked to one of the cabinets looking at the trophies in there. There were a few first-place trophies in there which had to be a good sign as well as a few second-place ones too.

Something caught her eye in the corner of the room. There was a plaque on the wall of a woman from what she could see. Walking over, Brittany read what was engraved on it.

"By its very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy." Brittany read aloud to herself. "Huh. Well that kind of makes sense."

"Well I'm glad somebody in this room understands it." A voice from behind her spoke aloud. Brittany turned around to see a teacher stood there. "None of the other kids get it."

Brittany pressed her lips together nodding. "Glee, genuinely, is about happiness in my opinion. You know, like gleeful meaning triumphantly joyful. It's not hard to understand. I read that in a book once."

The teacher looked impressed nodding his head. "That's exactly it. Try explaining that to some of my students in Glee. Sorry, I should really introduce myself. Mr Schuester but everyone calls me Mr Schue. I'm the Glee director for this school."

"Brittany Pierce but everyone generally calls me Britt. I just kind of wandered in here." Brittany responded letting out a small laugh. "I've been helping Sam with his Glee assignment this week."

Mr Schue looked at the blonde impressed. "Really? He said he was doing something different."

"It's definitely different." Brittany said laughing. "But he's worked really hard on it so hopefully you'll all like it."

"I'm sure it will be." Mr Schue said nodding his head. "Have you thought about joining the Glee club, Brittany?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Brittany nodded her head before putting her hands in her pockets. "I have but I just don't think it's my scene. Santana likes it here though and you give her somewhere safe to be and I appreciate that. I just honestly can't see myself being in here."

Well that was a complete lie. Brittany could see herself being in here but right now she didn't want to think about it. Yes, she had helped Santana with Glee assignments before, but only by helping pick a song. She couldn't join and do her own thing in here. If there was a group of students that stuck up for one another then that's great. When she first started, she wanted to, but at the moment it just wasn't for her. Plus, Mike Chang was already a good dancer and they didn't need more than one. It would be like competition or something.

"She's really good. You should come and watch sometime."

Brittany smiled. "I plan to. I'm watching Sam's performance later so I'll be joining you for, like, five minutes then I have somewhere to be."

"Well it will be a joy to see what you and Sam came up with." Mr Schue said with a smile before the bell rang. "Wow is that the time already? I need to be somewhere so I'll see you later in Glee. It was nice to meet you."

Brittany smiled before turning back to the plaque once Mr Schue left the room. Everyone was leaving their classrooms so she decided to go and find her girlfriend. She was in one of the rooms around here which was why she chose the choir room to stay in for her free period. She turned around to go through the other door when she was met with Santana appearing in the doorway. Smiling, Brittany made her way over wrapping her arms around her in a hug. Pulling back slightly she pecked her on the lips.

"Hey you."

Santana smiled moving her arms around Brittany's neck. "Hey yourself. Had fun?"

Brittany shrugged. "Not really, but it's been okay. Mr Schue got into a conversation with me about Glee and asked me if I thought about joining."

"What did you say?" Santana asked, secretly hoping she said yes. Since Brittany's timetable got altered a few weeks after she got here, they've not been in many lessons together.

"I said not right now. I was all for it when I started but now I really just don't feel like it." Brittany answered. "I'm glad you feel safe here though."

"I do and you could too."

Shaking her head, Brittany didn't agree. Yes, she would feel safe but she would never want to perform since she kind of felt that her dancing was personal. It was something she enjoyed doing without everyone watching and even though she had taught Sam to dance, she wasn't performing or anything. She didn't want that kind of pressure on herself. Trying to distract herself from the conversation she looked around and notice the band standing in the corner.

"Do they stay there all the time?" Brittany asked, motioning to the band which caused Santana to glance in their direction too before shrugging her shoulders.

"I've never seen them not here, so maybe."

Brittany had an idea, but it would have to wait until later. This was something she had to plan. "Fair enough. Ready for lunch?"

Taking her hand, Santana nodded. "Lead the way."

xxxxxxxxxx

It was three o'clock before she knew it she was sat in the choir room in the corner with all of the other Glee kids. They were all chatting amongst themselves and even though she knew them, she didn't really know them that well. Well, not enough to talk to them freely in conversation. It didn't take her long before she noticed Sam walk in with a nervous look on his face. She knew she had to calm him down somehow or his performance wouldn't go that well. Standing up, she walked over to him putting her hands on his shoulders.

"It will be fine, Sam."

He nodded his head. "I know I'm just not a good of a dancer as you."

Brittany chuckled. "Well that's true but I've been dancing for years. You can't be amazing with eight hours’ practice. You can do this. I believe in you."

Sam nodded his head and with that Brittany sat back down when she noticed Santana had moved to sit beside her. Chuckling she put her arm around the back of Santana's chair.

"Well, look who it is." Brittany said with a smirk. "Santana Lopez. I've heard lot about you."

Santana looked at her girlfriend before chuckling. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Well for one I've heard you're a good kisser." Brittany teased moving closer. "Your girlfriend won't mind me borrowing your lips for two seconds, will she?"

"I'm sure she won't." Santana whispered kissing Brittany back when she felt lips on her own moving her hand up to cup her cheek when they pulled apart. "That was nice."

"Very nice." Brittany grinned, kissing her cheek looking at the front when Mr Schue asked for everyone's attention.

Mr Schue clapped his hands. "Okay guys, today Sam is going to perform something different for us than what he usually does so let's show him our support, okay? That means no laughing Puckerman."

"What's with the hate today?" Puck groaned folding his arms leaning back in his seat.

"Go ahead, Sam." Mr Schue said before sitting down.

Sa cleared his throat whispering to the band what song he wanted playing. He stood in the middle of the room clearing his throat before looking up at everyone. "Okay so I know that usually I just play my guitar but I wanted to show you that wasn't all I could do, so with Brittany's help I was able to come up with this number."

The band began to play and just when his cue came he just stood there in the middle of the room not moving. Brittany leant forward a bit waiting for him to start but he still didn't move. They had practiced this loads of times so why was he just stood there frozen like some kind of statue? Brittany stood up walking up to Sam looking at the bank to stop playing for a second.

"What's going on, Sam?" Brittany whispered. "You can do this."

Sam shook his head. "I can't. I can't do this. What if I mess up?"

"Who cares? Just start dancing and have fun. It's what you wanted, right? To show everyone you can be different." Brittany encouraged.

Sam bit his lip nervously taking a deep breath nodding. "Okay, but can you do it with me? I feel calmer when we're doing it together."

Brittany didn't plan on this happening. She was happy to watch but actually perform in front of other people? She had become good friends with Sam over the past few months, what, with them having Sadie's lesson together and the fact that they both had a learning difficulty made it easy to bond with him. Brittany knew how important this was for him so, without caring how she felt, she nodded her head. Well, it was time for people to judge her dancing. She took a step back looking at the audience once before pointing to the band. Sam let himself smile as the band began to play. Everyone else in the room was confused on what was happening until Brittany began dancing along with Sam. They had practiced the routine enough and now Brittany was up with Sam he remembered the routine better. He was actually getting into it when he began to sing.

_Looking back on when I_

_Was a little nappy headed boy_

_Then my only worry_

_Was for Christmas what would be my toy_

_Even though we sometimes_

_Would not get a thing_

_We were happy with the_

_Joy the day would bring_

_Sneaking out the back door_

_To hang out with those hoodlum friends of mine, uh-woah_

_Greeted at the back door_

_With "boy thought I told you not to go outside"_

_Tryin' your best to bring the_

_Water to your eyes_

_Thinkin' it might stop her_

_From woopin' your behind_

It was weird thinking this but she was actually enjoying herself. It was quite an energetic atmosphere and everyone had been cheering ever since they started. All the moves they had practiced were coming so naturally now that even performing in front of other people wasn't bothering her. She felt that everything she had missed out on when she hadn't been able to be around people was showing now. The way her body moved to the beat, how each move came so easily to her made her happy. She was moving across the floor, along with Sam of course, without a care in the world. She just wanted to dance and enjoy it. That was what she was doing. Dancing. Performing. Showing everyone what she could do along with how she had taught Sam the same moves. The both of them looked great and when she glanced at Sam whilst they danced she could tell he felt the same way.

_I wish those days could come back once more_

_Why did those days ev-er have to go_

_I wish those days could come back once more_

_Why did those days ev-er have to go_

_Cause I love them so_

_Brother says he's tellin'_

_'Bout you playin' doctor with that girl_

_Just don't tell I'll give you_

_Anything you want in this whole wide world_

_Mama gives you money for Sunday school_

_You trade yours for candy after church is through_

_You nasty boy!_

Brittany winked at her dance partner which made him grin but it didn't stop him from singing. Everyone was actually getting into it too. Dancing in their seats or standing up and moving around. Is this what Glee was? Just enjoying yourself? No pressure? If that was the case, then why shouldn't she join? She could get used to this. Just dancing around the room having fun and the plus side? Santana was part of the club. If that wasn't a reason to join, then she didn't know what was. Well the dancing part was pretty important but still. Throughout the dance all kinds of moves were being shown. Even a little bit of ballet was shown but one thing was for sure. People were able to tell she was a dancer. How could they not? Sam was doing pretty well doing dancing and singing at the same time too. Oh, who was she kidding? They were doing an awesome job. She was kind of glad she could join in.

_Teacher sends you to the principal's office down the hall_

_You grow up and learn that kinda thing ain't right_

_But while you were doin' it, it sure felt outta sight_

_I wish those days could come back once more_

_Why did those days ev-er have to go?_

_I wish those days could come back once more_

_Why did those days ev-er have to go_

_Ow! Why did they have to go, yeah_

_Ooh, yeah, hooo, mhm, uuh_

_Oh, oh, yeah, hey, uh-woah_

_Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do_

The song came to an end but the room erupted in cheers. No one had expected that kind of routine clearly. She was proud of Sam for getting through it plus staying in sync with her at the same time. Yes, he wasn't a dancer but for a singer he did pretty well. She walked up to Sam high fiving him with a smile before hugging him. Everyone in the room was stood up clapping and cheering. Well, aside from this boy in a wheelchair but that wasn't his fault. Smiling she pulled away from Sam looking in the direction of her girlfriend who was clapping with everyone else sending her a smile. Santana winked back with a smile in return.

"Guys, that was amazing!" Mr Schue exclaimed grinning at them. "Sam, that is what you call different I'm impressed! Brittany, I can't believe you taught him that. How long did it take?"

"Around eight hours, but saying that he did that well in that amount of time is impressive." Brittany stated, smiling in Sam's direction. "You did great. Really."

"Thank you, Britt, and thank you Mr Schue."

The both of them sat down with Brittany sitting back next to Santana. The two girls looked at one another smiling.

"You know this confidence about you makes me even more proud of you." Santana said taking her hand. "Plus, it's kind of sexy."

"Kind of?" Brittany asked raising her eyebrow. "Only kind of?"

Santana chuckled. "Okay, it's very sexy. I love it and your dancing just blew me away."

Smiling Brittany kisses Santana's hand leaning back in her seat before wrapping an arm around her girlfriend who leaned against her resting her head on her shoulder. She did have stuff to do, but sticking around wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. As a matter of fact, if this was the way the rest of the year was going to go then she felt pretty lucky. The way her life has transformed just from this school was extraordinary. Brittany looked at her girlfriend and couldn't believe how lucky she was. At this rate when it came to next year she would be going to college, which was an entirely different adventure altogether.

Glee Club was almost over by the looks of things which meant she could finally put her idea to good use. Smiling, Brittany whispered in Santana's ear.

"Stay behind with me after. I want to show you something."

Santana nodded sitting up when everyone else started to depart the room allowing herself to get more and more excited about what her girlfriend was going to show her. She loved anything from Brittany so whatever it was she knew she would love it.

Brittany stood up once everyone had left closing both choir room doors before leading Santana to the front row of chairs. She loved the feeling they got when they held each other's hand. Santana's hands were always so soft making them incredible to hold.

"What is this about, Britt?" Santana asked sitting down in the chair. "You literally isolated us in here."

Chuckling, Brittany nodded. "I did but that's because I have something to tell you, but this is the only private place I could think of."

"Okay. Well go ahead, baby." Brittany encouraged motioning for her to talk. "I'm all ears."

Brittany looked at her girlfriend and knew this had to be perfect. She couldn't just say it then have her tell other people she just blurted it out. It had to be a romantic story because that was what Santana deserved. She deserved romance, love, commitment as well as perfection. She might not be perfect but she knew Santana better than anyone. It was going to go well.

"Santana, you have been amazing." Brittany began smiling at her girlfriend. "Since I met you I have had nothing but support from you. When I struggled, you were there, when I succeeded you were there and even when I didn't want anyone, you were still there. There is no one on this planet I respect more than you. Well, aside from Rachel, but you get my point. You gave me a chance when no one else did and you put the time in for me that I had only seen Rachel put in. Out of everyone in my life, I have wanted you with me since the day we met. Heck when I first saw you I thought you were the most gorgeous human being on the planet. That is why this is so hard for me to say." Brittany continued with a small chuckle, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

"Britt, whatever you need to tell me just come out with it. I want to know what's on your mind." Santana said.

Brittany nodded walking over to Santana kneeling in front of her taking her hands in her own. She was so nervous right now since Santana could have a bad reaction, but she had to get out what she wanted to say. If she didn't, she knew she never would. Brittany took a deep breath before nodding and looking up meeting her gaze.

"I couldn't have gotten through the amount of stuff I did without you." Brittany admitted with a smile. "You have been there since day one and without you I wouldn't be who I am today. You are the reason I am talking, touching amongst many other things. My confidence comes from you, baby. I got up and danced for you and now, whenever I even talk, hug someone, shake someone's hand I think of you. I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, your touch, the way you snore softly when you sleep, the way you look at me when you don't think I notice, even though I do and let's not forget that you text me every single morning, just so I have a message to wake up to from you when you're not with me. You are perfect Santana Lopez and I never want to be away from you. I always want you by my side so I can do all those things for you."

Santana's eyes widened. "Oh god, you're not proposing, are you?"

Brittany chuckled shaking her head. "No, I would make your proposal extravagant and it would not be at school in the choir room."

"Then what are you trying to say?" Santana whispered looking into her girlfriend's ocean blue eyes.

Brittany smiled. "Santana Lopez, I am in love with you. I love you so much and I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me. You make my life better and I want to be by your side no matter what life throws at us. I just love you, Santana."

Santana's eyes went wide in shock. That was something she was not expecting to hear.

"Santana?" Brittany asked after a minute of no one saying anything. "Say something at least. Anything."

The two girls looked into each other's eyes with not one person saying a word.


	28. Twenty-Eight

The two girls hadn't said a word in over ten minutes and it was seriously worrying Brittany. Had she been wrong on assuming the Latina loved her back? Was it too soon? All these words were going on through her head and she had no idea what her girlfriend was thinking. As much as she wanted to hear Santana's thoughts, she was also worried that hearing her thoughts would make her feel stupid. The reason behind the big speech was so Santana knew she loved her. She didn't like the idea of just saying those three words with no meaning behind them. This way Santana knew how much she cared for her. How much she loved her. Was it the wrong decision? Had what she felt for her girlfriend made her make this decision hastily? She thought she did the right thing. She thought telling someone how you felt about them was what you were supposed to do. That was how she read it in stories she read, however, maybe they were wrong. Maybe life didn't turn out the way you wanted it too.

Brittany was about to move when Santana pulled her right into a passionate kiss with no warning. There were lips smashed together moving together, tongues moving with one another and breaths being shared amongst two people. Two people who had learnt the hard way how to love each other. Learnt that the physical connection wasn't the most important thing in a relationship; the way you felt about that person was and the emotional connection you shared. Somehow, between the kissing, Brittany had ended up on Santana's lap. Her legs were wrapped around the back of the chair since she couldn't wrap them around Santana herself. Brittany's fingers ran through her girlfriend's hair, messing it up a little, whist moaning into the kiss each time she felt Santana's tongue against hers. She couldn't help it. She felt so good. Her kisses were electric and magical.

Once the two girls finally pulled away their foreheads were touching whilst they caught their breath back. Brittany traced her fingers down Santana's face resting them on her neck, panting.

"What was that for?" Brittany asked, breathlessly.

Santana bit her lip. "You said the most romantic thing I've ever heard. It was so beautiful that you made me speechless."

Brittany smiled. "You deserve to hear things like that every day."

Looking up at her girlfriend, Santana nodded before leaning up kissing Brittany softly. "So do you."

"I don't want you to tell me what you think now because then I would feel that you're only saying it because you have to." Brittany admitted. 'Saying something just because I did isn't something I want. I want you to say something because you actually mean it and I'm willing to-"

Santana kissed Brittany once again when she began to ramble before pulling back moving her fingertips up and down her sides. Smiling, Santana pulled back just enough to get her words out.

"If you'd let me speak I can tell you what I feel."

Blushing, Brittany nodded. "Sorry, I've noticed since I've been able to speak again I ramble when I'm nervous."

Santana smiled, knowing she could have guessed that Brittany would be a rambler, however, lucky for her, she thought the rambling was adorable.

"Do you realize that I've waited so long for someone to say something like that to me?" Santana admitted. "Before we met I had kissed other girls, but never did they make me feel the way you do. Truthfully, no one has made me feel the way you do."

"Really?" Brittany asked. "Because I feel the same way about you."

"I know, but at the same time you've never kissed anyone else, Britt. When you said that to me, I was concerned that you were only saying that after not being with anyone else. I've helped you a lot and I'm just scared that if someone else comes along who is prettier than I am, you'll want to know what that feels like. What it'd be like to kiss that person. Feel them against you. I'm scared that you'll want more than what I'm offering."

Brittany had never been so shocked in her life. Santana was so confident and for all the time they had been around one another not once had she showed signs of being scared; terrified of losing her. Brittany might not have kissed other people but Santana made her feel everything. She saw fireworks when they kissed, she always got excited when she was meeting her, how Santana made her body react in ways she can't even explain. She was special and the fact Santana didn't see that in herself upset her deeply.

"Do you not realize how much I love you?" Brittany asked. "Do you not see that when I look at you?"

Santana nodded. "Of course, I do. You look at me as though I'm the only person in the room sometimes."

"Exactly, so please tell me why I would want someone else?" Brittany asked smiling moving her hands up her girlfriend's chest and neck slowly before stopping at the back of her neck. "Do you honestly think that little of me you think I'll jump the next girl who walks through that door?"

Santana bit her lip shaking her head. "Well no, but-"

Brittany leant in kissing her girlfriend not wanting her to continue that sentence. "But nothing. I'm in love with you and that means something to me. It's kind of cute how worried you are actually."

Santana nods smiling. "Thank you. I'm just scared that once I say those three words to you, I'll get hurt."

"And I totally get that. I was terrified too which was why I kept it from you to but, baby, I promise you, I'm not going to leave you for some other girl." Brittany assured cupping her cheek stroking it with her thumb. "Okay?"

"Okay." Santana whispered nodding her head putting her hand on top of Brittany's. "I do love you, you know? It's just scary because you're my first real girlfriend."

"I know." Brittany whispers nodding her head. "You're my first girlfriend too, however, we'll get through the scary parts together. We don't need to rush into anything."

Biting her lip, Santana nodded. "I'm sorry for being insecure."

Chuckling Brittany shook her head. "Don't be. It's nice to be able to reassure you for once."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Brittany confirmed. "You were always reassuring me about how I felt on my speech ability, so now I'm returning the favor as it were."

Santana smiled before leaning in kissing Brittany who wrapped her arms around her neck kissing back. It didn't take long before they were back to kissing passionately. They didn't care for anyone else and all Brittany wanted was to stay there and kiss her girlfriend for as long as she could. The school was most likely empty anyway since teachers were in their classrooms, they were alone. Brittany's fingers ran through Santana's hair whilst they kissed and she felt herself getting hotter by the minute. She pulled away to take a breath after a few minutes leaning her head against Santana's forehead with her eyes closed. She felt herself shiver when Santana's fingertips ran up her sides. She didn't want to move, even though they had to get back. They both knew they had to make their way home but neither of them wanted to. They wanted to stay where they were and just hold each other. However, if they stayed in this position they would end up going back to making out and that definitely was not a good idea

"We should..."

Santana nodded chuckling. "Good idea. We can go to my parents’ house tonight. It's overdue."

Smiling, Brittany nodded getting off of Santana holding her hand out helping her out of her seat. The both of them held each other's hands before walking out of the classroom. Neither of them had ever been so happy before. They both loved each other, Brittany was getting better and, most of all, they could be together. They had imagined this for so long and the fact that it was now true was just unreal. Brittany couldn't wait to meet her parents. She was getting quite excited actually that they were now going over there. What could go wrong?

xxxxxxxxxx

Walking up to the house they walked inside once Santana had unlocked the door. No one seemed to be home at the moment meaning they were most likely by themselves. It didn't bother them since they could occupy themselves whilst they were waiting. however, Santana still looked uneasy. Brittany wasn't sure why so she went over and wrapped an arm around her kissing her temple. She had only been to Santana's house once and, to be honest, she didn't even remember anything. She had drank that night and even though the house looked kind of familiar to her, it wasn't as though she knew where she was. She couldn't find Santana's room or anything.

"Come on. We can go to my room." Santana stated taking her head leading them both to her room. "I can't believe my parents and brother aren't here."

Brittany bit her lip not wanting to intrude. "Well, where are they?"

"No clue sweetie." Santana responded shrugging her shoulders closing the door behind them. "Excuse the mess. I didn't have time to tidy up this morning."

"It's fine, babe. My room isn't exactly perfect."

"Are you joking?" Santana asked before laughing. "Your room has everything in its place."

Santana did have a point. She did like her room tidy but that didn't mean she expected everyone else's to be to her standard. She didn't mind when it was someone else's room since it was their living space, not hers. Plus, the untidiness was kind of who Santana was. Everything might not be perfect but, in her opinion, it showed off Santana's personality and who she was as a person. Brittany liked that.

"How about we watch a movie?" Santana suggested. "I have a few Disney movies."

Laughing, Brittany nodded. "Big Hero 6?"

"I actually do funnily enough. Don't judge me."

Brittany shook her head before moving to sit on Santana's bed waiting. In this type of environment, she always imagined herself being scared or nervous, but she was actually feeling good. Calm and content would be a couple of words to use in this situation. The room was darker than hers, that was for sure, but she could get used to it. To be honest, Brittany wanted to start coming over to Santana's more so she could get to know her family, since they didn't really know one another. She wanted to know what her mother and father were like; her brother too. What she was like when she was younger and to hear all the stories about baby Santana. She wanted to know where the family came from to how they got where they are. If Santana's family were important to her then they were important to her too. She knows Santana feels the same about her own family.

She felt the bed dip meaning Santana had come to join her. She leant against the headboard holding an arm out giving Santana the invitation to cuddle up against her which she took. Taking the remote from her girlfriend she turned the movie on. She was surprised when Santana turned off her lamp seeing as it was already pretty park in the room with, at the moment, the television being the only source of light. Neither of them cared though since they were able to be alone together. Well, at least until her parents and brother returned. To be honest, Brittany hadn't really heard her talk much about her family. Whether that was intentional or not, she wanted to know more about them.

"Babe?"

"Mhm?" Santana mumbled stroking Brittany's side.

"Tell me about your family." Brittany requested moving her hand over Santana's back. "You don't talk about them much."

"I usually have my mind occupied by you that anything else doesn't seem to process." Santana explained chuckling making Brittany blush. "But honestly there isn't much to know. My parents are doctors, which you know, and my brother is at college playing football, which you know too. What more is there?"

"Well what are they like? How are hey as parents? Is your brother a good big brother? Stuff like that."

It was sweet that Brittany wanted to know about her family. She knew many other people wouldn't give a damn so for a girl to want to know about her family was new. She never imagined any girl asking about her family, actually. She always imagined just introducing then it being left like that.

"Okay, well, my parents were kind of strict, however, dad always spoiled me and Julian." Santana admitted with a smile. "Julian didn't think he dos but that's not true. Whatever I wanted growing up, I got. Dad put it down to me being the only girl but I know it was down to him growing up poor. He couldn't get a lot of thing and, even though Julian would never admit it, we both got spoilt. I'm just younger than him so the stuff he got, I don't think he noticed. For example, one year my dad paid for him to go to football camp for the summer which was over two grand. Julian just saw it as being sent away to camp."

"That is pretty lucky." Brittany responded kissing Santana's head.

The Latina nodded in agreement. "Basically, yes. However, it was hard too because they were at work a lot. Julian looked after me almost every day which is why I think he has a tough relationship with him. Julian wanted our parents around more. Mami was home more than dad so we got a better relationship with her. I feel like dad thought he needed to buy our love a little but, of course, we didn't want that. We just wanted him around a lot more ham he was."

"So, you and your brother got closer because he looked after you a lot?" Brittany assumed in a questioning manner.

"Exactly." Santana confirmed moving her hand to rest on Brittany's upper abdomen. "We played football and video games together then watched TV too. He was a pretty awesome big brother and I liked hanging out with him so, when he went away to college, it was harder for me than my parents."

Brittany moved the hand that wasn't on her girlfriends back to hold Santana's hand squeezing it in comfort. "At least he's come home to visit."

Santana couldn't help but smile before nodding. "It's why I spent the day with him when he came home. I wanted to see him so badly since he took care of me a lot."

Brittany smiled stroking the Latinas back whilst they watched the movie. Well, they weren't watching it as such but they were listening to it at least. When it came to Disney movies, Brittany was such a kid. She loved animated movies and they were often such beautiful pieces of art. She could watch them all day at times.

"I have a question to ask." Santana stated sitting up. "Julian and I are going to have dinner tomorrow night. Will you come too? Out of everyone in my family I want you to get to know him the most."

Brittany smiled. "Honey, of course I'll come with you. I want to get to know your brother."

"I'm glad you're willing to meet my family."

"I've always wanted to." Brittany admitted before leaning in kissing her cheek. "I want to know who influenced who you are today."

"Then you'll be impressed." Santana responded. "You'll like them all, I'm sure of it."

Brittany couldn't help but notice how adorable Santana was. The way she spoke about her family or things she cared about made her heat flutter. She got so passionate about stuff like that. I couldn't wait to see all the sides to her that I hadn't seen. Everything was just exciting for Brittany since this was all new and I knew it was for her girlfriend as well. They may have just told each other I love you for the first time, however. anything they do in the future will impact them. Brittany couldn't wait for all the firsts she would get to have with Santana. She made her so incredibly happy and couldn't wait to see where life took them. All she wanted was her and would do her absolute best to make sure Santana stayed happy. That's all Brittany wanted for her and she would make sure, until her last breath, that she was happy and content.

"I can't wait to meet the Lopez Family." Brittany said before pushing Santana onto her back. "I can't wait to do everything with you, Santana."

"Yeah?" Santana asked to make sure she heard her right. “You want everything with me?"

Brittany nodded leaning her head on her arm moving her other arm to trace her fingers over her skin. "I do. I want everything from you being my prom date to you taking my virginity. I love you, so so much, Santana Lopez. You have made me a better person and I couldn't do anything to repay you for that. You are my best friend, aside from Rachel of course, my girlfriend and sometimes, even my therapist. I know I will meet your family in the future but, right now, I'm just content laying here with you until we fall asleep."

Santana blushed before leaning up grazing her lips over her girlfriend's. She looked up into Brittany's eyes cupping her cheek. "I am in love with you, Brittany Pierce. I will always, always, be in love with you."

Brittany smiled leaning in and kissing her girlfriend before looking back into her favorite pair of chocolate brown eyes.

"I will always be in love with you too."

Brittany laid down completely before pulling Santana against her chest, spooning her from behind. This year had been the most important one in her opinion. She had a motocross contract of some sort, had real friends and now a real girlfriend who she loved. She never thought at any point in her life she would get to this stage, however, here she was. The thing about life is it takes you in different directions and when Brittany was pointed towards this one and took it, it was the best decision she had ever made. Now, she had a great relationship with her parents and had accepted her twin brother's death, well, better than what she had before. Everything in her life was now perfect and, finally, she could say she was happy with her life. What more could a person want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this was a hard one to write which is why it is so short and seems like it ended pretty quickly. That is for a reason though! I want to thank every single person who went through this journey with me. This is, by far, by favourite story that I have written and I am so incredibly proud of it. I saw the comments from the last chapter and I will indeed be making a sequel. I've not decided what is going to happen yet, however, I do know it will take place after high school so look out for that! I'm afraid this is the last chapter so thank you all so so much for reading. I have never gotten to the end of a story before but I knew I had to come back and finish this one. I love you all so much! Look out for my other stories too :) Now I hope you enjoy this last chapter because I enjoyed writing it :')


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